7 Risks To Feeding Your Child- You’re Screwed No Matter What

by Jessica Martin-Weber

 

risks to feeding children

You have a kid?  Congrats!  What should you feed them?  Trying to decide?  Weighing all your options and carefully assessing the risks?  Great!  You should do that.  Also, you’re screwed no matter what you do.  In 15 years of parenting 6 kids, having both breastfed and formula fed, and gone through phases in nutrition standards (yeah, there was a period with lots of Hamburger Helper and soda pop at each dinner and then a period of only organic, homemade, but most of the time somewhere in the middle), I have found that the “right” way was not only subjective but also highly circumstantial.

That there are some actual risks associated with formula feeding and breastfeeding is undeniable, if heavily debated.  Risks such as possible lowered natural immunity and increased chance of ear infections with formula feeding or risks of mastitis and dietary sensitivities with breastfeeding.  Nothing in life comes without risks.  Yep, you’re facing being screwed or screwing up your kids no matter what you do!  As parents all we can do is try our best to mitigate the risks our children face without putting them in a bubble.  There’s risk to that too, what with BPA concerns, the possible damper on social skills development, and the need for oxygenMay as well let them live in the big bad scary world.  Carefully weighing all the possible options, doing personal research, and making the best informed decisions we can according to our personal circumstances and resources means we have to learn to live with some risks.  Regardless of how you feed your child, there are risks you face no matter how carefully you studied, planned, and executed your decision.  Be it breastmilk straight from the tap, pumped breastmilk, donor milk, or formula and then eventually, before you know it, store bought baby food (organic or not), homemade baby food (organic or not), or baby-led solids, followed by McDonald’s Happy Meals, Whole Foods shopping carts, homemade, or homegrown; there are a few unavoidable risks to feeding your child.

  1. There will likely be times you question yourself.  Is this really necessary?  Am I doing it right?  Am I doing it wrong?  Am I stressing out about nothing?  Have I ruined my child for life?  Has my child ruined me for life?  The answer to all these and more is: probably.
  2. There is little doubt that new information will come out that you have, in fact, made the wrong choice.  Those organic apples weren’t actually organic, breastmilk can have toxins in it (have you had yours tested?!), formula used an unnecessary ingredient now deemed dangerous and cancer causing, the baby food company didn’t list all the ingredients they actually used, artificial colors not only suck the actually cause two horns and a tail to grow on some kids… whatever it is, there will be something that’s bad about the choice you made.
  3. Your child will grow to like junk food.  Like moths to the flame, little kids love toxic laden junk food, the more carcinogens the better.  Try as you might, they will discover the joys of foods you’d rather they not consume thanks to a grandparent, a little friend, a mother more lazy and uninformed than you (admit it, you have been judging her and she knew it), or more likely, daddy. And they will, at some point in time, eat something disgusting off the ground or the floor of your minivan.  They will also pick their nose and eat it.  They will lick something that will make you gag.  No matter what you do to cultivate their palate to make discriminating food choices, they will be drawn to the junk and you will wonder if it ever even mattered.
  4. The growth chart will scare you.  Too big, too little, too average, whatever it is, you’ll probably have at least one appointment with your child’s doctor that will make you concerned about your child’s growth pattern.  Because if there’s anything that can be truly charted, it’s that kids are predictably unpredictable.
  5. Statistics aren’t guarantees.  All the scary stuff that isn’t supposed to happen/is supposed to happen based on how you’re feeding your child doesn’t come true.  The proverbial “they” said if you feed your child “this” way they won’t get sick, or that’s what you understood anyway, and yet you’re wiping green snot off your child’s face every day for months.  And someone is bound to point this out to you, trumpeting how their kid is never sick.  Immune systems can be such ignorant traitors clueless on the what all those studies say.
  6. You will be judged.  Pull out a breast or bottle to feed your baby and watch the judgment fly.  Too long, too brief, too-not-what-they-did.  Bad mom, exhibitionist, endangering your child, endangering other people’s children (their poor eyes may see the choice you’ve made and confuse them!), pouring toxins into your child, doing that in public, you name it, judgment will come from all directions no matter what you do.
  7. You can make yourself crazy.  Trying to do it perfectly right could be exactly what drives you over the edge of sanity.  A very real risk.

And if you think it’s bad when they’re infants, just wait until your child is begging for cheetos and refusing the organic avocado and kale chips at playdates.  No matter how you feed your children as infants, they will someday inevitably grow into toddlers eating their own boogers (and sometimes those of others), tasting dirt on the playground, sucking a sucker they found on the floor of the public bathroom, and licking the railing at a public park.  The good news is, most of the time they really are going to be just fine even though.

Breast or bottle debate humor

Which is why it’s a good thing we don’t feed our children for others.  Good luck!  Whatever you do, there are risks.  This is just one aspect of parenting, have confidence, there are even bigger risk you face in this journey.  Go on, feed your kids, take a deep breath, and take the risks as they come.  You’ve got this.

Every day is breastfeeding day

World Breastfeeding Month/Week is great, a time to raise awareness, share information, celebrate, do crazy huge giveaways, encourage, and share stories.  But I have to be honest here, I’m only a tiny bit into it.  Why?  Because as a breastfeeding mom and a supporter of breastfeeding moms, it’s world breastfeeding DAY every day and everywhere.  It’s just a part of what I do, a part of my life.  Breastfeeding is more than the biologically normal way for me to feed and care for my babies and toddlers, it has actually become one of the most important tools in my parenting tool box.  It tops the list.

Breastfeeding and babywearing, parenting power tools each in their own right, together strategically efficient.  It’s not they have to go together but when they do it’s a win win for all involved.  Ring sling, wrap, soft structure carrier, whatever your favorite carrier is, it can be one of the most supportive tools to your breastfeeding.  And like breastfeeding, as a mother of 6 active little girls, babywearing is a tool I use every day, everywhere.  As World Breastfeeding Month draws to a close, I want to share how babywearing can be a useful tool not only for your parenting in general but specifically related to helping you reach your breastfeeding goals.

#bfbw365

How Babywearing can help you reach your breastfeeding goals:

Babywearing makes for easy skin-to-skin care.  If the wearer is topless or wears a low cut top with lots of skin available and baby is naked or close to naked, babywearing can easily facilitate the important skin-to-skin access that all babies benefit from specially in the early days but even Zrejnuk,.aching far beyond.  Why is skin-to-skin contact so great?  Helps baby regulate breathing and body temperature, better blood sugar levels,  maintains baby’s heart rate and blood pressure, encourages breastfeeding, promotes emotional bonding, reduces infant and maternal/paternal stress, can help prevent or lessen postpartum depression, is comforting to baby, reduces crying, helps developmental process, lowers anxiety, and so much more.

Babywearing keeps baby close for ease in picking up hunger cues.  Even if it isn’t the breastfeeding mother always wearing the baby, any caregiver can easily and quickly pick up onp] baby’s cues that it’s time to eat, allowing for a quick response which will help the mother’s supply and baby’s stress levels.

Babywearing enables mom to be active while being close.  Whether she’s working, doing chores, or caring for other children, babywearing keeps baby close and let’s her multitask her responsibilities.  Moms that feel like they can keep up with their other responsibilities while caring for their infant are more likely to reach their breastfeeding goals because they won’t feel trapped in their home.  Having a happy baby safe and secure and being able to be productive in other areas is a huge confident boost that will go a long way not only in her overall parenting but can directly impact her breastfeeding goals.

