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Tough Love Breastfeeding Support, AKA bullying, and the case of the stolen photo

January 30, 2014 by 35 Comments
by Jessica Martin-Weber

Sometimes tough love is necessary, sometimes people getting in your face, calling you names, and yelling at you totally works as motivation.  Usually motivation to punch them in the throat but hey it’s motivation.  Entire “reality” TV shows have been built on this premise: you can scream troubled teens onto the right path, personal trainers can belittle overweight individuals into exercise and healthy eating, and business moguels can rant apprentices into savvy executives.  In spite of all the studies that show that shaming doesn’t actually provide any kind of lasting intrinsic motivation, countless parents, self-help gurus, educators, and others in positions of influence and authority resort to shaming in a desperate attempt to inspire positive change.  Sometimes tough love really isn’t tough love, it’s a power trip down false-sense-of-superiority lane.

Even those purporting to support families.  Birth, breastfeeding, and, ironically, gentle parenting advocates, far too often resort to shaming other parents.  Because that makes sense, something negative is going to have a lasting, positive impact.  Undermining parents’ confidence surely is going to result in change for the better, right?

Wrong.

It may get your website page views, it may increase your “talking about” numbers on Facebook, it may even get people pinning your content on Pinterest.  But helping people?  Not likely.  Inspiring them to do something different?  Maybe but that may just be to ignore any information or support because it all starts to feel like an attack.  I’m not talking about guilt here (though wishing guilt on people is just nasty) but rather intentionally belittling, mocking, and dismissing others in order to induce shame and build a false sense of superiority.  Guilt is one’s own feeling and sense of grief over perceived wrongdoing (sometimes legit, other times not) so believing that what they did was wrong, shame is one’s own feeling and sense of grief over their personal ability of perceived wrongdoing (sometimes legit, other times not) so believing that who they are is wrong. Shaming is intentionally trying to make someone not only feel guilt but to internalize it as believing that somehow they are bad/lazy/stupid/unloving/pathetic/unloveable/worthless as a result.  Ultimately, shaming comes from a desire to see someone feel bad about themselves.

It’s disgusting.  And it doesn’t work to motivate people to change their actions.  It isn’t education, it isn’t support, it is really nothing more than abuse.

I’ve shared before that I’m not really passionate about breastfeeding.  I mean, I am, but I’m not actually passionate about breastfeeding.  What I am passionate about is people and personally, I don’t see how you can actually be passionate about breastfeeding but not be passionate about people.  To do so would mean that you care less about people than you do about being heard as right.  Do you know what happens with that kind of passion?  It hurts people and detracts from the message you are trying to promote.  That kind of passion becomes easy to dismiss at best, damaging at worst.

The Leaky Boob isn’t about that kind of passion.  The information, images, stories, and interactions we share are meant to inspire and encourage people. While we can’t control nor are we responsible for the emotions of others, we don’t intentionally try to manipulate others’ feelings.  Underlying everything at TLB is respect and the belief that with genuine support and information, women are perfectly capable as mothers to make the best decisions for their families based on the information and resources available to them in their individual circumstances.  We don’t assume to know what that looks like for anyone.

So it was with horror that we discovered an image of one of our own volunteer admins originally shared on The Leaky Boob Facebook page and then on theleakyboob.com had been turned into a vehicle intended to shame, belittle, and attack certain mothers.  An image that was shared to inspire and encourage, to give someone the platform to share their own personal story and breastfeeding journey, had been used as a vile expression of superiority intended to hurt others.  Words were applied to this image communicating the very opposite of what TLB and Serena, the woman pictured, stand for as a community.  Without permission, Serena’s image was used to spread a message she in no way condones aligning her with those that would bully others.

This message is not approved TAP serena

I’m not going to lie, I am incensed.  For my friend, for my community, and for those hurt by this image, I am outraged. Disgusted.

Mean people suck.  My friend Suzie at the Fearless Formula Feeder breaks it down beautifully.

The person that perverted this image stole Serena’s photo and manipulated it in order to send a shaming message to formula feeders.  In a statement to me Serena expressed that she felt violated and used.  Not only that, but as a woman that has both breastfed and formula fed, Serena’s own image was used to attack a group of women to which she belongs as well.

When I opened FB this morning to a message from a concerned friend with a link to this meme I was shocked. Shocked that MY photo, a photo of a tender moment, could be used in such a hateful, disparaging way. To see that it was posted 28 weeks ago only makes it worse. All this time MY photo has been circulating with such a hurtful message, a message that I would NEVER propagate. Belittling or negating someone else’s breastfeeding issues or choices is not beneficial for anyone. As mothers we all do what we believe is best for our children. Even though our opinions may differ due to choice or circumstance. I am not a breastfeeding martyr, I have used formula in conjunction with breastfeeding when needed. What was important was that I was able to mother my son in the way I wanted to, due to the SUPPORT I received. Support is something that was lacking in the making of this meme. I do not condone the use of my photo in this way.  ~Serena Tremblay

 

As far as we can tell, the image was originally posted to The Alpha Parent’s Pinterest board “Dear Formula Feeder,” don’t go check it out, it is a virtual collection of putrid hate filled shaming refuse.  Nobody needs to see that.  There has been no response to our two email attempts requesting the image be removed and destroyed (and never shared again) and so Serena has followed Pinterest guidelines to have the graphic removed.  We have tried to utilize respectful means and the proper channels to have this image removed and do believe that Pinterest will not allow the copyright violation to remain.  Still, simply having that image erased from Pinterest won’t be enough.  It has been seen and discussed in some circles, it’s message cutting and hurting and not helping anyone.  The Leaky Boob stands behind Serena that this graphic is not a message we condone.   The Leaky Boob, including Serena and all the volunteer admins hold to a very different set of values:

TLB creed

It is rare that I single anybody out for how they run their own website and social media presence.  I respect that there are different styles and a variety of people are attracted to those style distinctives.  I don’t have to get it or agree.  But this has gone too far.  Stealing an image and putting words to it that are directly opposed to the intent of the owner of the photo.  Standing against the oppression of others is part of my passion for people, so I have raised my voice to express concern and even outrage when I have seen supposed breastfeeding advocates resort to shaming in general and specifically with this same offender.  It is not the first time I have vocally opposed messages coming from The Alpha Parent and I agree with Amy West’s assessment of TAP’s “brand” of support.  This time though a line has been crossed and while I have long not tolerated any abusive messages in the name of “supporting breastfeeding” within The Leaky Boob community, now I am taking stand against any and all expressions of shaming in the name of breastfeeding advocacy outside of my own little space.

Why am I sharing this with you?  What can you do about it?  If you’re reading this and have made it this far you probably care at least a little about how babies are fed, the information moms receive, have an interest in parenting support, or at the very least watch online interactions with a passing interest.  To those ends then, consider how you are promoting shaming messages targeting others.  Here are some simple steps you can take to not contribute to the type of interactions that do nothing to make our world a better place.

