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Embracing “Beyond”

January 25, 2012 by

Those readers active on TLB Facebook page know that {Laura} is one of our admins there offering balanced support, information, and a reasonable but caring voice to our community.  I’m so grateful for all our admins and thrilled to bring you a guest post from Laura, sharing where she is in her breastfeeding journey.  Though we are separated by an ocean, I can related to Laura and feel as though she is indeed one of my breastfeeding sisters.  I hope you enjoy this post and please, take the time to leave a comment sharing your thoughts and where you are on your journey.

The World Health Organization recommends that “infants start breastfeeding within one hour of life, are exclusively breastfed for six months, with timely introduction of adequate, safe and properly fed complementary foods while continuing breastfeeding for up to two years of age or beyond”.

When we started out, and for the first few weeks of M’s life, our goal was always “tomorrow”. We overcame initial difficulties (which I won’t go into here), tomorrows became todays became yesterdays,  and soon our goal was 6 months. In the blink of an eye 6 months came and went and we revised our goal to 1 year. This in turn passed, as did 18 months, and now we find ourselves a short few weeks from 2 years!

So, what next? Well, that would be “beyond”. Beyond is defined as “at or to the further side of”. Beyond can be something that women aspire to, and would love to reach. Beyond can be something that elicits negative reactions. Here in Ireland, beyond is RARE.

About 47% of infants here are breastfed on discharge from maternity care, and this already low figure drops to 22% at 3 months and less than 10% at 6 months.  I cannot even find statistics after 6 months!

A recent interview with a breastfeeding mother on national TV highlighted the often skewed public perception of “extended” breastfeeding.  This included the interviewer reading out the wrong HSE (Health Service) guidelines on breastfeeding! Friends of Breastfeeding (an Irish charity who can be found on Facebook) have details of this incident, and are also lodging an official complaint. When mainstream national media spread blatant misinformation, and barely stop short of ridicule, it’s no wonder that “beyond” is beyond comprehension for many.

So, we know that (here at least) “beyond” is rare, and not without controversy. Outside of the 2010 and 2011 breastfeeding challenges, I’ve only ever seen 2 other women NIP, and both of the children were infants. “Beyond” started off for me as an ideal and something we would most likely never attain. If pushed, I still could not answer why I thought that way, but I did.

However, there’s something about 2 years of tomorrows filled with closeness, love and nourishment that can change a girls mind. Not to mention the copious health and emotional benefits for both Mammy (n ; an Irish Mom,  pl –mammies)  and baby that are *obviously* too numerous, complex and amazing to mention here!

At this stage, beyond does not feel like the big, gaping chasm it had seemed to be in those first few “tomorrow” weeks. It doesn’t seem much different to the transition from Tuesday to Wednesday. Each day my little lady is but one day older than the day before, and each day that she continues to find nourishment and comfort at my breast is a gift to us both. I feel so grateful to have made it to 2 years of breastfeeding my little girl. Here’s to beyond!

 

Laura Griffin lives in Limerick, Ireland with her partner of 10 years Keith and MooMoo (23 mos). She is a nurse and a student midwife who hopes to be an IBCLC one day.  She is a passionate advocate for breastfeeding and support for families, currently volunteering as a TLB admin on the Facebook page.  She dabbles in crochet while listening to Dream Theater in her limited spare time.
Filed Under: Article, baby-led weaning, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding stories, child led weaning, extended breastfeeding, Featured, Leakie to Leakie, toddler Tagged With: , , , ,

Tips and Tricks from the pros- Moms and IBCLCs on biting and breastfeeding

January 23, 2012 by

My journey with biting and breastfeeding has been full of ups and downs.  I shared some of my story in this post about how I handled Earth Baby biting me by going against my instincts and flicking her on the cheek which led to a nursing strike and then weaning.  After that experience I began looking for more gentle ways to respond to my baby biting while at the breast and found some methods to be very effective for our family.

Biting comes up so often in conversations about nursing I decided to see what others would suggest to stop the behavior and save the boobs.  Sending out my question to the great world of Twitter, I got some great replies from some wonderful IBCLCs.

Practical tips for dealing with biting from tweeting IBCLCs

@NortoriousStar, Star Rodriquez, IBCLC (Facebook)

“I usually tell clients that their baby had to break suction to bite, so if they have a biter, to pull them off as soon as that happens. You have to pay attention and be fast, but removing the breast when they think about biting? That works well as negative reinforcement.  The fact that you’re removing the breast is negative reinforcement. Not all babies bite because they are done…and if they seem to want to nurse afterward, I usually waited a 2-3mins (and up to 5 if they actually bit.) It was a more gentle negative.”

@FeedYourBaby, Denise Altmen, IBCLC (website)

“Rub the baby’s gumline with a cold/damp textured washcloth using gentle pressure right before (breastfeeding).”

@NurtureNormally, Melissa, IBCLC (website)

“Take a break when it happens. Prevent w/pre-feeding cold.  Pre-feed cold: cooling/numbing baby’s gums with a damp, frozen cloth. Some moms make BM “popsicles” for this purpose.  Or make BM ice cubes and put them in a mesh feeder. Numbs gums so baby is more comfortable before a feed.  Also, some moms are able to begin to recognize when a feeding is ending (when most babes tend to bite) and end feed b4 bite.  Feeding slows significantly. Also, some babes tend to “quiver” their jaws before a bite and moms can use that as a signal.”

@Stylin_Momma, Katy Linda, IBCLC (website)

“I’d focus on comfort of the baby. Frozen wet wash clothes, ice cube in a mesh feeder, etc.  If you can get them comfortable before they nurse, they’re less likely to bite. Also, check latch, babies can change position to their comfort level when teething, and sometimes a quick adjustment can make a world of difference.”

@BreastfeedingNY, Deidre McLary, IBCLC (website)

“Swift, firm, consistent response: unlatch, say “NO, biting hurts”, put baby down, walk away.  Don’t reward behavior by keeping baby nursing. Take short break, separate. Baby learns biting = END of bfing session.

@DianaIBCLC, Dianna Cassar-Uhl, IBCLC (website)

“Press baby in, he’ll have to open mouth to breathe. Toddler? Firmly say ‘no bite!’ and put him on floor facing away.”

After sharing how flicking Earth Baby on the cheek to stop her biting led to early weaning at 10 months, I asked the Leakies on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page for their experience and any tips they had to gently stop biting.  Here’s a sample of their comments and you can find the original thread by following this link.

Leakies share how they handle biting

After sharing how flicking Earth Baby on the cheek to stop her biting led to early weaning at 10 months, I asked the Leakies on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page for their experience and any tips they had to gently stop biting.  Here’s a sample of their comments and you can find the entire original thread by following this link.

Kayla: We stop immediately.

Rose: Take him off (usually after forcing his teeth apart as he clamps rather than just bites) and sit him down next to me. I then tell him no I’m a stern voice and say ‘that hurts mummy, we don’t hurt people we love people.

Claire: my son never bit (thankfully) !! *phew*

Alishia: When mine bit me I would take her off and tell her in a calm but firm voice “no.”

Jennifer: My older daughter only bit me a few times, and never on purpose. I pulled back instinctively from the pain, but didn’t make a big deal out of it. She also bit my shoulder (hard!) when she was teething, so I know it was just her way of dealing with the discomfort of her teething.

Tonia: I say ouch, no bite and take the boob away, for 5-10 minutes and put the baby down. It only takes 2-3 times, I’ve done it with all 3 of my kids.

Jennifer: I just have to say, “OW!” and my little gal has a freak attack. People told me to flick her on the cheek and I was uhm, no. Poor little punkin’ doesn’t like just OW so I can’t imagine what flicking would do to her!

Tracy: My kids didn’t bite until they were older, over a year. so we ended the nursing session immediately when biting occurred.

Hayley: I’ve heard to pull their head into your boob and that is meant to work, never tried it as ds didn’t bite.

Kate: I found that my children mostly only bit me near the end of the feed when they were no longer hungry. So if they bit, that was the end of the feed for then. Worked great, hardly ever bitten.

Elle: I tell her no say ow & take it away for a few minutes. She only bites when she is sleeping now, and I’m learning when to take it out & when to leave it be.

Ashley: I tried the flick method and my demon seed laughed and bit me again. That’s what I deserve I guess.

Amy: I pop him off the boob, say “we don’t bite the boobie!” And give a break for a little while then try again… Still working on it.

Brandilynn: I slip my pinky between his gums so he can’t bite down any harder and tell him no biting mama, he can’t nurse if he’s going to bite me right now and take him off.

The Hook Up: my little one bit quite a few times. I always gasped (not on purpose, but it did startle him!) and firmly said NO and showed a mean face. He got it after a time or two, and there was no physical “punishment.”

Laura: I’ve always just yelped and yanked off for a minute. I’ve had to pry my little guy off a few times because he’s got a mean streak and will bite when he’s in a bad mood.

Kit: With my DD, what had it come and go fairly quickly was to detach her, sit her facing me, and tell her “no, we don’t bite. That hurts mommy and mommy doesn’t like it.” When she would pout, I’d give her a hug, tell her that she can’t do that because it hurts, and put let her relatch. I had to be consistent and it took a few weeks, but it worked, and it stopped completely. We nursed for another 4 months or so after our last biting incident.

Jessica: My method is to scream, “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Kovi, please stop!” lol. I can’t say it’s terrible effective, but it’s the only thing I can manage to say/do at all.

Vicki: I used to put my finger in DD’s mouth to unlatch her, then progressed to pushing her head into my breast and now at 19 months saying no very very firmly and pinching her nose. She usually laughs at me though but only bites when teething now.

Leanne: I just yelped which startled baby enough to stop then relatch and carry on. If it happened again I would remove baby and put boob away for a minute. It did work eventually! Biting really hurts!

Karen: Well, first I yelped “Aaaahhh” and it startled him enough to break suction. Then I looked him in the eye and said, “Ouch, biting hurts!” Babies are usually empathetic enough to understand the sad and hurt look on Mom’s face.

Misty: When he bites I tell him no and sit him on the floor. He cries for a few seconds then I pick him up and let him nurse again. Normally, this stops the biting.

Tristen: I have put my son down, I also flicked his cheek and felt how wrong it was. I have had to step back and realize he only bit when dealing with teething pain so I addressed the teething pain and the biting all but stopped.

Jeanette: Sometimes I gently pinch my Daisy’s chin. She just laughs at me. If I ‘close up shop’ she gets mad and cries. I always, always give in and put her back on the boob. If she does it at night while we’re laying down, I know it just isn’t time for her to go to sleep yet. I haven’t really gotten her to stop biting (not that its that often) and I don’t think I will. I am just happy that we are still nursing strong at 16 months!

Nichole: When mine bit I gently pulled them off, placed my fingers to their lips and said no bite in a firm tone.

Jenna: I told both my daughters ‘ouch, that hurts’ and made a sad face. After a few times of that, they stopped. I think it was just a phase anyhow.

Erica: We used Kellymom’s smush the face into the boob technique.

Elisa: Sometimes just ignoring it works. My son thought it was funny when I would say ouch, or yelp. So I just didn’t say anything, unlatched him and put him down. He stopped within days.

Lauren: Biting led us to a 2 day wean at 1 yr and 2 days. She ripped open my nipple for the second time and it became too painful to nurse. I tried holding her nose to get her to unclench as well as yelling no. (she’d been biting for over two weeks and drawing blood) Nothing worked. My aunt, who nursed three babies, gave me the advice to yell no and set them down far away from you, ending the nursing session. I think this would have worked but we never got the chance to try it because I received the advice the day we weaned for good.

Ginny: Whenever my boys nipped me when nursing I would gently slide a finger between their mouth and my breast to break the latch and say a stern ‘No!’. I’d then lay them next to me for 30 seconds before re latching them. I found this worked well and continued to breastfeed both sets of twins to over 12 months.

Victoria: I was told by my breast feeding support group to take the baby off the breast, put them down & in a firm voice tell him not to bite because it hurts. This wasn’t very effective at first until I started putting him down & walking away out of the room. When he realized that he wasnt getting milk or mummy he soon stopped.

Amanda: I would blow quickly on his face to get him to stop and then put him down. If he came back we would try it again. It only took a couple of tries before he stopped.

Amanda: I always said ouch and would take them off and say ouch that hurts mommy, then put them back on.

Maureen: It makes me terrified to put my nursling back on after he bites, but I realized that he only bites when he’s done and just wants to play- so paying attention to when your nursling bites is a good idea. I also yell every time because I can’t help it! It hurts! I wish I didn’t!

