Search Results for: bottle feeding

Bottle Feeding Breastfed Babies

 

by Tanya Lieberman, IBCLC, with Amy Peterson, IBCLC

We’re very pleased to share an interview about bottles and breastfed babies today. We asked Amy Peterson, IBCLC, co-author of Balancing Breast and Bottle: Reaching your Breastfeeding Goals, to answer our questions.

For those of you who combine bottles with breastfeeding – whether you’re pumping at work, supplementing, or use a bottle for occasional separations – bottle and nipple selection can be confusing. For those of you whose babies refuse bottles, it can be very frustrating!

We hope that the information she shares below is helpful. Amy offers more information on bottlefeeding breastfed babies on her website.

Many bottles are advertised as “easing the transition from breast to bottle” and back again. What do you think of these claims? Are they independently verified?

These claims are very misleading. Just as every mother’s breast has a unique shape and flow, every baby has a unique suck/swallow cycle. What works well for one baby might be terrible for another. Parents need to observe their own baby sucking on a bottle nipple and analyze if the latch and swallow look similar to that on the breast. In our book, we use a tool called the SIMPLE Method that guides parents step-by-step on how to choose a bottle nipple for their own baby’s unique latch.

We are not aware if such advertising claims have been verified. However, we do know that this type of marketing is in violation of the International Code of Breastmilk Substitutes. This international health policy document, adopted by many countries excluding the U.S., is designed to protect families from underhanded marketing ploys such as words or pictures idealizing artificial feeding. Comparing a bottle to breastfeeding—even if it contains breastmilk—is idealizing that brand.

In our professional experience of helping babies combine breast and bottle-feeding, we have found that the nipples which claim to be best for breastfed babies are often the worst choice. The bottle nipples that are best for breastfed babies have a gradual transition from tip to base.

You and your co-author tested 37 bottles. What were the features you were comparing, and what did you learn about the range of bottles that you’d most want parents of breastfed babies to know?

We tested two different aspects of bottle nipples. First, we measured dripping by looking at the number of drips and the size of each drip. Then we hooked up bottles to a hospital grade breast pump to determine how fast bottles flow. After performing these tests, we compared the results to see if bottle dripping and flow rate were related.

The results were surprising. First of all, about half of the nipples, regardless of a non-“no drip” label stopped dripping within five seconds of tipping them upside-down. That was important for us because many bottle companies claim their nipples are “no drip,” implying that bottles that don’t drip are a better choice. To rule out the importance of dripping, we did further testing.

Second, we measured the size of the drip for those bottles that did drip. The most important thing we found was dripping does not equal a higher amount of liquid. Bottles that appeared to drip a lot often had less volume. Frequently it is assumed that a fast dripping bottle has a large amount in the drip. We discovered that a bottle may drip frequently, but with a low output. So, it is impossible to judge the size of the drip with the naked eye. Stated another way, the number of drips doesn’t mean more liquid is coming out.

As for flow, the term “slow” is not standard. To determine flow, we hooked up bottles to a hospital grade breast pump and measured the amount of liquid collected after 20 cycles. We found there was a wide range of “slow.” For example, the fastest nipple was eleven times faster than the slowest nipple. Following testing, we ranked nipples from slowest to fastest in Appendix C of Balancing Breast and Bottle. This is important because if a nipple flows too quickly, a baby’s suck will become disorganized. Likewise, a nipple might be too slow for some babies. A parent needs to watch their baby’s response to bottle-feeding rather than relying on package labeling. If a parent thinks the bottle is flowing too fast, try a different nipple in the package, and/or try a different brand.

The most fascinating results came from comparing the data of these two tests (drip and flow). Dripping is different than flow; they are not related. Most breastfeeding books suggest turning a bottle over to see how fast it drips in an effort to select a bottle with a slow flow. This suggestion is not accurate. We tested a nipple that dripped an average of 56 times when tipped over, but had a slow flow. Then, we looked at a no-drip nipple and much to our surprise, found it flowed 10.6 times faster. Big difference! Dripping is not related to flow.

Parents are often advised to begin breastfed babies on “slow flow nipples,” but even nipples advertised as “slow flow” can seem very fast. Are there any that are as slow as you think is appropriate?

As mentioned earlier, the term “slow” is not standardized. Nonetheless, it is important to begin with a slow nipple. If a nipple flows too quickly, a baby’s suck will become disorganized. For breastfeeding babies, it is best to choose a flow that mimics mom’s flow. For this reason, it is hard to say one or two brands are “best” since flow varies from mother to mother. Likewise, a nipple might be too slow for some babies. This is why we ranked the bottles and listed them in our book.

It is also important to remember that flow is only one aspect of choosing a bottle. If the baby’s mouth placement is wrong, regardless of the flow, baby will bring bad habits to the breast and still be in danger of early weaning.

For parents who are struggling to get their breastfed babies to take bottles, and who are exploring different bottles, what should they be looking for?

Moms need to consider the nipple shape and their baby’s mouth placement on the nipple. Ideally, the nipple chosen will gradually flare from the nipple length to the nipple base. This shape allows the tip of the nipple to reach far back into the baby’s mouth as the breast does, and then helps the baby to feed with the mouth open. Quite often a “narrow neck” nipple has a shape that reaches far into the baby’s mouth and allows for gradual widening of the baby’s lips.

A shape that often does not work well is a wide neck nipple where the nipple length meets the nipple base at a right angle. This nipple shape promotes what we call “straw” sucking, where the baby’s mouth closes around the length of the nipple and doesn’t open for the base. When babies “straw” suck on a bottle nipple, we often see gaps in the corners of the baby’s mouth which leads to leaking milk, gulping air, etc. This is quite different than breastfeeding.

One bottle feeding method is called “paced feeding.” Can you describe it and explain why it might be helpful to a breastfed baby? What are some signs that a baby is becoming overwhelmed while bottle feeding?

Paced feeding refers to helping a baby eat more slowly from the bottle. Pacing became popular in 2002, before flow had been studied. The idea behind pacing is that by helping the baby rest briefly during bottle-feeding, moms can more closely mimic how the baby naturally feeds at the breast. When a baby breastfeeds, the mother has several let-downs during the feeding. Between let-downs, the baby’s sucking slows and baby can rest briefly. If a baby is feeding from a fast flow “slow flow” nipple, the suck/swallow will be disorganized. Pacing helps the baby have rest periods while bottle feeding that naturally occur at the breast. Now that we know flow can be controlled by choosing an appropriate nipple, we have another technique in our bag of tricks to help babies be more coordinated when feeding from a bottle.

It is important to note that most babies can pace themselves once they master bottle-feeding with the right nipple. How do you pace? First, listen for swallowing while the baby is breastfeeding, noting when the baby naturally pauses and rests. Then apply the same rhythm to bottle-feeding. Also of importance is positioning. With bottle-feeding, support the baby in a more upright position because the flow of some bottles increases when the baby is laying back to feed (another element we tested).

Do all breastfed babies require pacing? No, in fact, imposing pacing can disrupt the natural feeding rhythm of a baby and cause harm when over used. Babies who are “good” feeders, meaning they have a normal, rhythmic suck/burst cycle, do not need pacing. It has been our experience that once a baby has mastered bottle feeding, it is no longer necessary for the parent to impose pacing.

