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The Leaky Boob
The Leaky Boob is a resource centered around baby and toddler feeding and throughout the entire parenting journey run by a lactation educator and parenting and relationship coach.
Check out our sister podcast: For Tits and Giggles.
TLDR; the hardest part of parenting is teaching our children about the harm men will cause women. ![]()
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How do you tell your daughters about the realities of a world where there are websites and forums to teach men how to take advantage of them?![]()
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I’ve had thoughts like this before. As a parenting educator and parenting coach, I teach on this regularly. But every time a new horrific reality gets enough attention to be brought into public awareness, I have to ask myself these questions all over again.![]()
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How exactly do you explain such horror to them?![]()
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If you were to ask me what part of parenting I dislike the most, this is it. Not diapers, not cooking dinner every night for eternity, not the relentless “why” questions of 4 year olds like “why do the dinosaurs on the moon only eat strawberries,” not the repetitive march of picking up the same toys (and trying to teach them to clean up after themselves), not the bad attitudes of preteens, not navigating homework or debating why we have to keep our rooms clean, or anything else we are willing to talk about as a society that is hard about bringing up children.![]()
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This is the part of parenting I dislike the most. Teaching them about the realities of a world where there are websites and forums to teach men how to take advantage of them. That there are men that find pleasure at the idea of harming them. That they shouldn’t have to be vigilant to keep themselves safe from other humans but because we don’t teach boys to NOT do these things, we have to teach girls to be aware that they could be a target of such an individual at any point.![]()
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I have 8 daughters and one son.![]()
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***Side bar, you better believe we are actively teaching ALL our children to not be the kind of people that cause harm to others and cultivating the kind of awareness in them that is disgusted at the dehumanization of any individual so they could never see or watch something like that for their own entertainment and pleasure and though our son is only 2 right now, he is being taught in age appropriate ways about bodily autonomy and safety and we are actively modeling with him what consent looks like.***![]()
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Talking with my 16 and 18 year olds about the online academy where guys share tips and videos of how to incapacitate their female partner while she’s unconscious in order to use them and even film it to sell to others was one of those gut punch conversations. They are old enough to read the article themselves and one of them had already come across it on social media. They had thoughts. ![]()
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But mostly they had anger and resentment that this is the world they are stepping into.![]()
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We discussed staying grounded and centered as a way to listen to their guts, to trust the signals their body and mind sent them about the people they interacted with. We talked about what it really takes to build trust. They shared their thoughts on identifying red flags. They had some astute observations and more clear boundaries than I did at that age. I cautioned about self-blame if things happened and they miss red flag signals since predators can often be very charming and blend in, even using love bombing to lure them into a false sense of safety. We agreed that the only ones really responsible were the ones exploiting others. We explored what to do if it happens to them and made agreements on how their dad and I will respond if they disclose something to us. Our discussion included the social isolating techniques predators often employ combined with the different ways controlling behavior can present. We reluctantly talked about best practices for safety like always having a buddy, never accepting a drink or food from someone you don’t know or you didn’t see prepared (with the exception of a server delivering your food order) and keeping track of your beverages while out, etc.![]()
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All conversations we’ve had before in an ongoing fashion for years. Evolving discussions that never really stop. This one just included warning signs of the person you have vetted and trusted enough to believe was a true partner but was actually taking advantage of you in your sleep.![]()
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I also shared the people I know personally that this had happened to. Women I know want me to share their story with others because they don’t want it to happen to anyone else. My best friend, another close friend, and my own mother.![]()
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Our discussion isn’t over. We will likely be having such conversations for the rest of our lives.![]()
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I hate this part of parenting.![]()
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I do it because I love my children.![]()
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Their anger and resentment is understandable. They are right to be angry and resentful.![]()
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I shared this observation with them and they asked one of the hard questions I’ve struggled with my whole life:![]()
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“Why isn’t everybody angry and resentful about this? Why aren’t the “nice guys” that act hurt that we have to be careful around them angry and resentful at the ones that do this? Why do they take it out on us?”![]()
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I wish I had an answer for them that was more than “because our society cares more about protecting the influence of the powerful than caring for the vulnerable ones they use.”![]()
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Parenting in a world that enables predators and silences survivors is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.![]()
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***Pic of two of my amazing, strong, intelligent daughters playing darts on a recent outing of my bigger kids and me.***
If a woman doesn't trust a "safe" man she is called a hater. ![]()
If she does trust an unsafe man she's called stupid.![]()
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Either way women are the ones blamed.
What do you think people need to stop saying to new parents?![]()
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Love this list from Rebecca Michi - Children's Sleep Consultantltant, these could all go away and not be missed!
testimonials
"If you've ever had a child or been a parent you know what it means to say that each day is a new experiment. There is so much to figure out, and so many self-proclaimed helpful resources. Fortunately, Jessica Martin-Weber, owner/creator/author of The Leaky Boob, has the answers based on science, best practice, and practical advice stemming from her own experiences raising nine children. TLB is a go-to for all people expecting, lactating, raising children, or counseling any of the aforementioned groups. Want advice on speed dial? Check out TheLeakyBoob.com."
Kim Updegrove, MSN, MPH, APRN, CNM, chairperson and Past President of Human Milk Bank of North America, Executive Director at Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin
"I found TLB and Jessica when I was desperately trying to figure out how to keep breastfeeding my eldest, who my lactation consultant still says had the worst latch she has ever seen. Jessica had created something so special-amazing information, a supportive community amidst the mommy wars, content in many different formats for those of us who need to see/read/hear in different ways, and it is no exaggeration to say that her work was instrumental in not just saving that breastfeeding journey (which would extend through 3 years, 18 months of that tandem nursing) but in setting me up for success and support in future journeys, and truly for motherhood as a whole. The down to earth way she writes makes the information relatable and easy to digest and apply. I am forever grateful."
Dr. Jennifer Stone, PT, DPT, OCS, PHC, TPS, HLC
"The Leaky Boob has met a need in the lactating community since its inception. Jessica’s breastfeeding support group is a true pioneer in the online breastfeeding community, offering families exceptional education and unwavering support long before similar pages emerged. Her transparency, authenticity, and heartfelt encouragement create a safe and empowering space where parents feel heard and guided. It’s a shining example of what real, compassionate leadership looks like!"
CHRISTY JO HENDRICKS IBCLC, RLC, CCCE, CLE©, Doula
Hi there!
Jessica and Jeremy Martin-Weber are the dynamic duo behind The Leaky Boob, a trusted resource dedicated to supporting families on their parenting and breastfeeding journeys. As parents to nine children, they bring a wealth of personal experience, humor, and compassion to their work. Together, they have created a safe, inclusive space where parents can access evidence-based information, practical advice, and a thriving community.
Jessica leads with her passion for normalizing breastfeeding and empowering families, while Jeremy provides a supportive voice for partners and caregivers, fostering collaboration and connection. Their shared mission is to celebrate the uniqueness of every family's story and provide resources to help navigate both the joys and challenges of nurturing little ones.