Jessica: I just push my breast further into her mouth, most of the time she bites because her latch is lazy and she’s not paying attention. That makes her open wider and latch better, which in turn stops the biting.

Ginny: I yelp and say no biting.. and put it away for ten minutes or so.

Chelsea: When I realized my daughter was starting on that phase, I waited, finger ready, and popped her off as soon as she began to bite down. I didn’t even set her down, just said, “That hurts Mama” very calmly, and waited a few minutes before resuming nursing. She would get so upset at her dinner being interrupted, but it only took a couple of times for her to realize that biting accomplished exactly the opposite of what she wanted it to. I figured out incredibly quickly that the worst thing I could do was react a lot-she thought it was funny. But I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her feelings, so popping her off was the most I could bring myself to do.

Natalie: I wish I could say I reacted all nice and calm. In reality I was reading while she was nursing, so the bite was completely unexpected. I screamed and bopped her on the forehead, she popped off the boob and cried a bit, I apologized to her and said “We don’t bite Mommy.” She resumed nursing and never bit me again.

Nicole: I firmly tell her no, put her down somewhere safe and give her something she can chew on. Sometimes I give her a cold teething ring before nursing if I know she is teething to help prevent bites. We seem to have this issue for about a week right before/after a new tooth.

Amanda: I went with my instincts (which I have learned are never wrong when it comes to mothering) and let out a gentle “ouch”, made a very sad face, and said, “that hurts mommy”. I also paid attention to when it was happening.. often it was when I was watching TV or looking at my phone while nursing, Emmaline wanted eyes on her, my hand ruffling her hair or massaging her ear.

Amy: I was told to press my baby’s face into my boob; forcing him to break the latch since he couldn’t breathe.   I’ve had yet to do it.

Ariel: just unlatch him/her every time they do it for 5-10 seconds.

Stacy: The first time my son bit me I immediately took him off the breast for a few minutes. I only had to do this a few times before he figured out that biting = no boobie.

Margaret: I yelp, “OUCH” and pull him off. Usually it results in tears. Its never resulted in a nursing strike even though I yelp pretty loud (I’m not one of those people that can hold it in when I’m hurt by surprise). He’s still nursing even though i’m 11w pregnant and dried up!!!!!

Richain: My first only bit a couple of times but learn quickly that mommy wasn’t kidding around. He would bite, I would say OUCH! That hurt mommy! I would separate him and remove him from my lap to the floor (safe place) for a minute then pick him back up and nurse again. He was a quick learner… biting means nursing time is cut short. My second nursling has not bitten yet… but teething has started

CaryAnn: Honestly? I couldn’t handle it and began weaning. I tried “no biting!” a few times first.

Lori: With my oldest, he bit me at 7mos and we stopped nursing and started pumping til 1 yr. With Judah, I just put up with the biting. I have tried “no bite”, stopping the feeding, pinching, flicking, and he still bites. He started biting at 3mos and just turned a year. It’s not intentional/malicious, so I guess you just get used to it.

Krista: I just pull them closer in to me..so they are forced to release their bite (my little one would bite and not let go!). Then I say firmly, “No biting.” You just want to get their attention and interrupt their eating. They’ll look at you like, “what’s going on? Why’d you stop?” Do that enough times and they should get the hint.

Marilyn: Say OW LOL I push her face into my boob a bit, makes her let go because she thinks she can’t breath. then I look at her and say We don’t bite, that hurts mama. She onlyseems to bite when she is semi interested so I usually stop the feed right then and there too. resume later.

Lucile: With my first child I’d say: “no biting, biting hurts” for the first bite. For the second bite in a row I’d repeat it and add “if you keep biting I’ll take it away.” The third bite I’d put her down and say “OK, you’re done.” Sometimes she cried, but I drew the line at being a chew toy! With my second, I’m more aware that she bites when she’s having teething pain or is bored with nursing and feeling devilish. I can usually anticipate a bite and detach; if not I do the same as above. I usually give her something she CAN bite and say “if you want to bite, chew on this.” In my experience, biting comes and goes, so you may have to repeat this lesson several times.

Erin: I bring the baby in very close (covering the nose so she’ll let go) and then end the feeding right then. I also found that *most* of the time I could prevent the biting by paying attention. A baby who is actively nursing can’t bite, and my kids all have bitten me when they were done nursing and just hanging around. So I became very vigilant and watched for an end to the active suckling. One of my kids actually got a “naughty look” on her face right before she was going to bite. And I found that if I was multitasking while nursing, my kids were more likely to bite because I wasn’t giving them my undivided attention.   So I just watched them closely, and ended the feeding with a frown if they bit. They learned pretty fast that if they wanted to nurse, then no biting.

Aimee: Mine only bit if there wasn’t really any interest in nursing right then (shallow, lazy latch), so I just closed up shop and tried again later. Easy for everyone involved. 🙂

Marta: Jonathan has been very gentle over the past 13 months, but there have been bitings here and there. I immediately remove him when that happens. Although sometimes I know his biting/painful latch is related to teething, and then I usually just go with it, because I know he didn’t intend to do it, he is just in pain himself.

Fonta: I was taught by my midwife to push the boob into their face which smothers them for an instant and they always let go and it only takes a few times…very effective and still loving.

Sarah: I’ve definitely got a little nibbler on my hands. She’s almost 10 months and has had teeth since 4 months. I just pry her mouth open and unlatch her and set her down on the floor. She gets the point quickly! And typically only bites when she’s teething or not really interested in nursing. The worst is when she’s falling asleep. Oouuuch!!

Carissa: My little one only bites after she has finished feeding so I just make sure I detach her when she has stopped actively suckling. I’ve tried saying no firmly and detaching her as soon as she bites, but because she’s already full she doesn’t care. The thing I’ve noticed is the more I react the more she enjoys doing it… She giggles and bites harder if a yelp!

Colleen: Take her off and set her on the floor. A baby cannot nurse and bite at the same time. Clearly she was just playing or wanting my attention. 😉

Cheryl: With my LO, I just put up with the biting. From what I’ve seen, biting can be a sign of frustration (at least, past the exploratory stage – mine is 17 months and still does it!) so when she bites, I take the boobies away and try to remove whatever is frustrating her before she nurses again. It usually works – even a sippy of milk to quench her thirst helps sometimes, if she is frustrated by not getting enough milk.  When she does bite, I either slip my finger in her mouth to release the bite or pull her towards my breast, basically smothering her with it LOL but she has to open her mouth to breathe, so she lets go. She is doing it less and less now, the more I do that.

Shauna: When my 14 month old bites I put my pinky inside his mouth and gently pull his lip in a fishhook type motion which distracts him and he let’s go and I try to communicate “gentle, no biting please” sometimes it works 🙂

Anna: In a light hearted voice I said ” oh?! You’re finished???” and take him off and our my bra back on. He looked confused then I’d bring him back to the breast… If he did it again, I’d repeat. I never caused him any distress but he got the hint – if he but I thought it meant he was finished!

Melissa: Nothing. Absolutely nothing has worked for my son. So every feeding, without fail, he bites. And now that I’m pregnant too, the pain is unbearable, but I don’t have the heart to wean my baby.

April: I have to be VERY attentive and just stop it before it happens.

Rebecca: I jumped because I wasn’t expecting it… Was chatting at the time to a friend. But since I just tickle her feet (10month old) as she is very ticklish… And makes her laugh. I Don’t make a big deal of it and couldn’t upset her because I know she doesn’t understand that it actually hurts me.

Molly: With our girls I yelped (not exactly a plan, it hurts!) and blew in their face. That was unpleasant for them while nursing but not painful. If they bit more than once in a session they were done. All three figured it out fairly quickly, even at 3, 4 and 5 months when they got their first teeth.

Nicole: The first time my little one clamped down on my boob I yelled ow pretty loud because it shocked me. She let go really quick and looked up at me to see why I yelled.  She’s done it a few times after that so I just tell her no biting and put her down. She’ll cry for a bit then we’ll resume. Pulling her into my breast doesn’t work. She actually pushes her face into my breast before she bites sometimes (advance warning for me).

Michelle: It doesn’t work immediately but I always push on their teeth/gums and tell them no bite every time.

Kasey: The first time I told her No Bite! In a firm voice and she cried so hard. I felt terrible. She has done it a few times since but not like that first time so I am hoping I got the point across.

Tamara: Watch for circumstances that tend to lead to biting like being really tired, being at the end of a feed (baby being satisfied), teething pain or frustration. Watch for the baby to pull to the tip of your nipple. My experience is that they usually pull to the tip before biting.) When you notice any of those things, unlatch the baby. Really watch baby every time for common factors that proceed the biting.  If you can’t get ahead of the biting and she clamps down, first don’t pull away. Pull baby close. This prevents extra pain, and a lot of babies will unlatch at this point. If she doesn’t unlatch at this point, unlatch her yourself. Find something that you say every time it happens. I said, “No bite. When you bite, you don’t eat.” (If they bite while latched, they’re not eating anyway.) Then wait a few minutes before offering the breast again. If that means rehooking the nursing bra, pulling your shirt over the breast so that baby can’t relatch, do that. If baby is interested in resuming the feed after a minute or two, offer the breast and repeat what you said earlier. (I would say, “Remember: No biting. When you bite, you don’t eat.”) If baby relatches and bites again, follow the process again except completely end the nursing session. My experience is that if it’s not a problem of baby being in pain, they bite when they are finished eating anyway.  You will go through the process several times before the baby gets it. (Tristan continued to do it for a while but gradually got to where it rarely ever happened at all–like once a month when teething was a problem or when he hadn’t napped enough–until he just hasn’t done it at all for a long time.) It’s a learning process, so remember to have patience and love in your demeanor no matter how much it hurts.

Kari: Mine only bites with teething, thank God he still has no teeth. But I pinch his nose and he pulls off, and doesn’t continue to do it.

Rachel: I learned to stand on guard with my finger near his mouth… I could tell when he was about to clamp down and would insert my finger, remove him, and walk away.

Melissa: I flicked my first nursling too, worked great, but my second was sensitive so I would cry from pain and refuse to nurse for a minute or two and then relatch while holding his hand and teaching “soft touches”. Worked great, so that’s what I’m doing with number 3 too.

Lorna: Using baby signing to signal pain helps get the message across too.

Tracie: I tapped my babies on the nose and said no. This worked with all 9 of mine.

Stephanie: I would unlatch my son, sit him down, adjust my shirt, tell him my breasts were in time out, get a cup of water for myself, and come back. It only took 3-4 times for him to get it, but I left the room so he could see the result of biting.

Kinberely: I thought that with my son it was a cue to end nursing but when I’d unlatch he’d route around to feed again, think he is hungry just teething too.

Heather: Easy, I tickle them!! 😀 they get distracted, giggle and let go!

Katherine: The first time my soon bit me I didn’t even think before I flicked him. He cried but never bit me again. I felt horrible though. With my daughter she has bit me a few times, the first time was right after her sister was born and I was so sore that all I could do was cry which freaked her out. My husband had to take her and was more upset it than I was, I was sad that I scared her but it hurt SO much. She has nipped me a few more times but each time I tell her no, tell her to be gentle with mommy’s breasts, and have stopped nursing her for a minute so she understands that if she’s not gentle I’ll take the breast away. She hasn’t bit me in a few weeks so I think she got the point. She’s moved on to putting her fingers in mouth or holding hands with her sister while they nurse. Way cuter than biting.

Ma Ma: The first time I pressed her into the breast to make her release and said no and showed the sign for no. She was teething her first two teeth at the time. A couple days later she bit down pretty hard! I said no and signed it then sat her down on the floor (I was in the chair) she cried and didn’t nurse for two days (except for at night when she was half asleep). That nursing strike scared me so bad and I thought she was gonna stop nursing at 8 months…I remember sitting in bed with her that second night saying it was ok and mama wanted her to nurse. She would move in and then shake her head and cry 🙁 I was crying too. I finally think she just understood and it was ok but just not to bite because when I finally got her to latch (while she was crying) she tested the nipple with her Lil gums and then when she went to with her teeth I said “no teeth…hurts mama” we got passed that and now she’s 13 months old and we’re nursing strong.

Aliza: Wow Jessica, a very similar thing happened to my 10 month old, she bit, and I screamed very loud… and she never nursed again, I had to pump for another 7 months. She finally tried nursing again recently at 22 months! But at that point there was no more milk.