Some signs of a poor bottle-feed include gulping, catch-up breaths, fast feeds, leaking milk from the sides of the mouth or down the chin, baby who has a furrowed brow looking very concerned, and a baby who pulls away from the bottle. For these babies, nipple shape and flow need to be double checked, and this becomes a good time to use pacing. Pacing also is an excellent technique for NICU and other high risk babies that are having feeding difficulties.

Lastly, we would like every caregiver who uses a bottle to know that dripping bottles given before a baby begins sucking usually cause the baby to pull back or flat out refuse the bottle. Caregivers need to be sure the nipple is not dripping when the bottle is offered to the baby. Allow the bottle to stop dripping or keep the milk tipped down in the bottom of the bottle. This topic is further explored on our website.

 

 

 Tanya Lieberman is a lactation consultant (IBCLC) who has helped nursing moms  in hospital and pediatric settings.  She writes and produces podcasts for several  breastfeeding websites, including  Motherwear,  Motherlove Herbal Company, and  the Best for Babes Foundation.  Tanya recently authored Spanish for Breastfeeding Support, a guide to help lactation consultants support Spanish-  speaking moms.  Prior to becoming a lactation consultant she was senior  education policy staff to the California legislature and Governor, and served as a  UN civilian peacekeeper.  Tanya is passionate about supporting nursing moms, and especially to eliminating the barriers so many moms face in meeting their breastfeeding goals. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband, her 8 year old son and her 1 year old daughter.

 

Bottle-feeding Tips- A Bottle-feeding Overview for The Breastfeeding Family

by Amy Peterson

This post made possible by the support of EvenFlo Feeding

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Moms who breastfeed often feel afraid, or even sadness, at the thought of introducing a bottle. The truth is bottles are a tool, a useful tool, and they don’t need to be scary, even if you need to use a bottle in the early days because breastfeeding isn’t going well. If you think your baby is lazy, you need someone to evaluate what’s going on because it’s not laziness, it’s something we’re not recognizing. It is a sign of something else. In the meantime, pump your milk and feed your baby. The bottle can be a tool you use to protect your breastfeeding journey, not to end breastfeeding.   

It can feel overwhelming when it comes to picking a bottle for your breastfed baby. Many bottles claim to be “more like mom,” but that is a marketing gimmick. Babies are unique, and a bottle that works for one baby may not work for another, siblings included. Below are some tips that may help parents looking for a bottle for their breastfed baby.

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Think of how a baby latches on the breast. There are many ways to evaluate if breastfeeding is going well. As it relates to picking a bottle, we specifically observe the baby’s mouth. It should open widely, resting the lips on the areola. The lips will roll out (flange) and be visible, with the corners of the lips sealing against the breast. Your nipple will reach far into your baby’s mouth. This is what you want to mimic with a bottle latch.

There are three predominant nipple shapes: narrow, gradually sloped wide, and classic wide.  Any shape is okay so long as your baby has a similar latch on the bottle nipple as on the breast. The right nipple for your baby should a) reach deeply into your baby’s mouth, b) allow the lips to open and rest on a portion of the base, and c) allow the lips to form a complete seal.  On a narrow nipple, let your baby latch and then wiggle it in deeper into your baby’s mouth so the lips are almost “kissing” the collar. On a gradually sloped wide, again, wiggle the nipple in deeper, then observe to see if your baby’s mouth remains opened widely rather than slipping to the tip.  On a classic wide, make sure your baby’s lips can rest on a portion of the base and form a complete seal rather than sucking on the nipple length like a straw.  

You will probably want to buy two or three nipples to try. Rather than reading packaging claims, look at the nipple. Ask yourself, “Will this nipple reach deeply in my baby’s mouth so the lips can rest on the base? (yes) Will this nipple shape help hold my baby’s lips open? (yes) Does it look like my baby will suck on this like a straw? (no)” Try different shapes until you find the shape that allows for a good latch for your baby.          

Start with a slow flow nipple. However, it is important to note that there is no industry standard for “slow,” and flow rates vary greatly between brands. It is also important to note that dripping is different than flow. Bottles that are advertised as “no drip” may flow very fast compared with other bottles that do drip.  With any bottle, you can control dripping by letting your baby latch on to the bottle before tipping it up so milk fills the nipple. You can’t control flow, but you can try different brands to see how your baby responds, and you can tip the bottle down and let your baby rest if he looks overwhelmed when swallowing Balancing Breast and Bottle lists bottle brands from slowest to fastest flow.  

The million dollar question—which bottle nipple is best for my breastfed baby—has no absolute answer. It all comes down to how your baby latches and swallows with a specific nipple.

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Amy Peterson is a mom of 4, IBCLC, Early Intervention coordinator, and retired LLL Leader. She works alongside a speech-language pathologist, and together they co-authored Balancing Breast and Bottle: Reaching Your Breastfeeding Goals. They have also written a series of tear-of sheets available through Noodle Soup: Introducing a bottle to your full-term breastfed baby, Pumping for your breastfed baby, Pacifiers and the breastfed baby, and Bottle pacing for the young breastfed baby. Amy’s passion is helping others find fulfillment and confidence in parenting, regardless of feeding method. Visit Amy’s website at breastandbottlefeeding.com.

Ask the IBCLC Breastfeeding Help: Relactating, Back to Breast After Bottle, Once Low Supply Always Low Supply, and More

The Leakies with Shari Criso, MSN,RN, CNM, IBCLC

This post made possible by the support of EvenFlo Feeding

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We’ve asked Shari Criso to share her answers to Leakies questions about feeding their babies. If you have any questions you’d like to ask Shari, leave a comment!

 

Dear Shari,

I started breastfeeding my son when he was first born but we had a lot of difficulties and ended up switching to formula. He’s 2 months old now and I don’t think I have any breastmilk left but I’m really sad about stopping. Is there any way I can get him back on the breast and get my supply up for him? Is that possible or should I just accept that I screwed up?

Sad but hopeful

I am so sorry that you had so much difficulty.  This is unfortunately not uncommon and there are so many moms that face the same challenges having them stop breastfeeding way before they want to. You DID NOT screw up!  You did the best that you could with the information and support that you had.  This is not your fault although I know how disappointing it is. There are two questions you are asking here…One, is it possible after 2 months to get your baby back on the breast from the bottle, and two, can I increase my supply to go back to exclusive or partial breastfeeding?  The answer to both of these questions is YES…but it will take some work and the right support.  If you have been pumping and feeding your baby a combination of breast milk and formula, increasing your supply back up to exclusive breast milk is very doable.  It will require frequent pumping and/or feeding (possibly with a supplemental nursing system) and also supplements that can help to increase your supply.  If you have not been pumping at all, re-establishing your supply or “relactation” is possible but will also require work with pumping, feeding and supplements for you.  Getting your bottle fed baby back on the breast after 2 months is possible although not always.  I highly recommend that you seek out an experienced IBCLC that has worked with moms in this situation before and get the proper counseling and support.  This is not something to do on your own, as time is really of the essence if you want to have the best chance at success.  Lastly, there are lots of moms that exclusively pump and are still able to feed their babies breast milk even though they are not nursing at the breast.  Of course your baby will greatly benefit from this for as long as you are able to do it and for as much or as little as you are able to provide.  This is a third option to consider.

