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The Leaky Boob
The Leaky Boob is a resource centered around baby and toddler feeding and throughout the entire parenting journey run by a lactation educator and parenting and relationship coach.
Check out our sister podcast: For Tits and Giggles.
I wish we talked about grandparent privilege more.![]()
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Do or did you have grandparent privilege?![]()
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Growing up, I did. At least in part. It was pretty great. My mom didn’t as a child but she did as a parent.![]()
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My children do not have much grandparent privilege and as parents, their dad and I don’t have much either.![]()
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What is grandparent privilege?![]()
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Present, engaged, supportive, helpful, and connected grandparents. Grandparents that show up, help, invest in the family with emotional availability, time, and maybe even money.![]()
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I have learned that having grandparent privilege is a game changer.![]()
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I grew up a mile from my maternal grandparents. While my mom’s dad was grouchy and difficult to please, he adored me. My maternal grandmother helped run errands, babysit, pick up groceries, drive us to activities, and paid for our music lessons and summer camps. I rode my bike to their house when I was old enough and would practice piano there for hours. Us kids helped with chores around their house, earning change for weeding, mowing, and cleaning out the garage (somehow they were ALWAYS cleaning out the garage). They occasionally voiced concerns (such as when my parents joined a cult) but mostly were quietly supportive and actively engaged. My dad’s parents were much less available due to distance (his mother lived in another state) and his dad’s alcoholism but there were cards and gifts and occasional visits. His grandparents, my great-grandparents, were there though. We saw them regularly, spent time with them, they would “babysit” (though as we got older it sometimes seemed like us kids were taking care of them… which was fine, they had a steady supply of sugar and old TV shows we were allowed to have at home). All of them shared some kind of wisdom, knowledge, and perspective through the connection we had.![]()
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There are so many happy and connected memories I have with my grandparents. Their support was always palpable in meaningful ways (well, not the alcoholic grandpa).![]()
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My children don’t have much of that. Living in different parts of the country and at times in different countries has made connection hard, financial barriers to travel got in the way of closing the gap, and very different ideologies and world views leading to conflicting values made putting the effort into trying to breech those barriers even harder. My parents honestly don’t know what to talk about with me and my children and we run out of conversation quickly. The highly critical and judgmental presence of the grandparents on both sides when they were around hasn’t been motivating either. The boundaries we’ve set gradually over time in response to concerning behaviors of the grandparents have been particularly challenging for 3 of the grandparents, my parents and my husband’s dad. The limits we hold about respecting our children’s bodily autonomy (not forcing physical affection), refusing to connect with my parents if they are under the influence of alcohol (both my parents have struggled with alcohol), declining gifts with significant strings attached, and no longer setting our children up for the heartbreak of broken promises and no-show visits have been considered intolerable and offensive to those 3 grandparents in particular. All this has created anemic grandparent relationships for our children, particularly with their maternal grandparents and paternal grandfather. It has taken time but my kids do have a bit of a connection with their paternal grandmother, she has put effort into learning how to connect without judgement and tries to be present in ways that are meaningful. She has been willing to learn and honor the boundaries we hold for our children that has made her feel safe for them and for us, it isn’t exactly always easy but it is enjoyable to spend time with her (y’all, she does SO WELL with respecting their bodily autonomy and when she asks for a hug and they decline she will either simply say ok, maybe later, offer an alternative like a high five, or move on and ask them to show her something they’ve been doing lately… she gets shown a lot of crafts and dance moves).![]()
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My friend has incredible grandparent privilege. Her grandparents were present and involved in her life as a child and now her parents are present and involved in her children’s lives. She has both sides of the privilege, as a child and now as a parent. It is a wonder to behold. She talks regularly with her mom and can even complain about her stress to her and she is validated and supported. Both sets of grandparents are emotionally available to the kids, listening to their woes and frustrations without criticism. The grandparents don’t always understand their parenting choices but they respect them and have no problem honoring the limits that have been set. Her parents and his parents alternate taking the kids once a week for date night, both sets will go to all the games and performances, both sets help with school pick up and drop off, both sets come for dinner and have them over for meals too, both sets pitch in to pay for activities, her mom goes on school field trips as a volunteer, and her parents host an annual “cousin camp” where all their grandkids come spend a week at their house during the summer. ![]()
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I don’t know where she found these unicorn grandparents but I admit, I’m a little jealous.![]()
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I love my parents and the truth is they don’t have much by way of grandparenting capacity. ![]()
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It used to hurt me but any more I’m just sad for my kids and my parents. I’d love help but mostly I wish they could have each other in safe relationship. That just isn’t an option.![]()
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So my children are growing up without grandparent privilege and it is a loss. They see what some of their friends have in grandparents and wish for that for themselves. Though most of their friends don’t have a whole lot of grandparent privilege either.![]()