  1. Don’t share or spread memes that mock, belittle, or promote the shaming of anyone.  This isn’t just a breastfeeding/formula feeding issue.  This is a human issue.
  2. Before you use an image, be sure you have permission and don’t create memes and graphics that mock, belittle, or promote the shaming of anyone.
  3. Question every image you see and the message attached with it, particularly online.  Everything may not be what it seems.
  4. If you “like” or follow any personality that regularly engages in such messaging, unlike and unfollow them.  Take away their audience and don’t align yourself with the hate they are communicating.
  5. NEVER share materials, even if they seem supportive, from a source that you can not verify as free of mocking, belittling, or the promotion of shaming.  Many of the breastfeeding support and education sources I follow share materials from The Alpha Parent because some of her content, particularly her older stuff, is pretty decent.  Every time I see one of these resources share content from her I cringe, it’s like leading lambs to the slaughter.  I loved her “anatomy of the toddler brain” post from a while back but there is no way I’ll share that with my audience, it would be irresponsible of me to do so.  Share responsibly.
  6. Ignore them.  It is tempting to take a stand and engage in heated arguments with those that thrive on putting down others, particularly online, but truth be told, ignoring them is far more effective in shutting them up.  Don’t engage.
  7. Consistently share and interact with messages that promote true support and eventually the attraction of the fight will fade.  Offer supportive support and if you find you are tempted to go on the attack, ask yourself why and what insecurities could be motivating you to do so.

I won’t be linking to The Alpha Parent here but I do encourage you to look through your social media channels and remove The Alpha Parent from your playlist if she is there.  My intent is not to shame The Alpha Parent or cause her any harm and I hope that she finds her own happiness that doesn’t depend on a false sense of superiority.  I hope we all can.

 

 

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding support, Facebook, Featured, formula, guilt, Jessica, off my chest, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Six myths about breastfeeding toddlers and preschoolers

October 4, 2013 by 19 Comments

Breastfeeding beyond the first year has been something of a hot topic over on The Leaky Boob page this week.  It started when I shared this image from Health Canada.

Healthy Canada extending breastfeeding image, breastfeeding is not just for newborns

The conversation quickly went from “YAY!” and “awww!” to “gross,” and “that’s sexual abuse of a child.”  You can check it out yourself here but it may not be too good for your blood pressure and that’s with having deleted the worst of the comments.  The next day I shared another related post presenting the perspective of a rather well-balanced 12 year old that remembers weaning at 4 years old.  That thread on Facebook got pretty ugly too.

As I read through the comments I was a bit puzzled as to what the outcry was about.  Putting the pieces together I began to see that it came down to what is really just some misunderstandings.  Myths about breastfeeding beyond the first year and the women that are willing to do so fueled these passionate (AKA really, really angry) responses to these posts.  Then the mothers that are fine breastfeeding beyond the first year were hurt, feeling judged based on myths that they did not find to be true of themselves.  Some got defensive.  And then more misunderstandings happened.  It was a vicious cycle.

To help clear up the misunderstanding, let’s take a look at some of the (surprisingly) common myths held about natural duration breastfeeding.

Myth #1: Moms that breastfeed beyond the first year and definitely into the 3rd year or beyond are trying to keep their children as babies and can’t let go and let them grow up.  If you don’t stop when they are young, they’ll never stop.

I’ve never met a parent that didn’t experience their child growing up and leaving various stages as bittersweet.  We go into parenting knowing that’s the deal, and let’s be honest here, we’re all looking forward to being done with diapers when the time comes even though we’ll be sad when they don’t quite fit to cuddle on our laps any more.  The moms I’ve talked to and from my personal experience, breastfeeding beyond 12 months isn’t about holding on to our child’s infancy, but there is a lot about embracing where they are in the moment.  If they still want to breastfeed, fine, no arbitrary date on a calendar they can’t read dictates their needs or our response.  As of yet there is no record of an adult needing their mother with them because they never weaned, really don’t think we need to worry about that.

Besides, breastfeeding a toddler or preschooler really is nothing like breastfeeding an infant.  Gymnurstics, squirmy excitement, multitasking, etc., one can’t be breastfeeding a toddler and think “aw, it’s just like cuddling them that first day!”  Even when they are falling asleep at the breast and miraculously still (and mom likely is falling asleep finally too) there’s nothing to confuse between those newborn tiny baby days where they fit into the crook of your arm at 7 pounds and the big ol’ toddler days with 30 pounds of limbs covering your lap.  I am never more aware of just how fast my daughter is growing up than in those moments and breastfeeding isn’t helping me hold on, it’s helping her hold on as she gradually transitions from baby to toddler to preschooler to school aged child.

Myth #2: Breastfeeding beyond the first year is for the mom’s benefit, not for the child.

This could only be said by someone that hasn’t breastfed beyond the first 12 months.  I can’t quite grasp this, I can’t get my child to give me a kiss, put on her shoes, or eat her food if she doesn’t want to, how in the world am I going to force her to breastfeed?  And why would I?  I mean, seriously, there are teeth in that mouth, for me to be willing to allow that mouth on my breast there has to be some very rearust established and I’m not going to risk getting bit just “for my benefit.”  And breastfeeding a toddler or preschooler isn’t all rainbow farting unicorns either, it can be very challenging and while I’m no martyr I’m also honest and realistic enough to admit that not only are there some special sweet moments breastfeeding beyond the first 12 months but there are also some crazy hard moments that I can’t stand.  Breastfeeding beyond the first 12 months isn’t for the mom’s benefit, it is for the mom and child’s benefit together.

Myth #3: Natural duration breastfeeding means a child won’t learn how to eat solids or use a cup.  Breastfeeding should stop when the child gets teeth.

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  Where did that idea come from?  Seriously, I can’t even begin to understand how someone made that rather large leap.  Some babies are born with teeth, some cut them as early as a 2-4 months.  Having teeth does not negate the nutritional and developmental requirements a child has.  Not all babies warm up to solids right away but generally toddlers grasp the concept of eating solids and drinking from a cup quite well.  One word for you: cheerios.  All my girls that breastfed beyond the first year were well into solids and drinking out of a cup by the time their first birthday rolled around.  Cake smashing was an event they enjoyed.  Avocado was a favorite first food as well as banana, sweet potatoes, and chicken, and more, all by the first year.  I have had my toddler finish at the breast and immediately sign “eat” or “drink.”  She’s not confused, she just wants to have her boob, her cup, her cake, and to eat it too.

So let me set the record straight: breastfeeding for long beyond the first 12 months will not inhibit a child’s developmental ability to eat and drink other foods.

Myth #4: Mothers that breastfeed beyond a year are trying to force all other mothers to breastfeed beyond a year even if other mothers are uncomfortable doing so.  Also, they judge any mother that doesn’t breastfeed beyond a year.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve got my hands full trying to get my own kids to do things, I have absolutely no desire to try and get anyone else to do anything else.  Sharing information and promoting conversation is great, I’m all for it, but I don’t have the energy to force anyone to do anything.  Breastfeed, don’t breastfeed.  You don’t need my approval and I’m not looking to give it.  You can breastfeed for 3 minutes, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years, I will support you.  You may not breastfeed at all and whatever your reason, I can still support you as a person and fellow mother.  My choices are not a reaction nor a judgment on yours.  The information I share is not intended to guilt or to shame, simply share.  Conversation is great but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, there are lots of other people that do.

So now that we got that cleared up, let’s be friends.  You take care of your kids, I’ll take care of mine.  If we can learn from each other and encourage each other along the way, that would be awesome.  If not… I bet there’s a place where you can find that and it will work for you and some place else for me.

Myth #5: Breasts are for sex so breastfeeding past 12 months is sexual abuse.  Breasts are genitals and having a child suck on them is pedophilia.

