by Jessica Martin-Weber
This post made possible by the generous support of Beco Baby Carriers.
When I was pregnant with our second child, I was pretty good at keeping a journal for our first born with regular entries sharing not only what she had done and milestones she had reached but also my feelings along the way. First child/new parent kind of thing, I’m not even kind of keeping up with journals for the girls now, they get about two entries a year. A few of my entries from those early days record both my excitement and concern about adding a child to the family, all normal thoughts when adding a new baby. Worried about how I would love another child as much as my first born, wondering how I would be able to give both the attention they deserved and I thought required, anxious about possible jealousy as a result, and afraid that my children wouldn’t get along. That last one was one of my greatest concerns. My own relationship with my siblings up to that point had been tenuous at best and I wasn’t sure how to foster a bond between my own children that would invite them to have a meaningful relationship with each other beyond “hey, we’re family, you’re supposed to love each other so get along.”
Today our 6 girls share a bond I could never have imagined and my relationships with my siblings is improving. Though they have their share of squabbles, necessary interactions for learning how to manage conflict and establish boundaries (we utilize the Peace Path for helping our children develop conflict management skills), all six of our children have a connection they each treasure and actively cultivate which for all of them began before the new sibling was even born. It hasn’t always been easy and there was a period of regression with our first when our second was born and we all laugh at how when our third came along her big sister regularly asked if the new baby could go back in my tummy for a few months. But these minor hiccups have only served to strengthen their relationships, not weaken them. As Erica E. Goode said:
Sibling relationships – and 80 percent of Americans have at least one – outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust.
![Our eldest, 15yo Earth Baby, babywearing our youngest, 20 month old Sugarbaby in a Beco Soleil with our second youngest, 4yo Smunchie, babywearing her own baby in a Beco Mini.](https://i0.wp.com/theleakyboob.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/A-Sibling-is-a-friend-Beco.jpg?resize=529%2C529)
Our eldest, 15yo Earth Baby, babywearing our youngest, 20 month old Sugarbaby in a Beco Soleil with our second youngest, 4yo Smunchie, babywearing her own baby in a Beco Mini.
Encouraging their connection has been intentional on our part. As their parents, we have learned how us valuing their relationship helps them to value it as well, and truly valuing it, not having expectations of simply getting along to keep the peace. Respecting their individual yet communal needs to develop their ties based on their own personalities and interactions in order to have authentic relationships because they want to, not just to make us happy, has given us all the space needed to know not only ourselves but each other. We’re still learning but here are 6 of the lessons we have learned as we journey this path together.
- Positive talk. Before our children are even born we talk them up to their older siblings and their older siblings up to them. It’s not fake either, we honestly believe that they are incredibly lucky to have the others in their life and that our children are some outstanding people, we can’t wait for them to meet each other. Hearing us not only talk positively about their siblings but of them to their siblings is inspiring and confidence building. We continue this long after birth. I will never forget when our then 5 year old lovingly whispered to our 4th baby at a few months old as they were on the bed together while I cleaned up after a diaper change where she had assisted me as I talked her up to her baby sister: “mommy is right, I DO love you lots and lots. I will never stop loving you.” Cue happy mommy tears.
- Play Games together. From the earliest age with rhymes, massage, peek-a-boo, and finger plays, connecting through play bridges age gaps and interests. This Little Piggy, the Itsy Bitsy Spider, and other repetitive rhymes are perfect, even toddlers and preschoolers can enjoy sharing those with a younger sibling and may spare you some repetitions. Don’t let siblings replace your own play time with baby, but involving older siblings and giving them one on one time to play together will have a lasting impact on their relationship. Try some other creative activities as well, older siblings will love sharing these experiences of play together. Our bigger girls always love making the newest baby laugh, it’s a treasure to share and games are an active way of connecting. As they get older they build their game playing repertoire from recognized free-style games (hide and seek) to structured games (Candy Land) to made-up games that become family favorites. Games can be a family affair but some of the deepest connecting times happen with one on one games. Which brings me to my next point…
- Get out of the way. It can be so easy and in many ways necessary to never leave your children to interact on their own together, particularly with a very young baby. While it is important to supervise young children with an infant, giving them the space with you present to touch, play with, and connect with a new young sibling will have lifetime pay off. Sitting on the couch well supported by pillows and mommy and daddy’s trusting encouragement at as young as weeks before turning 2 years old, each of our 5 big girls have glowed with love as they held their newborn baby sister. As the get older, trusting them with their younger siblings even more, letting them do caregiving that we typically assume such as diaper changing and babywearing develops their own confidence and connection. When the youngest is old enough we begin encouraging quiet times and naps with a sibling. Our 20 month old and newly turned 4 year old share a room together now and one recent evening I heard the toddler cry out and by the time I got to their room they were cuddled up together in one bed sleeping peacefully. They still join us in our room early every morning for a few hours but they have the giggles of going to bed together and the comfort of each other through the night. Getting out of the way can be hard, finding a balance between safety and providing opportunity can be challenging (and do make sure everyone is safe) but more than likely it will be letting go of your own desire to control that will be the most difficult to overcome. Though it may mean things won’t be done exactly how you would do them or there may be a bigger mess as a result, getting out of the way will allow your children to develop their own experiences together and define their relationship together outside of their parents. Worth any cleanup required.
- Nurture their nurturing side. Children, at least young children, like to emulate their parents and caregivers. This aspect of their development is crucial to their learning life skills. Helping with household chores, copying parents leisure activities (i.e. reading), and mimicking caring for babies and small children. Dolls and plush toys can help meet this need but don’t limit it to pretend. Even very young children can help with caring for their younger siblings in simple ways. Toddlers can give kisses, help with bathing (wash baby’s toes with the wash cloth!), fetch toys and other items, perform to entertain baby (my toddlers love to dance for their baby sisters, not sure the littlest was ever impressed but the big sister felt important in that moment), offer comfort, and participate in snuggles. There is something about a toddler gently patting a baby saying “it’s ok baby” that makes me melt. Preschoolers can do these same activities plus play games with the baby, listen for baby to wake from a nap (hopefully not wake baby from the nap…), assist with feeding times*, distract a slightly older baby when upset or a parent needs to go to the bathroom, and many more activities based on their capabilities. We have even let our preschoolers babywear their new siblings briefly with us right there to support. It can take more time and it isn’t always exactly helpful but it is special. School aged children can step it up even more including watching younger siblings for a parent to take a shower, introduce new games, babywear, respond to the baby’s cries (my bigger girls will actually call dibs on getting a crying little one), cuddle them when sick or tired, take them for walks, and more. Be respectful of their capabilities and don’t expect them to take your place, our children know they can always refuse opportunities to take on these responsibilities and sometimes they do but overall they enjoy the chance to be the one extending care.
- Gifts to share. We don’t expect our children to share their personal belongings out of obligation but we do intentional have quite a few play things that don’t specifically belong to any one person. Be it a bottle of bubbles to share together or a kitchen set, having playthings that belong to all of them and are more fun when shared with others encourages interactions together which goes a long way to securing those sibling bonds.
- Dolls and plush toys. Copying mom and dad in caregiving helps little ones recognize the dependency of infants and toddlers as they care for their own “babies.” My children have used their dolls to work through their own issues with their siblings, creating scenarios of jealousy or frustration that they coach their “children” through. This important play helps them with their own feelings. Transitioning the youngest to being a big sibling when a new baby is on the way is supported by encouraging them to care for their own babies and when they don’t get to be worn as often as before the new baby, having a carrier for their own baby makes that transition so much easier.
I love watching our children together. My heart nearly bursts as I see the love they share. So strong is their connection sometimes I feel like I’m intruding. They will have conflict and at times jealousy but with empathy and conflict management skills the basis of their relationship will remain strong and true. Our children are blessed to have each other and we are, in turn, blessed that they have each other. Having multiple children may not be for everyone, certainly having a large family like ours is not right for all parents, but the friendships our children have built in through each other is one of the best things we’ve ever done for our children.
To see more of our 6 daughters’ interactions, follow me on Instagram at jmartinweber.
I don’t believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at. – Maya Angelou
*Breastfeeding assistance can include helping mom get anything she needs, keep mommy company with a story, share a snack with mommy, etc. Those that bottle feed can include preschoolers and older children in the feeding times by helping them give a bottle and instructing them how to do so and sharing the experience with them. My babies have all received bottles at times when I had to be away from them for work reasons, left in the care of daddy or another trusted caregiver, their big sisters have loved getting to give them a bottle when I was away. Once solids are introduced, be it baby-led solids or baby food, sharing the adventure of new tastes and textures can be a lot of fun for everyone.
To celebrate fostering sibling bonds, Beco Baby is giving away 6 sets of carriers in honor of our 6 girls and the connection they share. Each prize pack includes a Soleil ($140 value) and a Beco Mini ($30 value) to encourage your bigger littles to practice their nurturing and copying mommy and daddy. Use the widget below to enter the giveaway and happy bonding, happy babywearing to your family! Open to USA residents only.
