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The Leaky Boob
The Leaky Boob is a resource centered around baby and toddler feeding and throughout the entire parenting journey run by a lactation educator and parenting and relationship coach.
Check out our sister podcast: For Tits and Giggles.
I get why Nona Willis Aronowitz penned an opinion piece about how baby formula saved her marriage. "The secret to marriage equality is formula" she announced.![]()
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I haven't read it, I don't have a subscription (if you do and would be willing to share a gift article with me so I can read it, I'd really appreciate it) but I do get the sentiment.![]()
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Working with my clients every day, I can see how this could be the case for some. At least, for a time. With our clients, my husband and I are solution-focused and help them identify practical solutions in everyday situations that help them reach their goals and I can see how baby formula would be something some may consider. I can even see how it could seem to make a difference.![]()
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Since I haven't read it I can't comment on the piece itself nor what Nona's experience was. I don't know.![]()
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What I can say is that hasn't been my experience nor what I've seen. More importantly I can say that if formula is what makes a relationship equal and saves it then it’s probably not going to last.![]()
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Because if baby formula is the solution, the issue is just a symptom and the real inequity lies deep down below. The inequity was there before the baby and will be there long after the baby has weaned.![]()
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There are plenty of marriages that are imbalanced in workload and lacking equity where the children are/were formula fed. ![]()
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There are others, like mine, that are balanced in workload and equitable where the children are/were breastfed.![]()
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The issue isn't how babies are fed, it isn't even how the relationship functions, those are all symptoms. The issue is rooted in deep beliefs around relationships, roles, gender, parenting, connection, responsibility, and labor. The issue is perpetuated in a lack of skills and refusing to grow.![]()
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Formula doesn’t address those difficulties that perpetuate the problem. ![]()
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And if it seems to then it is just because having a baby and then feeding the baby highlighted a specific aspect of the core problem.![]()
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Formula is for such a short time and so is breastfeeding in the grand scheme of things in a child's life. If there is inequity in the relationship and formula seems to fix it, it will show up in other ways later.![]()
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For me, breastfeeding highlighted how balance shifts, an engaging, involved, evolving act. Balance, in any relationship, isn't static. Balance requires intention, effort, and attunement.![]()
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Breastfeeding meant I had to sit down and pump or nurse. I had to not do some things. Through the whole 2+ years of breastfeeding most of our 9 children, I rarely made breakfasts for our kids or myself and only a couple times a week made any other meals. My husband handled that. He saw that me feeding our baby added more to my list of responsibilities and took my time and energy, so he made sure he took on more of the other responsibilities I typically carried.![]()
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We did talk about it but only after he just started doing it and I had to wrestle with my deeply ingrained internalized misogyny and cult upbringing garbage about women's work and serving men and blah blah blah gross boring tired troupes. It was me feeling like I was messing up and being insecure that my husband was acting like a mature, fully functioning adult that led us to talk about it but I never made him a list, I never told him what to do and when and how, I never explained how much time and energy it took to feed out babies (he has functioning eyes, he could see that for himself), and I never had to express that I was recovering from a difficult pregnancy and child birth. He didn't take for granted the impact and cost to me. He saw me and valued me. I didn't have to convince him, he was already attuned and taking personal responsibility for the life we created together with our family. Our discussions were about priorities and collaborative decision making but I didn't ask him for help or tell him what to do.![]()
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But I get it, I can see how when inequity in the workload in a relationship where there are children to care for runs deep, formula can seem like the answer. The equalizer.![]()
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My caution is that if that is the case, the root issue is still there and it will find another way to express itself. Such issues always do.![]()
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This, like the issues in the relationship, isn't actually about formula or breastfeeding.
Some experience intense negative emotions when their milk lets down, called D-MER. This very real condition is not well understood but can undermine someone’s baby feeding goals. #mentalhealth #postpartum #breastfeeding #lactation #baby
Another sad horrifying story of a breastfeeding mother being ripped away from her breastfed baby and toddler.![]()
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This was summer 2025. Links in the comments.![]()
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It's wild how supposedly this administration isn't going to ignore the rule of law but isn't releasing the Epstein files according to the law.![]()
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Thankfully the mom in this situation was eventually reunited with her family. My heart breaks for them in how this traumatized all of them and impacted breastfeeding.
testimonials
"If you've ever had a child or been a parent you know what it means to say that each day is a new experiment. There is so much to figure out, and so many self-proclaimed helpful resources. Fortunately, Jessica Martin-Weber, owner/creator/author of The Leaky Boob, has the answers based on science, best practice, and practical advice stemming from her own experiences raising nine children. TLB is a go-to for all people expecting, lactating, raising children, or counseling any of the aforementioned groups. Want advice on speed dial? Check out TheLeakyBoob.com."
Kim Updegrove, MSN, MPH, APRN, CNM, chairperson and Past President of Human Milk Bank of North America, Executive Director at Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin
"I found TLB and Jessica when I was desperately trying to figure out how to keep breastfeeding my eldest, who my lactation consultant still says had the worst latch she has ever seen. Jessica had created something so special-amazing information, a supportive community amidst the mommy wars, content in many different formats for those of us who need to see/read/hear in different ways, and it is no exaggeration to say that her work was instrumental in not just saving that breastfeeding journey (which would extend through 3 years, 18 months of that tandem nursing) but in setting me up for success and support in future journeys, and truly for motherhood as a whole. The down to earth way she writes makes the information relatable and easy to digest and apply. I am forever grateful."
Dr. Jennifer Stone, PT, DPT, OCS, PHC, TPS, HLC
"The Leaky Boob has met a need in the lactating community since its inception. Jessica’s breastfeeding support group is a true pioneer in the online breastfeeding community, offering families exceptional education and unwavering support long before similar pages emerged. Her transparency, authenticity, and heartfelt encouragement create a safe and empowering space where parents feel heard and guided. It’s a shining example of what real, compassionate leadership looks like!"
CHRISTY JO HENDRICKS IBCLC, RLC, CCCE, CLE©, Doula
Hi there!
Jessica and Jeremy Martin-Weber are the dynamic duo behind The Leaky Boob, a trusted resource dedicated to supporting families on their parenting and breastfeeding journeys. As parents to nine children, they bring a wealth of personal experience, humor, and compassion to their work. Together, they have created a safe, inclusive space where parents can access evidence-based information, practical advice, and a thriving community.
Jessica leads with her passion for normalizing breastfeeding and empowering families, while Jeremy provides a supportive voice for partners and caregivers, fostering collaboration and connection. Their shared mission is to celebrate the uniqueness of every family's story and provide resources to help navigate both the joys and challenges of nurturing little ones.