Just… no.  This myth is one giant ball of NO.  Stop and think about it for just a minute.  There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING that would constitute as sexual abuse at 18 months that was acceptable to do to a child at 6 weeks.  People, please.  No.  Breastfeeding doesn’t suddenly turn into a sex act simply because of a birthday (or two or three).  Breasts have a powerful sexual attraction to them, biologically men are drawn to find female breasts attractive in looking for a mate.  Which makes sense because if they mate, well, breasts will be needed to feed the end result of that mating.  Babies need boobies.  Men are attracted to a mate that can feed babies.  It’s all kind of linked.  That doesn’t mean a child suckling at the breast is performing some kind of sexual act.  GIANT BALL OF NO.  Children are not sexually mature and hopefully a 3 year old hasn’t been exposed to the lies from society telling them that a woman’s body is first and foremost for the pleasure of others and selling things and all they know is that their mother is safe and warm and her milk is for them.  Children do not understand the concept of sex, that would be projecting adult ideas onto them.  In other words: if you see breastfeeding as a sexual act you have your own issues to deal with and you should leave the child out of it.

Myth #6: Breastfeeding after 12 months will cause a child mental health issues.

Thankfully, while there is a rise in mental health issues amongst today’s teens, breastfeeding does not appear to be related.  At. All.  Is “extended breastfeeding messing up our kids?”  The answer is a resounding no.

I’m willing to bet that if these naysayers against natural duration breastfeeding actually met most mothers who practiced natural duration breastfeeding out with her child, unless her child was actually breastfeeding when the encountered them, they would think she was a normal, healthy mother lovingly caring for her children.

And they would be right.

Because she is a normal, healthy mother lovingly caring for her children.

Maybe breastfeeding beyond a year isn’t for you, maybe you’re uncomfortable seeing it.  Maybe it’s no big deal to you and you have enjoyed that connection with your own child.  Let’s let the myths go, they cloud the issue and distract from open dialogue, breaking down what could otherwise be a supportive, encouraging exchange of ideas in conversation.

____________________

What other myths have you heard related to breastfeeding past the first 12 months?  What has been your experience breastfeeding beyond a year?

____________________

 

Filed Under: Article, baby-led weaning, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, child led weaning, extended breastfeeding, Facebook, family, Featured, Jessica, The Leaky Boob, toddler, Weaning Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Black Breastfeeding Week: Interview with Cofounder Anayah Sangodele-Ayoka

August 27, 2013 by 1 Comment

by Kari Swanson

On August 25, 2013, the first day of the first nationally recognized Black Breastfeeding Week, I was excited to learn that one of the founding committee members, fellow breastfeeding advocate Anayah Sangodele-Ayoka, recently moved to the area where I live.  Anayah is a mother of two, a graduate student, co-founder of Free to Breastfeed: Voices from Black Mothers and Brown Mamas Breastfeed and a MomsRising fellow.  After a virtual introduction we made arrangements to meet for lunch and Anayah graciously agreed to let me interview her for The Leaky B@@b blog.

 

anayah_resizedTLB

 

Kari: Tell us about yourself and your personal breastfeeding experience.

Anayah: “I’m a mom.  I have 2 kiddos.  I’m a breastfeeding advocate.”

Kari: How did you become involved in breastfeeding advocacy?

Anayah: “I was nursing my oldest, now 3 years old, up all night in the early months and was intrigued by [breastfeeding]—it was so beautiful to me—and I wanted to know more about it, but outside of friends and family I didn’t see black women breastfeeding.  I wanted to talk to women who understand my life.”

In her search for like-minded women she was introduced to Jeanine Valrie.  Together Anayah and Jeanine created Free to Breastfeed: Voices from Black Mothers and the Brown Mamas Breastfeed Project .  Initially the Brown Mamas Breastfeed Project was created as a way to gather photos of black mothers breastfeeding, but Anayah and Jeanine discovered that the women who shared their photos were also interested in sharing their stories as well.  In part based on the research-supported assertion that narrative can be used to increase the number of women who breastfeed, they are currently expanding the Brown Mamas Breastfeed Project into a book, which is forthcoming.

“This book could be good for moms in areas where they are actually in the minority.… [especially if] they do not have online social networks.”

Working with MomsRising also gives Anayah a platform around issues pertaining to race and class, especially as they relate to breastfeeding and families’ economic security.

Kari: What do you see as some of the challenges black women in particular face when it comes to breastfeeding?

Anayah: “When we deal with a larger culture that positions breastfeeding as something white women do—or at least something specifically not black [that is a challenge].  The larger narrative is about white women, so even physicians don’t address it. [For an African American woman], she hasn’t seen it growing up.  It’s not something she is exposed to… She either had people who said nothing or were openly hostile about it.”

Anayah related that in her own experience she was threatened with being thrown out of a pediatrician’s office, because she was breastfeeding her baby there.  Most of the women in her community did not breastfeed, so even the pediatrician’s office was not accustomed to seeing a woman breastfeed.

“African American women are at increased risk of diabetes and breast cancer and breastfeeding can address it.  Breastfeeding is one of the only things a woman can choose to do to decrease the risk of breast cancer, especially the type that overwhelmingly kills black women.”

“I don’t even think it’s important whether or not black women’s challenges are unique. That we face serious and life threatening health conditions of which breastfeeding offers some support at such high numbers is enough to warrant attention. In mainstream media, breastfeeding is still discussed as a lifestyle choice and for African-American families, it’s much more serious than that.”

Kari: Tell us about Black Breastfeeding Week.  Why do you care so much about this topic that you helped to create a nationally recognized awareness week for the subject?

Anayah: “Kimberly [Seals Allers] had written articles about World Breastfeeding Week, but there was no traction in the community—not much ethnic diversity.  So, she wrote this piece about greater diversity.  I read the piece and decided I had to ask her about it.”

Fast forward to the ROSE Summit in Atlanta where Kimberly Seals Allers (of Kimberly Seals Allers’ Mocha Manual), Kiddada Green (of Black Mothers’ Breastfeeding Association), and Anayah met and decided to coordinate and launch Black Breastfeeding Week to bring attention to breastfeeding to their community.  Anayah pointed out that where “large campaigns can’t go deep enough” a more focused effort can.

“It’s not about physiology; it’s about social context,” she said.

Anayah described some of the historical social context related to breastfeeding among African American women, including the fact that black women have always worked outside of the home, quite often as domestic help for white families—caring for white children—and that formula was supposed to make it easier for them to be separated from their own babies.   In addition, a lack of support “across the board” contributes to low rates of breastfeeding among African American women.

Increasing the rate of breastfeeding among African American women will require “more than seeing some black faces sometimes.”  And it is vitally important to the lives of black women and their babies that the rate of breastfeeding be increased.

“Creating Black Breastfeeding Week was primarily about us raising greater awareness and pulling together forces among African-Americans for breastfeeding. We want to make breastfeeding part of other conversations we’re having on parenting and life in general, so we’re using this week to do it. The tweetchat on Thursday is a special effort that will help; when we have a major publication like Ebony.com and the top black bloggers supporting the conversation, we can reach more families than those who are already thinking and talking about breastfeeding.”

The first annual Black Breastfeeding Week is taking place this week, August 25-31.  For more information please visit:

Black Breastfeeding Week on Facebook

First Annual Black Breastfeeding Week announcement

Moms Rising Black Breastfeeding Week announcement

 

 

 

kariswansonTLB

Kari Swanson is a daughter, sister, wife, mother of two, librarian, member of Generation X and an admin for The Leaky B@@b Facebook page.   Kari blogs occasionally over at Thoughts from BookishMama.

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding support, Featured, The Leaky Boob, World Breastfeeding Week Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Instagram and the global village of breastfeeding

June 21, 2013 by 6 Comments

It is said that it takes a village to bring up a child.  Do you have a village?

