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{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo (this time two) – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your “moment” in the comments for all to find and see.
{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo (this time two) – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your “moment” in the comments for all to find and see.
The Breast Milk Baby (which has a Facebook page if you’re wondering) has people talking up a storm. My own family had a lot to say about the doll too and I interviewed them to get their thoughts on the matter. Public opinion is widely varied, while some think it’s a great idea and would love to get their little tyke one, others are concerned that it’s the start of a new sexual revolution of youngsters. They muse that perhaps the doll oversexualizes our daughters and may encourage teen pregnancy. But what I find myself asking is, isn’t children copying what they see their parents do normal? Isn’t breastfeeding the biologically normal way to feed a baby? Does this mean that all kids that pretend to breastfeed are doomed? And, if they are, how could it possibly be any worse than when I used to pretend Barbie and Ken had sex? More importantly, are we really so ignorant as a society on the biological function and distinctions between breastfeeding and sex that we can somehow equate the two?
Oh my word… what kind of message are we sending our little girls with this?!
Maybe that breastfeeding is how mommies feed their babies?
Perhaps we should evaluate the potential dangers of children pretending to breastfeed their toys. Surely with some careful study we’ll be able to determine the legitimacy of the over-sexualizing and teen pregnancy concern surrounding The Breast Milk Baby. I asked the Leakies on Facebook to send me pictures of their little ones copying their moms by pretending to “breastfeed” their “babies” to see if I could get a better grasp on the concern about children pretending to breastfeed. Looking through these photos I’m hoping to understand what could be so unhealthy, dangerous and abnormal about this type of pretend. We should ask these kids if breastfeeding “babies” is normal. I wonder if their parents are concerned, I mean, with pretending to breastfeed their toys is it possible they are being over-sexualized?
Hmmmmmm… I’m not seeing it here. Maybe the next one…
Well, she’s completely adorable but I don’t see anything that screams “teen pregnancy waiting to happen!” Maybe one of these?
Yeah, still not seeing it. Have to dig a little harder, I’m sure there’s something…
Oh, there! See, there’s trouble there! A BANDAID! You can tell she’s up to no good… feeding that teddy bear… so cute…
Look at these smiles, clearly they are enjoying this WAY too much, they’re going to want to get pregnant just as soon as they start ovulating in about 12 years! And after this I’m sure no education from their parents could counter that desire!
And these two?! Tandem nursing? WOAH! They think breasts are for feeding babies? They are going to be so sexually confused!
Ok, I’m just not getting it, they’re all cute but I’m not seeing anything to be concerned about. Maybe these will help me understand the hoopla.
BOYS pretending to breastfeed dolls and stuffed animals? Could you imagine if it was that Breast Milk Doll? These poor boys might actually think breastfeeding is normal and not mind “sharing” their partners breasts with their children some day. Heaven forbid!
Funny, all these little ones “breastfeeding” their dolls and toys don’t seem to be on the cusp of dangerous over-sexualization. They look like happy, normal children, children that see happy, normal mommies breastfeeding. Seeing as they are all quite a long way from their teen years I’m not seeing teen pregnancy rates threatening to climb to an all time high either. And I’m willing to bet by their teen years they will have developed other interests and won’t be in too much of a hurry to breastfeed their own children right away. If anything, all these kids pretending to breastfeed their toys really do make breastfeeding seem normal. Certainly nothing we should be scared of as a society.
Now how is that a bad thing?
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Does or did your little one(s) pretend to breastfeed their babies? Does it bother you at all to see children pretend that way?
{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo (this time two) – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your “moment” in the comments for all to find and see.
Broke down and did 2 instead of 1 again. Too hard to pick. Today’s moment brought to you by the Hipstamatic App on the iPhone.
Three weeks ago she took her first independent steps. Tentative and kind of shuffley, she did about 3 before dropping on all fours and crawling. And that was it. She wasn’t interested in more. Between plenty of arms to carry her where she needed to go and lightning fast maneuvers on her hands and knees, she just wasn’t in a hurry to move her 19 pound, 30.5 inch frame around by walking. Just the occasional effort of 2 or 3 steps, smiling at her audience as she performed her newest trick, Smunchie toyed with the idea of walking just to get a reaction from her family and it totally worked. I was more than fine with this, it made her seem like my little baby a little longer and after my first 2 girls I learned that late walking was actually a gift and saved me a few months of running.
Then this past Saturday it happened. I could see the shift. It wasn’t a game any more, it was a goal. She didn’t look to see who was watching and smile as she moved a couple of inches. No, she decided it was time, looked at where she wanted to go and walked. Within 24 hours crawling was only when she needed to go faster than she could manage walking and within 48 she was walking simply for the fun of it.
With that I’m officially breastfeeding a toddler, a 15 month old toddler.