For those moms that are trying to make that final transition back to exclusive breastfeeding, here is a great video clip from my WebTV Show on “Weaning off formula back to exclusive breastfeeding” 

 

 

Dear Shari,

I was hoping you could tell me what could be causing me to feel nauseous when I nurse? It’s really bad at night, but always there when she nurses?! Is this normal? Will it go away? It is really putting a damper on breastfeeding because I feel sick every time.

Please help!

Feeling sick to my stomach

 

Hi…I know this feeling that you are describing since I had it myself when both of my babies nursed!  It is amazing how everyone feels different when they breastfeed.  Very often moms will have some sort of sensation or reaction to their milk letting-down.  It can feel different in different moms, and if you don’t feel anything it does not mean that you are not getting a let down…don’t go there!  This can be felt as nausea, which is usually caused by the hormones that are released when your baby begins to suckle.  Moms may feel something like nausea, slight dizziness, lightheaded, tingling,  etc… at the onset of the feeding and then it will subside as the baby continues to feed.  As I said this is not the same for everyone and it sounds like you may be feeling it the whole time. There is not much that you can really do about this since it is hormonal.  You may want to try a hard candy, closing your eyes and relaxing with the feeding, or maybe some fresh air or a fan, etc… Also, make sure that you are not hungry or that your blood sugar is not low, which will also cause you to feel nauseous, just as it can during pregnancy!  I wish that I had more to offer except that this is quite normal AND it may not last.  Your body (and your baby) is changing every day.  What you are experiencing one day may be completely different the next.  Hope it resolves and you can enjoy the experience a bit more.

Here is a video about relieving nausea (or morning sickness) in pregnancy…although the hormones that are causing it are different, the conversation about hypoglycemia may be helpful and especially for all the pregnant mamas out there. 

Q&A2_14JUN16

 

 

Dear Shari,

I am 12 weeks pregnant with my second babe. With my son I wasn’t able to breastfeed, my supply never came in. I tried oatmeal, mother’s milk tea, and lots of water. But nothing helped. I really want to breastfeed with this one. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions that could help this time around? Anything I can do beforehand to make sure my supply comes in?

Thank you so much for your help.

Concerned but hopeful in the midwest.

 

Hi…It is great that you are asking these questions NOW in preparation for your baby’s arrival.  Way too often, moms will wait until their baby is born to educate themselves or try to find the support that they need.  This can be difficult when you have just given birth, trying to breastfeed and care for a newborn!  To answer this question it is important to identify what actually happened last time, identify any underlying medical issues, and also be cautious in comparing one experience with the next.  So yes there are real situations that can cause your milk to not either be delayed in coming in, have a decrease in supply, or not come in at all.  You need to discuss this with your doctor or midwife (and also consult with an IBCLC) to make sure that underlying causes are identified and addressed if they exist such as a hypothyroid, or IGT for example.  Sometimes the birth itself can be a cause for a delayed or insufficient supply…large blood loss, retained placental fragments, etc…can cause this among other things. Lastly, it is important to remember that while it is very possible to have a real situation with insufficient milk supply, my experience is that MOST issues are either perceived or created from the concern and then the unnecessary supplementation.  It is SO important to understand that your milk will take days to come in, that the drops of colostrum that you are producing is all your baby will need, and that babies are not really supposed to eat large volumes of milk in the first few days and are supposed to lose weight!  This misinformation and misunderstanding, mostly in the medical community, is what creates fear and doubt for moms and causes unnecessary supplementation, decreased feedings at the breast, and can cause the exact issue you are trying to cure.  Most importantly, get the information you need and really understand what is happening and what is not.  Yes the teas and the supplements can be helpful, but without the knowledge it will not make much of a difference.  One of the best ways to prepare yourself for success is to watch my online breastfeeding class “Simply Breastfeeding” where I go over this discussion on milk supply in the first week as well as so much more!

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Shari Criso 2016

 

For over 23 years, Shari Criso has been a Registered Nurse, Certified Nurse Midwife, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, nationally recognized parenting educator, entrepreneur, and most importantly, loving wife and proud mother of two amazing breastfed daughters.

Nipple confusion, bottles, and alternative feeding options

On January 17, 2012 in the United States, Medela, best known for their pumps, launched their latest “feeding innovation”, the Calma.  The Calma is a bottle that seeks to eliminate nipple confusion and flow preference by making a bottle fed baby work for its milk, similar to how your little one must compress and suck at your breast to get milk out.  According to Medela, this “supports an easy transition from the breast to the teat and back.”

As a registered International board certified lactation consultant, I am very skeptical of these claims.

I have often heard that nipple confusion is a myth, foisted on mothers to keep them stuck to their brand new babies, to keep them from leaving the house, to subjugate us all.  This is simply not true.  Nipple confusion happens.  I have seen numerous cases of it in my practice.  Babies become nipple confused for three reasons – flow preference, difference in movements, and difference in feel.  Medela has the right idea on part of the equation.  Babies that are given a lot of bottles in the early period can decide that it’s not that fun to work a breast when this plastic thingy is way easier.  Most bottles, even the slowest flowing, flow faster than milk from a breast.  However, your baby also moves their mouth differently to get the milk from a bottle than from a breast.  The jaw and tongue movements are not even close to the same, and trying to transfer the movements from one to another can frustrate and upset your baby.  After all, if your baby is new, this whole eating thing is new, too.  Why complicate it?  There’s a bonus too: a baby nursing at the breast will develop their mouth in a way that will help with prettier smiles and better speech, too!

The third part of the equation is the different feel.  If you are giving your baby a softer breast and a harder silicone, they may very well like the way that a bottle feels more – especially since that silicone is, again, delivering milk faster and the mouth movements are different.   Medela hasn’t really done anything to cure that.  I’ve seen and felt the Calma, and, I assure you, it will not be mistaken for breast tissue anytime soon.

The easiest way to prevent nipple confusion is by waiting to introduce a bottle until four to six weeks (three to four at the earliest) and to simply offer the breast more than the bottle.  Some families have other situations, though, that don’t make the whole four to six week thing possible.  So what is a modern mom to do?  For many of us, it is not feasible to never give milk from anywhere but the breast.  We have work, and school, and other children, and obligations, and, man, sometimes Mommy just needs a day (or an hour or two) off.   But babies still have to eat during that time!  And what if your baby has issues with latching at the breast, or you are inducing a supply, or you need to do some supplementing?

Luckily, being a modern mom means that we have some awesome options available to us.  There is spoon feeding, where you can hand express colostrum or milk directly into a spoon and give it to your baby.  This works best in the beginning, when your baby isn’t taking in much milk yet – it would be a fairly long process for a family feeding an older infant.  To spoon feed, you simply use a clean spoon, hold the baby in an upright position (like sitting) and put the spoon at the lower lip, giving small amounts and letting the baby go at their own pace.  A spoonful can be considered a full feeding if you are dealing with a newborn.