Once upon a time community was found while foraging, working, washing, around the well, in the birthing room, through places of worship, then in salons, on front porches, over quilts, around suffrage signs.  Most never moved too far from the place where they were born.  Children grew up aware of the work their parents did, helping at times, involved.  With the exception of Victorian era stodginess, much about the reality of life was shared openly, families just lived and extended family and friends involved.

Today the global village has expanded where we find community.  No longer are the borders of our village confined to our geographical context, we find our place through social media with our past, present, and future, via our interests, concerns, and passions.  We learn about life in our context and far beyond, broadening our perspective and opening our minds to other ways of living.  By sharing the exiting, the mundane, the average, and the significant parts of life, people are finding their village again.  In a time when it is easy to be isolated and alone, the internet is drawing people together.

All this and more is what I love about social media.  I found my village.

#beautifulBfing

On June 8th, as I headed out for a date with my husband, Jeremy Beyond Moi, I quickly checked The Leaky Boob Instagram account but was already logged into my personal account which I checked first.  I noticed a comment on one of my photos asking what happened to The Leaky Boob account on Instagram.  Unsure what she meant a knowing feeling came over me and I entered the login information for the account and received this screen.

TLBigDisabled

Hoping it was a mistake but suspecting it wasn’t I tried again.  Then checked my email and saw no email from Instagram so I tried again.  After 4 tries I gave up.  The account was indeed disabled.  This part of my village was gone.

I’ve checked every few days since.  Gone.

I wasn’t sure I had the energy for this.  It’s not the first time The Leaky Boob has had issues on a social media platform and the fight was starting to feel wearisome.  With our eldest daughter preparing to leave for the summer, 5 other kids at home, and work, I was feeling swamped as it was without this issue.  But this is part of my community and not just mine but thousands of others as well.

We want our village back.

On May 23rd I received a warning from Instagram that The Leaky Boob account had been flagged but with no details as to why.  It was the third warning I received within a week.  All that was included was that I supposedly violated the terms of service, terms that are conveniently vague at best, intentionally nebulous for subjective interpretation at worst.  I emailed requesting they let me know what images I posted violated what terms of service and received no reply.

Instagram warning email

Shortly after this, inspired by Instagram’s own weekend hashtag projects and user Instagram_kids, I started a new hashtag on Instagram, #beautifulbfing to encourage more sharing of breastfeeding photos and informed users.  Posting about it I asked users to use the hashtag and I would select from those images ones to feature, or regram, just as thousands of other users and brands, including Instagram’s own account, do.  With each post, I credited the user that posted it and only used images from the #beautifulbfing hashtag.  The #regram is the only way to share other posts and functions much like the Twitter retweet, the only current option Instagram has to compete.  Every image I shared was of a breastfeeding mother and was within Instagram’s terms of service regarding nudity.  While I had forgotten the terms of service to not post images that weren’t yours, I didn’t feel this was a problem as I had permission to use those photos and had modeled this sharing of these images after Instagram’s own usage.

Instagram weekend hashtag

Instagram Kids

There were no further warnings between the May 23rd email and the account being disabled on June 8th as well as no response to my inquires about the warnings I had received.  I received no warnings after I began sharing the images from the #beautifulbfing hashtag either.  Nothing, just the account disabled.  On June 9th there was another form email that someone had flagged my account and if the terms of service were violated the account could be disabled but no details as to why or how to contact Instagram to dispute.  My account was already gone.

Many don’t understand why images of breastfeeding are shared online, I go into that in my post about my struggle with Facebook over the same issue and you can read that here.  And to go ahead and address the inevitable boorish “peeing and taking a dump are natural but nobody wants to see pictures of that” read this and remember, we’re not talking waste, we’re talking nutrition for a baby, something mothers spend a significant amount of time doing and it’s a part of her life… her life that she shares with her community.  Don’t understand?  Simply put though, moms need to see breastfeeding, it’s important.  Others need to see breastfeeding to put a stop to the dehumanization of women through the over emphasis on the sexual nature of the female body.  Sharing these images is important because we need to culturally encourage moms to breastfeed and go beyond just lip service and accept them fully in society without penalizing them by requiring them to hide feeding their children.  Society needs to walk the talk.  What I said about why share breastfeeding images on Facebook applies to Facebook owned Instagram as well:

Why  share breastfeeding photos on FB?  Some may feel it’s too private to share, I don’t.  In fact, I believe it’s crucial to share breastfeeding photos.  Gone are the days where breastfeeding is seen in the day in and day out living of our lives in a community, replaced instead with virtual communities found on Facebook, forums, and other social media platforms.  Social media and virtual communities need to be as multidimensional as the physical community or we lose ourselves as a society, relating to each other as a slick collection of data without the human and biological component that makes us alive.  We need to see breastfeeding in real life and in the virtual world that many of us relate in as our community.  This photo may seem obscene to some but to others it was inspiring and encouraging, leading some to even learn something about breastfeeding.

Women used to see breastfeeding all around them in their community, it is only fairly recently with the advent of artificial breastmilk substitutes or formula that breastfeeding was considered something to be hidden.  Not sure about that?  Check out the number of historical paintings of religious and nonreligious nature depicting breastfeeding as well as the historical photographs from even the Victorian era that include breastfeeding mothers.  We’ve lost that presence of breastfeeding in our community and today new moms see it in their online village.  Breastfeeding may be natural but it needs to be learned and it’s learned by seeing others feed their baby.

I don’t know exactly why The Leaky Boob IG account was disabled, I have received no response to my inquires from Instagram.  My best guess is that the many breastfeeding images, my own, were flagged by other users.  It is possible that Instagram decided to disable the account because of the #regram sharing, singling out The Leaky Boob to enforce this rule while blatantly ignoring it themselves and with other brands.  I don’t know.  But I do know that Instagram has shut down a resource that connected thousands of women and served as one of the avenues of the global village supporting breastfeeding.  In doing so Instagram has essentially said that breastfeeding women are not welcome and sends a conflicting message that may cause breastfeeding moms to question:

 

…if images of breastfeeding are inappropriate and not fit for her community to see, is it inappropriate for her child to breastfeed?  If she’s struggling and looking for her community for support but these images aren’t permitted, how is she going to work out that there can be a wide variety of normal in breastfeeding baby’s latches or any other variety of breastfeeding related questions?  How is she going to know that she’s not alone with how her little one behaves at the breast?  How else are moms going to get over the emphasis on the sexual nature of female breasts to just feed her baby when her very community shames and harasses her for sharing these images?  The message that is being sent is that you can have community, you can be marketed to within that community, but your personal experience with breastfeeding is shameful and not welcome in the community.  Which ultimately means the breastfeeding mother is not welcome in the community.

 

Maybe you’re uncomfortable seeing images of breastfeeding, that’s ok.  In time, with enough moms openly feeding their babies and sharing the experience with their village, you’ll get more comfortable with it.  For now though, just look away, scroll right past it, and remember that a woman feeding her baby is still a person and her child’s right to eat may just supersede your right to be comfortable.  And the law agrees with that.

Help us bring back The Leaky Boob on Instagram.  Instagram’s parent company, Facebook, has permitted breastfeeding images to be shared according to their terms of service, we need to pressure Instagram to do the same and to stop discriminating against breastfeeding mothers and the feeding children.

Instagram bring back TLB

What can you do?

Join the Facebook page: Instagram, stop discriminating against breastfeeding mothers and babies

Sign this petition.

Tweet and post on Instagram and Facebook using the hashtags #beautifulbfing #bringbackTLB #stopbfingdiscrimination #normalizebreastfeeding and tag @Instagram to let them know.

Share this post with your village.