I have a 20 month old daughter and a new baby on the way in April! I love these tips, especially talking up the older sibling to the soon-to-be baby. What a lovely way to encourage bonding while building up the older sibling! Thank you for this post 🙂
I had my fourth baby this year. Any time any of the other kids ask to hold him I let them without question. I want their bond with each other to be the most important to carry for their lives.
I have 4 girls. I teach my children that every child is a blessing and that they will always have best friends with there sisters.
We just have 1 now, but we’re due with #2 May 1, so I’m looking to steal some of these great tips for bonding =) DD (just barely 2) loves to “listen” to mama’s belly right now. Almost every day she tells me that she’s going to teach the new baby to crawl and change his/her diapers – she really likes talking about the poopy diapers lol so hopefully she’ll want to help as much when this baby actually arrives.
I love the idea of babies wearing babies to help with adjusting to a new sibling 🙂
I have two children, my oldest is 4 and my youngest is 2. They are pretty tight, and I hope that they never loose that. They do a lot of things together at the house and are rarely seen without each other. We are expecting our third baby in March. They both love talking to my belly and cuddling with my belly. They both like to kiss my belly goodbye when I leave for work (my husband drops off the kids at daycare). I have always wanted a larger than two family. I am hoping to keep up on trying to do as much as we can together.
we found out on Christmas we are expecting our second after 2 years of trying…
I have an almost 3 year old girl, a 17 month old boy, and am expecting a baby girl at the end of January 🙂 We teach in our home that we love and respect and help our family, and guide them with gentleness and peacefulness as much as possible.
I try not to get in the middle of fights, because it teaches them to solve problems. I have 3 kids ages 1-4 yrs.
My little one is 14 months old, and we are talking about when to start trying for our next one. I had a great relationship with my brother, but my husband has one good and one bad relationship. This was really helpful for me to read to get our Little Bear prepped for a sibling, and gave me hope that they can be as close as my brother and I were. Thanks!
Great blog! Lots of helpful tips :0) Thank you!
I have a 2 and a half year old daughter and a newborn son. We love reading and singing together. Big sister also loves to help take care of baby brother!
Baby #2 will be here any time now, big sister is just 16 months old. I know she doesn’t totally ‘get’ what’s going on, but I have high hopes that the transition will be easy and they’ll be the best of friends!
I’m currently pregnant with my first but we’re planning the second in short order because we got off to a late start with babies and siblings are important to both my husband and me.
We’re expecting a new little one in June. I am looking forward to seeing my son as a brother.
I have a 21 month old daughter, a teenage stepson and we are about to have a new baby any time now. I love seeing the little one interacting with our teen, and am so excited to see how the toddler reacts to the baby!
We have baby 3 coming. My girls are so excited for the baby. We just constantly try to keep them included. Telling them about the baby, finding out the gender as a family (had our 4 year old read the card). They throw out “good” baby names, etc.
We have three children, ages 7.5, 6, and 3.5. We are expecting #4 in March-woohoo! My favorite tip from this blog is to get out of the way and let the kids interact with each other 🙂
My brother is my best friend and I’m hoping our kids will grow up and feel the same way!
I only have 1 child so far. I have always planned to have more. Although I find my own siblings trying at times, I love then dearly. We celebrate each others triumphs and mourn each others losses. When we add to our family it will be the introduction to a live-in playmate that will help make baby 2 a welcomed addition.
I have 2 kids and one on the way in april ! i love when my kids wanna help out with the baby , they are so cute . glad to see this post because i really needed advice!!
We have a 4 year old and 4 month old. It has been hard for my oldest to bond with his sister. Since she has started laughing he loves to make silly faces and laugh with her. We have just let them bond on their own terms encouraging positive interaction.
I have a 3.5 yo boy and boy #2 due any day now! My son loves giving his baby brother hugs and kisses already. These are great tips! Thank you!! I’m looking forward to watching and helping to cultivate their bond!
I have a 10 yr old daughter, a 7 yr old son and a almost 21 month old son. With another girl on the way in three months. We read together for bedtime to bond. Reading has always been a wonderful time for us… it was for me growing up with my 5 siblings!
We’re pregnant with #4 now and juggling personalities and making sure everyone is heard and respected can be difficult. I try and foster a want of safety in my older kids, to keep the younger ones safe and happy. Whether that means watching someone while I shower or reading stories while I use the stove for a few moments. I want them to want to protect each other.
I have 2. My 2 year old son loves his baby sister so much… TOO much sometimes. I’ve had to rescue her many times. However, she’s starting to try to crawl… I think she’ll be able to hold her own very, very soon 🙂
My daughter is 2 yrs 4 months. She is so excited for our baby due in July 2014. She will only say it’s a baby brother. She goes to all the doctor/ultrasound appts & loves wing included.
I have 2 kids. We talk about being kind to each other and how much we all love each other. We got my daughter a baby doll and carrier before my son was born and I think tandem nursing helps too.
Baby 2 on the way in March, and bonding with 4yo big brother is a concern. Trying to do all I can now to make the transition as smooth as possible!!
I have three kiddos: 9 and 7 year old boys and a 21 month old daughter. Games help build their bond as well as dress up/imaginary play. Sending them outside forces them to rely on each other and not a screen (or Legos).
I have 7 children. ages 11 down to 6wks. The very first thing we did with each older child was call the baby theirs while pregnant. So our 2yr old walks around talking to and kissing his baby. He will tell others MY baby. It seemed to work out well so when the new baby arrives they have somewhat of a bond already. Then when the baby arrived he helped with diaper changing and getting ready for feeds. Plus we have snuggle time before bed where they all get to hold the baby and snuggle.
I only have 1 child but plan to have another one soon! Thank you for these tips, they are really helpful
We have two, a preschooler and a toddler, and one thing we did to encourage closeness was moving them into a room together, sharing a big bed.
I currently only have one child, 18mo, I plan on having him help as much as he wants whenever he has a brother or sister. Right now he cuddles with his stuffed animals and tries to feed them, so I feel he is on the right path 🙂
I have one daughter, but recently had the honor of watching her play with her twin nieces. It brought back memories of their mom, my big sister, and how much fun and very special is was/is to have her apart of our lives.
I’ve got a 7yo girl and almost 2yo boy and they are sooooo sweet together. I worrued because of their age difference but they love each other and have a wonderful sibling relationship (most of the time) because my oldest very much likes to look after my youngest. You hit the nail on the head when you said, “get out of their way.” That’s my best tip too. It might be a little harder to do once baby 3 gets here next summer. 😉
I have a 3yo and 5mo. I’m an only child, so sibling interaction and relationships are new for me!luckily my husband has 3 younger sisters. 🙂
I have two children, a 5 yr old boy and an almost 3 yr old girl, I feel that they cherish the bond they have with one another. Big brother is always looking out for his sister as he takes his role very seriously. And little sister is very nurturing toward her brother as well. They are very close and as a mother I hope to help continue to nurture that connection.
I only have one child (16 mo) and grew up as an only, so I know little about sibling interaction. I do, however, love the positive communication TLB has highlighted and plan to use it!
I really liked this. We’ve been considering have a second baby, but I’m having a lot of the insecurity issues listed in the beginning, and reading this article actually managed to make me feel a little better about having another baby. I’m at a point where I do want another, but at the same time I’m terrified how it will effect my relationship with my daughter
I’m due with my 3rd boy on March 17. My oldest turned 3 at the end of November and my second is 17 months. As they are close in age, letting them play together is the best way to let them bond. Whether its wrestling on the floor or playing in their kitchen, they are always following each other around!
No advice, yet! BUT I love seeing your girls pictures on IG, their bond is incredible and precious. Thank you for sharing tips!
We have an almost 4 year old and a 2 week old. Great tips!
I only have one child at the moment. I will say how I bonded with my siblings is through our love of shopping.
This touched my heart. My beloved son will be 2yr 2m when baby 2 arrives this June. I’ve been battling my own emotions and fears but I know he’ll make an amazing brother. Thanks for the tips. Your family is beautiful!
I have a 3.5 year old and 6 month old who adore each other. My 3.5 year old loves to help with her baby sister and baby loves when her big sister plays with her. We try to include big sister in as much as possible.
I have 3 kiddos, and would love at least 1 more. Letting the bigger girls help, with anything, really makes them happy and I can see it when my 1 year copies everything his big sis’es do!
I have a currently 13 month old son and I am expecting another son in 8 weeks. I don’t have any tried and true methods for establishing/fostering a sibling bond, because I am an only child. However, I think the best advice I have been given is to let my oldest “feel” – give him the opportunity to express his emotions as best as he can. There will be times that he’s angry, jealous, or hurt and they are valid feelings for him to have because he is learning how to share Mama and Daddy. Also, when possible make the baby wait to so you can care for the needs of the older child, which will make the older child feel important too.
My little guy, who is 22 months, just recently started wanting to wear his baby. It’s so cute, and you can tell he is so proud of himself!