Cup feeding is another option.  Cups are widely available, cheap, and easy to use.  Your infant won’t take the cup from your hands and drink like a big kid, of course, but will instead lap at the milk kind of like a baby animal might.  There are special cups sold for cup feeding, but it might be easier and cheaper to just use a shot glass.  With cup feeding, like spoon feeding, you’ll hold the baby supported and upright.  You’ll put the cup to the lips and tilt slightly so that the baby can easily lap at the milk (not so it’s pouring into his or her mouth.)  Allow the baby to eat at his or her own pace.  It may take a while, but that is ok!  Babies shouldn’t be gulping down their feeds – when they do, they often overeat, which can hurt their tummies and set a bad precedence of wanting more than they need.

You can also use what’s called a supplemental nursing system, or SNS.  SNSs are generally a bottle type thing hooked to a long tube.  You put the milk in the bottle part, and then you can do one of two things with the tube.  First, you can use it on the breast, either by sticking it in a nipple shield (which you should only use if followed by a lactation consultant for sizing and to negate any potential complications that might arise) or by taping the end near the nipple so that the baby gets an extra boost of liquid while nursing.  This can be really helpful if you’re relactating or increasing a milk supply, if your baby needs to be supplemented but is nursing well, or if you have a preemie or baby with suck issues that maybe doesn’t milk the breast as effectively as they should be.  You can also use a SNS to finger feed your baby.  With that, you attach the tube to your finger, and the baby sucks the finger to get the milk.  A lactation consultant can even help you use this method to train or retrain your baby to suck properly.  SNS systems can be hard to clean, so please carefully read the instructions and check with a health care provider for any extra precautions you should take if you have a preemie or immune compromised baby.

If you have an older baby (4 months or so) that’s just now getting around to taking milk in another way, you can try forgoing bottles altogether and working on cup training or using sippy cups.  Sometimes the difference is interesting enough for an older baby who has rejected bottles.  As with any of the other methods, the goal is to allow your baby to learn and go at their own pace.  Be prepared for this to be a messier endeavor with an older baby who is starting to show some independence.  You will probably have to help them to hold and tilt the cup – they may not be content with the idea of you holding it all yourself, and you may have some spills in the process.

But what if none of these methods work for you?  Maybe your care provider is balking, or you are annoyed and uncomfortable with one or all of the methods, and you really, really just want to use a bottle.  In that case, instead of purchasing the reportedly $15 a piece Calma, I would try Fleur at Nurtured Child’s method of baby-led bottlefeeding.  In fact, any time you are bottlefeeding, you should use this method.  It is the ideal way to feed a baby from a bottle and encourage any care-takers that will be feeding your baby with a bottle to utilize this method as well.  In choosing a bottle, there is no really good evidence that I have seen showing that a certain bottle or nipple is better than another for breastfeeding.  There are a lot of nipples that are supposed to be similar to your breast in look and feel, but in my time in the bottle aisle, I never saw any that made me go, “That looks EXACTLY like my boob.  That one, right there, with the wide base and medium sized nipple!!”  My kids never really liked the wide bottomed nipples, although they are often touted as being awesome for breastfeeding babies.  When it all boils down to it, most of that is hype.  When selecting a bottle, select the one you think might work that is in your budget.

If you are giving milk due to a breastfeeding problem, be sure to discuss methods and supplements with a medical professional with good lactation training.  Ask a lot of questions.  If supplements are ordered, get a LOT of information on them.  Why do you need to supplement?  How long does your medical professional want you to supplement?  How much should you supplement?  How often should you supplement?  Can you use your own expressed breast milk?  What is the plan of action for weaning from supplementing?  If your baby isn’t nursing well at the breast, you will likely need to do some pumping along with the supplementing to keep your supply healthy while you work through the problem.  Find out how often you need to pump and how you should store your breastmilk – especially if your baby is hospitalized and you are transporting it.

There are other feeding options for more serious problems, such as cleft lip/palate as well. That type of situation needs to be followed very closely by a lactation professional and physician to ensure that the baby’s unique situation is being addressed.

If you are going to be separated from your baby for another reason – work, school, or just going out – remember to think of your magic number.  This is the number of times your baby breastfeeds in a normal day (and, yes, that can vary.  Just take an average.)  You want to be sure that you are replicating that amount of times by a combination of pumping and nursing.  This will help to keep your milk supply plentiful.

In the end, there is no product on the market that can magically be just like your breast and provide your baby the exact same experience.  Luckily, there are many options for your baby and your family that will help you to achieve your breastfeeding goals.

 

 
 Star Rodriguiz, IBCLC, is a breastfeeding peer counselor for a WIC in the Midwest and has just started her private practice as an IBCLC (her Facebook page is here, go “like” for great support).  She also sits on the  breastfeeding task force in her town, is helping her  community’s Early Head Start redefine  their breastfeeding support, and is the  driving force behind a local breastfeeding campaign.  In  the remainder of her free  time, she chases around her nursling and preschooler.

The Leaky Boob Nourish 2022: An Infant and Toddler Feeding Summit

The Leaky Boob Nourish Summit 2022

 

Nourish 2022

Infant and Toddler Feeding Summit

presented by

  

 

The Leaky Boob Nourish Infant and Toddler Feeding Summit is a free event in 5 sessions supporting families in their infant and toddler feeding journeys.

Featuring live webinar sessions on topics related to infant and toddler feeding, Q&A’s with experts, and giveaways, Nourish meets parents and caregivers where they are with information they need to make the informed decisions necessary for reaching their baby and toddler feeding goals. The underlying theme for Nourish 2022 is “what I wish I had known” and a look at some of the aspects of infant and toddler feeding that are often neglected or ignored in typical conversations and education about infant and toddler feeding.

Nourish presenters included hospital and private practice clinicians and educators recognized for their leadership in understanding some of the more complex social-emotional and physical feeding challenges facing parents today. With practical action steps families can implement immediately, Nourish 2022 presenters share evidence based information and give parents the tools they need to feed their children with loving confidence.

Each session was recorded live and is available to view or listen to as a video on demand.

Nourish 2022 Sessions

The Leaky Boob Nourish Infant and Toddler Feeding Summit is presented by Naturepedic Organic Mattresses with sessions sponsored by the following brands:

Lily Jade Diaper Bags (Discount code: TLB10 for 10% off purchases over $125)
Ready Rocker (Discount code: TLB30 for 30% off entire site)
ezpz (Discount code: LeakyBoob10 for 10% off)
Amara Foods (Discount code: TLB15 for 15% off)
Belabumbum (Discount code: Leaky15 for 15% off)
Milkies milk savers and storage trays (Discount code: LeakyBoob15 for 15% off your entire purchase)
MiaMily (Discount code: TLBAIR20 for $20 off the HIPSTER Air – through August 18th only)
Bamboobies

The Grand Giveaway for the summit totals over $2,300 and is active through August 31st, 2022! Click here to enter. 

The following brands and products are included in the Grand Giveaway:

Naturepedic– Certified Organic Pillow and Protector Set – Retail Value of $307



Ready Rocker– Portable rocker to turn anywhere into a soothing rocker! Retail value: $149.99 – 5 winners

Amara– $100 shop credit.

 

Bamboobies hands-free pumping and nursing bra, $35 value – 5 winners

 

Belabumbum– $100 gift certificate (Enora nursing bra and matching panties pictured)

 

ezpzFirst Foods Sets in Sage at a retail value of $37.49 – 3 winners

Lily Jade

Caroline in Old English Leather, super lux leather with faux leather options. incredibly comfortable and totally packable. Retail Value: $380

MiaMily– HIPSTER Air Baby Carrier, Retail Value: $159

Milkies– 1 Milk-Saver & Milk Tray, Retail value: $47.90.