It’s been a slow transition. I don’t consider 12 months to be the magic turning point from baby to toddler but rather when a flexible idea of milestones and behaviors emerge. She’s really a toddler now, gets her feelings hurt, picks her nose, shrieks “baba” when she sees another baby, is figuring out how to annoy her sister for fun and now walks. Also? She breastfeeds like a toddler. Today she shoved a board book down the top of my shirt, grinned and signed milk. Apparently I breastfeed a toddler AAAAAND board books.
I’m not going to try to convince anyone with this post that they should breastfeed their toddler, not this post, not this day. Maybe some other time. To be honest I’m not sure what there is to try to convince anyone about, to me I’m just feeding my baby still. Sure, she’s changed and she’s bigger but she’s still my baby and I’m still her boobies, er, mommy. But I will say that I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding toddlers. Smunchie isn’t my first toddler to nurse, 2 of her big sisters did as well. (The other 2 didn’t because I never planned to go past a year and, silly as it sounds, didn’t even know you could nurse a toddler. Please, do not ask me what I was thinking, I have no idea.) Breastfeeding a toddler is an adventure but one that I’ve always eased into because our babies don’t just change suddenly. Growing up doesn’t happen up over night, it’s a progression. Good thing too because giving birth to a toddler sounds like the worst thing ever. So while Smunchie did seem to just decide to walk one day everything leading up to this point was gradual, preparing both of us for this next stage. We’ve already made it past so much that this doesn’t seem weird in the slightest. Ok, maybe in the slightest because I can’t believe she’s this big already and could swear she was just born a month ago. So weird in that sense. Like buying size 5 shoes. Certainly not any more weird that cleaning snot off my boob and I’ve been doing that since her first cold at 3 months.
Some of my love/hate relationship of breastfeeding a toddler:
Love: Easing the transition of my baby growing up.
Hate: Lazy toddler latch.
Love: How comfortable and experienced we both are with breastfeeding by now.
Hate: How demanding or specific she can be about HOW she breastfeeds concerning position and me multitasking.
Love: The laughter and giggles we share when she’s at the breast like we’re telling each other secret jokes.
Hate: Fair weathered nursing- some times other things are way more interesting.
Love: The toddling steps up to me with a huge smile and signing milk.
Hate: That sometimes she’ll do that 4 times in an hour just because she can and it’s a new game.
Love: How she will gently touch my face and gaze up at me with the most wonderful and indescribable look in her eyes.
Hate: How sometimes she smacks me and giggles or tries to snatch my glasses.
Love: How if I’m already holding her and she wants to breastfeed she’ll sign “please” on my chest instead of hers. I melt.
Hate: How she can climb up and start trying to get the breast on her own if I’m sitting down and the melodrama that ensues if she doesn’t get it right away.
Love: Knowing that the milk that grew her to this point can still keep her growing and strong.
Thinking of Smunchie’s new status as a toddler I asked the Leakies on our Facebook page for some of their observations on breastfeeding toddlers including the fun and not-so-fun. Here are some of my favorites:
Aimee: Constant motion and constant distraction. As in, the baby is in constant motion and constantly distracted. 😉
Melissa: Fun – able to sooth owies and tantrums; not so fun – drive by nursing sessions.
Carla: The incessant ‘twiddling’ on the spare boob! Drove me to distraction!
Christi: The unintentional boob flashes.
Rianne: Being able to really tell you that they want to nurse. the way they really examine the breast before they nurse. also not worrying when LO is sick, and not really eating. As long as she nurses, I don’t have to worry at all.
Laura: I really liked how he knew what he wanted, and would stop everything at the end of his busy day to snuggle down and nurse. I hated how he would cry for “boobie” whenever he was told No or given a time out for something.
Jessica: I loved that I could fix any owie or any tantrum with a boob.
Kiel: This morning my 16 month old decided that it would be most comfortable to nurse while laying upside down…belly on my face. Then she proceeded to kick me in the head for a few minutes. That is about as bad as it gets….not so fun, but funny and totally worth it! She looked like she was trying to somersault at one point 🙂
Jennifer: The 30 second sessions all day because he can’t concentrate on any one thing longer than that! Lol favorite thing, when he looks at me and smiles while he’s nursing.
Claire: My son used to climb onto the lap and then want to feed standing with his bum stuck up in the air!
Jessica: My 21-month daughter can do a 360 without unlatching.
Rachel: Fun: nursing can fix any problem. Not-so-fun: toddler wants to nurse to fix every problem. 🙂
Fun: feeling close to my busy, active toddler. Not-so-fun: feeling overwhelmed by my demanding, needy toddler.
Fun: surprising myself by still breastfeeding at almost 22 months. Not-so-fun: the feeling in my gut when I think about her weaning.
I never planned to nurse this long, but I wouldn’t change it for the world now!
Christy: DS (17m) often brings toys with him to nurse. It’s fun for me to see what he thinks is that important that he needs it to nurse.