Babywearing encourages breastfeeding in public.  Have baby, will go out.  Since babywearing can help moms be on the go it can also help them breastfeed in public.  Moms isolated and stuck inside their house often struggle with anxiety and postpartum depression.  Both babywearing and breastfeeding can simplify getting out and being active in social settings, reducing the risk of isolating mothers and developing postpartum depression and/or postpartum anxiety.  Once she works out how to breastfeed in a carrier (tip: practice in front of a mirror to see what it looks like- you’ll be surprised how incognito breastfeeding in a carrier can be if you are concerned about that.), breastfeeding in a carrier can be much easier than using a cover if mom feels she should, easier than taking baby out of the carrier and feeding even if she feels she doesn’t need to cover, and easier than a bottle of expressed milk or formula.  And it takes us back to the previous point, mom can be active not only while being close but actually while breastfeeding.  Because when you have a 3 year old and a new baby, sitting down in a quite setting with a pillow and staring into your baby’s eyes while they feed for the 67th time that day (I exaggerate… 24th time that day) isn’t always possible.  Being able to feed your baby and keep up with the 3 year old is priceless!

Babywearing helps normalize breastfeeding.  You read that right and no, it’s not a stretch.  Since breastfeeding is encouraged and supported by babywearing the more families that utilize it the more breastfeeding will increase in both numbers and visibility.  As more and more women begin to confidently feed their babies with their breasts, breastfeeding will become more and more normal.  Like walking, when breastfeeding is normal there will be better support available for those that may encounter difficulties because it simply won’t be acceptable to ignore breastfeeding problems any more than it would be acceptable to ignore problems walking.  Babywearing helps normalize breastfeeding by encouraging breastfeeding, helping more moms breastfeed while out, and supporting moms in reaching their breastfeeding goals.

Even for moms that aren’t comfortable feeding in their carrier (but don’t despair if you struggle with feeding in the carrier, it may get easier with time, in a different carrier, or with practice and help from someone) babywearing can be a useful part of your breastfeeding journey and even help you reach your breastfeeding goals for many of the reasons listed above.

World Breastfeeding Month?  Just a month?  It’s great but that’s just a drop in the bucket.  I breastfeed. I babywear. Every day. Everywhere. 365. Way beyond World Breastfeeding Month.

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Do you breastfeed every day?  Everywhere?  Does babywearing help you? 

If it’s always breastfeeding day for you or has been, share the breastfeeding and/or babywearing love by posting a photo of you breastfeeding and/or babywearing (or the badge or banner below) and let others know!  Use the hashtag #BFBW365 on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and help normalize breastfeeding and babywearing for all parents.

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BFBW365

#BFBW365

 

This week The Leaky Boob is teaming up with Beco Baby Carriers to encourage breastfeeding every day, everywhere.  In showing their support they are also sponsoring a chat on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page on Thursday, September 5th, 2013 at 8pm Central for an hour about breastfeeding 365 and what’s in your parenting toolkit.  We will be giving away 4 Beco Soleils with accessory packs as part of the chat.  RSVP for the chat using the chat below and participate on Thursday, September 5th, 2013 for a chance to win a carrier to help you breastfeed and babywear every day, everywhere. 
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What is Skin to Skin Care?

by Kim Walls, mom and creator/owner of BabyTime by Episencial.  This post made possible by the generous support of BabyTime Episencials.

Kangaroo Care
The most classic definition of ‘Skin-to-Skin Care’ (which is the same as ‘Kangaroo Care’) refers specifically to sessions of 60 minutes of continuous touch between baby and mom in the first moments, hours and days after baby is born. First, baby is placed on mother’s chest immediately after birth, where the cascade of normal hormonal physiological benefits will occur. Baby will show nine distinct stages of bonding including relaxation, crawling (Yes! A newborn will actually wiggle towards the breast!) and rooting to suckle.
The latest research shows that while the 60 minute time frame recommended for classic Kangaroo Care is important, it touches on just a fraction of the benefits available to baby and mom from a more comprehensive understanding of skin to skin care. Even six seconds of skin to skin touch is often enough to raise the ‘love’ and ‘bonding’ hormone oxytocin, which could make breastfeeding easier and reduce the symptoms of postpartum depression. Additionally, it is within the first 48 hours after birth that baby’s skin is first colonized with the beneficial bacteria that will help keep her dermal microflora (skin surface bacteria) in protective balance.
The immediate separation that’s typical in most U.S. hospitals may not be as ideal as time spent snuggling together – skin to skin – for at least 60 minutes immediately after birth, and as much as possible for the first 48 hours. Studies have shown that even brain development is enhanced in babies who had ample skin to skin contact in those early hours and weeks after being born. Your baby instinctively knows that nestling into your chest is the best place she could be.
The natural colonization of baby’s skin with the same bacteria as found on mom’s skin, plus breastfeeding, are thought to help prevent allergic reactions in baby as she ages. Skin to skin closeness with Mom, immediately after birth and beyond, are critical to support breastfeeding and the proper microflora colonization. It also helps bring baby’s heart rate, temperature, blood pressure and breathing rates back to normal after the stimulation of being born. Babies experience stress as they go through the birthing process. After birth and for a long time after, the healthiest place to be is on mom’s chest.

As baby gets older, there are plenty of opportunities for parents to share increased skin to skin contact time, through baby massage, giving baby a bath, taking a nap together, or just playing simple games together (Peek a boo with baby in your lap and a board book!)

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Did you use Kangaroo Care with your little ones?

How do you enjoy skin-to-skin time with your little ones still?

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References:

Lozoff B, Brittenham GM, Trause MA, Kennell JH, Klaus MH. The mother-newborn relationship: limits of adaptability. J Pediatr 1977 July;91(1):1-12.

Lozoff B, Brittenham G. Infant care: cache or carry. J Pediatr 1979 September;95(3):478-83.

Morton D, Thierry B, Peretta G, Lankeit M, Ljungberg T, van Hooff J A R A M, and Scott L. The welfare of non-human primates used in research. Report of the Scientific Committee on Animal health and Animal Welfare.  European Commission Health and Consumer Prtoection Directorate-general; 2002 Dec 17.

McKenna JJ, Mosko S. Evolution and infant sleep: an experimental study of infant-parent co-sleeping and its implications for SIDS. Acta Paediatr Suppl 1993 June;82 Suppl 389:31-6.

McKenna JJ, Thoman EB, Anders TF, Sadeh A, Schechtman VL, Glotzbach SF. Infant-parent co-sleeping in an evolutionary perspective: implications for understanding infant sleep development and the sudden infant death syndrome. Sleep 1993 April;16(3):263-82.

Laughlin CD. Pre- and Perinatal brain Development and enculturation: a biogenetic structural approach.  1991.

Schore AN. Effects of a secure attachment relationship on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal 2001;22(1-2):7-66.

Bates E, Thal D, Finlay B, Clancy B. Early language development and its neural correlates. In: Rapin I, Segalowitz S, editors. Handbook of Neuropsychology. 2nd edition ed. Amsterdam: Elsevier; 2005.

Doussard-Rossevelt J, Porges SW, McClenny BD. Behavioral sleep states in very low birth weight preterm neonates: relation to neonatal health and vagal maturation. J Pediatr Psychol 1996 December;21(6):785-802.

J Investig Dermatol Symp Proc. 2001 Dec;6(3):170-4.

Skin microflora and bacterial infections of the skin.

Chiller K, Selkin BA, Murakawa GJ.

J Appl Microbiol. 2013 May;114(5):1241-53. doi: 10.1111/jam.12137. Epub 2013 Feb 1.