Dorothy: It’s depended on his level of understanding. Generally, a quick re-latch did the trick. Though if he was cutting a tooth it often took several tries. Once I could tell the difference between accidental biting and purposeful biting, I would simply end the nursing session with a “NO BITING!” (Stern not loud). Generally, I’d unlatch, cover-up, if he cried I’d make him wait 5 minutes and let him back. Sometimes he was done but decided my nipple was a better toy. I could tell because he’d unlatch and go play.

Kivy: I’m exactly where you are. “pressing the baby into the breast” seems to work and be more gentle, but honestly, it freaks me out when she gasps for air. She seems less bothered than by the flicking, but it’s more disturbing for me.

Amber: Flicking worked wonders for me. Didn’t slow any of my 3 down for nursing, but it curbed the biting. I’m so very sorry that it didn’t work for you. I’ve heard the putting them down, away from you, works too. I could imagine that might traumatize the right child too though. I imagine it’s all about your child and what work for them.

Adventurous Shoestrings: After trying bad advice, I called my local LLL chapter and received a great tip. I told my then 7 month old “no biting” before our nursing sessions. If he bit after hat, I would break the latch and say “biting hurts mommy.” I would end the session and reoffer if he wanted to nurse. I also tried offering a teething ring before nursing or right after a biting incident. It worked for us.

Paula: I didn’t have too much trouble with dead on biting, but there was lots of messing around. I just kept removing the boob each time it happen and talked sternly. If you bite me I can’t nurse you. Eventually, I had to wean the first at almost three because he sort of forgot how to nurse when the milk dried up during my pregnancy with the second. The second I nursed til almost 4, and just had to gradually shorten the time, because, frankly, I was done. But the removing the boob thing really checked the naughty stuff. I mean when they start chomping and look up at you and smirk, you know, they know that they are pushing it. But it is so cute.

 

What you chose

Remember, it may take a combination of approaches to stop your nursling from biting and it can be done gently, without flicking or scaring your child.  Be consistent and as patient as you can with the process.  You don’t need to be a martyr, it’s ok to want the breastfeeding relationship to be mutually positive and beneficial for both you and your babe.  Setting boundaries, even with a young one, that respect your physical person are important and won’t damage your relationship with your child, in fact, it can be very healthy for both of you and be a critical part for a long lasting, pleasant breastfeeding experience.

 

Caution

Sometimes I see it recommended to numb the baby’s gums with a numbing agent designed for teething just before bringing them to the breast.  My concern with this would be the potential problem that can come from a child swallowing the numbing agent, losing feeling in their tongue and throat.  The potential risk for choking and poor latch don’t seem worth the attempt when there are other safe and effective options available.  If you choose to use a numbing agent on your child’s gums to help with teething pain, waiting until after a feeding is probably the safest time to do so.


 

All images used with permission and generously shared by the Leakies on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page.

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What time would you share with someone that has just started dealing with biting at the breast?  

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Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding health, breastfeeding help, breastfeeding stories, breastfeeding support, Facebook, Featured, Jessica, Leakie to Leakie Tagged With: ,

Breastfeeding and biting- mistakes, surviving, and what I’ve learned

January 23, 2012 by

After working out how this whole breastfeeding thing works, most breastfeeding dyads settle into a sweet, easy breastfeeding relationship.  Mutually satisfying and safe, mom and baby usually find comfort in the breastfeeding journey they share.  And then one day, SNAP!  Or maybe CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!  Instead of the wood nymph, rainbow farting unicorns breastfeeding experience, you’ve got a surprisingly powerful yet small jaw with or without teeth gripping your nipple, a sick feeling in your stomach, and a barely stifled screech of pain.

A regular concern and related questions we see on The Leaky Boob Facebook page is dealing with biting.  It’s scary, putting your breast into another person’s mouth and hoping they don’t decide to chomp down.  Particularly when that person doesn’t understand why that would be a bad thing or even that it would cause you pain. In my own breastfeeding journey I have had plenty of biting babies.  I’ve examined my breast with deep teeth marks, red and throbbing from clamped jaws, and had tears sting my eyes as I gasped for breath when my nursling has decided to go at my boob as if it was a steak.  I’ve even had blood drawn and the skin broken.  Yep, I’ve been bitten and yep, it hurts, and yep, I’ve lived to tell about it.

The truth is, bite happen.  Er, make that bites happen.

With my very first nursling, 13 years ago, I acted on the advice to flick my baby on the cheek when she bit me. At first I couldn’t do it and just yelped and told Earth Baby no bite. That didn’t work. She bit me only a few more times but the last time I was frustrated and fed-up and went with what I had been told to do: flick her on the cheek and tell her no. Her face immediately reflected the confusion and betrayal she felt, up to that point I had never intentionally hurt her and she had no idea what she did to deserve such treatment. Neither did I.  As she wailed and refused to nurse I knew that I should have trusted my instincts to not hurt my baby. She never nursed again, that traumatic experience led to a nursing strike that led to weaning at 10 months. My sensitive little girl just couldn’t trust me.  I pumped for another two months in order to reach my goal of a year but Earth Baby never accepted my breast again.

So what’s a mom to do?  Fearing a nursing relationship with a potential piranha could be enough to discourage anyone from breastfeeding.  It’s no wonder that many women decide they are going to breastfeed only until the first time baby bites or teeth come in and then that’s it.  All or nothing.  Stop or be bit or worse, injure your own child to stop them from biting. It doesn’t have to be that way though.  For starters, why borrow trouble?  Not all babies bite and some that do don’t do so roughly so it’s possible that you’ll never even experience a piranha on the boob.  Secondly, there are ways to handle biting should you have a nursling that wants to sink their teeth into something, namely, you.  It doesn’t have to be the end, in fact, it can actually be the beginning of the give and take that all relationships eventually need to develop.  Working through biting can strengthen your bond, give you confidence as a mother, and give you and your nursling a new dimension to your relationship.  Like all hard times, it’s worth working through.

But how?  How do you work through it?  What do you do if you fear feeding your little one because of the possible nip or down right full on chomp?  There may not be one simple strategy for everyone but asking other moms that have been there what worked for them is a great place to start.  Seeking the advice of a professional lactation consultant is another.  I did both and have compiled the suggestions and experiences here, browse through and see what you think might work for you.

It also helps to understand why a baby or toddler might bite in the first place.  It is important to understand they are not biting to be mean or malicious, they don’t even understand that concept.  In fact, they don’t understand that biting even hurts until we teach them.  Unfortunately for mom, our natural response to hollar ouch may not teach baby that it hurts but rather that biting gets a funny reaction from mom.  Others may be frightened by moms initial reaction and require comforting or even refuse the breast entirely for a time being afraid of another outburst.  Controlling our response, admittedly difficult to do, and utilizing other strategies may be more effective and less traumatizing for both mom and baby.  Remember, babies and toddlers don’t bite to be mean and if you can, identifying the reason they are biting can help you figure out how to respond.

Reasons a baby or toddler may bite while breastfeeding and tools to stop it

Teeth are beginning to move and cut through the gum.  This hurts, the most painful time being before the teeth actually erupt.  Babies figure out pretty quickly that counter pressure helps relieve some of that discomfort and so they chew fingers, teething rings, corners of a blanket, anything they can find.  Including your boob.  Offer teething options, try comfort measures before putting them to the breast, be sure it’s feeding they want and not chewing time they are looking for, and pay close attention to their behavior at the breast.  Often, biting can be headed off before it even happens.

Bored and all done feeding.  This happens at the end of the feeding.  Being all done but not necessarily ready to move on, your baby or toddler may bite out of distraction and boredom.  Since they aren’t requiring milk any more, a lazy latch replaces an effective and safe no-biting latch and bam, you get bit.  Pay attention to changes of their jaw and tongue to stop the session before they bite.  Most babies will have a change in their sucking patterns once they’re really done feeding.  Slowing down, head shaking, jaw tension, looking around, falling asleep, etc. can all be signs that they’re actually done.  Break latch and move on to cuddles and hopefully you’ll avoid being bitten.

Not opening wide enough or needing to adjust latch.  In this case they are hungry, they want to nurse but as time progresses and changes, such as teeth, happen the latch needs to progress and change.  If the latch isn’t wide enough a baby or toddler is likely to bite.  This usually happens near the beginning of the feeding.  Unlatching and readjusting their latch, showing them what you want them to do by modeling a wide open mouth with tongue forward, and reminding them gently before each feeding session can help with this.  A different position that causes them to have to open wide to take in the nipple can also make this easier.

Physical limitations can cause biting.  Tongue tie is one example on the baby’s part, over active milk ejection reflex is another on mom’s part.  This is particularly true for younger babies biting or clenching with their jaw.  Seeing an IBCLC is the most effective measure for helping solve these type of biting issues.

Along with boredom, distractions can lead to biting.  Whether they are startled or just curious about what’s going on around them, biting can occur with distractions.  In this case, helping them focus can go a long way in reducing biting, try a teething necklace or something else for them to hold and play with while at the breast.

Saying “hey, look at me!”  Maybe you’re multitasking and they want your attention solely on them.  Biting can be a way of getting your attention on them.  This is probably just a phase, meeting their need for connection with you, make it a priority to look into their eyes, talk with them, caress their head, etc.  Remember, they don’t do this to be mean or demanding, they do it because they legitimately need this time with you, you’re their world!

 

What I do now

I honestly can’t remember if Lolie, my 3rd baby bit me ever but I know The Storyteller (#2), Squiggle Bug (#4), and Smunchie (#5) all did.  Never again did I flick my baby to teach them not to bite, I utilized other strategies using a combination of tools.  Kathleen Huggins’ book The Nursing Mother’s Companion gave me some great tips on dealing with biting and when I find I need reminders I still reach for my trusty breastfeeding resource, I love and use Kathleen’s suggestions.  Heading off biting when possible has been by far the most effective.  If they did bite on the breast I try to break their latch by sliding my pinky into the corner of their mouth along side my nipple.  If, for some reason, that doesn’t work or their grip is too strong for it to work, I pull my baby into my breast which will cause them to let go.  I don’t care for that move personally, it just makes me a little uncomfortable to block their airways if even for just a second which is why I don’t try it first.  However, it is effective and safe and my babies have never seemed to be frightened because of it.  With my younger babies I just make eye contact and say “ouch, no bite please” and offer the breast again, keeping a careful eye out that they’re are indeed interested in continuing the feeding of if the bite because they were done anyway.  Knowing that they have to change their latch to be able to bite and pull their tongue back, I pay attention for any subtle changes and break their latch before they have a chance to bite again.  If they don’t seem to really be interested in continuing the session, we move on to other activities and wait for cues that they are ready to eat again later.  For older babies I sit them up an say “ouch, no bite please” and place them on the floor near by, offering a toy for them to play with.  If they still desire to breastfeed they will let me know and I’m willing to try again, reminding them to open wide (which I demonstrate) and saying “remember, no bite.”  Again, paying close attention for any subtle shifts in their latch, I aim to remove them from the breast before they have a chance to bite.  If there is a second attempt, I repeat telling them no bite and then tell them “all done nursing right now” and move on to our next activity.  Depending on each child’s personality, I may have to repeat this 1-6 times but it rarely is a stage that lasts long.  For me, resorting to tactics such as hair pulling, flicking, or biting back are simply not an option, I can’t intentionally inflict pain on my child, particularly when I know there are other effective options at my disposal.  I never want my child to associate fear being hurt by me, particularly at the breast.  I’m so grateful I found other methods and have been able to successfully end biting without the devastating results Earth Baby and I experienced.

All images used with permission and generously shared by the Leakies on The Leaky B@@b Facebook page.

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What have your experience, positive or painful, been with biting and breastfeeding?  

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Filed Under: Article, Biting, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding help, breastfeeding stories, Featured, guilt, Jessica Tagged With: , ,

Toddler Breastfeeding, Frustration and What Keeps Me Going

June 14, 2011 by

For the last week I haven’t liked breastfeeding Smunchie.  Not just not enjoyed it but skin crawling, hair pulling, hiding in the bathroom couldn’t stand it.  I can’t tell you how much I’ve hesitated to admit this.

When Smunchie started walking I smiled and thought “wow, I’m now breastfeeding a real toddler again” and it was sweet, special and adorable.  It didn’t seem like a big deal either, just a natural transition easing the reality of my baby, more than likely my last baby, growing up.  I’ve breastfed toddlers before but this time I was more tuned in, intending to savor every moment, holding onto it because it was one of the last.  I told everyone I wasn’t going to try to convince them to breastfeed their toddler, just talked about breastfeeding mine.  Like a fairy tale marked only occasionally by moments that were just slightly less than fantasy, I rode the unicorns over the rainbows of my breastfeeding dreams once again into nursing toddlerhood.