We have 3 children and are expecting our 4th next August. The older ones (9 and 10) love wearing their 19 month old brother around the house and are always teaching him new games, words, and ways to use his toys. He goes to them for hugs and cuddles when he needs them and he gets upset when they’re not with him. We attribute that to including everyone in everything that’s going on. We all go to each other’s sports and eat all meals together. Story time is another one of our favorite bonding time
We currently have 2 children and are expecting our third in June. Our first two are exactly a year and two weeks apart so it was tough trying to transition our oldest to having a sibling. He was just a baby himself when she was born so we basically just tried to keep things as normal as possible for him, lots of time together with just him, and things like reading to the two of them together and letting him give her lots of love, even when you want to be super cautious with a newborn.
This time it’s much easier, we talk about the baby often, and how the baby is going to love it’s older siblings. My oldest is excited to show off toys and give snuggles, our almost 2 year old loves her dolls and playing mama.
This list is going to be extremely helpful. I can’t wait to incorporate more from this list!
Perfect timing for this as I am awaiting the arrival of our second child any day now. How our 2 1/2 yo son will react and how to parent multiple children has been on my mind a lot lately!!
We’re not planning to have another baby until our first is much older (4-5). It’s going to bring its own challenges, that’s for sure. Luckily, we have cousins being born all the time now, and some older ones with siblings to help lead by example. I love that all of my sisters have chosen to baby wear and breastfeed, because it really is helping to show the normalcy of it for my daughter and get cousins!
I hope to give my little guy a sibling soon, I think it’s so important to have a brother or sister. I don’t know what I would do without my big sister!
I have a 14 month old – not sure she’ll have any siblings due to infertility. However, I plan to foster a bond with her many cousins!
i have FOUR boys, yes FOUR, and i am often at my wit’s end with this topic….they fight A LOT. i want to read through this post again and again, just what i needed today. nurturing their nurturing side is a good one, and i think the only positive technique i’ve used so far. thanks for the tips and the giveaway! kisses!
We currently have two boys 1&3 and I love watching them interact and love one another! I look forward to adding to our family one day. My siblings (one sister and one brother) are two of my best friends in the world. Even with a 7 year age gap my brother and I are extremely close. We are now 28&21 and for a while struggled to find common ground but that’s the Beaty of a sibling relationship. It’s always growing and developing throughout the seasons of life <3
I have two daughters and a son on the way! I love reading with girls cuddled up together. Even the Boy gets in on the action kicking during story time.
We have 2 girls -3 and 6 months. We encourage and nurture positive interactions with them by allowing our oldest to play (safely) with her sister how and what she likes to play.
I just have one for now, but in the future I will encourage it by allowing them to go grow together. To fight, make mistakes, solve them, get into trouble, and just have fun with each other.
I have two children: a two-year-old and one due in June. We’re just going to take things as they come in terms of the sibling relationship, but our daughter already loves talking about the little one to come!
We have 6 children under the age 5 (3 of those under the age of 2), and this would be amazing to help me hold one of the babies and for one of my “bigger” kids to also get to hold one of their babies. 🙂
What we’re currently working on is for the oldest 3 girls to talk out and work out their disagreements respectfully instead of trying to get us to solve every little squabble. If they figure out how to talk through their problems now it will really help them as they get older.
We’re also trying to work with the girls on being understanding of the 1 yr old twins that are now snatching their toys and pulling their hair.
The Peace Path may be a helpful tool for your bigger kids. We use it from about 3 years old on to help work through disagreements. ~Jessica
I love TLB, and your girls share a special relationship that you and Jeremy should very very proud of helping them develop it.
Oh yeah, btw, I’ve got 5 and we are adding another in July!
Love these tips! I think the first one couldn’t be better! Speaking positively about siblings, from the get go, is such a big thing!!
I have a days-away-from 3 yr old and a days-away-from 1 year old and am currently a few days “past due” on our latest addition! Our oldest has LOVED cuddling on, holding, and trying to carry baby sister from day one. We talk often of their love for one another (when 3yo makes 1 yo laugh I’ll say, “Oh, look at her smile! She loves her sister SO much! She thinks you are great!’ or during snuggles when baby-in-belly kicks, I say it is her hand reaching out to hold her big sister and encourage the 3yo to touch the hand back or give kisses to my belly/baby). I recently started the “got your nose!” game with my 3 yo which has morphed into a giggle-fit of “got your (any body part!)”. Her new favorite is to say she got my nursies (what we call breasts used for feeding), put them on herself, and tell me how she is going to nurse the new baby! <3
We’ve just had our third. And although our children get along very well, I’m always looking for tips on creating stronger sibling bonds.
I only have one child but can’t wait for her to have a brother or sister. I have no clue how I will make them “get along.”
You won’t, because you can’t. But you can encourage them to have a meaningful and caring relationship! ~Jessica
I have 4 daughters ages 16-4 and hope for more soon. We love to be silly together and laugh a lot. They like to put on shows for us.
Only have the one right now. Perhaps more this new year.
We have a 20 month old daughter and are looking forward to our second in a couple months. She is currently very into copying everything we do and I hope it transfers to the new baby too. We’re trying to talk a lot about the new sister in a fun and positive way.
What a great article! Getting ready to welcome our second within the next couple months. This gives me lots of ideas for things I can start right away to help my son love his new little sibling.
Expecting baby #3 in August. My older girls are less than 2 yrs apart, and I’ve loved watching their bond develop as they have gotten older. Excited to see how they welcome their new sibling this summer.
I have one now but work as a nanny (and am so fortunate to be able to bring him to work). I’ve been with this family for years and they have certainly become adopted family to me. To the point where I saw jealousy peek out upon baby’s arrival. We are always working on sibling rivalry and we’re making headway until mine came along. A little regression but we’re getting through it. And now we’re hoping for another baby soon!
I currently have one daughter but I’m hoping she will soon have a brother or sister 🙂 Thanks for the tips!
I have two daughters, 31mo and 12mo. We encourage them to bond and love one another through family activities such as reading and playing together. Also, my older daughter loves to help our younger daughter. We never discourage her from helping as we can see how much she loves her little sister when she is helping her.
Our son turns 3 January 6 – he is the one and only currently but we encourage his interests in his dolls and all the gear – he always talks about wanting 3 sisters he even has names picked out
we have a 19 month old son and are 30 weeks pregnant with a baby girl! we will hopefully have even more as time goes on but my son loves giving my belly kisses and singing to the baby. i hope he continues loving her so much when shes born!
I possibly have the best bigger brother to our 8 month old son. Big bro is 7 and loves to cuddle, kiss, and play with little bro. I often think when looking at them, “who loves who more?”. We kept big bro informed the whole pregnancy and I had him read the updates with me on the pregnancy app I used, to help prepare him and keep him involved.
We read bedtime stories every night. Our three yr old loves to “read” to her baby sister.
My 13yo and 11yo wore my 3yo at the zoo this fall. Babywearing sibling <3
Two children! My older daughter loves running to get her brother when he wakes up.
I have an almost 10 year old step daughter and a 16 month old daughter. I am not worried about binding now. The older one is helping and playing with her but I am not sure how their relationship will be when she will be hitting the teen years and be out and about and her sister is too young to keep up.
I have three children, 4 year old girl, 3 year old boy and a 1.5 year old little girl. Our favorite way of sibling bonding is doing things as a family, we like going to the Play museum and Zoos. We have traveled to different states (and Countries, if you consider leaving the US to Canada) just to go to different zoos because that is when our family feels the best with each other.
Great tips! Thanks!
I have a newly turned two year old and another one due in April. Both are boys! I have no tips because I’m new to this! My deepest desire is that they would become best friends!
My 4 yo want to wear her babydolls all the time, she cant wait till her little brother is big enough for her to carry.
We have 2 kids. A 7 yr old boy and an 18 mth old girl. We currently use lots of games, story times, and dancing for bonding. Both my husband and I try to stay out of their way, as much as possible, so they can figure things out for themselves, but we still have to “step-in” from time to time. So far, they adore each other, giving lots of hugs and kisses to each other 🙂
We have two children and are currently expecting our third. Due March 1. 🙂 Our children are very close in age and it would be nice, as well as useful to have an extra carrier! Thank you so much for all the great advice and ideas for sibling bonding. Sonething I was anxious about. 🙂
5 amazing kiddos here…made it so that there was not a fight over Momma time when there was a new baby~nursing became special snuggle time for all with babe at breast and older siblings tucked in close on teach side and a good book to read aloud and then the “big kids” were my special helpers assisting me in caring for younger siblings. Even to this day (my oldest ones are college bound) my children enjoy each others company, laugh together.
I have two biological (1&3) and we are adopting a 5 yo. It’s truly challenging, especially with the upset of our birth order. But they are doing really well. I think the best tip I have is to let them help each other (within reason). This seems to make them feel more ‘needed’ and ‘appreciated’.