Bioactives from probiotics for dermal health: functions and benefits.

Lew LC, Liong MT.

PLoS One. 2013;8(1):e53867. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0053867. Epub 2013 Jan 16.

Probiotic bacteria induce a ‘glow of health’.

Levkovich T, Poutahidis T, Smillie C, Varian BJ, Ibrahim YM, Lakritz JR, Alm EJ, Erdman SE.

Clin Microbiol Rev. 2003 October; 16(4): 658–672.

Potential Uses of Probiotics in Clinical Practice

Gregor Reid,1,2,3,* Jana Jass,1,2 M. Tom Sebulsky,2 and John K. McCormick1,2

Clin Microbiol Infect. 2005 Dec;11(12):958-66.

Probiotics: facts and myths.

Senok AC, Ismaeel AY, Botta GA.

Garcia Bartels N, Mleczko A, Schink T, Proquitte H, Wauer RR, Blume-Peytavi U. Influence of bathing or washing on skin barrier function in newborns during the first four weeks of life. Skin Pharmacology. 2009;22:248–257.

Eighteen ways to support your breastfeeding partner and a Beco Soleil giveaway

This post made possible by the generous support of Beco Baby Carrier

Babywearing daddy

When talking about breastfeeding we naturally spend a lot of time and energy working with, talking to, and sharing about women and babies so it may come as a surprise to you to hear that I feel breastfeeding is not a women’s issue, rather a humanitarian issue.  Which means it’s a men’s issue too.  Breastfeeding may seem like it’s about moms and babies but in reality breastfeeding is about the family and all of humanity.  It matters not just to those doing it and those receiving it but the value of breastfeeding extends to those that used to breastfeed, those who support those who breastfeed, those who know someone who breastfeeds, those who love someone who breastfeeds, and those that helped make the baby that breastfeeds.

Partners, this post’s for you.

I thought about having Jeremy write a post on dads and breastfeeding related to Father’s Day but that was about the equivalent of saying “hey, it’s the holiday to celebrate you… here’s more work for you to do!”  Instead we’re heading down the “brag about your partner” path.

Recent research suggests that one of the most important contributing factors in a woman reaching her breastfeeding goals is the support she receives.  Those closest to her and health care professionals can have the most impact on her breastfeeding experience.  Partners, this means you!  Your role in breastfeeding, even though you’re not the one putting the baby to your breast, is not to be minimized.  You matter, a lot.  And I’ll let you in on a little secret: when you help support a mom according to her needs, she will fall more in love with you.  Check out this thread on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page to see more about that.  Women are strong and determined and are equipped to breastfeed just fine on their own without support but when we don’t have to… it’s a beautiful thing.

I’m confident I could breastfeed just fine without The Piano Man’s support but I am grateful I have my partner’s support non the less. With so much emphasis put on being a “real man” in culture today it could be easy for him to not be willing to support me breastfeeding or think there’s no room for his involvement but his role is important, valuable.  Real man?  There is little I find more attractive than an involved partner, equally parenting in a setting of equal support and respect for each other’s contribution in the family.  That’s sexy.  And totally worth celebrating.

Eighteen ways to support your breastfeeding partner and bond with your baby

  1. bath time- a favorite recommendation for the non-breastfeeding partner is bath time.  It gives mom a break, accomplishes an important tasks, creates an opportunity for skin-to-skin, and can’t be multitasked.
  2. play time- even from the time they are first born, babies play.  The method just changes.  As newborns, talk to them, hold a toy steady for them to examine, holding them securely rock and dance with them.  As they grow, the play becomes more active.  I love watching my husband play with our children no matter what their age, they bond, I get a break, and I see the tender, fun-loving side of my husband that I love so much.
  3. get her water and make her be comfortable for feedings- breastfeeding is primarily between the mom and baby but there is no reason others can’t be involved.  Sit with them, talk with them, physically support her and metaphorically support her, be involved in the connection.  Even if it is 2am.  By taking care of her by getting her water, snacks, pillows, or anything else she needs, you are involved in the feeding and care of your child.
  4. learn about breastfeeding- read the science behind breastfeeding and encourage her by sharing that information.  Find resources and share them with her, learn what a proper latch looks like, and ask her what you can do to help.  If she’s pumping, help set up the pump and wash parts.  You don’t have to be left out but you may have to involve yourself.
  5. encourage her- think your partner breastfeeding is amazing?  TELL HER.  Do you think the expression on her face when she looks at your baby at her breast is beautiful?  Let her know.  Are you proud of her?  Respect her?  Communicating your support and doing so often goes a long way in her feeling like you’re really present.
  6. make the call- is she struggling with breastfeeding?  Is she in pain?  Worried?  Find the name and number of an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and make the call.  Then get her to the appointment.  You could be responsible for saving that breastfeeding relationship.
  7. run interference- is there an annoying individual pressuring her to use formula?  Find ways to keep them at bay.  Has someone criticized her breastfeeding?  Ask her if she wants you to say something or just wants your quiet support while she stands up for herself.  In those early days, help her get the rest she needs and hold the boundaries for her to heal from birth well so she can focus on establishing her milk supply.
  8. adjust expectations- things have changed, her body, the family dynamic, sleep, you name it.  Having your expectations remain the same simply isn’t realistic and it could greatly damage your relationship.  For everyone, have a discussion about realistic expectations in everything from financial decisions to responsibilities, from conversations to chores, from physical intimacy to sleep.  Be real and be flexible and you will all end up stronger.
  9. massage- offer to give your partner a back rub and even if she’s touched out, she’ll probably welcome that physical closeness.  Learn infant massage and give your partner some space to herself while you soothe and care for your child.  Massage is powerful.
  10. send her away- if baby is fed, consider sending your breastfeeding partner out of the house for an hour or so while you take on all the care.  Bonding with your baby while she’s gone and giving her some time to hear her own thoughts can strengthen you all.
  11. cosleep- while it may not be for everyone, done safely, cosleeping provides the space for some deep connections for the family.  Do your research before making the decision and if you cosleep make it an intentional choice (not falling asleep on accident on the couch with your newborn) and you’ll find it simplifies breastfeeding at night and puts you right there to not miss out on any of the night time parenting opportunities.
  12. get up- maybe you could sleep through all the night time feedings but if you wake and help get baby (if they aren’t right there in the bed with you already) then you become the promise of milk for your hungry baby.  It can be pretty lonely feeding a baby in the middle of the night, don’t miss out on the chance to be present with them.  Get up, change the diaper, hand baby to mom, get her a drink of water, and keep her company before you go back to sleep.  Everyone will think you’re pretty awesome.
  13. solids- when it’s time to introduce solids, get involved in the action!  However you decide to get your baby started on solids (check out baby led weaning or baby led solids- SO fun!) there’s lots of room for the non breastfeeding partner to take the led.  You’ll have a blast and so will your baby and chances are strong your partner will love watching you help your baby explore new tastes.
  14. do some chores- think about it this way, if you help with the stuff around the house like dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc., you free up more time for all of you to connect and rest.  This will help your bond with your child by modeling healthy adult behavior and balance and by making sure their mother isn’t too drained and stressed.  This will help your bond with your partner because while doing the dishes isn’t exactly sexy, her NOT having to do them is.
  15. diaper changes- sure, it’s poop and pee but it happens regularly and is a great opportunity for face to face interactions.  Hearing my husband talk to our baby or make silly faces that make them laugh as he changes their diaper always makes me smile.  I love that he’s such a good dad.
  16. cook- whatever it is, learn to cook something and do it regularly.  Humans bond over food which is part of why breastfeeding is such a bonding experience but it doesn’t stop there.  Cooking for your partner and your children forges deeper connections, sharing that meal together (and expressing gratitude for the one that prepared the food!) is sharing a nourishment that reaches the soul.
  17. soothe- if, for some strange reason, the breast can’t soothe your upset child at some point, take a turn trying to soothe them.  I’m not sure how but my husband has a magical soothing touch and there has been a point with all of our children where he is the only one that can comfort them and get them to settle to sleep.  Even the boob won’t work.  When he gets them calmed, I’m calm knowing they were in the arms of someone that loves them as much as I do.
  18. babywearing- all the celebrities are doing, wearing a baby is the trendiest accessory these days.  Seriously though, get a carrier you feel comfortable in and take turns with your parter having your baby attached to your body.