Sharing breastfeeding images isn’t for everyone, individual comfort level may prohibit you from sharing.  But if you are comfortable sharing your breastfeeding photos, please do and we’d love to see.

Follow jmartinweber on Instagram for more updates on the situation with The Leaky Boob IG account.

______________________________

edited: In less than an hour of publishing this post and in only 20 minutes of sharing it on Facebook, I received the following email:

IG apologizes for mistake

 

While I’m grateful they acted fast to reinstate my account once I took this issue public, I’m not satisfied.  Nobody should be afraid their account will be suspended if they share breastfeeding photos.  Rather, Instagram needs to clearly outline in their terms of service that breastfeeding photos are permitted and have a system in place to be sure images and accounts are viewed after a flagging so as compliant accounts and images are not deleted.  Please continue to speak up for all breastfeeding women and let Instagram know their policy needs to change NOW.

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, Breastfeeding in public, Facebook, Featured, NIP, Photos, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Arm’s Reach and MommyCon Announcement and Giveaway

December 10, 2012 by

I’m headed to Vegas baby!  I’ve never been, true story.  But now Arm’s Reach Concepts has made it possible for me to meet up with a few hundred other moms at MommyCon– the boutique style conference focusing on natural parenting methods for everyone; single moms, career moms, stay at home moms, and even dads.  I get Vegas and hanging out with like-minded internet friends to talk about breastfeeding, parenting, birth, babywearing, sleeping, sex, growing up, and all other manner of topics related to life as a parent.  There’s even yoga.  Sugarbaby and I can’t wait!  While there I get to lead two sessions, one to talk about “Sex, Lies, Breastfeeding, and the Rest- finding fun and sleep amidst the realities of parenting” and another session called “Growing Together With Our Children“.  Even better, a designated private party to hang with other Leakies!

 

I’m thrilled that MommyCon has put in considerable effort to make this conference affordable.  Staying in a swank Las Vegas hotel AND workshops /seminars with fun and informational presenters such as Jamie Grayson, TheBabyGuyNY and all for a great rate.  At $110 for a single attendance registration and hotel stay or $150 family registration and hotel.  That great rate just got even better, read on for a discount code just for Leakies.  The price can’t be beat for a getaway in Vegas with friends.  It’s great to know that having my 8 month old Sugarbaby in tow at the time won’t be a problem either at this mommy centered event.  To register, go here.  To reserve your space at The Leaky Boob Meet-And-Leak private party on the 3rd, email jessica@mommy-con.com.

One of my favorite companies, Arm’s Reach Concepts, a company that helps families have safe sleeping arrangements, is not only partnering with me to make it possible for me to speak at MommyCon, they are sharing information for parents to make the right sleep choices for their family.  Joining me in Vegas, ARC places great value in supporting parents and producing great products that assist them.  It’s no surprise then that this company is staffed with incredible people that genuinely want to help families get off to a great start.  Innovative and dedicated this company isn’t afraid to think outside the crib which has earned them the endorsement of Dr. Jack McKenna regarding their co-sleeper design.

To get ready for the fun in January, we’re doing 2 exciting giveaways: a single attendance registration (winner is responsible for their own travel) and an Arm’s Reach Concepts Cocoon.  Both of these giveaway items are a great value and all about encouraging and supporting families.  It’s an honor and a pleasure to share these with you.

baby hammock, Arm's Reach, Cocoon

The Beautiful Dreamer Cocoon, a $140 value, is a new product in the ARC family of co-sleeping accessories.  Designed to mimic the feeling of the womb so newborns feel more secure, the hammock bed style Beautiful Dreamer Cocoon cradles baby closely and gently sways in response to baby’s movement.  Perfect for babies birth to 15 pounds The Beautiful Dreamer Cocoon is easy to move around the house, keeping baby close for naps while mom or dad accomplish tasks that need to be done in their day.  The Cocoon is for infants birth to 15 pounds or when child can rollover, whichever comes first.

Sugarbaby and I got to scope out The Beautiful Dreamer Cocoon this past October and while she was just on the edge of being to big for it, we were both big fans.  After spending 3 days on my back at a trade show, a fussy Sugarbaby was done being worn and settled right down when we tried The Cocoon.  In no time at all she was happily kicking and smiling at the soft toys bouncing above her.

Arm's Reach Concepts Cocoon, baby hammock

I talked with Xza Higgins from MommyCon and asked her to share the details of the registration giveaway and some background on why she started MommyCon and what Leakies could expect.

Xza:  MommyCon was founded to bring forward thinking parents together in an environment that promotes; learning, growing and nurturing our offspring.  A big part of why I started MommyCon, was because I was sick of attending mom events that talked about breastfeeding, babywearing, birth, etc. but then receiving a package of formula to take home with me and pamphlets on “when to ask for the epidural.” The seminars didn’t speak to me, and so I began planning babywearing classes, cloth diapering workshops, and car seat checks utilizing my like-minded friends knowledge and experts that I met along the way. I always felt like I was just at one big sales pitch, and that is why I’m dedicated to making MommyCon an event that moms from across the globe want to attend so they can mingle with other mommy’s and learn about things they are passionate about.

Our first event under the MommyCon title is MommyCon Mini and will take place  on January 4, 2013 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The main event will run from 10am-5pm, but we will have morning yoga for early risers and there will be private meet and greet the evening before with Jessica from The Leaky Boob. MommyCon registration is required to attend the meet and greet on the 3rd, and space is limited. You can email Jessica@mommy-con.com to reserve your space.

MommyCon, Las Vegas

Sample Schedule for MommyCon Mini, 2013

Red Rock 3

9:15AM :              Yoga – Mom and Baby

10:30AM:             Pre and Post-Natal Dance Class with Menina Fortunato

11:30AM:             Babywearing 101 & Wrapping

Lunch Break

1:30PM:               Pre-natal Considerations for Expectant Mom’s

2:30PM:               Car Seat Safety & The Best Seats for Your Family

3:30PM:               Tips for a Greener Home: Saving Money & Protecting Our Planet

 

Red Rock 4

10:00AM              Welcome! Mothering Through Breastfeeding

11:00AM                  The Leaky Boob Growing with Your Children

12:00PM               Cloth Diapering for Modern Families

Lunch Break

2:00PM                 The Leaky Boob presents Sex, Lies and Parenting

3:00PM                        Infant Massage Workshop with Amber Puzzi, LMT

4:00PM                 Jamie Grayson “The Baby Guy NYC” Best of Gear Seminar with thousands of dollars worth of giveaways!

Registration Opens at 8am

Shopping area is Red Rock 2 from 9:30am-5:00pm

Las Vegas hotel

You can register to attend MommyCon by visiting our website and clicking “attend.” We have single tickets, family packs and even hotel and ticket bundles. A ticket to MommyCon is just $50 for a day full of fun, learning and growing together. Children are all welcome to attend, but we do encourage babywearing instead of lugging strollers as there is limited parking for them.

The Leaky Boob readers can receive 10% off tickets and bundles by using code Leaky10 – prize can also be applied to existing MommyCon ticket purchase.

Website

Twitter

Facebook

To be entered for either of these great prizes, check out the widgets below.  Good luck everyone!  Hope to see you at MommyCon, 2013!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Filed Under: Breastfeeding, breastfeeding and sleep, Featured, giveaway, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting, sex, sleep through the night, Sponsor, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: , , , , ,

Up close and personal: Leakies Q & A on TLB, personal, and “other”

April 11, 2012 by

This is the last of what could have been called “more than you ever really wanted to know about me.”  I responded to your questions about pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding here and family, children, and work here.  In this post I answer some of your questions about The Leaky Boob, more personal questions, and the proverbial “other.”