 

Boba A Boba wrap and Boba X carrier bundle. Retail Value of $200
Use code BOBABABY15 for 15% off all products

Fat Brain Toy Co Nigi-Nagi-Nogi By Moluk, Retail Value: $16.95 – 5 winners
Use code GG-3836 for 10% off 1 item

Night Weaning Gently Workshop- One Night Weaning Gently Workshop registration. Retail value: $295

Weaning Gently Workshop– One Weaning Gently Workshop registration. Retail value: $325

 

Martin-Weber Relationship and Family Coaching- 1 Free Consult and 2 Free Relationship or parenting coaching sessions with Martin-Weber Coaching. Value $350

 

What you need to know about breastfeeding and postpartum contractions

by Jessica Martin-Weber

Naturepedic

This post made possible by Naturepedic Organic Mattresses for the whole family
Use the code “TLB15” for 15% off your cart at naturepedic.com.

Lactation can save your life, help heal your body, and be good for your uterus.

This is all true.

We talk a lot about how great breastfeeding can be for baby, but did you know it can be great for your uterus too? What your uterus wishes you knew about lactation:

It can save your life.

Potentially in more ways than one. But what really makes your uterus happy is that putting your brand new baby to suckle at your breast stimulates the release of oxytocin in your brain which helps your uterus to clamp down. These postpartum contractions are often called afterbirth pains. That initial latch of your wee babe strengthens the natural contractions and if you haven’t already, helps you expel the placenta and make sure you don’t bleed to death. It can help prevent a postpartum hemorrhage. But don’t worry if your baby doesn’t want to feed right after birth (give them a break, it was an eventful occasion, being born), this continues to work for as long as it takes for your uterus to reduce to it’s normal non-gestating size.

The uterus returning to it’s not-currently-gestating size gives room to the organs that have been squished, making it easier to breathe, eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom. It also means less pressure on the pelvic floor organs and tissue. This is an important stage of early healing. Often afterbirth contractions are more intense and painful with subsequent babies but it still does the job. Hate it all you want but it is way better than hemorrhaging and it’s the body’s perfect way to make sure you’re safe and around for a long time.

Every time you put your brand new baby to your breast, even if it doesn’t last long, and you endure a wave of contractions you may curse, swear, stomp your foot, breathe through clenched teeth hissing at your partner that next time they’re having the baby but those painful afterbirth contractions that your nursing babe brings on are important as they cut off the supply of blood to where the placenta had been allowing for healing and recovery to take place. Some don’t experience these contractions as much more than some mild cramping, others find them worse than labor itself. There’s a wide range of experiences, don’t be alarmed if you find that your own varies from that of others. 

Along with signaling to the uterus it’s time to shrink back down, breastfeeding can help you rest. For many that have just had a baby, life just doesn’t let them have the time they need to really heal and that open wound in their uterus doesn’t get the rest it needs which can lead to mom becoming anemic, fatigued, sore, and taking longer to heal. While there’s always a lot to do, breastfeeding can help busy moms take a load off in those early weeks with a hungry baby forcing them to sit and be still long enough to work on a good latch and fill up that little tummy. Taking time to have skin to skin fosters the breastfeeding relationship and can reduce their healing time, leading to sustainable recovery. And because it can help reduce postpartum bleeding and menstrual bleeding both in volume and length of time, some will experience a natural rise in iron levels which will be a real energy boost.

 

Fertility can be delayed with lactation. With my last baby, my 8th full term pregnancy, I got a break from my period until 21 months postpartum. Including pregnancy, that was more than 30 months off and no ovulation. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t miss it one single bit. This isn’t a guarantee but the majority of people experience a delay in the return of their fertility after giving birth if they exclusively breastfeed/chestfeed (meaning no supplementation). When baby is fed only with nursing, the body suppresses fertility to focus on continuing to grow this little person. This would mean no period sometimes until full weaning happens though any time solid foods, supplementation, or artificial nipples are introduced it’s possible their cycle will return. Sometimes that can be thrown off, usually if artificial nipples are used (yeah, even with bottles of their own pumped milk) but sometimes even if there is only ever exclusively nursing the cycle may return early in the postpartum period. But for those that experience suppressed fertility due to breastfeeding, it can be a nice break from their regular menstrual cycle. Because there are no guarantees though, unless you are hoping to get pregnant again shortly after having your baby, some kind of birth control measures would be wise.

Lactation can help with endometriosis and may help reduce cancer risks. Because it is common for the menstrual cycle to be delayed by lactation, those that have endometriosis may experience a stabilization of the progression of their condition which may lead to some relief. This won’t necessarily cure the condition but some do find it is no longer an issue. Causation or correlation, studies show that women that breastfeed have lower incidence of developing uterine, endometrial or ovarian cancer. 

Nursing is no magic bullet that will save you, you may lactate and still get cancer, you may nurse and still experience a retained placenta or postpartum hemorrhage, you may bodyfeed and struggle with endometriosis or have your fertility return right away. But hey, a chance that you could get a break and make your uterus happy? If you can, it could be a chance worth taking.

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If this resource was helpful for you, consider helping The Leaky Boob by giving back. Help us keep our information, support, and resources free by becoming a patron and get access to exclusive content just for our supporters. Join here today.

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Drawing from a diverse background in the performing arts and midwifery, Jessica Martin-Weber supports women and families, creating spaces for open dialogue. Writer and speaker, Jessica is the creator of TheLeakyBoob.com, co-creator of wereallhumanhere.com, freelance writer, and co-founder of Milk: An Infant Feeding Conference. Jessica lives with her family in the Pacific Northwest and co-parents her 7 daughters with her husband of 23 years.

Breastfeeding baby to sleep, bad habit or ok?

by Jessica Martin-WeberNaturepedic
this post made possible by Naturepedic Organic Mattresses for the whole family
Use the code “TLB15” for 15% off your cart at naturepedic.com. 

Fan Question: My baby keeps falling asleep while breastfeeding, am I making a bad habit?

You bring your tiny new human being to your chest and after a little awkward fumbling they are successfully latched as you marvel at their tiny perfection and they suck, drinking deeply of your milk. They settle into a steady rhythm and you feel them relax more fully into you, a relaxation that in 5-10 minutes is fully heavy sleepiness. By the time they’ve drained your breast your baby’s eyelids are closed, their arms and hands floppy, their lips and jaw slack, and a dribble of milk rolls down their cheek as they breathe deeply in sleep. 

Warm, soft, snuggled sleep.

Eight months later, the scene isn’t much different, they’re just longer and rounder. Ten months after that the routine continues. Maybe not every feed but often and maybe it is the only way they go down for a nap or bedtime.

For many little ones boob = sleep.

This may worry some as they hear from others that breastfeeding their baby to sleep is creating a bad habit, alarm that their child will never be able to sleep on their own if they do this, and dire warnings that the milk will damage the child’s teeth. On The Leaky Boob we frequently hear from those wondering if breastfeeding their baby to sleep is a bad thing, fears that this experience that happens so frequently for so many will doom them and their child.

I have good news!

According to pediatrician Dr. Arthur Lavin and coauthor of Baby and Toddler Sleep Solutions For Dummies, breastfeeding your little one asleep is totally fine. 