We have four daughters, and getting the older girl(s) excited about arrival of the next throughout the pregnancy seemed to pretty much negate any of the “typical” jealousy and feelings of abandonment/replacement everyone told us to expect each time. They came along to midwife appointments and got to help measure and listen for the heartbeat, they were there for all but one (overnight) birth, etc. Frankly, our girls were always just as thrilled with the new baby as we were. No issue there!
Sure, they still have normal sibling spats over toys or books or pretty much anything sisters might bicker over, but they love each other. So much so, our youngest doesn’t even seem to know the word “sister.” She refers to the older three as her friends. 😉 I think she’s got it right.
Luckily my little girl got over her jealousy fairly quickly. She absolutely loces her little brither, and he loves ger right back!
I have two (3.3 yrs and 10 mos). I like to have both kids cheer each other on! we point out and celebrate when they do nice things for each other (look – you are making her laugh – she likes it! or wasn’t that nice of your brother to bring you that toy- thank you!)
We have an 11 month old and an almost three year old. They have been close since my youngest was born. I made nursing a mommy and both baby time. My 3 year old likes to stroke her little sisters face and hold her hands while she nurses 🙂 they’re already best friends <3
My first turns 3 next week and second just came along in September. I try the best I can to still be there for the 3 year old even while caring for the baby and she loves helping care for the baby so I try to let her as much as I can and is appropriate. She loves giving her baby sister kisses.
I have two girls- a four month old and a 31 monther. Before Everly, our youngest, arrived, Emalyn was the star of her own show. Naturally, I was worried she would be jealous, but we are overjoyed with the bond they have already developed. We are looking forward to seeing them grow up together!
We have two kids, ages 8 and 4, and are expecting our last in May. Both of my big kids are very excited for the baby, especially to find out what kind of baby it will be since we’ve elected to keep it a surprise this time. They each want what they don’t already have, (so our daughter wants a sister while our son wants a brother) but know that they will love their baby with all of their hearts no matter what. They used to share a room with bunk beds, but we recently moved to a larger place in preparation for our growing family, and honestly they probably spend more time together now than they did before. The 8 year old is almost always willing to play a Disney Princess board game with his sister though he has never ever won, and the 4 year old likes to watch her brother play Minecraft, though she has no idea what is happening in the game. They share a chair to cuddle while they read or watch a show. It warms my heart.
I have a 4 year old daughter and am hoping to have another baby in the next year or so. I come from a family of 7 children and LOVED growing up in a big family. We were all taught to help out as much as possible – that included helping to play with or care for our younger siblings as well as helping Mom and Dad around the house. I love these tips! A lot of our friends have had new babies recently and our daughter loves to hold babies and hug and kiss them and I encourage her to do this! Thanks!
I’ve got a 3 year old daughter and 5 month old son. My daughter loves participating in taking care of her brother in any way. Right now she loves to demonstrate how to crawl to “teach” him.
I would love to have a Beco carrier! My 6 yr daughter has worn her baby brother in our Infantino mei tai and my younger daughters have worn their babies in whatever I can find to tie around them. They would absolutely adore a mini carrier to call their own. This is such a fabulous giveaway!
I have 2 beautiful children and a 3rd on the way. I encourage play, helping each other out, and communication. My children are the best teachers though.
We are expecting our second! Due April 1!
We have a 3.5 yr old daughter and a bay girl due early March! I’m so glad our girls will have each other. I love my kid brother and can’t imagine not having that unique bond. There is nothing like a sibling relationship or connection.
My kiddos are 3 years and 3 weeks old. Big sister helps by bringing diapers and wipes during changes, and she gets to hold and kiss all over baby brother when he’s awake and not eating!
3 kids and they have to bond because we spend so much time together. They have no choice!
I have two children. My daughter is 3 and my son is 5 months old. One thing that has encouraged bonding is tandem nursing. I love snuggling both children while they hold hands or while my oldest pets her brother’s head. I also let her help pick out his outfits and gather diaper supplies when she’s feeling helpful. 🙂
I would love this for me and my son! We would babywear together 🙂
I have 3 kiddos. 4.5,2.5 and 6m. We read together everyday and theyre often making up stories to read to each other.
My youngest just turned one and is privileged to have 6 half siblings ranging in age from 12 to 29. I love watching all of them interact and grow together as a family and as individuals.
We tried for many years to give our oldest daughter a sibling. When it finally happened she was 6, and she was more ready than I think we were. She’s just over the moon for the baby, and he loves her (albeit with a lot of hair pulling). She was most excited when he had enough head control and she was strong enough to start wearing him (again, with a lot of hair pulling) but I’ll find her telling ME to calm down about a lot of things. “It’s okay mom, he’s allowed to pull the stuff off the bottom of my bookshelf, that’s why it’s all safe toys.” That just melts my heart.
I have an almost four year old and I’m due with my second in just a week – eek! I love reading the tips on sibling bonding and I can’t wait to see how they grow and love each other.
3 kids that like to play games together.
I have one 13 year old stepdaughter and a 20 month old son.. My stepdaughter loves to wear her brother in our Ergo when she is with us. We would like to have more kids later so these are some great tips for us to use in the future 🙂
I have a 13 yr old stepdaughter and a 20 month old son. My stepdaughter loves wearing her brother in our Ergo when she is with us. We hope to have more children one day and these are some great tips fpr us to use when the time comes 🙂
We have two kids and have had the misfortune of losing a nephew. My Mom always told my brother and I how we were the only siblings that we would ever have. The loss of my nephew makes those words ring true. We tell our kids often to treasure each other, that even if you are upset with each other you are still family.
I have twins. The key for us is encouraging individuality in balance with their twin bond (they’re identical), and spending one-on-one time.
I only have one kiddo right now, she’s almost 6 months old. Down the line she will have a little brother or sister, but right now it is great watching her interact with her 2 year old cousin, who is about to be a big brother!
The second is on the way. Right now we just keep talking about how much baby loves big brother and we all read stories to the baby and what a good big brother ds will be.
I have 2 kids a 3 year old and 3 month old. They love story time together especially when my 3 year old “reads” to baby and they love playing on the floor together. They are always watching and smiling at each other!
I’m 6 years older than the oldest of my siblings. That made me more of a mother hen to all of them. Now that we are all grown, we are thick as thieves. I have so much fun when I’m with them.
Just one toddler here with another hopefully on the way soon.
My daughter has been really interested in playing mommy with her dolls lately and also still loves the carrier herself, so something like this would be absolutely perfect!
Our boys are 4 & 19 months & best friends. I always remind big brother how important he is & how his brother needs his help to grow up to be a superhero just like him.
I have four kids, 7, 6, 4, and 7 mo. I like to encourage them to think about what the other is thinking/feeling and how they can help out. My two older girls love to read to the younger kids, and they all love to snuggle together!
My 4 year old daughter has had a difficult time bonding with our son who is now 7 weeks. This is mostly due to the fact that I was in the hospital with him
For 3wks with him. It was difficult for her to have be away for so long. Now that we have been home for 3 weeks she’s come around and adores her brother. Winning the mini carrier for her would be exciting for her to be a baby wearer like her momma.
We had our second child in February and our big brother has been amazing to her. She was born very premature and he has been very understanding and helpful since she came home. When she first came home, he introduced himself, “I am your Ethan and you are my snuggle bug.”
I have one in college, two toddlers and one on the way. Despite the age gap, they all enjoy each other’s company. Outdoor activities are the best!
We have an 8month old little boy and although we aren’t TTC, we are planning to have another little one sometime in the near future! I love your tips and parenting methods. Such an inspiration!
My daughter is 2, and I hope we will have another one on the way soon to encourage bonding.
I have a 2 year old boy and a 2 month old boy. We help my two year old hold his brother and touch him gently. He is very good with his little brother. A carrier would help so much keep my little one close and chase after the crazy one!
We are expecting a new bundle of joy in July. Our 4 and 2 year old are beyond excited. I can’t wait to see the three of them playing and interacting!
3 under 5. having the bigs sing to baby really helps everyone.
I have three children ages 6 1/2, four, and eight months. They love each other so much. But what was most surprising was the bond between my oldest and youngest who are my two boys. My oldest son has become a little mama and loves to help with the baby, make him laugh and smile, and teach him new things. I foster this relationship by supporting my older child’s role in helping to nurture the baby and allowing him to help take care of the baby in his own little ways. To help prevent jealousy and bad feelings between the children I make sure to give each child individual attention when both mommy and daddy so that they know how special they are and that they have a unique role in the family.
we talked up the baby to our daughter before he arrived and told her what a wonderful big sister she would be. One of her current favorite things is to have us whisper in her ears, then she whispers in ours. She just recently expanded the game to include little brother – “can I whisper in his ear?” *arm goes around the little neck, mouth smashes up to tiny ear*, “pssshh, whisper, whisper, hsss, I love you so much, Edward.” (yes, that is exactly what she whispers – every time)
I have a 4 yeard old boy and a 9 month old daughter. My son adores his sister completely. From the moment we talked to him about the bayb we told him that she was his baby too. Sister doesn’t just belong to mommy and daddy, she belongs to our family. He really took that to heart and tells everyone that she is HIS baby and how much he loves her.