Photography by Kelli Elizabeth Photography in Houston, TX

TLB, personal, and “Other”

Q: How do you eliminate negativity in your life?

When I figure that out I’ll let you know. 😉

Ok, that was a major copout answer.  I don’t eliminate it.  I’m an artist by nature, it’s a huge part of who I am and how I see the world.  I am prone to times of depression, part of the ebb and flow of life and a crucial part of the creative process.  For a long time I denied and suppressed that part of me but after one particularly difficult time with postpartum depression I’ve learned to embrace it.  By accepting negativity, including my own, for what it is when it arises I’m more equipped to leave it and not let it effect me.  Too much.  I have found that acknowledging it has made me see that there isn’t as much as I once thought.  Additionally I have learned to recognize it, identify the source, call it what it is, and if need be put boundaries in place.

Q: What inspired you to begin TLB?

You can read about that here.

Q: Tell us more about your faith – where do you go to church and can you tell us anything about your plans for Paris?

I am a protestant Christian with a huge passion for social justice and mercy ministry.  We attend a local Vineyard church and consider ourselves Christ-followers, not affiliated with a denomination.  Our plans for Paris have been delayed a few months due to the pregnancy (we’re already supposed to be there) but we are in non-profit arts, family, and social justice work.  Tentatively the plan is for us to be in Paris come late this summer.

Q:  What particular challenges did you face as a busy mom and writer? And what tips/tricks/advice helped you overcome those challenges?

Sleep.  Sleep is always my biggest challenge.  I’m a night owl but several of my kids are early risers.  When I’m not pregnant I overcome that with coffee.  When I’m pregnant, I fall asleep on the couch.  Often.  😉

What works for me is to be honest with myself and with The Piano Man about what I need and I expect the same from him.  I grew up seeing us kids as the center of my mom’s world and while that was really nice, it also made me feel responsible in the long run for her having a center of her world.  By the time I was a preteen I desperately wanted her to do something, ANYTHING, that was for herself and pursuing her own interests.  As a young adult I vowed not to have kids because I watched my mom flounder.  Not to mention the shock when the rest of the world wouldn’t let me be the center of their attention until I proved I deserved it.  There was quite the adjustment for me there.  So I’ve always made it a priority to have my kids see me into other activities that don’t involve them and I encourage them to pursue interests that don’t involve me all the while coming back to our center in our home.  It’s like a base, not a focal point, and where I’m grounded.  It’s where we regroup and energize, not what defines us.

Meal plans, not every day but for several of our busiest days a week help but still afford us the flexibility we enjoy in our cooking.  Enlisting the kids to help with housework and accepting that it may not always be done to my standards teaches them responsibility and life skills and helping around the house.  We require a quiet time for all of us to get some space from each other and actively work on our own projects be it writing, knitting, coloring, napping, etc.  Insisting that the girls play outside and me joining them there on a blanket with my work to keep an eye on them as they have free play.   They are regularly actively engaged in healthy play and having a rough schedule or rhythm that doesn’t control our lives but does provide a framework to stretch our canvas in order to live it really helps.  But most importantly, lightening up.  Relaxing.  Deciding what’s really important and learning to accept a certain amount of chaos.

Typical day?  Different every time!  But I promise we do eat, sleep, play, work, and love like crazy.

Q: What is the most rewarding thing you have experienced as a mother?

I’m really not sure I could narrow it down to one thing but I can say that seeing my daughters grow in independence, confidence, and with character I’m pleased to see developing, I feel the most encouraged in my parenting.  But there’s also just those moments of little arms flung around my neck, squeezing tight that feel incredibly rewarding, even more so because that’s not at all how they are thinking of it, they’re just expressing their genuine feelings.

Q: What’s your go-to-dinner? How do you take your coffee?

Go-to dinner: beans and rice with a salad.

Coffee: when I’m not pregnant I either like it with cream and sugar or a strong espresso, black.  Always fair trade.

Q: Do you have siblings? What is your relationship with your parents? Where did you grow up? How do you balance your work and your family? How are you so freaking awesome?!

I do have siblings, an older brother and a younger sister.  That’s right, I’m the middle child.  Bum-bum-BUUUUUUUM!  I live too far from my family and don’t do as good of a job as I’d like keeping in touch and staying connected.  My relationship with my parents is constantly changing.  It’s a good reminder that we’re all still growing.  There is a lot of love and though we don’t always see eye-to-eye, there is a lot of effort put into understanding and accepting our differences.  I grew up in Florida (Yankee South), born and reared there.  As to how I balance work and family, it’s a constant adjusting.  Just when I think I have it all worked out, something shifts and we have to reevaluate and re-tweak.  The key for us is to be flexible and maintain communication so we can adjust where and when necessary.  As for the awesome thing, my family could fill you in that I’m not so awesome.  😉

Q: Besides the amazing benefits of bfing for mom and baby, what compelled you to be such a huge advocate for bfing? Was there one specific person/event that made you realize this to be a passion of yours? What are some other things that define you as a person beside family and lactivism?

Believe it or not, it wasn’t about breastfeeding to me really when I started it.  It was about women, children, and families.  It still is.  Breastfeeding is just a piece of it, a piece I can talk about and facilitate a community where others can engage in a safe dialogue about breastfeeding… and more.  As for what are other things that define me, you can find more of those in some of the other answers to the questions here.  I’m passionate about so much!

Q: How did you got into knitting!!

Bed rest with #2!  Took me like 7 years to knit one scarf.  Then Earth Baby started knitting in school and I helped her with a project and realized I loved it and it just took off.

Q: What are you other passions besides all things breastfeeding, mothering, and blogging….?

The arts in general.  I’m very involved in the arts, went to school for music performance and also have a love for visual arts, theater, and the written word.  Helping people connect with the arts, use the arts, express themselves through the arts is a passion of mine.  Building up and encouraging artists is another.  Challenging artists to use their voice to help tell the stories of others, particularly the oppressed, is a big part of my life.  

Social justice, specifically related to human trafficking is my heart of hearts though.  It’s what fires me up like no other and is what breaks my heart over and over again.  

I’m also passionate about birth, building up women and girls, and sexual abuse issues.

On the lighter side, I love to read, knit, dance, ride bikes, sew, paint, and more.

Q: What inspired you to become such a passionate breastfeeding advocate? What were your thoughts and opinions on breastfeeding before you had children? And while i have your attention thank you for what you started. I would not be sitting here nursing my lo if i hadn’t joined your page shortly before becoming pregnant 🙂

Congrats on your breastfeeding!  So grateful TLB could be a part of that journey with you.

I figured I’d always breastfeed.  I remember being weirded out by a friend’s mom breastfeeding when I was a teen but when I voiced that thought to my mom I promptly got put in my place about how breastfeeding is normal and I better never forget it as I was breastfed until I was 2.5.  Though uncomfortable a bit with the idea when my turn came, I did feel it was the normal way to feed a baby so I got over it.

Q: When was the last time you peed in private in your own home? Cause, idk about you but I usually have a parade follow me into the bathroom followed by a play-by-play commentary…lol

Recently, actually.  They entertain each other so well lately that going with mommy to the potty the 25 times a day she goes has gotten boring.  The real challenge for me is to not have to yell something while I’m on the toilet: “wait, what are we climbing?  I don’t think so, don’t climb the doll stroller to get on top of the shelves!  I can get the toy, just let me finish peeing!”

Q: Are you Canadian?

Nope, never even been there.  I do plan to rectify that some day.  As my friend Cindy would say, I only wish I was that cool!