In a live interview I had with Dr. Lavin on The Leaky Boob Facebook Page (view here), he explained that there’s no concern with breastfeeding your nursling to sleep and it is actually quite normal that breastfeeding would lead to sleep. In fact, it’s a part of how the brain works! The portion of the brain that regulates feeding is closely related to regulating sleep and wakefulness and releases a hormone called orexin which is why we feel sleep when we have full tummies even as adults. This starts from birth. Breastfeeding also releases oxytocin and dopamine in the brain which makes everyone involved feel sleepy. These hormones are a part of helping milk flow and contribute to bonding by making us relaxed, happy, and safe. It all combines to be a drowsy inducing cocktail of snuggles and feeding. What better way for baby to fall asleep?

For a newborn it just makes sense. Breastfeeding to sleep feels safe and the scent of the breasts and breastmilk is familiar, comforting, and warm. Being skin to skin is soothing and babies are programmed to want to be there, close and protected. Their food, safety, and everything they know is there. Cradled to your chest they can fill their tummy, get that relaxing hormone release, smell home, and be lulled to sleep to the sound of your heartbeat just like before they were born.

Breastfeeding your baby back to sleep at night helps protect your breastmilk supply while meeting their demanding nutritional needs. A baby’s growth rate for the first 4 months of their life is faster than it will ever be again (even teen boys don’t grow as fast!) and feeding frequently through the night not only ensures an adequate milk supply as it coincides with the time of day that the milk-making hormone prolactin is highest in the lactating parent’s brain, these feedings also provide a steady supply of calories for this rapid growth phase. Night-time feeds can be protective of breastmilk supply with higher prolactin levels at night and may make up to 20% of a baby’s total milk intake. Feeding to sleep is part of their growth strategy! (See this study for more info.)

Breastfeeding to sleep may continue long after birth as well, particularly around certain times of day as melatonin levels in breastmilk are higher in the evening and through the night. It’s no surprise that a year or even two years later your little one falls asleep best while at the breast. This may even contribute to a regular sleep rhythm for your child. (Read about melatonin in breastmilk here.)

But is it a bad habit?

According to Dr. Lavin, no. In our interview Dr. Lavin explained that just as adults can establish new sleep habits, so can babies and young children. If, at some point, breastfeeding to sleep isn’t working for you and your child, you can change it. Particularly with an older baby or toddler. If you want to night wean gently, check out our night weaning readiness checklist here.

So it’s totally natural to breastfeed your baby to sleep and it isn’t a bad habit but… what about their teeth? We’ve all heard of bottle-rot, won’t falling asleep with breastmilk be bad for their teeth?

Human milk isn’t going to cause human teeth to decay. Dr. Lavin shared with us that genetics and socio-economics have more of an impact on the development of cavities than breastfeeding to sleep. That doesn’t mean there’s no risk, it just means that the risk is pretty low and wiping or brushing the teeth after your child eats solid food or drinks anything other than breastmilk or water is adequate protection for your child’s teeth. It isn’t necessary to clean teeth after breastfeeding at night (don’t wake the baby!) if there has only been breastmilk or water since the teeth were last cleaned.

As always, it is important to practice safe sleep whether or not you are breastfeeding your baby to sleep. The AAP recommends that babies under 12 months should sleep alone on their back in a dedicated sleep space in the parent’s room, free of blankets, pillows, toys, and crib bumpers. While the AAP recommends against bedsharing it is better to prepare to practice safe bedsharing if there is a chance you will fall asleep with your baby rather than to accidentally sleep with your baby in an unsafe manner (i.e. falling asleep with baby in a chair, on the couch, in a recliner, etc.).

Breastfeeding your baby to sleep is a completely normal reality, particularly in the first few months. If at some point you desire to change that and establish different sleep habits, you can. No need to worry that it is a bad habit you’ll be stuck with or is causing problems later on down the road. If it is working for you and your baby, it’s not a problem at all. Happy breastfeeding and sweet dreams!

Breastfeeding isn’t history, it’s a current affair- Breastfeeding Week and Month 2019 Giveaway!

It’s World Breastfeeding Week 2019 and somehow we’re still talking about breastfeeding in public like it is 1819.

Except in 1819 and even 1918, it wouldn’t have been an issue, nobody would think of harassing someone for feeding their baby. Have we gone backwards?

That’s why today we need this week for everyone who breastfeeds currently, ever has breastfed, wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t, never breastfed, and never will breastfeed.

It’s that time of year when breastfeeding awareness increases worldwide. Celebrating the highs, the lows, World Breastfeeding Week and National Breastfeeding month educates and connects others with the journey. The struggles, the benefits, the cultural influences, the challenges, and more, are a part of the conversation surrounding breastfeeding – all with the desire to normalize breastfeeding (again) through information and community support.

Basically what The Leaky Boob community does, and has been doing for 9 years now, every single day.

Because we’re not going backwards.

For TLB, every week is Breastfeeding Week, every month is  Breastfeeding Month. The rest of the world says that the month of August has a special focus on breastfeeding? Well sign TLB up! We’ve got a lot to say. We’ll be talking about what I wish I had known about breastfeeding a newborn, what’s normal with breastfeeding and when to ask for help, what we wish we had known about pumping, getting more milk with your pump, breastfeeding in public, common breastfeeding challenges, supplementing, and weaning.

This year, a number of brands are coming alongside The Leaky Boob to help celebrate National Breastfeeding Month. They want you to know that they, too, believe in the importance of a national, no, a worldwide, conversation about infant feeding, and they want to support you as you figure out what’s best for your baby. Support without judgment. Products designed for you. These are amazing brands.

A number of them are sponsoring livestreams on TLB Facebook this month, so be on the lookout for them. And they are all participating in a group giveaway. So far, we’re looking at 8 winners, but we expect that number to grow as we go along.

For now, here they are, and find your way to enter the giveaway at the end of this post:

A huge thanks to Latched Mama, Kindred BravelyJuJuBe, Belli Skin Care, Bundle Organics, Fairhaven Health, LactaMedArdo, LittlebeamGlamourmom, and Motherlove, for their visible support of new moms.

 

Latched Mama
Mom Life Tote Bag is the best mom tote you can find on the market. 3 in 1 large tote just like your favorite weekender. Retail Value: $100

Shop at latchedmama.com and receive free product based on your spending amount, like Nursing Romper or Dress, a Tote Bag, and a silicone teething bracelet. More details here!

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kindred Bravely
The Sublime Hands Free Pumping and Nursing Bra, this all-in-one must-have piece for any postpartum mama combines the best features of your favorite nursing and hands-free pumping bras. AND the Kindred Bravely Simply Sublime Nursing Tank: ultra-soft and stretchy for a smooth silhouette of comfort for nursing women. Retail value: $95 together

Use code LEAKYBOOB at kindredbravely.com for 20% off your purchase

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JuJuBe
The stylish Be Supplied breast pump tote with the Be Equipped organizing set. Retail Value: $185

Use code TLB20 for 20% your purchases at jujube.com. Time to shop!