He also goes on and on about how he will get to be a daddy some day and sister will be a mommy someday and have babies in her tummy. And sometime he wishes that “You had 10 babies in your tummy, not just 1. I want more babies!”
I have two girls. One will be 4 in a few days and the other is 14 months old. I love watching them play together. The oldest is such a great helper and teacher for the younger one. When it comes to fights between them we often have to remind the older one that her sister is just a baby and she doesn’t fully understand like she does and that she needs her big sister to help her learn and grow up to be like her. I was afraid of how they would get alon in the beginig because our older one was very attached to both my fiancé and I but she adjusted very well and has been a fantastic big sister.
I love all of these as ways siblings can bond. We just had our first but I will definitely keep these tips in mind when it’s time to expand our family even more!
I have a 7 week old girl. I talk to her all the time about being a good person and being tolerant. Whether or not she’ll subconsciously remember is yet to be seen.
We have 3 girls – 6yrs, 4yrs and 6 months. I think the biggest thing that has aided the big girls’ relationship is time together to play imaginatively without input from anyone else. They still have their ups and downs and differences in age/development can magnify those (and we step in if things get too rough), but overall they are quite close and like being together and are learning to talk things out.
I’m interested in Peace Path and will look it up. Thanks for the link!
Getting out of the way and recognizing their cues that they need space.
We have two small boys. One is 21 months and the other is 8 months. The older one just seems to mimic our comfort actions to his brother when he is upset. And he shares with him every time i share with them… lol It seems like actions lead better than words. That’s all i can say. 🙂
I have an 18 month old. This will be handy when we have another!
Great post! I am loving watching the bond between my 3 yo & 1 mo – it’s like a little love story 🙂
I have a beautiful 1 year old and will be trying for a second baby when this one starts sleeping through the night 😉 I love these great lessons. I’m going to bookmark this page so I won’t forget anything!
I have 2 boys 4 yrs & 3 months. I invite our older son to help watch & care for his brother; as well as sing & help sooth him.
3 year old son and currently nursing my 3 month old daughter. Never thought I would be able to breastfeed. Thank you for the give away!
I have 4 kids. 18 yr boy, 14 yr girl, 3 yr girl & 6 month old boy. I have always let them be involved as much or as little as they wanted with their siblings. I always include them with what I am doing with the baby. My 3 yr will nurse her babies when I nurse her brother because her babies are hungry too. My oldest loved helping with his sister when they were little. Reminders of “be gentle” are often used, but I let them enjoy getting to play together without getting to involved.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 13 month old and.these tips were great. I really want to encourage a positive relationship between them.
We have 5 kids, with a large age gap between the biggest two (ages 18 & 16) and the little ones 7, 3, & 8 mo. We are also a military family so we move frequently. Just encouraging them to be involved and teaching appropriate interaction when they are small. All of my kids love their older and younger siblings so much, I love to watch them interact.
I have almost 6 and almost 3 yo girls. They certainly have their share of disagreements but on weekend mornings, the oldest will get the youngest from her crib and they’ll play quietly together in their rooms, letting Daddy and I get a few more minutes of sleep. It’s just something they started doing with no request on our part. They love that time alone together. 🙂 thanks! -Karen (blondredhead at mac dot com)
We have 3 kids, two girls and a baby boy. I intentionally work on sharing toys as often as possible – taking turns, finding something safe for baby to play with, etc. This seems to help them learn how to include everyone in play.
I have one daughter and rigvht now she’s an only child for the time being. I can’t exactly give sibling bonding advice yet.
We’re hoping to create #2 in 2014! I’m an only child, so I really want to make sure my daughter (now 16 mo.) gets to experience having a sibling.
I have two girls. Next week the oldest will turn 5 and the youngest will turn 14 months. My 5 year old is a natural with her sister. They became best friends from day one. We could probably get some tips from her!
I’m currently about 35 weeks pregnant with baby #5. I too spent a lot of time worrying about jealousy or kids who just wouldn’t get along. What I learned is that when you step back and just let kids be who they are they turn out to be amazing and unique and its thed differences between the kids that really draws them together. Some love to help and some need that extra support. Helping them find ways to help and encourage each other as naturally as possible goes a long way toward them building what I hope will be lasting friendships.
We have 2 boys – 3 yo and 1 yo. Love these tips! We try to encourage the older one to help in caring for the younger one – soothing him, helping with meals and play time. Can’t wait to see how this bond develops over time!
Hi! I have three children, but with an 8 year age range between the oldest and youngest. We encourage bonding by allowing the older to help with the younger and creating environments where they all can have a place – i.e the older two might build a fort and then bring the youngest in and read to her. We also do LOTS with the whole family – bike rides where the older two ride their own and the youngest is a passenger with one of us. So, I think togetherness helps!
I have 2 girls, a 5 yr and a newborn. I encourage the older one to read to her baby sister.
I love this! We just started talking about when to try for #2, and this post definitely eases my trepidation. I’m an only, so sibling relationships are new to me. Thank you!
I just have one child, a 5 month old girl. I encourage her to share with her friends when we are with them but no siblings yet!
1 and 1 due in April. My 2.5 year old son says hi to baby sister every day and kisses my belly 🙂
I have 2 children, ages almost 2 months and 4 years. I let him hold his baby sister when she is content after nursing. Also, I encourage him to help me with taking care of her.
I have three kids and my older two absolutely dote on the new baby, but less so on each other. I try and let them get as much caring and snuggling time with the baby as they want while not forcing it on them. For thebolder kids I give them opportunities to be a team, ‘against’ me in a wrestling match, or the world in general.
I have 4 kids (14 dd, 10 ds, 2.5 ds, 2m dd). The last two have the closest gap. We bought our two year old a doll & started helping him care for it while explaining that these were all things mommy & daddy would need his expert help with when his sibling arrived.
We have a preschooler and infant, I’m still trying to figure out ways to get them to bond. But as they both get older, they are playing more. I will definitely use these tips, because my own sibling relationship isn’t that great.
Awesome post!! This is very helpful to me, because we just went from 1 to 2 little girls!!
We only have a 16 month old right now, but I will for sure remember this blog post when another baby comes along. 🙂
I have a 7yo boy and a 3.5yo girl, with one on the way in March 🙂 We do everything we can to encourage empathy, compassion, and love for one another. It’s so sweet to see how they put each other first more times than not!
I have three sons and I love to watch their bonds of brotherhood grow and develop. We encourage them to work together on projects and to practice small acts of kindness for each other. They take so much pride and joy in doing something to make one of their brothers feel special.
My little girl is almost three and my son is 15 weeks. She isn’t really involved with him a lot at this point. I try to include her at this point by asking for her help- getting a diaper or picking out his clothes. She also likes to sit in the floor with him when we work on tummy time and keep his interest. He loves it.
I have a 21 month old and a baby arriving any day now. I don’t have any tips or experience yet but I love the tips you have here! I’m hoping to encourage them to build each other up and stick up for each other as they grow up.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter and a 3 week old son. I hope they get along well and become best friends!
I have a one year old and a four year old. My four year old has learned the one year old’s calming song and she sings it to him every time he gets upset. It never fails to melt my heart!
I am currently pregnant with my second, and I have to admit that the only thing that troubles me about having a second is whether my son (he’s 2, will be 2yrs, 8mo when the babe is born) will like his younger brother or sister. I don’t have a good relationship with my brother, so it does worry me that my kids won’t as well.
I think that my favorite idea on how to foster a good relationship between your kids (that I have hear from many people) is to encourge them to foster it themselves and allow them the space to do so, without a parent in their faces, forcing them to play and get along.
I have two little ones, and I had to work hard to convince DH (an only child) to have another. One of the things I explained was the value of the sibling relationship. I am already enjoying watching my 3-year-old play with his 6-month-old sister. I look forward to watching their bond grow and develop as they grow too.
We don’t have our second yet, but I remember wanting to take care of my little brothers when they were babies. That feeling has carried through to today and we have very strong bond!
Things were really smooth between our first and second child. Our first is very nurturing, and we did talk up her baby sister and how she would be her best friend, etc. She was constantly asking to “holg her” baby sister and since our second was an early walker, they were off playing together so soon! Now we are expecting our third and unseating our second from the baby position may be hard. I think she understands more than her sister did about baby in mama’s tummy, but so far he’s only gotten in the way. My comfort is that our second emulates the nurturing aspect of the first and I’ve never seen her act aggressively towards a smaller child. I laughed one time when a mama friend plopped her little one down so she could run an older friend to the bathroom. As soon as she exited the room, my girls were on squatted next to that baby touching her hands and speaking softly to her. They both love babies.
I have a 4yo daughter, 3yo stepdaughter, 15 month old daughter, and we are expecting girl #4 in about 4 weeks! I love watching our 3 kids play together, especially when the big girls include the youngest in their playing. I would love to be able to carry our littlest in this carrier!