Real Men of AP Jamie Grumet

My friend Jamie Grumet from I Am Not the Babysitter celebrates these involved partners too and I just love her “Real Men of AP” series highlighting attached dads, see her post about her husband Brian, A Real Man of AP.  From babywearing to breastfeeding support, Real Men of AP are the partners that aren’t afraid to forge deep connections with their children, biological or otherwise, even if it means bucking what society tells them is required to be a “real man.”  Nurturing, giving, and in tune, these guys step up their manliness factor not in spite of but because they participate in tea parties, run the vacuum, and with lots of cuddles.

This post went live Thursday and then vanished as a result of some technical problems.  Preparing our eldest daughter to leave for the rest of the summer, I tried to juggle the issues with the site and having my attention focused on her and getting her ready to leave on Father’s Day.  The Piano Man encouraged me to let it go and just be present with my family.  So this post is late, very late, but somehow it feels right that it’s so late because it was my very own Real Man of AP that saw my stress in the midst of it all and reminded me of what’s really important and I took the time needed to pour into my family and it was good for my heart.  When I think of the guy I co-parent with I see the guy that helps me be the kind of parent I want to be even when external circumstances make that challenging.  A man that reminds me it can be ok to disappoint others in some areas so I can be so present with my family.  Today that’s what I think of when I think of my Real Man of AP.

The Leaky Boob is teaming up with Jamie and Beco Baby Carrier for a great giveaway and sharing information about how to form strong connections with our children.  We want to see the Real Men in your life and how they are attached and connecting with your children, whatever that looks like.  Then on Thursday, June 20, 2013 at 10am Central, we’re having a live chat sponsored by Beco Baby Carrier with Jamie Grumet from I am not The Babysitter about developing those attachments with our children, babywearing, discussing attachment parenting, and taking a look at parenting beyond a theory or philosophy in the real world.  Share your images and stories of a Real Man of AP and enter for a chance to win one of 3 Beco Soleils (retail value $130/each) and attach drool pads, a coordinating hood, and an infant insert with accessory pack (retail value $40/each) and you can keep the attachment going with a carry-all bag (retail value $25/each) that attaches to the carrier.  Let’s show the world what a Real Man of AP looks like, use the hashtag #RealMenofAP on twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and FB so we all can see (and tag us!) and we’ll share our favorite images on the Facebook pages of I Am Not the Babysitter, Beco Baby Carrier, and The Leaky Boob and visit the Real Men of AP tumblr.

Beco Soleil dad

Quick info on the Beco Soleil:

  • 3 carry positions: front, hip, and back.
  • Built-in waist belt pocket, key and toy ring
  • Carries 7-45lbs
  • Carrier weight 1.1lbs
  • Material: 100% cotton
  • Seat: 16″ and 17″ tall
  • Shoulder straps extending from 18″ to 45″
  • Waist belt extending from 27″ to 59″
  • Recommended fit for adults 5′ to 6′ 5″
  • Compatible accessories: hood, drool pads, infant insert, carry-all

Good luck and we look forward to seeing and hearing your pictures and stories!  See the widget below to enter.
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IBCLCs, Negative Experiences, and Self-Advocacy

 

 

This post made possible in part by the generous support of Boba, makers of the Boba Baby Carrier.

Jessica and Sugarbaby Bfing

When my daughter was entering the 2nd grade at our local public school, we were all enthusiastic about the coming year.  She loved school, loved learning, loved everything about it.  But just a few short weeks into the school year things we drastically different.  She cried all the time, she hated going to school, she started struggling with school work, and every day she complained that her tummy hurt and she was too sick to go to school.  We were confused.  What had happened to our little girl?

It quickly became apparent that while there were multiple issues going on that I won’t go into here except to say there were some technical difficulties and an adjustment period that needed to happen.  Still, there was one particular issue that emerged as being critical: she didn’t like her teacher.  Believing we need to encourage her to work with people, even ones she didn’t like, The Piano Man and I tried to help her navigate this relationship.  This proved to be more challenging than we expected because, as it turned out, we didn’t like her either.  She simply wasn’t the kind of person we thought would be teaching second grade.  Or teaching at all.  Grough, grumpy, rarely smiled, she came across as cold and distant.  Suddenly, challenges our daughter had previously felt empowered to tackle loomed as impossible mountains.  Intimidated by the one she thought was there to guide and support her in facing these challenges, she withdrew and began to give up.

We tried to work with the school and the teacher but in a short amount of time we felt we needed to explore other options and ended up transferring schools.  It was that, or risk killing our daughter’s love for learning and that simply wasn’t something we were willing to sacrifice.

When we visited the new school Earth Baby was nervous about meeting the 2nd grade teacher.  Gripping my hand she whispered “I don’t like 2nd grade teachers, they are mean.”  I was surprised she had already jumped to a conclusion about a group of people based on her experience with just one of that group.  Given that she was 7 at the time, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised at such an immature response but I felt that we had worked hard to help our children understand how individuals can be so different.  Encouraging her to remember that Miss B. would be a person first, a 2nd grade teacher second, we met with the teacher.  Gentle, kind, friendly, and very warm, Miss B. proved to be the opposite of the previous 2nd grade teacher and Earth Baby ended up flourishing in her class.  Inspired with hope and confidence, Earth Baby made a lifelong friend in her teacher (and is seeing her this summer) and not only met but surpassed her goals for the year with an enflamed love of learning.  Interestingly enough, now she will talk about how wonderful 2nd grade teachers are and being a teacher is in her top 5 career options.

Why am I sharing this story on a breastfeeding site?  Moms often come to TLB looking for breastfeeding support. The support they are looking for is usually just about what is normal in breastfeeding journeys, the mom-to-mom support of experience and camaraderie.  Sometimes it’s for issues that are outside of normal and require more expertise support and help.  It isn’t uncommon for a Leaky and/or one of the admin to recommend seeing an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) for experienced and trained support.  These experts are usually the most equipped to help moms with true lactation problems having gone through intense training and having to comply to regular board standards in their continuing education and certification.  Just as often, someone then shares their negative experience with an IBCLC.  Frustrated and hurt, these women sometimes share that an IBCLC almost ruined their breastfeeding relationship with misinformation, intimidating and overwhelming directions, and sometimes down right bullying.