Having breastfed toddlers before I know they can become little gymnasts at the breast, start drive-by nursing and attempt to help themselves if necessary.  They don’t hesitate to ask for it by name, loudly and repeatedly and they can become quite demanding.  I know all this, I’ve been there before so I knew what was most likely coming.  But Smunchie’s transition into toddlerhood and breastfeeding was sweet and full of sunshine kisses.  I was the freakin’ wood nymph breastfeeding a toddler while fairies fed me bites of ambrosia and sips of nectar as my cherub toddler caressed my cheek as she sweetly nursed while we gazed into each other’s eyes.  Rainbow farting unicorns.

And then last week Smunchie became that toddler.  Any time I sat down was clearly an invitation for her to breastfeed (really, what else could I have to do sitting down?) and she rejected any multitasking on my part.  She also solidly learned and established her word for breastfeeding, one created and handed down by a big sister, Smunchie now whispers, sweetly chirps or screeches “BOBBIE!” when she feels she needs to nurse.  Which, as it turns out, is all. the. time.  When she was a sleepy newborn with heart issues we could’t get her to wake long enough for a feed and if we let her she’d easily sleep 6-8 hour stretches from the get go causing much worry and alarm clock setting.  Now though she would be happy on the boob every hour, sometimes 3 or 4 times in an hour.  And sometimes she could be on the breast for 25 minutes, others she’s struggling to focus for 5 but if I close up shop she freaks as though I took her unfinished ambrosia meal away.  She’s also gotten jealous of the other girls giving me hugs, climbing up on my lap for a cuddle or even sitting next to me.  To be clear, it’s not really about me as much as someone else coming close to her precious bobbies.  Then there’s the standing nursing, the dancing nursing, the upside down nursing, the head flop nursing, the splits nursing, the humming nursing, the snacking nursing, the in and out of the pool nursing and the just-because-I-love-it-so-much-this-is-the-best-stuff-in-the-world-nursing.  There’s also the entertainment she creates while nursing, the pinching, the scratching, the tickling, the mole picking (Oh how I roar then), the smacking, the foot in the eye, the hand in the mouth and the random but oh-so-predictable raspberry blowing.  I’d love to say that I have a halo permantely over my head and the patience of a saint but the truth is this behavior is starting to make me a little crazy.  Or, a lot crazy.  The wood nymph is now chained to the couch with a screeching gremlin demanding the breast.  And the unicorn farts are not rainbows.

Now I’ve probably scared everyone away and you’re thinking “that’s what I’m in for?  I don’t want to be a wood-nymph!”  Before you go running for the least wood-nymphy outfit you can find that makes the boobies completely inaccessible to your nursling let me explain a few things.

This is normal. Not because my darling nymph baby has now morphed into a gremlin but rather because her toddler development is right on track.  She’s really come to understand that we’re not the same person which means her beloved “bobbies” can walk away.  Very scary when your favorite food source can freely move about.  Oh yes, she absolutely MUST capture it every chance she can!  CARPE DI LECHE!

Move it baby! Not only does she now realize the bobbies roam freely but she’s also discovered that she has a fairly decent amount of mobility all on her own now.  In fact, she’s exploring all the different way she can move and really, what could be better than having boobies around for the exploration?  It’s a good way to be sure she’s hydrated and keeps track of the boobies so they don’t get away.  I mean, really, can you blame her?

She needs more. As she grows her nutritional needs do too.  In Smunchie’s case she’s not a huge fan of solids, she’ll eat somethings really well and others not well at all.  We offer a variety of whole foods often and frequently but some days she just refuses to eat anything solid.  Except carrots, she’ll always eat carrots.  It shouldn’t really surprise me then when she wants to breastfeed more often because she needs something to fuel her.  And I know that breastmilk is still perfectly adjusted to her needs and her body can tell that too which is why she wants it so much.  Check out this info. from Kellymom.com on how mom’s milk meets so much of a toddler’s nutritional needs. (If you haven’t seen this yet you’ll really, really want to.  Hint: it’s pretty awesome!)  By the way, in case you’re wondering, no, I’m not concerned that she’ll never switch over to solids and give up breastfeeding all together and no, I don’t think breastfeeding past 1 year old has messed up how she eats. I’m completely confident that she’ll one day be quite happy to let the bobbies go.  In fact, have you ever met anyone that didn’t stop breastfeeding at some point? Have you ever met anyone that was still dependent on breastmilk as a teen or adult?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

(Also, this study is kind of interesting which is why I’m randomly sharing it here.  The Abstract basically says that the longer a child is breastfed the more they will talk and more words they will have.  Which makes me realize I’m really doomed and The Piano Man and I have almost no chance of getting a word in edgewise around here.)

It makes her feel better. Toddlers fall a lot, get hurt or become frustrated. (Or get pushed/hit by an older sister.)  So much change happening so quickly, what are they supposed to do?  Sit down and rationally talk about it?  A pat on the back?  As adults we think that eating to comfort ourselves is bad but it’s really because of WHAT we eat when we’re eating to comfort.  Smunchie wants more perfect food?  If I reached for spinach or a head of broccoli when I was upset instead of a tub of ice-cream I’d be in great shape.  Smunchie doesn’t always need to breastfeed when she falls down but sometimes she really wants to and the skin-to-skin, the familiar taste and smell of mom and the position of being cradled all combine to be way better than spinach or broccoli.  Or ice-cream for that matter.  I would go so far as to say that by responding quickly to comfort her with the breast if that’s what she wants I’m helping her develop the confidence she is going to need one day to figure out how to comfort herself in healthy ways.

She talks! New words happen daily and she’s clearly assimilating all the nuances of communication.  Everyone around her are fairly decent experts at communicating and she’s trying really hard to get there.  Learning how to tell me she wanted to nurse the same way she hears other people communicate is a big milestone for her because, let’s face it, up until now breastfeeding has really been the most important activity in her life.  Now not only can she sign for it but she can verbally communicate.  Verbally communicate that she wants it with a full spectrum of volume.  She really HAS to use it!

Our relationship is changing.  She doesn’t always want to be held or worn in a carrier.  These days she really likes to get down and do her own thing.  Sometimes she loses track of me.  Others she gets so busy exploring and playing that she forgot to see what I was up to.  And then there are the times where mommy finds her standing on top of the piano or scaling the book shelves (that are anchored) and she’s quickly and quite rudely snatched from the middle of her adventure by fun-ruining mommy.  In those moments she may need to remember our connection, a crucial element of who we are to each other is our breastfeeding and it reaffirms our bond quickly.  Specially if she’s hurt that I’ve ruined her fun.

Boundaries. Smunchie’s developing behavior serves as a reminder to me that she is indeed always growing.  My baby is, in fact, leaving babyhood.  As much as breastfeeding has helped ease this transition, these new behaviors from her help to make the transition real.  As our relationship changes so does my parenting.  In our breastfeeding relationship I’ve realized I need to set some boundaries for both of us, it’s time.  Breastfeeding is a mutual relationship, it has to work for both of us.  Part of Smunchie growing up means her seeing boundaries not only for herself but for others.  This week I’ve started putting some of those boundaries in place with our breastfeeding relationship just as I’ve had to do with her big sisters.

  • This is normal but I have other responsibilities and children that need me.  If I know she’s ok and fed I don’t hesitate to make her wait a few minutes to breastfeed if I’m busy with making dinner, tending the needs of one of her big sisters, or need to transfer the laundry before I can sit down to nurse.
  • I love my baby’s new moves, she’s quite talented.  Still, my nipple isn’t a rubber band and I really don’t care to have it yanked around as she attempts a 360 degree turn while latched.  Or a full back flip.  Just like when she was a new born, if it hurts, I stop it.  Like with biting, if she continues I end our session telling her “ouch, you’re hurting mommy” then put her down and offer a toy that can handle the acrobatics.  Sometimes she’s happy to move on, others she gets upset but I find that she is much more settled at the breast then.
  • Her nutritional needs have increased and I love that my milk is up for the challenge.  Not crazy about being a snack bar though, I limit the number of times at the breast if she’s crossing into 2-3 times in an hour and sometimes offer a healthy snack instead of the breast to get her to stretch to 2-3 hour intervals a couple of times a day.  She’s also recently discovered that she likes almond milk and will accept that in a sippy cup when I need a break.
  • Knowing I can comfort just about any hurt is an incredibly empowering knowledge as a mother.  Knowing that she can get hurt every 10 minutes makes me tired.  So we’re developing other comfort measures.  Smunchie has a lovey and a baby doll that she loves to cuddle with.  When she’s been hurt (feelings or otherwise) I help her locate these items and cuddle her with them.  I also make it a personal rule to never pull my breast out assuming it’s what she’s going to want, I wait for her to ask for it.  When she does, I take it situation by situation and either find alternative ways to comfort or go ahead and nurse.  Having a big family, Smunchie has the added benefit of lots of other pairs of arms that would love to give a cuddle so I build up The Piano Man and her biggest sisters as sources of comfort too.  We have discovered that they all excel in getting her calmed down and moving on much faster than I can.  This also helps when I’m feeling touched out and is a great preventative measure to keep resentment from building when I’m at that point.
  • With our relationship changing Smunchie has started to really communicate that she doesn’t like me multitasking while breastfeeding.  When she really needs me she will reject me holding anything, watching anything or talking to anyone while she’s at the breast and wants me to stare down at her, stroking her hair and talking to her.  To respect her boundaries I try to be sensitive to that need and give her that when it’s required.  In doing so I’ve noticed that she doesn’t come back as soon to nurse again.  That connection established she’s secure enough to move on and explore again.
  • When she screams “bobbies” at me I try to respond softly and gently, affirming that I understand what she wants.  Children learn most through modeling and Smunchie very often drops her voice to the same tone I’m using.  I try to respond very quickly when she does to affirm this positive behavior and thank her for asking so kindly.  Which may explain why “thank you” is one of her new words too.
  • Letting go.  She and I are both having to start letting go.  It’s a gradual process but one that happens none-the-less.  I don’t believe that Smunchie is doing this to manipulate me.  I really believe it’s a part of the developmental fast track she’s on as a toddler.  Recognizing that she is going through a lot right now reminds me to respond more gently when what I feel like doing is rolling my eyes and locking myself in the bathroom.

All these realizations are very helpful in keeping me going when the going gets tough and the boundaries give me hope that this won’t be forever.  My patience is growing, maybe, little by little.   We’re not going to stop breastfeeding any time soon, I know she’s not ready for that and truthfully neither am I.  That does’t mean I never feel like stopping, nope.  I still feel crazy sometimes and I am still a little irritated at the unicorns a few times a day but we’re going to be fine.

One of the most cathartic moves I made as I struggled this week was to admit how I felt.  One evening in a moment of frustration and fatigue and the 4th time Smunchie had nursed in an hour when I had planned on being very productive I hissed at her “I HATE nursing!”  Yep, I said that.  And, in that moment, I meant it.  Twenty minutes later, I didn’t.  Ok, maybe it was more like two hours later but whatever.  The point is it wasn’t what I believed even if I felt it.  More importantly, even if I did believe it for myself my belief that breastfeeding my toddler is important and worthwhile is stronger.  To be able to stick with it though I had to admit how I felt and find ways to keep going.  Admitting it on Twitter was even more cathartic.  Because there I found out I’m not alone.  I typed, deleted, retyped, deleted, retyped, waited 10 minutes before I finally tweeted : “Dear world, right now I’m so sick of #breastfeeding. My toddler is constantly wanting to nurse and I am starting to go crazy. It will pass.” I was scared, what would Twitter-verse think of The Leaky Boob admitting she was sick of breastfeeding?  I even went so far as to add my own “it will pass” to dismiss my feelings and hopefully preempt any replies of the same.  Though I had some, mostly I was surprised by the number of replies saying they were feeling the same way.  When Stylin_Momma replied with “@TheLeakyBoob I needed someone else to admit that. Thank you. I’m trying to tell my 2.5 DD that she has to wait at least 1 hr btwn sessions.” and “I’m trying to encourage night weaning. These things make me feel like #breastfeeding support phoney. So thank you.” I wanted to jump up and down.  In fact, I might have.  The rest of the day I tweeted with Stylin_Momma and a few others about how we and our nursing toddlers were doing, passed around ideas and strategies and shared funny stories.  By that afternoon I was feeling much better and encouraged.  We weren’t breastfeeding support phonies just because we admitted we weren’t enjoying breastfeeding at the moment.  If anything, we were as real as breastfeeding support comes and could offer support from the trenches, knowing that sometimes it really isn’t all rainbow farting unicorns.  That day I leaned on my fellow breastfeeding-a-toddler moms and we propped each other up giving each other a chance to commiserate, laugh and develop some new tools for this phase of breastfeeding.