I have an 8.5 year old stepdaughter, a 20 month old daughter, and a 5 week old son. Unfortunately, because of the family dynamic encouraged when she’s with her bio mom, my stepdaughter has a difficult time interacting with her younger siblings at our house. I encourage her to spend time with her siblings, especially reading time since her teacher has recommended reading aloud to improve her skills. The two youngest already have an amazing bond. My toddler loves to hold “bubba” and to bring him toys wherever he may be. She also tells me “JT eat!” anytime he fusses.
Wonderful post! I have a six year old, a two year old and a newborn. They all get along better than I could have imagined. When our middle child was a newborn we let her big brother help as much as he wanted to, and hold her whenever he asked to, even if it wasn’t necessarily a good time for us. We let him help her learn to sit and stand and walk, and have always celebrated every milestone as a family. Its the same this time around with the new baby. Granted her daddy or I may not be the ones holding her hand when she takes her first steps, but that’s ok. Our son remembers helping his little sister and is still proud of it. They know empathy and trust in each other, which is priceless.
I only have one child so I enjoyed reading everyone’s tips for future children. I do remember my mother allowing us to fight and solve our own problems. We normally always ended with a hug and an I’m sorry all on our own. 🙂
We have a little one who is two and we’re currently trying for another. So we don’t have many tips but we’ve already started preping our daughter for a sibling by talking about having a baby brother or sister. When we’re out and about she’ll see or hear babies crying and is always concerned about them. I think she naturally wants to help and is so kind and nurturing towards our friend’s babies. When I was pregnant last fall before I ended up miscarrying we bought this great book called “I’m a big sister” and she loved reading it and talking about the babies in the book. Hopefully we’ll be able to put all of this to good use when we get pregnant again.
I with my oldest son about how I cared for him the same as a baby, they can share the bond of my love together.
I have 2 boys, ages 4 1/2 and 20 months. I encourage my older son to spend time doing things with his little brother, like playing with duplos, playing cars, or reading. I am very lucky that my 4 year old LOVES his little brother, and the littler one idolizes the older. They really are best friends.
2 boys ages 3 & 1. Tandem nursing and co-sleeping have helped my boys bond.
I have two girls, 4 and 18 mos., and so far they have a great relationship. My older daughter seems to have been born a nurturer and comforter, which helps a lot. Other than that, I try to let them play and work through getting each other upset (to a degree).
I have 8 kids. I encourage the kids to all work together as a team so they have a closer bond, which they do.
I have 2 year old and 4 month old girls. I am always encouraging big sister to interact with little sister. I also tell little sister constantly that her big sister is amazing and loves her so much.
I have 4 boys, and loved reading the tips. Even though boys are a bit different than girls. My youngest was born in Oct. and I love watching them interact. And encourage them in their play to all play together, they are not allowed to exclude 1 brother. (We live on a farm, so they mostly farm all day long. 🙂 )
I have 7 children from age 21 down to age 19 months. I think just being together a lot has helped my children bond. I’ve found that they pair up some as the different personalities develop.
It amazes me every single day how much love our boys have for each other already 3 1/2 & 8 months). I can tell we are in trouble since the baby already looks up to his brother with so much amazement. It makes the heartache of trying to conceive for a year and an early loss, seem much more miraculous. I would love to try a Beco and I’m sure our oldest would love carrying his doll (whom he named after his brother). Thanks!
I am 20 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. My oldest will be around 20 months when she is born. I want them to have a special bond, but am SO worried about competition between the 2 since they will only be 1 year apart in school. I have all the other fears of being able to love and nurture another child like I have my oldest. This series of posts has been comforting as we prepare for our second born.
We just welcomed baby #6 3 weeks ago. I have enjoyed watching all of the kids nurture their new brother. He is one of the gang already!
I have two daughters, ages 4 and 15 months. It was tricky for me at first because I’m the youngest of three, so I had no idea what to do to prepare a big sister. Fortunately she’s the kind of kid that added a baby to the house without blinking an eye. She’s a natural big sister and adores all of our friends’ babies as well (she’s the oldest of the whole bunch). I think that encouraging the big one to get involved with the little one is important–even if it’s just, “can you give sister a kiss?”. She likes being able to help out and is thrilled when the little one is excited to see her, and I can’t wait until the younger gets older so that she can interact more fully with her sister.
We have a daughter who’s almost 2 and are actively trying for a second child, so this prize would come in very handy if I won. As a former nanny, I’ve had lots of experience helping siblings bond but the best thing a parent can do is to make sure they make special time for the older sibling every day, especially when the older sibling is a younger toddler. Kids who feel that they are not being replaced by a new baby will be far more receptive to bonding and taking on the role as a “big brother/sister”.
I have 2 children. I try and show my son how much fun it is to play with his little sister. But lately, I feel like I spend most of my time trying to keep them from killing each other!
Our 7th child–6th girl–will be born next month. Most of our chidlren are very close in age–only once is there more than 2 years, and I think the average is 19 or 20 months apart. We’ve honestly never had a lot of new baby jealousy to deal with. I think part of the reason is that we always model extreme excitement and pleasure about the new baby; the assumption is that a baby is absolutely wonderful, and we try to share that excitement with the “old” baby as much as possible. With the last baby, I remember referring to him purposefully as “Nina’s new baby” a lot of the time, and she definitely did feel he belonged to her. I made sure to let her “help” with diaper changes, etc., and sent her along with a big sister to get clean clothes. And especially when he was tiny, nursing time was read to the new big sister time as well!
I have one Angel and one 10 month old little girl. I haven’t even begun to think about how to encourage love between siblings. I guess I hope to teach my daughter and whoever her younger sibling will someday be to care for each other through action and words.
We’re expecting number 2 any day now, so I was so glad to read if your experiences!
We welcomed baby #5 just before Thanksgiving…all six of your ideas we find to be true/valuable tools. Another thing our kids love is to hear about when they were tiny — even my oldest still like to hear how she was nursed, how much we loved to snuggle her in bed at night, how we couldnt put her down, etc. sharing all their birth stories in the weeks leading up to a new sibling’s birth has become tradition 🙂
We have a 2 year old daughter who will be almost 3 by the time her new brother or sister gets here. She doesn’t really understand what a new baby means, but we plan on getting her a special “big sister” gift when baby is born and letting her help pick out the outfit we take baby home from the hospital in.
At the moment we have a little boy and we are trying for #2. My husband and I will talk with our little guy about being a big brother and what an important job it is and sometimes babies make lots of noise, but we need to still love them no matter what.
We have 4 kids, ages 8, 4, 3 and 1. These are great tips to encourage a bond between siblings. I really don’t a have any tip to share because I am currently struggling with this with our oldest.
My two are almost exactly two years apart. I think that tandem nursing played the biggest role in fostering the bond share.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter and a seven month old son. I love the little nicknames she comes up with for him and listening to her sing him silly songs. So far they are enamored with each other.
I have a 2 year old little girl and we’ll welcome a baby boy in April. I don’t think my daughter understands the concept at all; She has 2 baby nephews who come and visit and then go home. I’ve been reading books about siblings to her and letting her help set up his things, but I think she won’t really get it until he is born.
We have one girl and I’m pregnant with a boy. I don’t know yet abut how to make siblings get along, but I’m sure I’ll be learning soon!
This is a great post!! Lots of excellent recommendations! I have a 13.5 mo lil one and hopefully adding a second one soon! I constantly think about how he will do with a new baby!!
We have 2 very clever daughters aged 6&7yrs and have out 3 month old baby boy. I have a rare health condition which effects my right arm. My 2 girls are extremely helpful and you see this when they play together. I believe in loving them like you want to be loved. They will grow up with enough love to share with everyone they wish.
I would win this for my friend who is expecting her second. I’ve been helping her check out lots of library books for children about new babies.
I have one and another on the way! Only advice I’ve gotten so far is let my big help with my little and include her as much as possible, which I fully intend on doing 🙂
Currently one. But we are looking for ways to introduce her to the idea that will not be the only one forever.
I have two children, and we’re really working on that bond. My oldest is still struggling a little, but he really does love his little sister. I think tandem nursing for a while really helped a lot!
But for right now, I’m just trying to keep him from knocking her down. Constantly.
Two kids, with another on the way – let the sibling love continue!
I have a little boy who will be 4 next month.. He’s been an only child and will be up until May. We are due with a little girl!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED! He hasn’t been able to experience what it is like to be a big brother yet but I’ve included him every way possible so far, it scares me to think he’s going to feel pushed to the side or forgotten once the new baby gets here. He is really excited, loves to see the baby, feel her.. hear all the new things she does each week it is amazing. Your blog gave me so many great ideas and so much to think about, I’ll for sure start following. It is refreshing to be comforted when you need it the most, especially over the internet so I thank you over and over.
I have two 17 months and 7; I definitely use some of the same ideas you have… one of the big ones I find is just to be observant and not in a hurry… if I see them connecting but we have to get somewhere I try to think which is more important in the long run? Being on time to wherever (getting whatever done) or what’s going on right now.