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I wish we talked about this more. As my husband and I navigate a world that demands more of parents and children with less family support we are also supporting our children through missing relationships that simply aren’t available to them.![]()
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So we’re talking about it. What we’ve learned having 9 children with no grandparent involvement and what lessons we are noting for ourselves for us to apply if ever we have the privilege of having grandchildren.![]()
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***Pic of my husband with our son and my husband's mom![]()
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#GRANDPARENTSMATTER #grandparents #grandma #parenting #Grandkids #grandparentlife #grandpa #grandkidsareablessing
There are different types of people that will look at this.![]()
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There are those that will not notice anything but a preschooler being cuddled and falling asleep.![]()
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Some will think he’s too old to be cuddled to sleep.![]()
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Some will think it is sweet.![]()
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Some will relate to cuddling a toddler to sleep for a nap.![]()
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Some will miss cuddling a toddler to sleep for a nap.![]()
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Some will snark “I would never give up my time to cuddle a child that old to sleep.”![]()
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Some will snark“Do you go with him to school to cuddle him for a nap?”![]()
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Others will weirdly leap to “he’s too old, next you’ll be going with him to college to cuddle him to fall asleep.”![]()
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Some will be confused by the sight of a securely attached preschooler and responsive parenting.![]()
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There are those that will realize the preschooler is actually cuddling and nursing to sleep.![]()
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Some will think and maybe comment that it is good to see a toddler being lovingly cared for.![]()
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Some will be warmed and encouraged by the sight of a securely attached preschooler and responsive parenting.![]()
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Some will comment with silly emojis like cows and pigs or vomit faces.![]()
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Some will relate to nursing a toddler to sleep for a nap.![]()
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Some will miss nursing a toddler to sleep for a nap.![]()
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Some will snark “I would never give up my body to nurse a child that old to sleep.”![]()
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Some will snark “Do you go with him to school to nurse him?”![]()
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Others will weirdly leap to “he’s too old, next you’ll be going with him to college to nurse him there”![]()
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Some will call name-call and say it is abuse to still breastfeed a child.![]()
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Some will say they see danger and pretend to be worried about the child to justify their shaming of the mother.![]()
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Some will see something unfamiliar and be more concerned and outspoken about this and transgender children playing sports than they are about the Cornell 57 and the Epstein files.![]()
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#EPSTEINFILES #breastfeedingjourney #toddler #secureattachment #parenting #naptime
testimonials
"If you've ever had a child or been a parent you know what it means to say that each day is a new experiment. There is so much to figure out, and so many self-proclaimed helpful resources. Fortunately, Jessica Martin-Weber, owner/creator/author of The Leaky Boob, has the answers based on science, best practice, and practical advice stemming from her own experiences raising nine children. TLB is a go-to for all people expecting, lactating, raising children, or counseling any of the aforementioned groups. Want advice on speed dial? Check out TheLeakyBoob.com."
Kim Updegrove, MSN, MPH, APRN, CNM, chairperson and Past President of Human Milk Bank of North America, Executive Director at Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin
"I found TLB and Jessica when I was desperately trying to figure out how to keep breastfeeding my eldest, who my lactation consultant still says had the worst latch she has ever seen. Jessica had created something so special-amazing information, a supportive community amidst the mommy wars, content in many different formats for those of us who need to see/read/hear in different ways, and it is no exaggeration to say that her work was instrumental in not just saving that breastfeeding journey (which would extend through 3 years, 18 months of that tandem nursing) but in setting me up for success and support in future journeys, and truly for motherhood as a whole. The down to earth way she writes makes the information relatable and easy to digest and apply. I am forever grateful."
Dr. Jennifer Stone, PT, DPT, OCS, PHC, TPS, HLC
"The Leaky Boob has met a need in the lactating community since its inception. Jessica’s breastfeeding support group is a true pioneer in the online breastfeeding community, offering families exceptional education and unwavering support long before similar pages emerged. Her transparency, authenticity, and heartfelt encouragement create a safe and empowering space where parents feel heard and guided. It’s a shining example of what real, compassionate leadership looks like!"
CHRISTY JO HENDRICKS IBCLC, RLC, CCCE, CLE©, Doula
Hi there!
Jessica and Jeremy Martin-Weber are the dynamic duo behind The Leaky Boob, a trusted resource dedicated to supporting families on their parenting and breastfeeding journeys. As parents to nine children, they bring a wealth of personal experience, humor, and compassion to their work. Together, they have created a safe, inclusive space where parents can access evidence-based information, practical advice, and a thriving community.
Jessica leads with her passion for normalizing breastfeeding and empowering families, while Jeremy provides a supportive voice for partners and caregivers, fostering collaboration and connection. Their shared mission is to celebrate the uniqueness of every family's story and provide resources to help navigate both the joys and challenges of nurturing little ones.