There are many great and wonderful parts of breastfeeding a toddler too.  I look for them and savor them to try and have a more balanced perspective.  That afternoon I pulled out a basket of instruments for Smunchie to distract her from wanting the boob again.  She immediately forgot about breastfeeding, or so I thought, as she became engrossed in the instruments.  Playing chimes on a drum and wooden xlaphone, Smunchie started singing.  I returned to what I was doing, smiling at the banging and chiming filling the living room as her little voice soared.  Then I realized what she was singing, the first time I’ve ever heard her put words to her songs.  Over and over again in sweetly sustained notes she was singing “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBIEEEEEEEEEEE!  BOBBIE! BOBBIE! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

See, only a toddler could write a song about how much she loves her bobbies.

Filed Under: Article, Boobs, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding humor, breastfeeding stories, child led weaning, extended breastfeeding Tagged With:

I’m Not Going To Try To Convince You To Breastfeed Your Toddler

April 18, 2011 by

Three weeks ago she took her first independent steps.  Tentative and kind of shuffley, she did about 3 before dropping on all fours and crawling.  And that was it.  She wasn’t interested in more.  Between plenty of arms to carry her where she needed to go and lightning fast maneuvers on her hands and knees, she just wasn’t in a hurry to move her 19 pound, 30.5 inch frame around by walking.  Just the occasional effort of 2 or 3 steps, smiling at her audience as she performed her newest trick, Smunchie toyed with the idea of walking just to get a reaction from her family and it totally worked.  I was more than fine with this, it made her seem like my little baby a little longer and after my first 2 girls I learned that late walking was actually a gift and saved me a few months of running.

Then this past Saturday it happened.  I could see the shift.  It wasn’t a game any more, it was a goal.  She didn’t look to see who was watching and smile as she moved a couple of inches.  No, she decided it was time, looked at where she wanted to go and walked.  Within 24 hours crawling was only when she needed to go faster than she could manage walking and within 48 she was walking simply for the fun of it.

With that I’m officially breastfeeding a toddler, a 15 month old toddler.

It’s been a slow transition.  I don’t consider 12 months to be the magic turning point from baby to toddler but rather when a flexible idea of milestones and behaviors emerge.  She’s really a toddler now, gets her feelings hurt, picks her nose, shrieks “baba” when she sees another baby, is figuring out how to annoy her sister for fun and now walks.  Also?  She breastfeeds like a toddler.  Today she shoved a board book down the top of my shirt, grinned and signed milk.  Apparently I breastfeed a toddler AAAAAND board books.

I’m not going to try to convince anyone with this post that they should breastfeed their toddler, not this post, not this day.  Maybe some other time.  To be honest I’m not sure what there is to try to convince anyone about, to me I’m just feeding my baby still.  Sure, she’s changed and she’s bigger but she’s still my baby and I’m still her boobies, er, mommy.  But I will say that I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding toddlers.  Smunchie isn’t my first toddler to nurse, 2 of her big sisters did as well.  (The other 2 didn’t because I never planned to go past a year and, silly as it sounds, didn’t even know you could nurse a toddler.  Please, do not ask me what I was thinking, I have no idea.) Breastfeeding a toddler is an adventure but one that I’ve always eased into because our babies don’t just change suddenly.  Growing up doesn’t happen up over night, it’s a progression.  Good thing too because giving birth to a toddler sounds like the worst thing ever.  So while Smunchie did seem to just decide to walk one day everything leading up to this point was gradual, preparing both of us for this next stage.  We’ve already made it past so much that this doesn’t seem weird in the slightest.  Ok, maybe in the slightest because I can’t believe she’s this big already and could swear she was just born a month ago. So weird in that sense.  Like buying size 5 shoes.  Certainly not any more weird that cleaning snot off my boob and I’ve been doing that since her first cold at 3 months.

Some of my love/hate relationship of breastfeeding a toddler:

Love: Easing the transition of my baby growing up.

Hate: Lazy toddler latch.

Love: How comfortable and experienced we both are with breastfeeding by now.

Hate: How demanding or specific she can be about HOW she breastfeeds concerning position and me multitasking.

Love: The laughter and giggles we share when she’s at the breast like we’re telling each other secret jokes.

Hate: Fair weathered nursing- some times other things are way more interesting.

Love: The toddling steps up to me with a huge smile and signing milk.

Hate: That sometimes she’ll do that 4 times in an hour just because she can and it’s a new game.

Love: How she will gently touch my face and gaze up at me with the most wonderful and indescribable look in her eyes.

Hate: How sometimes she smacks me and giggles or tries to snatch my glasses.

Love: How if I’m already holding her and she wants to breastfeed she’ll sign “please” on my chest instead of hers.  I melt.

Hate: How she can climb up and start trying to get the breast on her own if I’m sitting down and the melodrama that ensues if she doesn’t get it right away.

Love: Knowing that the milk that grew her to this point can still keep her growing and strong.

Thinking of Smunchie’s new status as a toddler I asked the Leakies on our Facebook page for some of their observations on breastfeeding toddlers including the fun and not-so-fun.  Here are some of my favorites:

Aimee:  Constant motion and constant distraction.  As in, the baby is in constant motion and constantly distracted. 😉

Melissa:  Fun – able to sooth owies and tantrums; not so fun – drive by nursing sessions.

Carla:  The incessant ‘twiddling’ on the spare boob! Drove me to distraction!

Christi:  The unintentional boob flashes.

Rianne:  Being able to really tell you that they want to nurse. the way they really examine the breast before they nurse.  also not worrying when LO is sick, and not really eating. As long as she nurses, I don’t have to worry at all.

Laura:  I really liked how he knew what he wanted, and would stop everything at the end of his busy day to snuggle down and nurse. I hated how he would cry for “boobie” whenever he was told No or given a time out for something.

Jessica:  I loved that I could fix any owie or any tantrum with a boob.

Kiel:  This morning my 16 month old decided that it would be most comfortable to nurse while laying upside down…belly on my face. Then she proceeded to kick me in the head for a few minutes. That is about as bad as it gets….not so fun, but funny and totally worth it! She looked like she was trying to somersault at one point 🙂

Jennifer:  The 30 second sessions all day because he can’t concentrate on any one thing longer than that! Lol favorite thing, when he looks at me and smiles while he’s nursing.

Claire:  My son used to climb onto the lap and then want to feed standing with his bum stuck up in the air!

Jessica:  My 21-month daughter can do a 360 without unlatching.

Rachel:  Fun: nursing can fix any problem. Not-so-fun: toddler wants to nurse to fix every problem. 🙂
Fun: feeling close to my busy, active toddler. Not-so-fun: feeling overwhelmed by my demanding, needy toddler.
Fun: surprising myself by still breastfeeding at almost 22 months. Not-so-fun: the feeling in my gut when I think about her weaning.
I never planned to nurse this long, but I wouldn’t change it for the world now!

Christy:  DS (17m) often brings toys with him to nurse. It’s fun for me to see what he thinks is that important that he needs it to nurse.

Kim:  Fun: Instant cure-all. Not so fun: Toddler nursing acrobatics. Toes don’t belong in my eye!

Kimberly:  The only cuddle time my on the go kid would give me.

Shalan:  Fun: How he shows that he wants his milk (waves arms and also does a variation of the sign for milk). Not so fun: The acrobatics!!!

Monica:  I wish my son (19 mos.) was one that only had 3-4 times per day that he nurses. Instead, he seems to be pulling at me ALL DAY, sometimes while screaming “Nuss! Nuss!” as he lifts my shirt wherever we are. But I do love how he will be earnestly nursing and pull off to say one or two words, only to go right back to nursing with a crooked smile. It is like he just has to tell me what he is thinking before he forgets!

Alexis: I love that he can respond when I ask “Do you want milk?” (he isn’t able to sign/ask for it yet), and I actually really find the 30 second sessions sweet, I love that he can latch himself on without my help these days, but the accidental boob flashes are maddening.

Lauren:  It’s really great to be able to have breastmilk in her when she goes through any fussy eating stage. I always know no matter how much or how little she is eating that her diet is well-balanced.

Anneke:  plenty boobnastics in here lol!

Amy:  Not so fun…the unsolicited comments from EVERYBODY about whole milk and “are you STILL nursing!?! Yeah…what does it LOOK like I’m doing!?

Carrie:  The best- it knocks her right out at the end of a long, napless day. It gets her back to sleep with little effort from me when she wakes through the night. It resets those toddler tantrums like nothing else will. It calms us both. 27 months.

Jade:  Baby pilates!

Amy:  Breastfeeding gymnastics is not cute, and that’s coming from a gymnastics coach!

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What about you?  What do you love/hate about breastfeeding a toddler?

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding stories, extended breastfeeding, Photos Tagged With:

Need Some Support? A Mother’s Boutique Giveaway!

February 28, 2011 by

I had the opportunity to interview Judy Masucci, the owner of A Mother’s Boutique and a sponsor of The Leaky Boob.  Her heart for all mothers, particularly breastfeeding mothers and her wisdom and experience is something I’m so happy to share with my readers.

TLB: What made you decide to start your business?

Judy: The short story is “I had a baby and it changed my life.” I was a corporate executive before having my son. After he was born, I went back to work and worked and pumped for 15 months before deciding to leave my corporate job to do something that would enable to me help other new moms be successful breastfeeding – and enable me to spend more time with my son. I had a very difficult time getting started with breastfeeding and I wanted to help other new moms like me. My son was also an AVID nurser and literally nursed every hour for the first year of his life. So no matter where we went, we nursed in public because by the time we got there, it was time for him to nurse again. I started by business with great nursingwear. I lived in nursing tops when my son was a baby and they were hard to find – none of the local stores carried them and the selection on the web was small and difficult to navigate through. I wanted to develop a place where moms could find everything needed in one convenient location and I wanted it to be easy for them to figure out what they wanted without having to go to 10 different websites to find everything. So I started with clothing, then added nursing bras, breast pumps, slings, nursing pads, hands-free pumping accessories and maternity items. I started my business in April of 2007 and just opened a retail store (in addition to my online store) in April of 2010. I also blog, facebook and tweet – all to connect with moms and provide support for them in any way that I can.

TLB: How do you balance work and family?

Judy: One of the greatest things about owning your own business is that you choose how, when, where and how much you work. For the first 3 years, I operated my business out of my home. So I could literally choose when I worked – and much of it was done late at night after my son went to sleep. Now that I have a retail store, my schedule is a little bit more rigid, but my son is also in school – so that makes it easier to have a regular work schedule. I still do a lot of work at night after my son goes to bed and even during the day when he is playing quietly (I just negotiated 15 minutes of time with him to let me finish this interview- we set a timer and when it goes off, I will stop “working” and go play with him). I probably work harder now than I did in my corporate job – but I work for myself, and when, where and how I want to – and I love every minute (well – almost – there are a few things I could live without LOL).

TLB: What’s your favorite breastfeeding memory?

Judy: I nursed for a VERY long time. Longer than I ever dreamed I would and longer than many moms do – one of favorite memories is actually when my son was older. One he was in a toddler bed (approximately age 2 – 2.5), he would wake up in the morning and come into my bed to nurse. We would nurse, snuggle and both fall back to sleep. It was my absolute favorite time of the day. It was loving, warm and there’s nothing better than falling asleep with a little babe in your arms. Ironically, as he got a bit older and started dropping nursing sessions – this was one of the first to go. I always thought it would be the last – but he would wake up and want to go play with his toys – sometime he wouldn’t even come get me, I would wake up and he would already be downstairs playing. I missed that nursing session most of all.

TLB: How would you encourage someone preparing to breastfeed for the first time?