Q: Are you able to keep up with everything else, like cleaning, paying bills, friends, etc.? Or are you like me with a dirty house, stacks of paperwork, and little time for friends?

Like you!  I make time for friends though, it’s crucial to my personal health.

Q: Are you making money doing this, I noticed you advertise. Which is fine, just wondering! And if you become rich from this, can you promise not to change? : )

I do get money from the sponsors but not anything I’m going to be getting rich with any time soon!  But I won’t change, the DNA of TLB is pretty set, I like what it is and want to keep it going.  I have a pretty big vision for TLB, one step at a time but at the heart, it’s going to stay what it is.

Q: I don’t have a question, but many of the above questions have been running through my mind since reading your posts! I’m excited to hear your answers. There’s much to admire about you … especially that you’re raising such an obviously loving family but are also able to keep your art alive. I guess I do have a question: how do you find the time for your art pieces?

It’s slowed down some during the pregnancy though I picked up my brushes the other day to work on a family piece I’ve been conceptualizing.  I find time by letting other things go.  Involving my children helps too, they love to get set up with paints, brushes, paper or canvas, etc.  They do their work while I do mine.  It’s more clean up later but clean up I enjoy because the time spent creating together feeds my soul.

Q: I know you were a coffee drinker while bf are you while pregnant?

More like a coffee puker while pregnant.  😉

Q: You inspire many women, what inspires you?

All of the Leakies!  And my children.  And beautiful art.  And seeing things that I feel need to change.

Filed Under: Article, Jessica, Parenting, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Announcing The Leaky Boob Needs A Logo Design Contest!

August 10, 2011 by

Help me Rhonda!  Help, help me Rhonda!  Or Amanda!  Or Tania!  Or Matthew!  Or Wally!  Or Melissa!  Or Amy!  Or… ANYBODY!

I need a logo.


*Bad infomercial voice-over voice.* Are you a professional graphic designer?  Or just enjoy using the creative medium of digital art?  Like to sketch and doodle?  Whatever your background, let your creative juices flow and submit your design concept for consideration for the new logo of The Leaky Boob. *End bad voice-over voice.*

The Leaky Boob has been in existence for over a year now.  In that short time a lot has happened but one element still lacking is that of a real logo.  It’s high time I do something about that.

The problem hasn’t been a lack of desire but more a lack of inspiration and resources.  I’ve pondered long and hard, I’ve talked with friends (some marketing experts that just can’t believe I’ve gone so long without a real visual representation of the brand), I’ve tried a few drawings and considered hiring a designer.  But all of that is useless if I don’t even really know what I want.  So I’m turning to the Leakies and the fabulous TLB sponsors to rectify this situation.  A logo design contest with a cash price, gift certificates and products generously donated by The Leaky Boob sponsors.

The judging.  This contest is being judged by several of the participating sponsors and The Piano Man and I.  Our 5 beautiful girls will probably weigh in too.  Our judging will not be a reflection on anyone’s talent, artistry, or anything else, just reflect personal taste and what we hope a logo to communicate and reflect for TLB.

The style.  I like a clean look and I’m not into fussy or cutesy at all.  TLB was started with the idea of a pub where breastfeeding moms could hang out, swap stories, encourage, vent, cry, celebrate, find help and chill.  Something classic (like breastfeeding) yet modern (like a trendy coffee shop) would capture the kind of feel I’m going for.

Edited to add: Submissions have been coming in and there are so many neat ones!  A few observations after reviewing the submissions we’ve already received that may be helpful.

  • The name of the site, The Leaky Boob, is already very imagery based and I’m finding I don’t feel it needs to be illustrated in great detail, if at all.  The feel of the site, not the what it’s about is what I’m wanting the logo to help communicate.  It doesn’t need to scream “breastfeeding!” we’ve already got that covered with the name.
  • “TLB” is great but I do want the actual words too, whether it’s underneath, above, in the design, etc.
  • I really, really, really like clean, non-fussy designs.  It is possible for it to be too cluttered.
  • Though I don’t want it cluttered, I do like detail, just not distracting detail.
  • My favorites have been easy to read.
  • I like creativity a lot.  Thinking outside of the box, something different and surprising tends to grab me.  Maybe because that’s what I hope TLB already is.  😉
  • I’m going to be using this logo on business cards, think about how your design would look on a business card as well as the website, bags, tshirts, etc.

 

The @ symbols.  I don’t care either way.  They are kind of a TLB thing now but I’m really not married to them.  They aren’t required, use them in your design if you’d like or don’t, either way it’s up to you.

The Color.  Because I like flexibility and I like color, use color.  But I would discourage you from having the design based on color in case we want to change the color.  Ask yourself will it look good in a different color?  Black and white?

The image.  I’m really not sure if I want an image or just text.  That’s why I’m reaching out to you.  At this point there isn’t a tag line (tag lines make me uncomfortable, I could use a different one for each day!) just the name and maybe “a breastfeeding pub.”  If you come up with an image, symbol or even tag line that you think is just brilliant, go for it, you could just win us over with your creativity.

The sponsors.  We have amazing sponsors.  Generous, supportive, encouraging, and genuinely interested in breastfeeding and The Leaky Boob.  Without their support TLB wouldn’t be around any more.  I’m so incredibly grateful for all their help and that TLB can help connect quality businesses with our readers.  The sponsors of this contest are:

A Mother’s Boutique ~ Bellamama ShowerHug ~ PumpEase ~ Bamboobies ~ Wild Mother Arts ~ Lollidoo Diapers ~ Hip Mountain Mama ~ My Little Market/Mommy Jewelry Sturdy and Purdy 

 

 

The Prizes.  There are 2 prizes; a grand prize and a runner up.  The winner and runner up will be announced on the website.

 

Grand Prize:

$200 cash.

Bamboobies $50 gift card to the store

Hip Mountain Mama $25 gift card to the store

Wild Mother Arts: $50 gift certificate to the store

PumpEase: PumpEase Prize Pack = PumpEase Organic, Do Not Disturb door hanger, Breastmilk Storage Guidelines fridge magnet and a Nursing Mother Goddess necklace. ($72 USD value)

Showerhug: Belmama bundle (Showerhug, 3 luxury wash cloths, 3 luxury burp clothes) ($60 value)

Lollidoo: A Lollidoo cloth diaper ($40 value)

My Little Market/Mommy Jewelry Sturdy and Purdy: $50 gift certificate

 

Runner up prize:

A Mother’s Boutique: $50 gift certificate

My Little Market/Mommy Jewelry Sturdy and Purdy: $50 gift certificate

 

The Contest details.

  • Entries are due by midnight CST August 24th, 2011.
  • Artists may submit as many entries as they wish.
  • Designs must be original work, not used elsewhere.
  • The Leaky Boob may request additional modifications to the original design.
  • Entries are to be submitted via email to logo@theleakyboob.com
  • All entries must be accompanied by a statement from the artist certifying that they are the author of the material they are submitting to theleakyboob.com.  The Leaky Boob and it’s licensees may reproduce, distribute, publish, display, edit, modify, create derivative works and otherwise use the material for any purpose in any form and on any media.  Any submission neglecting this statement will not be considered.
  • Please include your name, address, phone number and email address with your submission.
  • Group submission are permitted but TLB will not be responsible for determining the distribution of the winnings and will ship to only one address.

Thank you all so much and good luck to all the entrants!  I can’t wait to see what we get for submissions, have fun!

