This humorous look back on breastfeeding was written by my friend Sue Potts. Sue shares some aspects of breastfeeding she never realized until she was into it, things she never knew she’d need to know. I read this while laying my toddler down for a nap and had to stifle my laughter several times, hope you enjoy!
I am a mother of 4, my youngest just weaned on her third birthday a few months ago. I am fortunate to have breastfed all four for more than a year each. I worked full time as a nurse, and pumped like mad at work so my hubby could give the babies my “sweet nectar of life.” And I’m so glad I did. Should I need one of their kidneys someday, I can remind them how I gave of myself, from my own body, so it’s only fair that they return the favor. (Bonus of having lots of kids–multiple spare kidneys!) I’m going to share a few things about breastfeeding that no one told me- I hope you enjoy!
- When baby pulls off the breast while nursing (because she got distracted or whatever) your milk can squirt out several feet, like a spray bottle. Completely took me by surprise when it first happened.
- Milk can let down and pour out like crazy while you’re having sex. Seriously. SO SEXY
- I’m convinced that having mastitis could be more torturous than . If we could only induce it in terrorists, we’d totally have Bin Laden in custody.
- Peculiar compliments from my midwife and lactation chick like, “You have great nipples!” Just kind of odd, really.
- Nurses as a whole are curiously uneducated about breastfeeding, as evidenced by questions like “Do you feel really weak after you pump?”
- When getting my newborns to latch on, I basically had to smoosh the baby against the breast (sort of quick and forcefully), causing my husband to ask if I was trying to smother them.
So in addition to all the advantages research studies uncover about breasfeeding, you may have a few funny/odd anecdotes to share in the future! Happy breastfeeding, all!