Judy: I think the things I would say to the mom would differ based on if she was eager to breastfeed or if she was on the fence. I always encourage moms to read books on breastfeeding and to take a class – and most of all – to stick with it. If you get through the first 2 weeks or so (which for some of us can be a difficult two weeks), the rest of it is “easy sailing” and you will be so glad that you stuck with it. I think it is important for moms to know that it “might be hard” at first – because that way they know what to expect and they can prepare themselves and make it through. So many moms who don’t know what to expect think that they must have been doing something wrong and give up – all because no one told them that it might be hard at first. So I wouldn’t say anything to scare them away, but I also don’t hide the truth. One of my favorite articles to give to new moms is by Diane Wiessinger, and it’s called “What if I Want to Wean My Baby?” It walks you thorugh all of the benefits your baby (and you) get from breastfeeding – no matter how short or how long you do it for. I have given this article to moms who were on the fence and didn’t know if they wanted to breastfeed – and it helped them to give it a try – and I have given this article to moms had to stop breastfeeding sooner than they wanted to – and it helped them to see what a wonderful gift they have given their baby – even if they didn’t breastfeed for as long as they would have liked. I think it is an article that every mom and mom-to-be should read.

Nursing bras: ever wonder what size nursing bra should I wear? Judy’s here to help you find out and win one too!

Did you know that 70% of women are wearing the wrong size bra? And I bet that percentage is even higher amongst nursing moms. When you get pregnant and have a baby your body changes in ways that you could never have imagined. And for many of us – one of the biggest changes (besides the little life form growing in our bellies) is the changes that happen to our breasts! On average, most women will go up 1-2 cup sizes from their pre-pregnancy size to their breastfeeding size. But this is an average and the spectrum ranges from no changes to WOWZA – I didn’t know bras came that large! I have a friend who started out as a 34C and ended up a 34J – yes, that is “J” as in JUGS! She was a size small but had to wear size large shirts just to accommodate her bust.

Luckily, most of us won’t change that much – but any changes mean a new bra is needed. And since most of us started out wearing a bra that probably wasn’t the correct size, figuring out what our new size should be can be very challenging. Lucky for us, there are moms our there who want to help.  Judy from A Mother’s Boutique is one of those moms.  She specializes in helping moms find great bras and you can see from all of the testimonials on her website -that she does a great job at it. Whether you meet her in person or virtually via phone or email – Judy will be able to find you a great bra
that is perfect for YOU.

First things first – in order to get a great bra, you need to know your measurements. If you can get a professional bra fitting – that is ideal -but if you aren’t nearby a place that can properly measure you, just follow these simple instructions from Judy’s blog, Mommy News and Views, and you will be ready to go.

Now that you know what size you are, you need to pick out a bra that is right for you. And the difficulty here is that every bra runs differently -so even though you have measured yourself and know your size, you need to know something about the bras you are interested in to know if you need to go larger or smaller based on how it runs. For instance – some bras are sized S,M,L,XL instead of particular cups sizes – so you need to look at the sizing chart to see what size you will need. Other bras may “say” they are a 36D, but they really fit someone who is a 38D. Then there are the bras that have European sizing instead of US sizing – for those, you need a translator, because while a DD cup in European sizing is the same as a DD cup in US-sizing, an H in European is really a K in US – so having a conversion key to lead you through is crucial.

So once you figure out your size and find some bras that you like, you now need to know how bra sizing works – because it isn’t always as straight forward as one might think (or hope). A 34C and a 36B have the same “cup size” even though they have different letters – this can be very confusing when trying to get a bra that fits. If you try one one bra and it is too snug in the band, but fits in the cup, most women will just get the next band size up and keep the cup the same. But now this bra will fit in the band, but cup will be too large. If your 34C is too snug, but fits in the cup – you need to get the 36B, not the 36C. If only bra sizing were simpler – moms wouldn’t have so much trouble finding a bra that fits.  When you are shopping online – this is key because you don’t want to spend all of your time and money shipping things back and forth.

Believe it or not – it is possible to get a great fitting nursing bra even if you don’t live close to a shop that sells them. And Judy, from A Mother’s Boutique is here today to help out FIVE lucky moms!! Of course, she’ll help all of you if need or want help – but FIVE of you will get a personalized bra fitting and free bra* of your choice!
Winner #1 will get a free nursing bra (up to a $55 value)
Winner #2 will get a free nursing bra (up to a $30 value)
Winner #3 will get a free nursing bra (up to a $25 value)
Winner #4 will get a $15 gift certificate to be redeemed toward any nursing bra of your choice
Winner #5 will get a $15 gift certificate to be redeemed toward any nursing bra of your choice.

A Mother’s Boutique carries nursing bras ranging in size from 32-48 A-K and ranging in price from $14 up to $55. So there is something for every mom and something for every budget.

To enter to win one of these bras, please leave a comment below telling us why you need a new bra and which one you think would choose from A Mother’s Boutique if you win. This entry is REQUIRED in order to be chosen for a prize.

You can get a 2nd chance to win by stopping by and visiting A Mother’s Boutique on facebook. Her facebook pages is great source of interactive information and she has even hired a Certified Lactation Counselor to post information and answer questions from moms – so stop by, like her page and say “hi” – then be sure to come back here and leave a 2nd comment telling us that you did it. This entry is optional and will give you an EXTRA chance to win one of these great nursing bras.

That’s it – two simple tasks and FIVE lucky mamas are on their way to winning a great nursing bra along with a customized fitting!  Thanks to Judy for her generous giveaway, providing support for breastfeeding moms everywhere.  With 5 prizes, be sure to share this giveaway, an easy way for you to support other breastfeeding moms as well.  This giveaway will remain open until March 7th, 2010.  Good luck and have fun!

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This giveaway is now closed.  Good luck to everyone that entered, winners will be drawn through a random drawing using random.org.

Congratulations to our lucky winners!

Prize 1: comment 457 Larissa Brunken
Prize 2: comment 116 RaShes
Prize 3: comment 311 Katie Langan
Prize 4: comment 182 Rachel T
Prize 5: comment 68 Pocklock

Thank you Judy for this wonderful opportunity!

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Filed Under: Breastfeeding, breastfeeding help, breastfeeding stories, breasts, extended breastfeeding, giveaway

A Journey Through Breastfeeding and Visitation

February 6, 2011 by
This post is one I am most proud of and I didn’t even write it.  A guest post from a dedicated Leaky, I am honored to share the story of Charity and her nursling Keegan and his relationship with his dad.  Desiring to protect and preserve the breastfeeding relationship she worked so hard to establish with her son, single mom Charity explains how they navigated the murky waters of parental visitation with his father.  Demonstrating how important community is as not only support but in challenging us and providing resources, Charity details her journey from resentment and anger towards her son’s father to flexibility and sacrifice to be sure her son receives what is best and normal.  Knowing that The Leaky Boob community was a part of her story encouraging her along the way brings me great joy.  I’m so grateful Charity was willing to share her story with us, it is my hope that as she found support and encouragement from so many through The Leaky Boob, her words will now be passed on to support and encourage others as well.


I remember the strange guy walking up to me with paper’s in his hand. I had known in the back of mind this day was coming.  I had hoped and prayed it wouldn’t.  I even had my self almost convinced it wouldn’t, but here it was.  He asked for me by last name, but it was my married name, I told him no it wasn’t me.  Almost as if it would stop this moment.  Like it wasn’t happening.  Then he asked with my maiden name.  “Yup that’s me”, “you have officially been served.”  And he got in his car and drove off.  I didn’t even have to open the manila envelope I held in my hand, my world was crumbling around me and I couldn’t move.  I sat down on the ground right there, and cried.  I have two older children by a different Father so this should be easy. I have been through it before.  What made this so different, some may ask.  This baby had been raised differently than the other two.  This was my Attachment baby.

I started to go back to the very 1st moment, sitting right there on the ground.  It all started with an email.  And then a drive to meet him.  He was cute, really cute.  We were both nervous but really liked each other.  So I stayed the night.  And then the next day he said he loved me and I believed him.  He moved in not to long after.  We looked at houses to move into and talked about getting married.  We also talked about having a baby.  I wrapped the pregnancy test in a little box with a bow and he came home from base and opened it.  He wasn’t as happy as I had pictured he would be.  But I pretended he was.  Well that didn’t last long and he was gone.  I got the it’s not my baby.  He saw me once or twice while I was pregnant and then he was born.  I called him and told him and he said he might try and make it up.  So I sent to two text messages with pictures of the baby and he came up.  He teared up a little or maybe that’s my brain playing tricks on me.  He looked just like his daddy.  He told me he would come back and see him before we went home.  The baby ended up in NICU the next morning and he never showed back up.  So I brought my little man home and decided I would forget about the daddy.  I could do this on my own.  I had done it before.

I breastfed exclusively, wore him in a sling, co-slept, and didn’t let anyone watch my precious little man.  I had lost a baby 6 months before getting pregnant with him and so I wasn’t going to share him with anyone!  But I started to wonder once in awhile if his daddy ever thought about him and when he was 3months old I called him up.  He met me at a restaurant held him for a few moments and told me if I wanted to move out of state he wouldn’t stop me.  His words “I have screwed up your life enough, I won’t screw it up anymore”, hit me hard.  What screwed up my life?  You gave me the most amazing child ever.  And that was that.  He walked away.  That is until Child Support got started.  I got the it’s not my child a lot.  When Keegan was finally 6 months old we had DNA testing done to prove to him he was his.  He was.  I still wasn’t worrying about visitation.  He would pop in when he felt like it and I let him.  I figured as long as we weren’t fighting everything would be ok.  But then it happened.  We fought.  And then we didn’t talk at all, for months, no word.  Next I am sitting on the ground crying.  I called my mom and my dad, and a couple of friends.  I was grasping any emotion I could.  Anyone to tell me what I wanted to hear.  I wanted to hear this wasn’t happening.  I wanted to hear he couldn’t do this.  That wasn’t happening.  Why wasn’t that happening.  And then I started thinking, what about our breastfeeding relationship.  What about our co-sleeping relationship.  I have never left him with a sitter for more than an hour or two. He dosen’t even know this man.  I don’t want him to know this man.

One of the first things I did was email the creator of The Leaky B@@B.  One of my favorite Facebook pages.  I thought my fellow Leakies could help out.  I wanted to know how to stop it.  I wanted to know how I could get it so he didn’t get to see him.  I didn’t want to have to hand over my baby.  I still didn’t want to share.  I wasn’t ready to share. I also started on a frenzy calling attorney’s that dealt with attachment parenting cases, especially breastfeeding cases.  To my surprise there wasn’t one.  I don’t live in a huge town but it isn’t small ether, and I couldn’t find one damn attorney that would back me up the way I wanted them too.  So I found the one attorney that calmed me every time I talked to him.  Yup I said HIM.  His wife was a fellow breastfeeding, co sleeping, baby wearing, cloth diapering mama. He had this way about him that was so soothing.  And then Jessica posted my question anonymously on The Leaky B@@B Facebook wall.  It was bitter-sweet when I started reading the comments.  I didn’t hear most of what I wanted to hear.  I still didn’t want to share.  But I did get some AMAZING links.  And advice.  I also spent the next couple days staring at this amazing little boy I had kept to myself.  I only wanted to do what was I felt was best for him.  I wanted to shield him from the big ugly mean world.  And this big mean daddy that had hurt his mommy.  He was an asshole in my book.  A looser.  I had Keegan’s best interest in my mind.  Or so I thought at the time.

I had a Focus on Children class I had to attend through the court system in a couple days, and my 1st thought was the paper says NO KIDS!  Well that doesn’t apply to me, I am Exclusively Breastfeeding. I never leave my baby with anyone.  How am I supposed to go to this 3hr class and leave him.  So I did what any irrational person would do. I called the court house, and argued with the lady in charge of the class.  Of course I got the, honey the rules are the same for everyone, NO KIDS.  She did let me know it was my choice to show up to the class and if I chose not to I would be the one with the contempt of court charge.

So I got my sitter and, pissed off at the world especially the asshole making me leave my son to go to this stupid class, I headed out to the Focus on Children Class.  When I walked into the court room I thought “what a joke.”  This is such BS I have to be here.  The 1st speaker got up and started talking.  I of course was too pissed off to listen, until they brought in the family court judge.  Our judge.  He went on to explain that it was in our children’s best interest to settle out of court.  What?  What was this guy thinking.  I didn’t want to settle I wanted to fight, I was looking for a fight.  He poked the momma bear and this momma bear was mad.  He started to tell us why, sharing the effect an ugly court battle had on the children involved.  I have never cried so hard in front of people.  I was not going to let my little man go through this.  And then he said it loud and clear.  It was almost like the walls shook, “If the case ends up in court NEITHER parent gets what they want. We make sure of that.”  The best interest of the child is now in the hands of a stranger.  A STRANGER.  Is that what I had thought Keegan’s best interest was, a stranger’s choice?  This stranger didn’t carry him all day in the sling.  This stranger did feed him at his breast till he feel asleep.  This stranger didn’t wakeup 12 times a night making sure he was still breathing.  He didn’t know what was best for him.  I did.  I was his mommy.  I was the protester.  We watched a video that featured children in it talking about schedules and visitation and some were crying.  Heart broken their parents were fighting every time they got picked up and dropped off.  They asked why couldn’t they just get along for that moment.  I remember the most amazing thing I heard in that class: “Kids know a rock when they’ve got one.”  He explained it as there is almost always one parent that is the Splitting parent.  The parent that calls the other one names, wants to know what is going on at the other’s house, and having the child be a message carrier.  When your child grows up they will turn to the rock when in crisis and in need.  They will know that rock is always gonna be there for him/her.  I had decided at that moment that I wanted to be that Rock.  I didn’t want to be the splitter.  I wanted to be the bigger person.  I  wanted my son to be happy.  I didn’t want to have to hand over a screaming child.  I learned that almost any parenting schedule will work for children whose parents are cooperating.  That’s when I decided that’s what I wanted for my son.