Find the right IBCLC

From these comments it sometimes sounds as though they fear all IBCLCs will be just like the negative experience they had.  Hurt and discouraged by the one or two individuals they encountered in the profession, they are unsure they can trust anyone with the title and position.  Like my daughter felt unsure about 2nd grade teachers, these moms are skeptical of the entire IBCLC profession, not because they don’t know that they are all different people but because they may believe that what they didn’t like is actually expected to be a part of the profession.  As if the consultants are trained to support that way.  Just as with any profession, there are individuals within the lactation consultant profession that are rude, unsupportive, not helpful, judgmental, dismissive, and misinformed. Thankfully, most I’ve met go into supporting breastfeeding moms because they genuinely care and want to help moms reach their breastfeeding goals.  The IBCLCs I’ve interacted with understand the vulnerable nature of that time in a mother’s life and the importance of providing the right kind of support.  Most IBCLCs aren’t in the profession to push an agenda or tell moms what to do, they genuinely seek to provide legitimate support unique to each mothers’ needs.  Sure, I’ve met a few that seemed burned out and dogmatic just like my daughter’s first second grade teacher, but just like most 2nd grade teachers actually enjoy children and teaching, so most IBCLCs aim to provide sincere information and assistance.  I encourage moms that need lactation support to move on from someone that isn’t supportive to find someone that’s a better fit.   It’s that, or risk not reaching your breastfeeding goals and that simply isn’t something we should be willing to sacrifice without a fight.

I am aware that for many, a second choice, let alone a third or fourth, isn’t readily available.  Financial restrictions, local availability, and even cultural support from family and friends can make it difficult to find someone.  Sometimes, shoot, maybe often, the support you need will find you in unexpected places such as the internet or a new friend.  Moms may have to try other paths for lactation support such as virtual appointments via the web or attending a local breastfeeding support group or even reading articles online.  Whatever it takes, pushing on to find the support you need may be work but you and your baby are worth it.

You don’t have to be stuck with a professional providing inadequate support.  In the end, you are the biggest advocate for you and your child and if advocating for you both means moving on to find the assistance you need, you won’t regret doing so.  As Leaky and IBCLC Jackie Rauch shared:

I will sometimes tell my clients the story of me seeking her out just to let them know that even the people with the knowledge need to seek out help from people with the knowledge. If you are not getting the help you need, keep looking!

You never know, you may find the one that helps you turn it all around and inspires you with hope and confidence.

Need a lactation consultant?  This site can help you find one.

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What about you?  What has your experience with an IBCLC or other lactation professional been like?  Did you have to find someone else for better support at some point?  Did an IBCLC or other lactation professional help you in your breastfeeding journey?  Check out the conversation we’re having on this very topic over on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page

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No Right Way- Sonnets of the tired mom

by the admins of The Leaky B@@b.  There are 7 of us admins here and none of us have made the exact same decisions in all aspects of our parenting and that is okay. Each parent is going to make decisions with the knowledge that they has at the time that works best for their family.  This sonnet is dedicated to those who have judged, from all of us who have felt judged.
This post made possible in part by the generous sponsorship of Boba, makers of the Boba baby carrier.

judging moms

How could you judge me?  Let me count the ways.

You could judge me to the playground, the grocery store and dance studio too

You could judge me for not being as put together as you

For how I feed my children: organic or not, frozen, fresh or fried

Homemade or store-bought, you can judge how I tried

How my breasts do or don’t leak, weaning, and where my child sleeps

How I catch their poop and if my child ever weeps

The birthing room, soccer field, and selected books

For screen time you can give me funny looks

Judge me for the guilt I feel and that which I don’t

Lay it on because my heart won’t give up hope

For the times I lost my cool

And the way my child drools

Don’t forget to judge for school

I doubt you can judge me more harsh than I

Go ahead, let your criticisms fly

How I long to be parent enough

Not alone and no need to bluff

Hitting walls and ceilings and poop to fans

Getting in and missing out on all the right brands

The car seat, yoga pants, if my child wants to hold my hand

All I forgot; registration, shoes, toilet paper, and hairnets

Being late and probably too much internets

The number of kids, the mess that is my house

You can judge the spit up smeared on my blouse

From your glass house the ways to judge are many

It will not change my loving any

Working out, working at all

Or staying home, you can clap when I fall

If judging me helps you feel strong

Feel free to do it all day long.

Your words and thoughts will not damage my will

Flawed though I am, my children know I love them still.

Growing always, I will be

Along this path of parenting.

What’s green and white and safe all over? Clek Foonf Review

 Full disclosure: Clek is an active TLB sponsor at the time of writing this review.  I do not receive any financial compensation for any of my reviews, the product is all I receive so I can review it.  The financial sponsorship of Clek for TLB has no bearing on my review and I will share my honest opinion of their product, including the good, the bad, and the ugly.  If, at any time, being open and honest with my readers does not work for a sponsor and they choose to withdraw their support of breastfeeding mothers through sponsoring The Leaky Boob, I would rather they move on anyway.  My readers can trust that this review is free of any manipulation or effort to preserve my relationship with Clek.  
Disclaimer: I am not a child passenger safety technician or any kind of car seat expert.  I’m simply a mom of 6 kids and I’ve used a lot of seats.  My opinion is simply that, my opinion and I can’t give you any kind of credentials that says you should listen to it.  I have been using the Clek Foonf for the past 3 months.

This review shares our experience with the Clek Foonf and our thoughts on the seat.  If you don’t have much time, you may want to skip down to the end for a summary.

 

I remember when we were expecting our eldest and we had to pick out a carseat.  I was 20 and The Piano Man was 22.  We walked into the big box store and looked at the display of seats that seemed ridiculously huge to hold such a small person.  It was overwhelming.  We read the features and didn’t understand what they meant.  Intimidated we went and asked for help from a store employee, an even young guy that we hoped would know more than we did.  He showed us the most popular seller, a bucket seat that was part of a travel system and it had a low price point.  Plus, we liked the color scheme.

And just like that, we picked out our seat. We figured all the seats were the same and we knew nothing about checking installation. In the more than 14 years and now 6 children we’ve been dealing with child safety seats since that day, we’ve learned a lot and make our decisions regarding seats in a much more thorough fashion now.  I now know lingo and recommendations, have talked with CPSTs, watched videos, and learned some of the different safety standards around the world.  I know what’s important for our family in a seat and it doesn’t matter what the most popular seat is and the color is just a bonus.

Still, selecting the right seat can be an overwhelming task. The most important thing I’ve learned about selecting a car seat?  Select the safest seat you can properly install and use according to your budget.  Having a seat with a high safety rating means nothing if you don’t install and use it properly.  I actually cringe about some of the seats we’ve used over the years.  Worse, I nearly cry when I think about how we installed and used some of them.  So grateful that in spite of our ignorance and poor seat usage our children are ok.  I am all too aware that if we had been in a serious accident I probably couldn’t say that.

important car seat rule

Now we know better so we can do better. Being aware and better educated on the issue of child passenger safety (by no means an expert!), I was intrigued when I learned of the new convertible seat coming from Clek, the Foonf.  Just as Sugarbaby was reaching the point where she was outgrowing her infant seat, the Foonf became available.  I had the chance to play with the seat at the ABC Kids Expo and liked what I saw.  Because I’m not an expert, I talked with CPST Jamie Grayson, The BabyGuy NYC and CPST Christie Haskell to hear their thoughts on the Foonf.  They explained how many of the safety features utilized technology haven’t been used in child passenger safety seats before and shared their own excitement about how this seat could greatly improve the industry overall.  Curious as to how well us normal, non-CPST parents could use the seat, we decided to give it a try.  There were so many features that we liked when we read it, it seemed worth giving it a go. foonf_safety_rear_facing Quick specs on the Clek Foonf:

clek Foonf info

clek foonf measurements and weight

When our seat arrived (a Christmas gift for Sugarbaby- she loved the box) I have to admit to being a little intimidated.  It seemed so… nice.  And high tech.  I wasn’t sure we could even figure it out properly.  So it sat for 2 weeks until we had a day with nothing on our schedules just so we could take plenty of time setting it up. Turns out we didn’t need all day. We watched Jamie’s video and the video on the clek site before we attempted our own install.  It was fairly simple and though we had some issue getting the rebound bar in place because it’s a tight fit (not a bad thing!) and The Piano Man had it right for about 10 minutes before realizing it.  Without a doubt it was the easiest seat we’ve installed that we felt the most secure about.  It was so stable so fast.  I have never felt so confident that we installed a seat correctly.  In fact, installing it and seeing how secure it is made me want to recheck the seats our 3 and 5 year old are currently in.  I have loved their seats (Diono Radian RXTs) though after playing with the Foonf I’m not quite as in love with them as I had been.  They are still great seats, it’s just the technology, features, and ease of use of the Foonf is just so much more advanced.  It’s kind of like watching the special effects of a movie that used to wow you but ten years later they look less impressive.