Filed Under: Jessica, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: , , , ,

The 3rd Dimension of Breastfeeding – Communication and Community

August 2, 2011 by

It’s World Breastfeeding Week.  Some ways I will be celebrating:

  • Breastfeeding
  • Writing
  • Interacting on TLB’s Facebook page
  • Participating in Holistic Moms Network’s World’s Biggest Breastfeeding Twitter Party
  • Talking with friends, family and probably complete strangers about breastfeeding
  • Breastfeeding related shout outs on my Facebook pages
  • Working on the new look and resources for theleakyboob.com
  • Sharing guest posts

The main way I'm celebrating WBW 2011- breastfeeding Smunchie

The theme set for World Breastfeeding Week 2011 is “Talk to me!  Breastfeeding- A 3D Experience.”  On worldbreastfeedingweek.org the 3 dimensions of breastfeeding are explained as “time (from pre-pregnancy to weaning) and place (the home, community, health care system, etc)” with an emphasis on the 3rd dimension of communication.

This 3rd dimension of breastfeeding is really what The Leaky Boob is all about, particularly communication within the context of community because it’s in that context that communication can unfold in ways that come alive through personal experience.  In fact, I believe that without community a good portion of all the right communication in the world falls on deaf ears.  Communication within community has one crucial and weighted piece: relationships.

Of all the ways I’m participating in WBW 2011 celebrations perhaps the most important are the ones that keep building up community that fosters dialogue.  Dialogue that doesn’t just include currently breastfeeding women but rather extends beyond those women and related health care professionals to invite those no longer breastfeeding to share, to reach men, youth, children and women that never will breastfeed and include them in the conversation.  This dialogue isn’t profound, it’s just normal, every day conversation.  Like breastfeeding is a normal, every day activity.  But dialogue isn’t just talking, it’s listening too.  The stories, concerns, fears, happy memories, uncomfortable and awkward exchanges and sometimes even the uneducated, misinformed opinions of those we’re communicating with.  In listening, really listening to these I usually discover how I can fine tune my own communication further while providing support and encouragement.

Tonight I’m looking forward to participating in what is hopefully going to be the World’s Largest Breastfeeding Twitter Party hosted by the Holistic Moms Network.  You can find the party happening at #BigBFParty (I suggest using tweetchat.com or some other site to help you participate in the party)
As communication and community unfold this evening at 10pm EST I hope that this 3rd dimension of breastfeeding grows further to inhabit not just one hour or one week but our regular, every day life through out the year and in time develops into normal, every day conversation with the normal, every day people in our lives.

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How are you celebrating and participating in World Breastfeeding Week?

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For some reason my hyperlinks aren’t working.  So I’m going for the direct, old fashioned way.

World Breastfeeding Week: worldbreastfeedingweek.org

World Breastfeeding Week Press Release: http://worldbreastfeedingweek.org/pdf/wbw2011-pr.pdf

Holistic Moms Network #BigBFParty: http://holisticmomsnational.blogspot.com/2011/07/support-missing-link.html

The Leaky B@@b Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/TheLeakyBoob

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, Jessica, The Leaky Boob, World Breastfeeding Week

Belated Blogiversary Post

April 14, 2011 by

March 25, 2011 marked 1 year of The Leaky Boob.  One year!  So much has happened in the past year, a lot of exciting developments and most importantly, supporting a lot of breastfeeding moms.  I feel honored and blessed to help support women and families.

When I started The Leaky Boob it was really just kind of on a whim.  I had read some disparaging comments on a news article about breastfeeding in public and for days it bothered me.  Eventually I sat down and wrote this post as a satirical response.  I posted it on my now terribly neglected personal blog and got an interesting and enthusiastic response.  An idea began to simmer of a blog that would be primarily about breastfeeding but open to other topics related to parenting, a place to support and find support.  Thinking of a pub as a spot where friends meet and swap stories, dispense advice, hand down local bits of wisdom and where travelers find safe haven and refreshment along the way I began to envision a community as an online pub for breastfeeding moms and the people that support them.  Where the good, the bad and the ugly would be shared equally.  Where the reality that we’re all in need of support meant condemnation and arrogance were left at the door.  Where someone could “cry into their beer” and someone was always around to listen.  Where humor was an important part of relaxing. Where disagreements could be had but friendships remain intact.  Where what we had in common brought us together more than what we didn’t could drive us apart.   And where the sounds of laughter, the aroma of honesty and the comfort of good friends made everyone welcome and called out to those passing by.  A place where everybody knows your name…

It wasn’t long before I was humming the Cheers theme song and coming up with ridiculous booby puns as I went about my day.  I’m pretty sure my family thought I was crazy.

Eventually, after celebrating The Storyteller’s birthday on that March 25th I decided to do it, to make it happen.  The name had been bouncing around my head for weeks at that point, a story in and of itself that I have to credit my children for, and it was just a matter of creating the blog and making the first post.

I didn’t think it would go anywhere.  While I had been blogging for years on my own various blogs, I knew nothing about promoting or marketing and I wasn’t sure how much I even had to say on the topic of breastfeeding.  Originally I thought I’d have 2 or 3 blog partners and hoped we’d get to the point where we’d be doing reviews and maybe a few giveaways and sharing cute stories.  I never thought it would do much more than that if it even got there.  Plus, I wondered how much I could possibly have to say on the subject of breastfeeding.  I was pretty certain I’d run out of ideas for material in 6 months and would be reduced to sharing those terrible booby puns I was coming up with.

But friends shared it and one helped me create the Facebook page right around my birthday, two weeks after creating the blog.  I can’t remember how fast it happened but I was shocked to see 300 people had fanned our page.  Shocked and excited.  Then 500.  Then 900.  Then 1,000.  It hit me, people needed this.  Really, really needed it.

So I decided then to see what I could do with it.  How The Leaky Boob could help more and more women.  I didn’t know what I was doing and had no idea how to go about what I thought I wanted to do but I knew one thing for sure: building up women and developing community is something I’m passionate about.  I could do that.  Whatever The Leaky Boob could be or would be as long as it did those 2 things I would be happy.

And so here we are.  A little over a year later now and over 19,000 “Leakies” on Facebook and a global community supporting women and families.  I started The Leaky Boob but it’s the community that made it.  Every time I think I’m in over my head and am overwhelmed with all that I can’t get done, someone shares on The Leaky Facebook page how this community saved their breastfeeding journey or helped them develop confidence in their parenting and I am encouraged to keep figuring it out.

Today things continue to grow and change and breastfeeding moms and the people that support them continue to find support and encouragement through The Leaky Boob.  I’m proud to say we’ve been through a lot already this 1st year but in demonstrating the power of community and the strength of women, we’re better for it.  I’m better for it.  My deepest gratitude to so many that have helped along the way; Sheri Wallace from Organic PR, her husband Chuck with Core Data Recovery, Silencia and Kathryn from Motherlove Herbal Company and the Nurturing Life Foundation, countless twitter and Facebook friends, encouragement from Bettina Forbes, so many amazing blogging friends, Dandelion, and all of the incredible sponsors that support The Leaky Boob.  Most especially to the volunteer admins that go above and beyond helping to run the forums and the Facebook page, my husband Jeremy who endures me talking about TLB constantly, my children for giving me great material to write about and above all the 19,000+ breastfeeding women and the people that support them that make TLB what it is.

I can’t wait to see what the next year brings!

P.S.  You know what I think would be a great way to celebrate TLB’s 1st birthday?  Follow us on the Google friend connect and/or Networked Blogs, thanks!  Then, share with a friend so they can find support as well.  Thanks!

Filed Under: Article, Facebook, Letters from The Leaky Boob, The Leaky Boob
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