 

Belli Skin Care
Their entire line of pregnancy-safe skin care solutions. By sourcing high quality plant based ingredients that allow your body to process their products organically, Belli Skin Care is free of not only harmful chemicals, but artificial dyes, synthetic fragrances, parabens, gluten, phthalates, and preservatives too. Retail Value: $279

 

Bundle Organics
Healthy snacks, drink mixes, heartburn and nausea teas, all formulated for the pregnant parent. Certified organic and non-GMO, these snacks and beverages were made with functional, flavorful ingredients, and one woman in mind: you. Retail value: depends on the special bundle they prepare for you! 

Use code 10MILKBOOST for 10% off your Bundle Organics purchase on Amazon!

 

Fairhaven Health
Milkies Milk-Saver: to collect your leaking breast milk as you nurse
Milk Tray: to freeze breast milk in convenient 1-ounce sticks that fit in any bottle
Nursing Blend: all-natural daily multivitamin with breast milk stimulants fenugreek and fennel
Nursing Time Tea: with organic herbs to increase and improve overall breast milk supply
Nipple Balm: safe for mom and baby, to soothe, protect, and heal sore or cracked nipples
Softies Nursing Pads: designed by nursing moms for nursing moms, to stay dry and comfortable
Retail Value: $112

 

LactaMed
The Simplicity Hands-Free Pumping Bra Kit, and the LactaMom Pumping, Nursing & Maternity Tank. Hands-free pumping made simple. Retail Value: $53

Use code WBM2019 for 20% off their entire site

 

Ardo
The Calypso-To-Go is a Swiss-made, closed system breast pump that features: 64 settings, 3 power options (battery, AC adapter, car adapter), less than a pound, piston pump (gentler than membrane pump), 250mmHg (same as most pumps), insurance covered. It goes where you go! Retail Value: $300

 

Littlebeam
This breastfeeding pillow is pediatrician approved as the best uniquely supportive pillow for comfort, ease, and portability while breastfeeding. Designed by a Lactation Consultant. Retail Value: $40

 

Glamourmom
Winner’s choice of any Glamourmom Nursing Bra Tank or Top. Full structured nursing bras built into tanks and tops, with a variety of options to accommodate every body type. Retail Value: $59

Enjoy 15% off your purchase at glamourmom.com with code BAM15

 

Motherlove
Malunggay (moringa) 120 count supplement to boost milk supply in potent liquid capsule, and Nipple Cream to help ease sore nursing nipples – a great pump lubricant as well! Retail Value: $55

Use code LEAKYBOOB25 for 25% off on Motherlove.com

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Child Passenger Safety and Feeding On The Go- Answers From a CPST

by Jessica Martin-Weber with Allana Pinkerton, CPSI
This post made possible by the generous support of Diono.

September is child safety month and we’re taking a look at safety and what we talk about most around here at TLB: feeding our kiddos. Many of us find ourselves needing to feed on the go, from a snack in the car to an entire meal between one activity and the next. 

Allana Pinkerton, a child injury prevention specialist, CPST/CPSI, and mom of two answered our questions on The Leaky Boob Facebook page Live Stream on what we can do to minimize risk when it comes to feeding our children on the go. A huge thanks to Diono in making this conversation with Allana possible.

Whether your child is 3 months old or 3 years old or 13 years old, it is very likely there will come a time when meal or snack time happens on the road. It probably goes without saying that the safest option is to not eat in a moving vehicle. But we all live in the real world and can’t just stay in a bubble so sometimes that’s just not possible so we’re looking at what we can do to make the mobile mealtime as safe as possible. Below are the questions we asked Allana and the Leakies.

When it comes to feeding our children on the go, when we’re in a moving vehicle perhaps on a road trip or having to grab something quick between scheduling commitments, what is important to keep in mind?

*Please note: for safety and to reduce distractions, the driver should never eat and drive.

  • A seat that is more inclined is not a safe option to have a child eat food. Solids shouldn’t be fed in a laying down position.
  • Nothing too hot.
  • When possible, have someone keep an eye on a very young child when they are eating in a moving vehicle. Determine if a mirror is a safe or distracting option for you.
  • Pick foods that are easy to swallow.
  • Avoid choking hazards- for babies and toddlers, nothing hard or like grapes and popcorn.
  • Foods that dissolve easily will reduce choking hazards (i.e. puffs and yogurt melts, etc.)
  • Contained foods that aren’t as likely to spill and get car seat straps wet.
  • Keep in mind, if you’re always eating in the car it may be time to reevaluate how much we’re doing.

Is there anything in particular we should avoid when it comes to feeding our children on the go?

  • Hard candies, even lollipops (a sudden stop could result in injury and/or choking).
  • Foods you know will be messy.
  • Foods that may damaging to your child’s car seat (sticky drinks, dairy, etc.).

What do we need to keep in mind when it comes to installing children’s seats? How can parents find a local CPST to help them?

  • Read the manual. If you’re unclear about something, call the manufacturer. 
  • Have your seat checked by a CPST and be sure they watch you install it and check your install as well, not just have them install it for you. Find one here.
  • Do not use after market products with your seat that are not made by or approved by your seat’s manufacturer (i.e. strap pads) as they could compromise the safety of your seat.

Breastfeeding in the car seat moving vehicle child passenger safety

Are there any safety concerns related to these breastfeeding or bottle-feeding a child in their car seat in a moving vehicle?

  • Propping a bottle for a child not yet able to hold their own is dangerous in that the child may be overwhelmed with the contents of the bottle and has a higher risk of aspirating. Have someone give the baby their bottle and be able to pay attention to them as they feed.
  • Keep in mind a bottle would become a projectile in the case of an accident. Use as small a bottle as possible.
  • Breastfeeding a child in a seat, even if the breastfeeding parent isn’t leaning over the seat, is a significant hazard in the case of a car accident as it places something in front of the child’s face. Physics tell us that in a crash objects (including a breast) will weigh their weight times the force of gravity of the crash. For example, a 30mph crash is around 20-25 G’s (force of gravity). Let’s say the breastfeeding parent weighs 140 pounds. Multiplied by 23 G’s (right in the middle) means 3,220 pounds. That’s the total weight of their body with the momentum of the crash. Their chest alone will weigh at least 1,000 pounds, if not more. Being positioned in front of or possibly over the baby to breastfeed, that’s a minimum of 1,000 pounds being dropped or slammed into the baby. Potentially crushing the child and injuring the parent. This all would be true even with a seat belt on the breastfeeding parent as the parent would not be positioned properly with a chest belt to restrain them from hitting their child in the case of a collision or sudden stop. (See more on this here.)

Feeding on the go means seats will likely get soiled, what do we need to know about cleaning our seats?

  • Never hose a car seat down, that can compromise not just the cover and straps but also the frame and internal materials.
  • Follow your manual’s instructions. 
  • Replace straps if webbing becomes soaked.
  • See these cleaning tips.

 

Allana Pinkerton is the Global Safety Advocate for Diono. She began her career in Child Passenger Safety as a National Certified Child Passenger Safety Technician in 2001 and advanced into the position of a National Instructor in 2002. In 2004, she founded a non-profit organization, Sit Tight, which provided education and free car seats to underserve communities.
As the Global Safety Advocate, she facilitates educating the staff, consumers and the media about car seats. Allana works closely with the marketing team, educating at consumer and industry trade shows, as well as writing blogs on CPS issues. She is called upon to work with engineering and product development team on current and new products. As Diono expands across the globe, Allana continues to expand her role assisting the Diono European and China teams.
Allana has two children, Max (12) and Andrew (20) who is ironically a race car driver. She has been married to Paul for 22 years and he still cannot install a car seat.