That night  I went home and nursed my little man to sleep and the next day I went to see my attorney. He wanted me to write down three things. One was the visitation I wanted to give my son’s father.  Two the most visitation I would give him, and three the least amount of visitation I would give him.  Well I had a hard time doing that.  I still didn’t want to share, but I had some paperwork for my attorney.  I had printed off a couple articles that had been suggested to me through my question on The Leaky B@@B.  One was from  La Leche League International about the breastfeeding relationship and visitation.  AMAZING article.  I loved it.  A must read for anyone facing visitation with their breastfeeding child.  One huge thing I took from it was they are only little for so long.  Five years go by so quickly.  Why is the other parent insistent on every other weekend?  Is it because that is the norm?  Well In my case it wasn’t going to be.  Remember, I wanted the best for Keegan, not just what I wanted or what his father wanted.  I just had to convince his dad to feel the same way I did.  Ha!  You mean the guy I hadn’t talked to in months?  The guy that broke my heart?  The guy that took me to court instead of coming and talking to me!!  Yeah that guy. That same article talks about the kind of parenting style the mother has done with the child under visitation plans.  Read it, and then reread it again.  Make sure you memorize it.  And then just when you think you have it down.  READ it again.  Because it’s just at that moment when you find something else you were missing.  So I highlighted all the points in this article I felt pertained to my situation and gave it to my attorney.  Then he brought up the question I had been waiting to hear.  I knew it was coming.  You know he is a year old now and the courts aren’t huge believers in extended breastfeeding, so when do you plan on quitting so we have a time line we can work with.  Well I don’t plan on quitting.  I am in this for the long haul.  I am going to let him self wean.  And I brought a letter for that too, a Letter for Court Cases in support of extended breastfeeding by Katherine A Dettwyler, Ph.D.

I left the office that day feeling pretty good.   Keegan had to have surgery and per the court papers I had to let his dad know of the surgery and when it was and where it was.  Now did I want him to go, HELL NO.  I wanted to be the bigger person.  I really did.  But that didn’t mean I wanted to face him.  That didn’t mean I didn’t want to rip his eyes out.  I hated him.  He was taking me to court!  For my son.  My son.  I tried to send the email 5 times and all 5 times I hit cancel.  But I didn’t want to screw up the case so on the 6th time I hit send.  I got an answer very quick.  Thank you I’ll be there.  NOT the words I wanted to read.  So the night before the surgery I of course didn’t’ sleep at all.  It wasn’t because I was scared of the surgery.  Nope that didn’t scare me at all. This would be the second time we went through this.  I was scared because I had to face him.  I won’t lie, I prayed all night he wouldn’t show up.  I thought in the back of my mind how bad it would for him if we had to go to court.  I wished his car would break down on the way.  We got there, no dad.  They called us back, no dad.  Ten minutes to surgery and I heard the nurse say I think they are right here.  I swear I almost puked on myself when I saw him walk into that room.  And when I was asked who he was I squeakily answered this is bio-dad.  Not that he had another dad.  But I sure as hell wasn’t gonna give him the credit.  They took my little man back and this time I didn’t cry.  I was too pissed off that he was there.  So we were sitting in the waiting room and I tried to not say anything at first but I couldn’t my stupid mind had played tricks on me, I didn’t hate this asshole that had broke my heart, I still loved him.  So after surgery we were headed out to the car and I said “If you would like to come and see him you can.”  He said “I would like to sit down with you and talk about the visitation if we can.  We don’t have to go to mediation, if we figure it out together.”   I said we will see.

We sent a couple emails back and forth about not going to mediation.  He couldn’t afford the 120.00 hr. and I only could because I didn’t’ have to pay for it.  So I talked to my attorney and he said do it.  It will let us know what he wants.  So I wrote up what I wanted and printed off the same paper work I gave the attorney, highlighting everything he needed to read.  Grabbing the book Focus on Children, it was time for me to convince him everything I felt.  I showed up to the library and we sat down.  I had asked him to write down what he wanted and asked him for it and he said he didn’t have to write it down he wanted every other weekend.  Yeah, NOT!  No way I am thinking to myself.  One thing I learned from the Focus on Children Class was that in the state of Idaho, in most cases no judge will just hand a child over that does not know the other parent.  So I handed him my paper.  And it read as follows:

One hour a day for two weeks you must come to my house to see Keegan.  This is the fastest way to get a child to know someone.  This is on the child’s territory so the child feels safer.

At first he said no and then my tongue moved faster then it ever had. I was quoting the pages I had highlighted. I really didn’t even know I had them memorized.  And he got it.  He understood that Keegan would only be little for a short time.  That soon he wouldn’t be breastfeeding and needing mommy all day.  He understood that he needed short frequent visits. He understood that with breastfeeding until Keegan he self-weaned and the attachment parenting I was doing was what was best for Keegan.

After 2 weeks: for 6 months you get Keegan-Tues and Thurs from 5-7pm.  I will drop Keegan off at your house.

I chose this time because my older daughter has gymnastics and I would love to be able to watch her once in awhile.  That is also one of Keegan’s most well behaved times of the day. Also, I had learned that if you drop the child off then it is less traumatic normally because the child doesn’t have to stop what they is doing to leave.  That is when most parents have problems.  A child normally doesn’t ever want to stop what they is doing.

Every Sat. from 10-2, time to increase at 6 month intervals (10-4, 10-6).

I know this seems like a lot to some and not much to others.  The whole point of a phased in visitation schedule is so the child gets use to going with the other parent.  The other point of so many days was young children don’t have the longterm memories us adults do.  After 3 or 4 days a very young child won’t remember as well.  Then every six months the sat. hours went up.  10-4, then 10-6.  They stayed at 10-6 till he SLEF WEANS.  That was written in cap’s through out  the parenting plan.  His dad didn’t want every sat. as he has drill weekends and needed at least one weekend to himself.  So in the end we ended up with Tues and Thurs and every other Sat.

All it took was one email sent out and we were in agreement.  It started with one person being the bigger person.  One person saying “I’m sacred to death to talk to this person, but I have to think about the child involved not my feelings.”  It took the other person following the lead and saying yeah it is about the child.  You can’t use the excuse well I don’t know his number or how to get a hold of him.  If you got served your attorney can get his number, email address.  If you can’t put your feelings aside for the sake and well being of your child then you can’t say you want whats best for your child.  A child knowing and interacting with both of their parents is one of the best things for them.  I say lets grow-up, lets take back our parental rights and leave the courts out of making the life changing decisions for our children.  Put your excuses away!!!  So Keegan went to his dads house for a couple Tuesday’s, and Thursday’s and he just cried and screamed when I dropped him off so his father and I decided for the time being he would come to my house to see Keegan.  I can say that sitting in the same room with Keegan’s father kills me every time as I still love him, but we have a happy, healthy 18 month old son and his happiness is what matters to us.  We will make the sacrifices necessary to do what is best for him.

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding stories, child led weaning, Children and breastfeeding, dads, extended breastfeeding, Facebook, father, guest posts, Leakie to Leakie, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: , , ,

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

January 5, 2011 by

Remember that fairytale?  It even got a fairytale ending.  For a little bit anyway.

It felt like a victory, like one small step for women-kind when Facebook reinstated The Leaky B@@b page around 3 on Tuesday, January 4, 2011.  The whirl-wind of the previous 2 days seemed like it suddenly stopped.  There was virtual celebrating and our little fairytale community picked up right where it had left off plus a few thousand more members.  The wall on the page was hoping, after the celebrating calmed down posts asking about everything from how to deal with teething to is it ok if my baby wants to nurse all the time and is it ok to breastfeed past 12 months (it is, by the way) filled the page.  Leakies got back to the business of feeding their babies and supporting other Leakies.  Well wishers popped in congratulating us on getting our space back.  The energy was like a good party, a good party with good friends.  People that had never heard of TLB before joined and expressed how excited they were to know they were not alone.  Several others expressed how they wished they had something like TLB when they were breastfeeding and were so happy to see our community there for other moms now.

Personally, I was looking forward to a good night’s sleep.  You know that big sigh you heave when something intense, requiring hard word is over?  I couldn’t believe that after just a few short days I was already there, heaving that sigh and moving on.  For a moment my mind even wandered to other posts I had been planning before the page went down.  Everything was normal again.  I looked around at my neglected house and tackled a few areas.  I took Earth Baby to ballet, made dinner, spent some time on Facebook, read with my girls, made a batch of bread dough, did dishes, fed Smunchie, fiddled around on Twitter, fiddled around on the new web page, worked on an outline for another post, answered some emails, went back to Facebook.

And it was gone.  Not Facebook, The Leaky Boob.  I tried 3 times but I knew right away what was going on.  So I tried the Bring Back The Leaky Boob page.  Same result.  Both pages were gone.

Last time I cried.  This time I didn’t cry.  I closed my eyes and put my head back.

There was the same form letter email in my inbox, deleted for violating the terms of service.  Violators don’t get to come back.  I’ve heard that one before.

We’ll get the pages back.  It’s just not over yet.  But I already knew it wasn’t over.

It wasn’t enough to get The Leaky Boob page reinstated the first time because the problem is more than that one page being deleted. The Leaky Boob was reinstated and that was a very exciting and important piece of what we wanted. Still, Facebook needs to do something about the problem with deleting (erroneously or otherwise) breastfeeding pages and materials. Their system is not working and ignoring the problem positions all groups related to breast health including breastfeeding and breast cancer to experience the same treatment simply because any Facebook user can report or flag them for being obscene. Breast health is not obscene. Breasts are not obscene. Facebook needs to create some way for breast health pages, images (including personal breastfeeding photos), terminology and information to be exempt from automatic deletion when reported, or some other way to keep truly obscene content off the site without blocking legitimate pages.

The Leaky B@@b fan page is missed by thousands of “Leakies.”  We need it back.  Studies show that support is crucial to breastfeeding success and a support community is what this is all about.  But this isn’t just about breastfeeding support, it’s about breast health, normalizing breastfeeding, infant nutrition, women’s rights, the objectification of women, and so much more.  This is about public health.

One step forward, two steps back.  I’m ready to run a marathon.

Two new pages have sprung up on Facebook, one aimed to Bring Back The Leaky Boob- again and the other invinting you to Join TLB in Support of Women’s Health.  Like these pages on Facebook to get up to date information.  I shared here ways for you to help, working together a community can accomplish great change.

Filed Under: Article, body image, Boobs, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding help, breastfeeding stories, Facebook Tagged With: , , , ,

Breastfeeding- Good for Dads Too

December 9, 2010 by
This post was inspired by a number of great guys I know including my husband, several dad-friends, my own dad, and a few guys on The Leaky Boob Facebook page.  One in particular, a guy named Chad, once made a pretty awesome list as to why he thought guys everywhere should want their partners to breastfeed.  I wanted him to write a guest post but being a dad and full-time student, time wasn’t on his side.  So I took his list, added to it and chatted with a few of my guy friends to get this post.  It’s as close to a guy’s perspective as I can get!

Occasionally I’ll hear that someone’s husband or boyfriend didn’t want them to breastfeed.  The reasons vary but one thing I know for sure is how hard it is to breastfeed without support.  That’s not all though, I know there are some pretty darn good reasons a guy would want his girl to give lactating a try.  So guys, I don’t want to leave you out and neither does anyone else.

The real question is why wouldn’t you want your partner to breastfeed your children?