clek Foonf rear-facing seat belt install lock off clips

We had to use the seat belt install as our van (Nissan Quest 2001) doesn’t have the LATCH option.  The seat belt install was far more stable than we expected and so much easier than we’ve ever experienced.  Even The Piano Man’s larger hands had no issues.  The only problem we ran into with the rear-facing seat belt install?  We managed to miss that the internal lock offs for the seat belt were two pieces and were trying to secure it with only one.  Once we figured that out it was a snap, literally.  It was so easy to install we were actually nervous that we did something wrong.  So we called Jamie.  He talked us through it, looked at pictures I texted him, and he confirmed that it actually is that easy.

Note: I still recommend having your installation checked by a CPST in person just to be sure, at least your first time installing a new seat.

Sugarbaby has never been a fan of being in her car seat.  Even approaching the van with the door open would lead to her getting worked up.  As a busy family with 6 children involved in activities, never being in the car simply wasn’t an option.  So we’ve all endured her hate for trips in her seat.  The first time we used the Foonf, she predictably freaked out.  There was no way she was going to be happy about being in a car seat no matter how impressive a seat it is.  But gradually, over the next week or so, we began to see something new from her in the van with less crying, then less fussing, then no fussing, then happy babbling baby.  Complete 180, now she actually reaches for her seat when we approach the van.  I’m not sure it is simply that the seat is more comfortable, that she actually has more room in the seat, or that it has a higher base so she’s higher up, but it was a relief to no longer have a screaming baby in the van any time we have to go somewhere.  A happy baby in an unshakable seat = happy mommy.  If we were ever to be in a serious accident, while there’s no way to be 100% sure, I have little doubt that Sugarbaby would emerge unscathed, probably even happy.

clek Foonf action shot close

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly; because I swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

What I liked (or “The Good”):

I love, love, love that the Foonf is so easy to install.  The easier to install a seat is, the more children will safe.  The internal lock-off clips are amazing.  I can’t get over how well they secure the belt.  When friends ask to see the seat that’s the first thing I show them because they are just. that. amazing.  I also love the storage for the latch connectors since we don’t have the latch option and I hate having to deal with those things in the way with our other seats.  How secure that rebound bar makes the seat, incredibly stable, is a huge selling point as well.  AND this seat is 100% recyclable.  So when we’re finally done with it I love knowing it won’t be headed to a landfill.  But that’s another thing, we may not be done with it until she’s driving herself.  With the weight and height limits on this thing she may be taking it with her to college.  Ok, not really but it has the highest weight limit for rear-facing in the USA (slightly lower in Canada) and will easily keep her safely rear-facing until her 4th birthday.  Which is awesome.  It is likely that she will be in this seat forward facing for a good long time as well, I suspect until she’s about 6 years old.  Talk about your money’s worth.  This may not be the case for everyone, each child is so different it depends on how they grow but with a 9 year, yes you read that right, a NINE year expiration on all of clek’s seats the potential is there or to have the seat for another baby when the older one grows out of it.  Having a seat so long it could easily get gross but clek has thought of everything and the fabric cover is not only entirely removable, it is a GREENGUARD Select Certified Crypton Super Fabric which, according to their site, “provides permanent protection against stains, moisture, and odor-causing bacteria.”  When Sugarbaby puked a bit in her seat I simply wiped it up with a cloth and there was no sign it had ever been there.  Though you can see the Crumpled REACT Safety System, knowing it is there is a huge comfort.  We haven’t been able to afford to upgrade to a newer vehicle so we really appreciate this extra level of safety in Sugarbaby’s seat.  It’s trim size (it looks so much bigger than it is) makes it possible for 3 seats in a row in most vehicles.  Lastly, though I don’t pick a seat any more based on the color scheme and look of the seat, I do love how the foonf looks.  We selected the Dragonfly model and the green cover and white base look sharp and cheery.  One of my favorite features, silly those this may sound, are the magnets that keep the straps out of the way when putting baby in the seat.  No more fishing for them behind her!

But my favorite thing about this seat has little to do with the seat and everything to do with the fact that my daughter is finally happy in her seat.

There’s a lot of “The Good.”

Clek Foonf = happy baby!

Sugarbaby loves her Foonf! Which means I love it too.

What I didn’t like (or “The Bad, and The Ugly”)

I hate the price.  In fact I squirm a little telling people about the seat and I have to share the price.  I’m kind of embarrassed to have a seat that costs so much.  It seems so… extreme.  At $479 it’s a pricy piece of equipment.  Safety equipment.  However, this isn’t a seat that lasts for a few months and if your child sits in it rear-facing for 4 years it works out to $119.75 annually for their safety.  If they are in it for a year or more beyond that, it’s even less.  I decided to ask Jamie Grayson if the seat was worth such a price tag and here’s what he had to say:

I can’t tell you if the Foonf is “worth” the price.  That’s completely subjective because everyone operates on a different budget.  What I can say is that the quality of materials used, the safety technology involved, and the ease-of-installation with the rigid LATCH add up to an incredible seat.  Add to that fact that it rear-faces to 50lbs (USA only, Canada has a slightly lower weight limit on that), is incredibly narrow yet has a wide seat for kid’s comfort, and the fact that the upholstery is GreenGuard Certified, and the Foonf is something to be reckoned with.  When all is said and done, the above features combined might make people view the price differently.

I know that coughing up that cost up front can be challenging but we’ve personally decided that even though we won’t get as many years use out of it, we will be purchasing a second foonf to keep our petite 3 year old Smunchie rear-facing longer.  When it comes to baby gear, I’m all for simplicity and choose to select a few key items where we will spend the money for higher quality and do without.  For example, we currently do not have a stroller or a crib and would rather invest in a higher priced car seat.  The Foonf is the most expensive baby item we own and while I didn’t pay for this one we are saving to purchase another.  I absolutely believe it is worth it.  So I hate the price but I understand it and personally feel that the upfront cost is balanced out by the long term pay off for our family.

Also, Clek has created the Foonf in Drift for $399.99 –it is the non-Crypton fabric and does not have the magnets that I adore, but it is still a great value.  Those things are really just fluff anyway, it’s the safety features that are the real point.

I also don’t like but understand the weight.  Weighing in at 36 pounds rear-facing and 32 pounds forward-facing, you’re not going to want to lug this very far.  It’s heavy.  But when you look at all the safety features the thing is loaded with, it’s not a surprise.  Reinforced steal and magnesium underbelly, an Anti-Rebound Bar, energy-absorbing foam lining on the inside and outside of the frame, head protection and side-impact collision protection, high weight and height limits, LATCH storage, etc..  Features like these don’t come light.  All this is going to weigh something.  I agree with Jamie, if you’re going to be taking this through the airport, get one of those carts so you don’t hurt your back carrying 36 pounds of top notch safety technology.