I have two loves. My 3y9mo loves his 1mo sister. I plan to encourage the love and try to bite my tongue when he becomes “too loving” and calmly correct him rather than excluding him. Hopefully he never turns sour and his love continues on
I currently only have one child, 7 mo but we have a lot of cousin love right now 😉
I have two boys, ages 2 & 5. I am expecting a third boy on Feb. 3. I believe having boys is so wonderful and watching them bond together is heartwarming. So far, my boys bond the best when hey play or interact with something they both enjoy, such as their love of racing each other. 🙂
I have 2 daughters aged 5 years and 20 months and am expecting a boy in aboiut 3 weeks. I encourage sibling bonding by enouraging them to play together and do all sorts of activities together and always reminding them to hug and kiss goodnight and goodbye – and when saying sorry.
I have a 4 year old and a 15. Month old that are the beat if friends! We are introducing another baby sibling in August! Thanks for a great giveaway!
I have FOUR beautiful babies! I like to encourage sibling love by example!
We have a “Kindness Jar.” It’s an idea a got from Pinterest about a year ago. It’s a jar we decorated, that has a bunch of slips of colored paper and each one has a “act of kindness” on it. This has worked for us and I like that it encourages redirection, rather than focusing on disciplining. =)
We have a 18-month old son and are expecting another one in July. Love those tips and will certainly try them! I’m not close at all with my sister and would love my little ones to be able to get along better and have a companion for life.Thanks so much for sharing your story!
I have 4 children ages are 6,4,2 and 2 months! I love love seeing how much they care for each other. The older ones love feeling like they are big helpers so I have them do little things to help with the new baby like sing to him if he is crying.
I have a 12 month old and another baby due June 4. My little one doesn’t quite understand yet but I am always pointing to my belly and telling her about the baby. I also plan on giving her a gift from the baby once it’s born!
I have just one son. He is 14 months old but I am excited to see what a great big brother he will be someday
We only have our first child, but I’m glad to read about strategies for the future!
I have 2 children and am pregnant with our 3rd 🙂 I have found that leading by example and oftentimes just letting them work things out on their own can lead to growth in their sibling relationship. Solving problems can be a wonderful way to build character and relationships. I find that if I don’t butt in, they usually get along better 😉
Still haven’t told my 2yo that she will be a big sister shortly after her 3rd birthday. I’m excited and nervous about the changes. When should we tell her and would the 20 week ultrasound be a good time, maybe let her come?
Let her come! She’ll love it and it’s so exciting to share that experience with them. As for when to tell her, really, whenever you’re ready and ok with her telling everyone else. The more time she has to adjust to the idea, the better. Encouraging her to start connecting with even just the idea of a new baby will help. Congrats! ~Jessica
I Hav 5 Children, 2 Daughters 16 & 9, & 3 Boys 14, 7 & 2. I Try To Encourage My Older Ones To Play Or Help Th Yngr Ones By Doin Their Hair Givin Baths Or Just Playin With Them. It’s A Good Learnin Experience For Th Older & Th Yngr Get Enjoyment Out Of It.
I have one and one on the way! and I really liked the nurture their nurturing !
I have one child right now. We do hope to have another soonish. I can really relate to the concerns/questions you had when thinking about having your second child. It is encouraging to read all your great suggestions and to know that you have 6 who seem to get along beautifully.
I have one 7 week old boy. When we do have another we will encourage bonding.
I only have one daughter for now, but am expecting our 2nd child this summer. So, I don’t have any tips but am interesting in reading all the responses! For now we’ve been encouraging DD to play with her dolls and got her some “doll stuff” (crib, high chair, stroller) for Christmas. She seems to love taking care of her toys & stuffed animals like we take care of her, so I hope that continues.
<3 so adorable. It melts my heart when my 3yo loves on his baby sister
I have 5 children 13 yr boy/ girl twins 8 year old son, 19 month old son and a 5 day old son. My 13 yr old daighter is my savior. She helps with all the boys. Now I just need some tips in the jealousy my 19 month old has for my 5 day old!
I have a 19 month old and baby #2 is due any day now so I’m still worried about adding a new baby but I love hearing about the bond your girls have! I’m planning on using baby wearing definitely
I have 3 children. My oldest 2 are 19 months apart in age and so from a very young age we had shared toys that they both played with. As they have gotten older they have toys that belong to them, but they usually are willing to share them anyways. Our youngest doesn’t really have anything she is particular about, yet, but her toys are in a shared area and everyone plays with them and she doesn’t have any problems sharing them, even at 11 months. If my children want something that someone else has we encourage them to ask the person first if they can use it, then wait until the person is done with the item.
My husband & I have been thinking about starting to try for a second child soon now that our daughter is 15 months old. This post made me realize that my fear of not being able to give both children all of the attention & mommy time they need & want & feeling like I’m unsure if I can love another child as much as I love my daughter is normal & that I shouldn’t let those fears stop me from giving my child a sibling & adding more love to our family. Thank you for this!
We have 10 kids 8 boys and 2 girls ages 23 years old to 10 months old and love the way they all interact with one and another, they are their own best friends. We use baby wearing to get out and do the things with the big kids like camping, hiking and other out door activities that we wouldn’t be able to do with a stroller.
I wear my 2 year old as well as my 3 month old. My midwife introduced me to baby wearing and I’ve been doing so for the past two years.
I’m on my first child and baby wearing is allowing me to care for him while still pursuing a nursing degree and a lactation consultant license.
1! Trips together
I have 3 girls almost 19, 2 and 5 months. The 2 year old helps more than the 19 year old! My 2 year old still thinks she’s the baby and the baby is her new friend. Not really a baby. Every minute of the day is something new and comical.
We have 4 boys, one in heaven. I loved your post about siblings!
Loved this post! I have a 5 y.o. girl and 2 y.o. boy, they do fight a lot, but they love each other so much, I just love when they hug, kiss, ask for forgiveness. We encourage a lot of affection and it definitely is incredible watching their bond and their play.
This is my third baby, but first to breast feed. I love this site, it’s so open and encouraging!
We have 3 now. 11, 7, and 5 months. The oldest, a girl, has always helped take care of the babies, a lot with this one. He has reflux and colic so I have needed a lot of help. Her and the big boy play together a lot when I am busy with the baby. When they argue we have them give each space and do things alone for awhile. They appreciate their time together more after that. They also help each other with their chores and work together to keep lil man happy when I am busy. The oldest also wears the youngest in a moby wrap for me when I am cooking and can’t do it myself.
I have 3 daughters 4 5 and Almost 8 monthswith this Last Pregnancy my older girls were completly involved in all of the midwife appts helpedlisten to the heartbeat etc. They were there for her birth also. I think that helped them have a huge Bond from the very beggining
First little one soon. I would encourage bonding by including everyone in and have a lot of family time. Thanks for the chance to win!
I only have one child and an working on convincing dh that another would be Fab. I have 1 full brother, 2 adopted sisters, a half brother and a half sister. I don’t want my soon growing up without the bond of siblings.
Love babywearing!
I have a 2 1/2 year old and we are expecting our second daughter in 25 days (or less)!!!
I can’t wait to see the sister bond grow!
I love reading about sibling bonds! I’m the third of 5 and have been blessed with close bonds with each and everyone of them. With my sweet little one I hope and pray she has the same and better bond with her future siblings
I have DS 21 months and DD 3months. I help DS bond with DD by having him help me with her, like fetching diaper, etc. he loves her so much!
We have one high strung baby, but are looking forward to having more! Hopefully just not as high strung. We’re thinking 4 with the possibility of adopting!
I have a 6yo boy and a 7mo girl, and everytime she “drops” a toy, he runs to pick it up. After a few reps, he gently reminds her that she can’t keep doing it, as he has other important things to do. We never ask him to do anything for her, but we try to accept and compliment him as much as we can.
I have two boys and I make sure my older son gets his own time helping out with and playing with the baby.
We only have one kiddo for now (4 months on Saturday. holy cow!), however I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. The pictures are beautiful and the advice is wonderful. It brought back so many memories of my own childhood to read this. I grew up with 2 brothers and remember doing so many of the things mentioned in this post. Thank you for sharing your stories and advice with us. A lot of what I would’ve shared seems to have already been mentioned: sharing responsibilities, helping parents, taking care of younger siblings, etc. 🙂 We can’t wait to expand our brood.
We are expecting our second. I enjoy
Talking with my son about what a great big
Brother he is going to be!
My husband and I only have one baby boy so far but plan to have more 🙂 we don’t have any baby wearing gear and I’d love to have one of these adorable carriers! The mini carrier is so sweet 🙂
I’m so thankful for mommy blogs, I learn so much being a first time mom. Thank you!
We only have the one babe, so far, but plan on/hope for another 1-2 to join him. I love the suggestions in this article, especially re:talking each sibling up and allowing them to safely work through things. In my own life I have found that shared experiences (both good and bad) have been helpful in regards to my relationship with my sibling.