Father of 6 Shares: Breastfeeding, Bonding, and the Non-Breastfeeding Parent

by Jeremy Martin-Weber

This post made possible by the support of EvenFlo Feeding

Brand-Ad_29APR16________________________

Six times now I have seen my babies experience the sweet bonding power of breastfeeding with their mother. Six times I have marveled at their connection. Six times, in spite of the struggles that accompany the breastfeeding journey, in spite of the pain, the latch issues, the horror of mastitis, the mystery of blebs, the touch fatigue that comes with nursing every couple hours, I have watched these nourishing moments of intimacy with a mix of appreciative awe, compassion for the struggle, and jealousy.

Even though I understand and accept the natural way of things, that women are equipped both with the ability to grow and nourish a baby inside their body and the ability to nourish that baby outside their body, and that men – how should I put this? – aren’t; even though I know this to be a fact of the human experience, I see the connection between them both before birth and after with a twinge of envy.

Especially with our first, I even wondered if I should just accept that my chance to bond with my baby would come… later. Probably months later. Hopefully no more than a year or two. It’s even harder when the baby obviously prefers their mother. We had one of those. I tried not to take it personally. I decided to be present and patiently wait for her to come around, and she did. Eventually.

We’ve all heard just how important it is for babies to bond with their mother, and we also hear how important it is for kids to have both parents involved in their lives as they grow up (for those who happen to have two parents). This implies that it’s essential for both parents to bond with their little ones. So how does the non-breastfeeding parent get started, especially when it seems that their babies only seem to need one parent: the one with the leaky boobs?

Because the breastfeeding parent naturally needs to spend more time with their baby than their non-breastfeeding partner (babies eat all day, after all), it can be very helpful for them to take deliberate steps to help the other parent connect with their baby. Even though it may be easier to just do everything yourself, and indeed, our culture still encourages moms to think that they should be able to do it all, so there is a level of responsibility and personal pride that comes along with not needing your partner to help at all (and guilt if you don’t do it all), that kind of attitude only serves to speed up your own burn-out and to hinder your partner from being an equal parent. It requires intention to share the responsibility of caring for a baby. Here are some ideas to get you started based on some of the helpful ways that Jessica encouraged me to bond with our babies:

  1. Invite your partner to join the snuggle.

I never wanted to intrude on the intimate moments when Jessica and our baby were cozied up on the couch, mouth to boob, staring into each other’s eyes. It was so magical, and I didn’t want to break the spell, or distract them from their moment. A simple invitation from the breastfeeding parent is enough to change it from an intimate moment with that parent and the baby to an intimate family moment. Your first family portrait etched into all 3 of your memories. You’ll be working on intentionally welcoming each other into all sorts of situations for years to come (like when you’re on the toilet, or when you thought you were going to have a private intimate moment with just your partner), so why not get started right away? I had heard enough about sacred motherhood and the importance of the baby bonding to its mother that I needed an invitation to be a part of it. Maybe your partner does too.

  1. Offer for your partner to burp the baby.

Inviting your partner to burp your baby after nursing is a great way to get them involved and give yourself a little break from the constant skin-to-skin contact from that cuddly hot water baby. Sure it may seem easier to do it yourself since you’re right there but if you share the experience you might have a chance to get up to pee, or just to stand up and stretch. And if your baby can’t go without that skin-to-skin, invite your partner to lose a layer or two. For your partner, burping their baby is an opportunity to unlock that natural baby-holding sway. Pretty soon they’ll be practically dancing (it happened to me, and I’m not much of a dancer). And you can enjoy the sight of them bonding together.

  1. Share the other baby care responsibilities with your partner.

Once you’ve shared the responsibility of burping the baby, you’re ready to encourage your partner to take on other baby related tasks, like bathing them, dressing them, and cleaning that umbilical cord. Of course, there’s no reason for the 3 of you not to share those special moments together too.

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  1. Share the secret of diaper changing fun.

In many ways, diaper changes represent the last stand of traditional parenting roles. Guys willing to do all sorts of things for their wives and children still draw the line at diaper changes. What those dads miss entirely is that changing a diaper doesn’t have to be about changing the diaper at all. It’s a necessary task that provides the opportunity for special parent-baby time. Most anything can be turned into a game, and any event can be a bonding moment if that is the intent. Diaper changes can either be a disgusting obligation, or play time with your baby! Pee and poop, or fun and games. It’s time to let your partner in on the secret. You may have to model it like Jessica did for me. But once I understood it, I was hooked on diaper changing fun.

  1. Encourage your partner to hang out with their baby  

There is definitely something special about mother & baby time. But the part I used to downplay in my mind is that there is also something very special about babies connecting with their other parent. Encourage your partner often to hold your baby, their baby: to babywear, to cuddle, to take a nap together, to hang out in the rocking chair, etc. Bonding happens through time spent together. Your partner needs some of that time too!

  1. Spend a little quality time with your pump

This isn’t a necessary one and it is totally possible for bonding to happen without any participation in baby feeding- until introducing solids, invite your partner in on that fun for sure! But if you’re going to be pumping anyway to return to work or to have the occasional bottle for you to go out, this could be one way to give your non-breastfeeding partner the chance to participate. I loved every opportunity I was provided to give our babies a bottle, and, for my partner who gets overstimulated by touch very easily, sometimes it was just to provide her a break from all that physical contact that could get a bit overwhelming. You determine how often it will work for you – whatever the frequency, it’s such a special opportunity for your partner to connect with your baby.

  1. Ask for help and then back off

Sometimes our greatest enemy is ourselves. This is so true when one partner claims ownership of certain responsibilities. Our natural tendency is to want to make sure that the job is executed up to our standards, even when we “allow” others to do it for us. We want to control the outcome. We micromanage. We say too much. We follow too closely. We watch incessantly. We are ready to jump in (or take over) at the first hint of hesitation. And we get stressed out, anxious, and even angry, when things don’t run  by our definition of “smoothly”. This approach to letting your partner help does the exact opposite of building up their confidence. It may discourage them from even trying to be involved. And you may end up resenting an uninvolved partner that you had a role in creating. For your partner to really bond with your baby (and by “your” I mean theirs and yours), you have to really want your partner to be involved. That means you have to get out of the way. They may not do things exactly like you do, and that’s ok. Give them space, provide information when necessary, trust that they have their own parenting instincts, that they will ask you when they can’t figure things out, and that they will find their own parenting groove.

  1. Enjoy the view and tell your partner about it

Jessica has told me through the years that she loves seeing me with our kids. She loves it when they’re babies, and continues to love it as they get older, all the way up to high school! She says that the way I interact with our kids makes her love me even more. Somehow me bonding with our children brings us closer together as a couple. And it’s sexy. Not that my interactions with my children are sexy, but that she thinks I’m sexy when I connect with our children. And hearing her say how much she appreciates the view, I mean, my efforts, boosts my confidence and encourages me to keep at it.

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Jeremy Martin-Weber is the proud father of 6 inspiring girls, and is 20 years into a love story with his partner, Jessica Martin-Weber.