This is a small thing but I felt I needed to be honest and share anyway.  The Foonf sits rather high and it makes me nervous sometimes that I can’t see out the window on that side very well.  However, that’s what we have side and rear view mirrors and my baby girl is so happy, perhaps because she can see out better thanks to being up higher.  This is a very minor point for me, really just an observation.

Overall:

As amazing as all the neat safety features are, I’m not sure I completely “get” how incredible they really are.  Instead, what I love about this seat is simply that it’s usable.  I feel confident that I can install it correctly and the ease of which that installation requires makes me want another one.  Knowing it has such cutting edge safety technology is comforting but I’m never cutting edge on anything so it’s only a minor selling point for me.  We’ll be buying another one because we’re confident that how we as parents use the seat is safer than any other seat we’ve owned.  For me that makes it worth every bit of that price tag and the hefty poundage.There is no doubt in my mind that a car seat is the most important purchase I am making for my child’s daily safety and I feel the Foonf is well deserving of the investment.  I am thrilled with this seat and am looking forward to getting one in Snowberry.  I can’t tell you if the Foonf is the right seat for your family but I’m confidently recommend those in the market for a new convertible seat consider it.

Smiling Sugarbaby in Foonf

The Babywearing Bond… with a giveaway

Sleeping on daddy in the Beco

Squiggle Bug, 20 months, sleeping in the Beco on Daddy. She had insisted on wearing her helmet.

Last week I was thinking about all the ways we connect and bond with our children.  Looking at the little rituals and and space we create that give us moments to express love on a daily basis I was reminded of times of sweet connection.  For many of us, when we’re pregnant, we rub our bellies to sense our babies and demonstrate our growing love.  After birth, skin to skin cuddles, kisses, nuzzles, and breastfeeding, to name a few, help us both to connect with our child and to communicate love.  Caring for them and meeting their needs for warmth, shelter, food, and hygiene, bonds our families closer together.  Including them in our activities, having them close to be a part of what we have going on and not passively set aside, gives us the opportunity to bond through shared experiences.

 

Babywearing did not begin to be an important part of our parenting until our third child.  With our first two daughters, we relied heavily on our stroller and our arms.  We had a carrier but it was horribly uncomfortable and it never felt right.  When desperate I would use it so I could vacuum once in a while but the carrier hurt my shoulders, my back, and I couldn’t help but think probably my baby too.  They just looked so awkward with their legs and arms jutting out and I was anxious they weren’t really secure.  Through bath time, reading together, snuggling in bed, play time, and of course breastfeeding were our primary ways of developing connection.  We added baby wearing with our third daughter when we discovered the ring sling and both The Piano Man and I regularly wore her at home and while out.

 

We wore our babies because they liked it.  Not because of a parenting style, not because of a trend, and not because of a philosophical belief.  Before we’d ever heard of attachment parenting, Dr. Sears, or even the term “babywearing,” we wore our babies.  It just felt right.  They were clearly happier closer to us and our own stress levels were reduced when they were content.  Having them close facilitated a deeper connection making little kisses, conversation, and attention to their needs easier with juggling the demands of our older children, home life, and even working full time.

 

When our fourth was 8 months old we expanded our babywearing to include a soft structured carrier when some friends went in together to get us a Beco Butterfly II.  They picked a print I loved, which I found exciting, but ultimately it was the comfort, ease, and practicality of the design that made the Beco my favorite carrier.  But I wasn’t the only fan of the carrier.

 

By 10 months old Sugarbaby had become deeply attached to our Beco.  If she saw it on the closet shelf she would squeal, flap her arms, smile, and radiate excitement.  If we didn’t respond by taking the carrier out and wearing her, tears would inevitably ensue.  After wearing her, when we would take her out of the carrier, she would pitch a fit even if it was obvious she wanted down and would only settle if we gave her the carrier to play with by herself on the floor.  She was obsessed with the buckles and it wasn’t long before her verbal vocabulary was made up of “mama,” “dada,” and “Beco.”  Her 3rd word.  The Beco ranked pretty high in her life.  There were times that I wondered if she was more attached to the actual carrier than she was to me.  Reality was, as much as she loved that carrier, what made it so special was that it kept her close to her mommy and daddy and sometimes even a big sister would wear her.  It was the bonding.  For the longest time she would chatter about the Beco but nothing made her happier than being in the Beco on one of us.  “Beco” was her third word because just as mama and dada meant love, so did “Beco.”

 

beco mini

Squiggle Bug wearing her own “baby” now. (Disclaimer: it is not safe to have a real baby facing out when wearing them on your back. This particular 5 year old felt it wouldn’t be a problem for her doll.)

Today, 2 babies later, that carrier is still an important part of my ever growing wrap and carrier collection.  It has held up through 3 babies now and been loaned out a few times as well.  Some day I imagine we will enjoy carrying grandbabies and creating new intentional opportunities to express love with little ones.  I doubt I’ll ever get rid of it because it represents one of the ways we bond with our babies and holds so many memories of connection, closeness, and love.

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How do you enjoy bonding with your little ones?  

In what ways are you intentional about creating connections to express love and be close?

 ____________________

I shared this story with my friends at Beco and they loved that “Beco” was Squiggle Bug’s 3rd word and meant so much to our family.  In honor of Squiggle Bug and to help more parents and babies enjoy the bonding experience of babywearing, Beco is giving away 3 Gemini carriers (perfect for breastfeeding in) and 3 Beco Minis so your little ones can care for their babies like you do.  Be sure to like Beco on Facebook so you can keep up on sales, news, and great baby wearing and parenting tips and information.  To be entered in the giveaway, use the widget below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Baby Weight Workout

I hear often from moms wanting to get back in shape after having a baby but concerned that exercise and dieting could harm their milk supply.  IBCLC Star Rodriguez helped clarify the questions we see frequently from moms on breastfeeding and fitness in this article here.  Be sure to check that out and don’t forget that it is always best to work with your health care provider in determining a healthy activity level and nutritional plan.  

Once you are certain that adding working out and increased physical activity is a healthy choice for you (and evidence supports that it’s healthy for most of us!) the challenge many parents face is when to find the time, space, and right activity.  Having children around it can be difficult to make some space for yourself and your health.  You are worth it though and your children deserve to have healthy parents, plus, when your children see you making physical activity and your own health a priority, you are modeling how important it is for them as well.  The best way for your children to develop healthy habits is for you to demonstrate healthy habits yourself.  Happy health to you and your family!  ~Jessica

 

Jennifer from Fit For Expecting has offered up a workout to help make it easier to find some time to take care of you.  Check out this Baby Weight Workout that you can enjoy WITH your baby.  I think it’s a great springboard for customizing and creating your own workout that fits your family’s unique makeup.  For more support, be sure to check out Jennifer’s website and like the Fit For Expecting Facebook page.  ~Jessica

Most moms know that exercise is good for them physically, mentally and emotionally. But, when life gets busy, exercise often gets put on the back burner. I designed a workout specifically for Leakies, that’s quick (5 minutes total) and incorporates baby into each exercise. I’m calling it the “Baby Weight Workout” because, that’s right, baby functions as the weight.
A few general exercise tips to keep in mind:
  • For your comfort and for a content baby, you might want to breastfeed before exercising.
  • Stay hydrated – drink water before, during and after exercising.
  • Eat a snack 1 1/2 – 2 hours before exercising.
Enjoy!
TLB Workout - Exercising with Baby

A tale of a school, a teen, a baby, and a global community

baby breastfeeding

I can’t help but dream of the day when, of all the things to fight for, breastfeeding will no longer make the list.  Because it will just be.  Society will finally walk the talk and supporting breastfeeding will be as common place as supporting eating, sleeping, and other normal healthy lifestyle choices.  Accommodations for breastfeeding moms won’t be given a second thought, it will be accepted and encouraged without discrimination.