Kim: Fun: Instant cure-all. Not so fun: Toddler nursing acrobatics. Toes don’t belong in my eye!
Kimberly: The only cuddle time my on the go kid would give me.
Shalan: Fun: How he shows that he wants his milk (waves arms and also does a variation of the sign for milk). Not so fun: The acrobatics!!!
Monica: I wish my son (19 mos.) was one that only had 3-4 times per day that he nurses. Instead, he seems to be pulling at me ALL DAY, sometimes while screaming “Nuss! Nuss!” as he lifts my shirt wherever we are. But I do love how he will be earnestly nursing and pull off to say one or two words, only to go right back to nursing with a crooked smile. It is like he just has to tell me what he is thinking before he forgets!
Alexis: I love that he can respond when I ask “Do you want milk?” (he isn’t able to sign/ask for it yet), and I actually really find the 30 second sessions sweet, I love that he can latch himself on without my help these days, but the accidental boob flashes are maddening.
Lauren: It’s really great to be able to have breastmilk in her when she goes through any fussy eating stage. I always know no matter how much or how little she is eating that her diet is well-balanced.
Anneke: plenty boobnastics in here lol!
Amy: Not so fun…the unsolicited comments from EVERYBODY about whole milk and “are you STILL nursing!?! Yeah…what does it LOOK like I’m doing!?
Carrie: The best- it knocks her right out at the end of a long, napless day. It gets her back to sleep with little effort from me when she wakes through the night. It resets those toddler tantrums like nothing else will. It calms us both. 27 months.
Jade: Baby pilates!
Amy: Breastfeeding gymnastics is not cute, and that’s coming from a gymnastics coach!
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What about you? What do you love/hate about breastfeeding a toddler?
{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
{this moment} was brought to you by my iPhone camera.
{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
The post with way too many pictures.
I’ve worked out a schedule of sorts for the blog, something to aim for but not live by. Part of that is the Friday posts “This Moment” where I share a single photo without words of a moment from my week that I want to pause and remember. My moments are usually about my kids because in this season of my life that’s what I want to be sure I take time to savor. It’s easy to get buried in the business that goes with having and caring for children and I don’t want to miss those special moments in all the “organized chaos” of our lives.
I used to scrapbook. I imagine I’d still enjoy it but time and space to spread out are seriously limited so my scrapbooking supplies sit mostly untouched. Digital photography makes it easy, snap a picture and if you don’t like it, delete it, if you do like it, keep it. As a result I have thousands of photos. The problem is they are primarily from times I thought to bring the camera, mostly special events. But I want to remember the daily, the simple, ordinary, extraordinary moments in our family.
{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
The idea came from Soule Mama, the popular blog by Amanda Soule. I started it on my personal blog some time ago and then moved the ritual over to here. When I first started I really just liked the idea of having a simple photograph post every week and focusing on something I wanted to remember seemed so simple. What I didn’t expect was how much it would tune me in to my family. Thanks to this ritual I’m looking for moments. Slowing down long enough to appreciate them happening, being grateful for the gift each moment brings. The moments themselves may be fleeting but they leave a lasting effect in not only my memory but in the specialness of our daily lives as a family. Because I’m looking for moments to photograph I am catching glimpses of love, connectedness, joy, playfulness, sweetness, happiness, tender expressions, creativity and so much more. Moments that if I weren’t looking for them I may miss. Worse, I’d probably take them for granted.
Now every week I look forward to finding those moments. Collecting them like marbles to be pulled out and admired from time to time. Each week knowing I have a “deadline” of sorts to share a moment I’m more aware of them unfolding around me. But more than the pictures I’m collecting and sharing is the whole presence of being aware, of taking the time to look for and cherish such moments. Noticing those moments has changed how I see our lives. I am more aware, tuned in and grateful for so much that is precious and beautiful all around us, happening all the time. I smile more too just because I notice more things to smile about.
I’d like to challenge you to look for moments in your week. Keep your camera handy, doesn’t have to be a great camera, your phone camera is fine, and be on the look out for those special moments. They may surprise you, there may be far more than you thought. Pick one to share, which may prove to be difficult, and savor the moment. Your moment. Then share it with us here, comment on the thread of my weekly Friday “This Moment” with the link back to your own so we can share it with you. You never know, you may help someone find the hidden moments they’ve been taking for granted in their lives too.
A few moments that I’ve loved but weren’t selected to share until now, and these are just a few. The pictures aren’t quality photography, just what I happened to snap with my little Canon PowerShot or my iPhone (love the Hipstamatic app) and often in a hurry with someone pulling on my arm. But they are special moments none the less.
How do you hold on to special moments? What keeps you tuned in and aware of the beauty filling the ordinary? How will you find and remember moments?
{this moment} – A Friday ritual from Soule Mama, one of my favorite bloggers. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.