I have four children ages 8, 7, 2 and 2 mo and I encourage bonding between the older and younger children by letting them help with bath time and eating snacks together, ect. My 8 yr d daughter is very involved with my youngest and I show her trust by letting her watch her while I take a shower or cook dinner. 🙂
Expecting baby number 2 and this post really made me anxious in a good way. I can’t wait til my girls meet!
I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. I agree with a lot of what you said. I try really hard to not nag my older one about what she is doing wrong when loving on my younger one. I find my older does better if I tell her all the good and right things she does when she interacts with her baby brother. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I have one son, 15mos, but am eagerly awaiting (possibly too much so, as SO might say) having a second child together someday in the (near) future. I would love to give my son a sibling, and I would feel really good about having multiple children in my home.
I have 3 boys I love the mini baby wearer!
I have 3 kids. 2 girls and a baby boy. The last 2 were only 18mos apart, so right now my goal is to not neglect giving attention to the 18mo old because of the baby. The girls play pretty well together even though sharing isn’t always easy for the 18mo old. However, they are both very sweet to the baby. 🙂
We’re TTC our very first baby right now, but considering my husband and I are both only children tips like these are solid gold for when more babies come along!
I have 5 children, but only 4 are living. In many ways, number 4 dying has made a huge impact on their relationships with their other sisters- especially number 5. I have learned so much about love from watching them together. I love the way they always praise each others’ efforts. And I love that they are strong for each other, and work to keep each other safe. They have the courage to speak up against something dangerous, or even do things like get a flu shot they don’t want, to protect the baby- because they don’t want to lose their sisters.
I have a 14 year old stepdaughter and a two year old daughter. I think it is important to include both children in everything we do but also make some time for each to have their moments in the limelight. I also don’t ask the older child to babysit or take over any other parenting duties with the younger child. I had to do that a lot with my younger siblings and it can cause resentment.
My five in May son is adorable with my 9 week old daughter. He waited two years for her, gave her her middle name, calms her gently and kindly when she cries and tells her things constantly… It helps she’s always been very interested in lego!
We have two boys, 4 and 1.5. I try not to interfere with their spontaneous, happy moments but bring them up later during quiet times with our oldest.
I am 33 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. I have an 11yo that I adopted from foster care and the younger 3 are biological. I will have 3 under three by the time I give birth! Whenever I am out in public by myself with my children, many passersby tell me, “You’ve got your hands full!” Accomplishing errands would be impossible if it weren’t for babywearing, especially once the newest baby arrives.
Encouraging sibling harmony is definitely challenging with a fiesty 2 year old. Diligent supervision, guidance, and modeling appropriate conflict resolution are necessary with both his older brother and his younger brother as he has yet to learn boundaries.
I have a 19 month old. She loves taking care of her babies and would love the little carrier 🙂
We have one with one on the way so this article speaks to me in the moments of uncertainty and excitement.
My older two adore their little brother but they get on each other’s nerves easily.
I have two boys.
ages 17 months & 4.
They don’t really get a long since my oldest has had Strokes. :/
So I really have no tips for that!
my kids ages 5 and 8 love each other but when they get board they bug each other. Keeping them busy is the key
We have 2 girls (almost 7 and 6 months). Our oldest daughter is a little mommy & is such a great helper. She loves her little sister & our littlest just adores her big sister. I love watching them “play” together. We have involved our oldest from the very beginning and there hasn’t been any negativity or jealousy (except a little the first few days).
I have a 5 year old and a 1/2 year old, and I am currently pregnant with our third boy. When My youngest was born, I made sure that I included big brother in everything that happened with the baby. When it was time to eat, I let him help me burp the baby. When I had to change the baby, he handed me the clean diaper and the wipes. At nap time, big brother would lay down on the play mat with the baby and watch a movie. It made him feel important and special!
I have 2 kids, a 2 year old and a 4 month old. I encourage sibling bonding by having my toddler help me with the baby 🙂
I have 2 children, and I encourage my oldest to “help” me with everything involving the baby (including diaper changes… he picks out the diaper)
12mo old and no sibling yet–I often worry when we have #2 how do you offer as much quality time as we did with our first. Loved this article 🙂 no advice here 🙂
I am due in March with number 4. Our older two boys (7 and 6) share a room. I have heard that sharing a room helps build a stronger bond for siblings in adulthood. I hope so because they have difficulty with each other now but they both adore their younger brother.
Just one for now. So no advice to give
I’m really struggling with our addition of #2. I’m in love with the little guy, but in struggling to find balance. I really worry that my older son is not getting enough mama time. I’d love to win one of these to help ease the situation.
Great post! We have a 3rd girl on the way and I hope that they can all have a tight bond like your girls . 🙂
No babies yet :(. Really hope this year!
I’m about to have my first, but would like her to have one or more siblings fairly soon.
I love these tips! i have 1 baby right now and am hoping to get pregnant this summer…so love the tips on siblings
My daughter is almost 3 and my son is 1.5 months. We are tandum nursing right now and I love to see them looking into each others eyes. It’s so sweet. I really hope nursing them together helps foster their bond.
I have a 2 year old son and I’m due with Baby #2 in less than 3 weeks! I’m hoping that the Big Brother presents that my son will receive when they first meet and tandem nursing will help them bond early on.
I am currently expecting my 4th girl and getting really excited to meet her! I feel like we have encouraged sibling bonding by letting each child know how much they are loved and that love is endless and independent of any one else. We make them feel special as individuals, which makes sibling rivalry nearly non-existent.
first one on the way and I’m excited for baby wearing 🙂
I only have one, so I have no tips.
two – having the preschooler show the baby how to do things 🙂
We currently have 2 toddlers, and hoping to have a couple more! We love big families! We encourage sibling bonding by letting the older one help get things like diapers, or juice for his little sister to make him feel like such a big boy. We love playing games together as well, stacking blocks is also something fun that they both enjoy!
I have 3 Isaac 5 lily 3 and Adrian 5mos best thing for them to bond is to just play the more there share and laugh with each other the more they learn about each other i found the best way for that in drawing and letting baby watch or to pretend his drawing
I’m expecting my first baby, and I’m so excited!
I have 2 boys, a 6 year old, and 6 month old. The older boy is the best big brother in the world. He absolutely adores his little brother. I actually encouraged him to babywear the other day because he wants to hold the baby while standing up. Winning this pack would be wonderful for both of us!
I have two children ages 14mo and 27mo and I encourage sibling bonding by praising them when they play well together, and pointing out how much fun it is to play with others.
I’m blessed with two lovely children 18 months apart. My oldest lil girl is 20months and baby is 8 weeks.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant I was so happy
my little momma would have an opprotunity I never had, being
somones sister. We’ve encouraged their relationship since I was showing.
She’d kiss my belly and pat it. And its so moving seeing her noe pat the baby’s back and
give him morning kisses. She actually is so in love with “brover” she gets mad
If other people hold him and wants to kiss him as soon as she’s awake.
I have two boys under 3. We sing songs, read books, all three of us snuggle up on the toddlers bed for naps and they both fall asleep, take baths together and big brother helps with baby, when big brother loves on little brother we praise them both and tell big brother his little brother loves him so much.
I have one 2.5 year old, but I am mesmerized by this post and the pictures and am passionate about nurturing connection, empathy and respect for others, and love of community for all children. A beautiful post!
3-my 3rd born a week ago. Spend lots of time together, read together, explain baby takes time and mommy did this with you, etc.
I have two kids – an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. They each love when I wear them and go for walks.
I am pregnant with my first. To encourage sibling bonding, I hope to find activities they enjoy doing together.
I have 6 children and my youngest is only 6m. My children bond with him by him doing things for him. And they bond with each other by playing mostly.
We are still TTC, but we would love to have several! We also want to encourage bonding by spending time doing what each child doing what they want and teaching them that it is important to spend time with your family.
We have a 3 month old and can’t wait for more, and my brother and sister in law are expecting their first…cousins can be almost as good as siblings!
Two kids – I like to talk to my two year old about the baby and all the things that we did with her when she was a baby. Things like, “He’s crying a lot because he’s a baby. You used to cry a lot, too!”
I only have one, but just like you I want to make sure another is good for everyone.
I have 1 – I’ll have 2 in less than 2 weeks though! Growing up, being together and playing together (board games when we were old enough) was a great bonding tool
We have four kids (ages 7, 5, 3, and almost 11 months). My biggest tip for encouraging sibling bonding is lots of time together.
Just one child – 4 1/2 months, no siblings yet
I have 2 kids, a 3 year old girl and an 18 month old boy. We foster their friendship in everything we do. We make sure to get excited for each other when something exciting happens. Now, when my little boy does something neat, his sister will get excited for him and hug him. He’s potty training and when he goes, he waits for a high 5 from his sister b/c it’s important to him. When we wake up, they hug each other right away, it’s so adorable. Mostly, they just do things together and it’s so special to watch.