There are times when any glimmer of hope that one day this dream will be a reality is snuffed out by organizations handling a woman breastfeeding her child in their space badly.  Hollister Co. not only harassed a breastfeeding mother but refused to apologize or otherwise make amends for their illegal and hostile actions toward breastfeeding mothers and their families.  When given the chance to correct their response when hundreds of women around the country staged a nurse-in, they still refused to engage in a lawful and respectful manner, driving the wedge deeper.  Then things became even more volatile with Facebook nastiness, mall security harassed even more mothers, and further silence from Hollister.  At these times I shake my head and wonder if there is any chance my grandchildren will be able to eat normally without managers yelling at their mothers.

Then there are times when I’m encouraged and the glimmer of hope is fanned into a full fledged flame and I know that though the steps along the way have been, at times, tedious, they have also been worth it.  When the Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Vegas responded to a disappointing misstep in asking a breastfeeding mother (yours truly) to cover while feeding her baby in one of their cafes by issuing an apology, immediately educating their staff on breastfeeding laws, and asking how they could better serve families, I thought if it can happen there then it can happen anywhere and we are well on our way!  (Read that story here.)

Society is well aware that breastfeeding is exactly what human infants need.  Most would say it’s “best.”  Unfortunately though, the walk still struggles to line up to the lip service being given.

Apparently, even within our educational centers.

When 15 year old Jaielyn Belong prepared to return to high school in the Lake Forest School District after the birth of her son, she was hoping all the recommendations of the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics would be supported by the very institution where she received the education that led her to think critically enough to understand the importance of applying these recommendations in caring for her son.  Unfortunately, the initial reaction from the school was to discourage her breastfeeding as there would be no place for her to pump, no time allotted for her to have pumping breaks, and nowhere to store her breastmilk for her infant son.  This recommendation came from the school nurse, the very person on staff at the school who should have been most supportive and understanding of Jaielyn’s desire to provide breastmilk for her son.  There was even a claim made that the noise of the breastpump would be a potential distraction to other students, that it was time consuming, and that they wouldn’t be sure she was even actually pumping milk when she claimed to be doing so.  The school nurse also expressed concern that Jaielyn could be teased.  Something the teen mom has surely already faced and is equipped to handle.  Jaielyn wasn’t choosing the easiest path, she was choosing the path she felt is right for her son, accepting the sacrifices required of her.  As any good mother would do.

As mommatraumablog.com pointed out, prohibiting Jaielyn from breastfeeding or pumping her milk was in violation of Delaware law which reads:

31 Del. C. § 310

Notwithstanding any provision of law to the contrary, a mother shall be entitled to breast-feed her baby in any location of a place of public accommodation, wherein the mother is otherwise permitted.

 

And if a teenager’s “job” is to apply themselves to receiving an education through schooling, then it is violating yet another law providing reasonable breaks to breastfeeding mothers:

SEC. 4207. REASONABLE BREAK TIME FOR NURSING MOTHERS.

Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act of 19384 (29 U.S.C. 207) is amended by adding at the end the following: 

‘‘An employer shall provide a reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year after the child’s birth each time such employee has need to express the milk; and a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express breast milk.”

 

Unfortunately, I hear on a regular basis from breastfeeding moms that teach that there is a real struggle to find time and space to pump and store their milk.  Many report having no support from their administration to have “reasonable break times.”   This concerned me that if adult employees receiving a pay check struggle with this, what are the implications for a student?

As I watched this story unfold via social media and then mainstream media, I wondered where this was heading.  The community of breastfeeding moms and the people that support them that I have come to know so well, rallied to surround Jaielyn, her son, and her mom Betty to offer their support and to lend their voice to making sure we, as a society, walk the talk and help this little boy receive the breastmilk his mother wants for him even as she receives the education to be the best she can be for her son.  Both of their futures depended on it.  As the Breastfeeding Coalition of Delaware expressed in their letter to the school district: “No mother should ever be made to feel that expressing milk for her child is unusual, unnatural, or that requesting reasonable accommodations is an inconvenience to others.” The whole situation could have gone any number of directions.  Ugly and depressing, involving protests with harassment from officials like the situation with Hollister Co. and by extension some malls (ironically, some in Delaware).  Or beautiful and encouraging, involving education opportunities and an official change to better support families and breastfeeding mothers much like the case with Flamingo Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

Nurse-ins have their place and can be used well to effect positive change and to give a show of peaceful solidarity amongst mothers.  Something the world needs to see in a culture that exploits “mommy wars” for entertainment.  But as La Leche League Leader Heather Felker points out, “{there} is no problem with nurse-ins once all ‘peaceful’ routes have failed.”  As much as I love hanging out with likeminded moms that understand how breastfeeding has impacted my life and my family, the truth is, I’d rather it be “just because” than to make a statement.  So I hoped that this situation with Lake Forest School District would be resolved without the peaceful protest of a nurse-in.

Thankfully, it appears that our peaceful solidarity as a community of mothers doesn’t require a nurse-in event to bring about change.  Via Facebook, twitter, emails, and phone calls, supporters for not only Jaiylen and her son but for the rights of all mothers and their breastfeeding children utilized their voice to see that we do indeed walk the talk.  As a result the school district has changed directions.  They’ve pulled a Flamingo, not a Hollister.  And Jaielyn will have space within which to pump her milk for her little boy and, thanks to the efforts of local mom supporters, a small refrigerator is being donated so Jaiylen and other breastfeeding students can store milk for their babies during their school day.  Heather Felker says: “In this case we had a great deal of powerful support, newspaper, radio, breastfeeding coalition, LLL, and it turned around quite quickly.”

It may be tempting to make a statement and stage a nurse-in anyway.  There were some rumblings of something like that with the Flamingo case but there was no need because the company self-corrected and learned from their mistake.  If we want to be taken seriously then we must know when to utilize the tools available for maximum impact, including when not to.  A nurse-in at the Lake Forest School District would distract from the progress that has been made and could potentially lead to issues for the very student we desire to support.  If there was a risk of the teen mom being teased before, a nurse-in in her honor would more than likely provide enough fuel for teasing and isolating bullying until her graduation.  We don’t actually have to go fight this one because we used appropriate peaceful routes and have already seen the desired results.  And if it can be achieved without such measures as a nurse-in then we are moving ever closer to the dream that one day breastfeeding won’t even be on the list of things we fight for within society.

I’m grateful to see the community of breastfeeding supporters come together to directly benefit one mother and the school district taking steps that will benefit even more.  Proud to see that our voice of influence is helping a young mom to reach her breastfeeding goal.  Excited to see that yet another organization has been willing to learn from us and change in order to offer support that puts action to the lip service given.  So now we ask how can we celebrate these steps?  How can we applaud the organizations that learn from their mistakes and make appropriate changes?

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How can we better help teen moms successfully breastfeed?  What roadblocks can we work to remove to encourage these moms?  Have you experienced or seen someone experience lack of support or even hostility towards breastfeeding pairs?  Were peaceful paths used to change support and reach a resolution?