I’m not a man.  For me to write about this perspective is complete conjecture.  Except somehow I manage to talk about breastfeeding with everyone, even my single male friends find themselves inexplicably discussing breastfeeding, the benefits of breastfeeding, the over-sexualization and objectification of breasts and women and what is normal and weird.  It truly is amazing how often it comes up not to mention all the conversations I’ve had with The Piano Man on the subject.  I’ve heard a lot from single men, dating men, married men, married and expecting, married with kids, and married with grown kids.  After the post 8 Unexpected Benefits of Breastfeeding one of my single guy friends was completely fascinated about points 4 and 7 in particular.  I don’t know everything but I know a thing or two about several “selfish” reasons a guy would want the mother of their children to breastfeed.


Breastfeeding- Good For Dads Too- Why Guys DO Want The Mother of Their Children To Breastfeed

You are an important part of the equation
True, she may be the one with the goods but I promise you do matter.  Getting the baby ready to eat, setting her up in a comfortable spot with a glass of water, putting on her favorite music or starting a movie, rubbing her feet or shoulders while she’s nursing, helping with some house hold chore, making her a snack or even better a meal and in general keeping her company or gazing adoringly at her and your child will have her falling deeper in love with you by the second.  You’ll be a hero.  And this is good, you’ll like the outcome when she is deeper in love with you, trust me.

More money for your toys!
Formula is expensive, I mean really, REALLY expensive.  Obviously, breastfeeding is cheaper than buying formula unless you qualify for free formula through WIC but the cost of formula aside, statistically speaking studies show that breastfed babies tend to go to the doctor less.  On top of all those money saving advantageous there’s even the amazing healing properties of breastmilk itself.  Cuts, scrapes, rashes, eye infections and other ailments respond well to the application of breastmilk.  This means less money spent on co-pays and prescriptions or time missing work and more for that big screen TV and a pair of diamond earrings for her.

No weight lifting- lighter diaper bag!
Formula lightens your wallet and weighs down the diaper bag.  You won’t feel like you’re weight lifting every time you pick up the diaper bag if she’s breastfeeding.  If the diaper bag is heavy see if she’s sneaking bricks in there or something because all you usually need in the diaper bag of a breastfed baby is a couple of diapers, wipes, small blanket, change of clothes and maybe a toy.  No bottles to mix, no formula to lug around.

Late night store runs are limited to chocolate, beer and diapers
It’s incredibly rare for a woman to run out of breastmilk, like seriously, almost never.  If it does happen it means something is wrong.  The entire system is demand and supply: baby demands, boobs supply.  This means no panicky runs to the store late at night because someone forgot to pick up a new can of formula and starving your baby is not an option.  Nope, if you’re running to the store late at night it’s for something else.  Like chocolate.  Or beer.  Or diapers… unless you’re cloth diapering but I’ll save that for later.

It’s like a comedy routine
There are some pretty funny moments that come with breastfeeding.  Unexpected letdown, shirts with holes for nipples, strange bras, pumping experiences, spraying across the room and so much more.  You’re bound to find yourself laughing at some bizarre experience.  Just be sure you’re laughing with her, not at her or you might not get to enjoy some of those other benefits.  You’ll soon see what I mean.

Confidence is SEXY
Your girl is hot and sexy, right?  You tell her this and she glows but argues with you saying she’s not and that is so not sexy.  Unfortunately media, the fashion industry, and a variety of other culprits have chipped away at women’s confidence regarding their bodies.  Even though we know the standards of beauty and sexy are based on fake women, we are our own worst critics finding every flaw, real and imagined and are continually disappointed in our bodies.  Oddly enough, many women find that childbirth and breastfeeding actually boost their confidence.  To see what their bodies can do changes their perspective and gradually their imperfections become just a part of the package that grew and now nourishes their baby.  Your baby.  Giving them more confidence than ever before.  Confidence is sexy, even sexier than she would be in any item from Victoria Secret.  And if she doesn’t become more confident in her body through motherhood, let her know that you are confident in her body anyway.

Hell-O Boobies!
While I’m sure you love your partner’s breast just the way they are, most women experience a bit of a size increase with pregnancy and when their milk comes in.  It can be like Miracle Grow for Boobs.  Larger boobs, who can complain about that?  They also get a little more firm in their lactating state.  Plus, you’ll get to see them pretty much all the time since she’s going to be breastfeeding every 2-3 hours, specially in the early days.  And if she is in the mood, they can be a lot of fun to play with, like a whole new experience kind of fun.  It’s true that they may be a little different after breastfeeding, though you can’t blame any sagging on breastfeeding, that’s from pregnancy and genetics; but they are still boobs and hey, it keeps things interesting.

Here, let me help you with that
With all that growth and the new activity she’s going to need some lotion and maybe lanolin, surely you wouldn’t mind helping her rub some lotion all over those magic breasts, right?  And some women end up with serious engorgement and sometimes babies have trouble relieving it, rumor has it the milk tastes pretty good, like the milk left over after a bowl of cereal.  I’m willing to bet you could quickly figure out a good latch to help her find some relief and who knows, you might even enjoy “having” to help her out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I shared before in the 8 Unexpected Benefits of Breastfeeding that some women have their milk let down, leaking and spraying all over the place when they orgasm.  While I’m not always a fan of it myself, usually it’s not a problem at all.  Actually it’s like a standing ovation, a very wet standing ovation.  Just in case you weren’t sure before, consider your milk shower a neon flashing sign and an announcement that you were awesome.  You can towel off knowing you rocked her world.  Don’t let it rain on your parade, that’s for sure, just turn it into part of the fun.

Something new to try
If you’ve tried licking chocolate or whipped cream of your partner, why not expand to breastmilk?  And I’ve heard breastmilk makes a fantastic lubricant which is good because it’s not unusual for a woman to need a little help in that area after having a baby and during breastfeeding.

Hold the PMS please
Breastfeeding, specifically exclusive breastfeeding (nothing but breastmilk) helps keep a woman’s fertility from returning.  Some women do have it return sooner but many women experience a delay in their cycle for at least 6 months, more often closer to a year and sometimes more.  This is Mother Nature’s way of providing a spacing between pregnancy that is easier on a woman’s body.  Of course, there are other benefits here you can enjoy, no PMS, no “off” times of the month, and saving money on feminine hygiene products to name a few.  You could get an extended break from finding tampons on the shopping list saving you from the awkward aisle at the grocery store.

Won’t Need A Gas Mask for Diaper Changes!
It may seem hard to believe but there really are levels of poop and I love breastmilk poop.  Having done both breasfeeding and formula feeding myself plus changed countless diapers as a babysitter and of friends’ babies I can say with confidence that while poop is poop breastmilk poop isn’t nearly as shitty as formula poop.  It’s all about the proteins, there is more in breastmilk a baby’s body can use so less waste in their excrement.  Same thing with gas too, breastfed babies usually (there is always the exception to the rule) have less gas than formula fed babies and what they have usually isn’t quite as rank.

Sweet Baby Breath
Like poop it turns out there actually is a difference in types of spit up.  Pretty much all babies are going to spit up at some point, some a lot, some a little.  The good news is that breastmilk is easier to digest than formula which is great even for those babies with reflux issues.  Just like breastmilk smells more pleasant than formula, so does breastmilk spit up.  As an added bonus, the proteins in breastmilk spit up break down easier making for fewer stains.  Not that you’re going to like it or anything, I’m just saying it could be worse. And breastfed babies have super sweet breath, you’ll be sniffing your baby’s mouth it smells so good.

Healthy baby
Statistically breastfed babies get sick less often thanks to the customized specific immune boosters breastmilk produces.  There is always someone that will point out their formula fed baby was never sick but their friend’s breastfed baby was always sick but generally speaking, the statistics point to a lower risk of illness in breastfed babies compared to formula fed babies.  And healthy babies are happy babies!  Sick babies cry… a lot.

More Zzzzzzz’s for you
Yep, you’ll probably get more sleep if she’s breastfeeding than if you choose formula.  Even if you help get her set up to feed when the baby wakes, you get to go back to sleep.  And if you choose to co-sleep you may not even notice when she feeds the baby, dreaming blissfully and sleeping like… well, like a man whose partner is breastfeeding. By the way, I wouldn’t point this one out to your partner or you may find yourself keeping her company when she’s having trouble sleeping and staying up feeding the baby.

You won’t be a Schmuck
That’s right, I said it.  If none of these things ever happen for you and your partner in the breastfeeding journey she’s still going to need your support.  Supporting your partner in breastfeeding means you won’t be “that guy.”  The guy that put his wants, desires and supposed needs above those of his baby.  The guy that acts like he owns the mother of his children and her body.  The guy that can’t handle being a grown-up, is afraid of making personal sacrifices to be sure his offspring are well cared for.  No, guys that support their wives or girlfriends breastfeeding are instantly hot, seen as more sensitive and she is glad to have him.  Guys that support their partner breastfeeding are the kind of men that are mature enough to understand the complex nature of family life and they and their families will likely thrive together as a result.


With all this you may find yourself turning into a lactivist.  It’s ok, breastfeeding women think guy lactivists are sexy.  Not sure what a lactivist is?  Check out our list and see how you compare.  And I hope you have just as much fun discovering many more reasons why you would want your wife or girlfriend to breastfeed.  To read what my guy has to say on the topic, check out his post “Mammaries… I Mean Memories…”

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding stories, dads, family, father

How Breastfeeding Saved My Life

November 30, 2010 by
I’m excited to bring you another guest post, submitted by Star a WIC breastfeeding peer supporter and gentle breastfeeding advocate.  Star shares her story of the unexpected impact breastfeeding had on her own health and indeed her life.  I am honored to be bringing you this guest post and appreciate Star sharing her story.
I’ve addressed before how I’m sort of the reluctant lactivist who originally thought she wouldn’t breastfeed.  I talked a lot about how and why I changed my mind, and the struggles I faced to nurse my first.
But there was one crazily unexpected benefit that I didn’t discuss.
Rewind a few years to when I was 25, and pregnant with my first daughter.  I had a very high risk pregnancy.  Part of this was because I was classified morbidly obese.
If you just met me today, you probably wouldn’t think such a thing.  In fact, at 6 months postpartum with baby 2, and still carrying around an extra 10-15 pounds, I’m still within a very healthy weight range for my body frame/height.  In fact, people have been known to call me slim. 
But this was me then:
I was, at the end of my pregnancy with baby #1, slightly over 300 pounds.  Granted, I’m tallish for a woman – but not tallish enough that that much extra weight was even close to ok.  I’m also asthmatic, severely – so carrying that weight was a huge burden on my health in many ways.  I didn’t worry about it until I got pregnant.  And then one day, while looking at my chart, I saw the words “morbidly obese” notated there.
Those are NOT fun words to see on a chart describing yourself.  Like, at all.  Especially when you think of yourself as more like “attractively plump” or “large, but well-proportioned.”  But those two words are pretty effective at drying up denial quickly.
So I had my daughter – by c-section – something that I’ve always wondered if my weight had an impact on.  And then I thought about how I didn’t want to be the fat mom who couldn’t run around with her kids, or was the butt of their friend’s jokes, or anything like that.  And I certainly didn’t want to die young – which was a very real possibility with some family history and my obesity.  But I had literally no clue how to change things.  And I was having those aforementioned issues with breastfeeding and my daughter, which, quite frankly, made life too stressful to even attempt a lifestyle change.  So I put it off.
Then something pretty awesome started to happen.
Little by little, my jeans were looser.  My face was thinner.  I could button jeans that I’d only dreamed of buttoning in the past. 
“Well,” I thought, “I probably just lost a little more after the pregnancy.  No big deal.  It won’t continue.”
But it did.  And I bought new clothes and weaned off one of my asthma meds.  And I hadn’t done anything differently. 
It was 60 pounds later when I stopped just losing weight by existing.  Let me repeat that – SIXTY pounds.  Sixty.  Six Oh.
At a routine checkup, my doctor said, “So, what are you doing differently?”
“Nothing,” I told her.  “I think I have a tapeworm or something.  Can you check for tapeworms?”
She laughed at me and flipped through my chart.  “You’re breastfeeding?”
“Yeah.  Is that ok?  Because, seriously, I’m not completely joking about the tapeworm thing.  Can tapeworms go through breastmilk?”
She shook her head at me.  “Your weight loss is likely caused by breastfeeding.  I highly doubt that you have a tapeworm or anything else wrong with you.  I can run a blood count if you’re really concerned that you have something wrong with you, but I see this a lot with breastfeeding women.  The weight just kind of melts off.  That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make changes to become healthier overall.  But this is a good start.”
I took that to heart.  And, yes, I did eventually have to work out and eat better foods and all that jazz to get to a good place, weight wise.  But breastfeeding kick started it.  And that kick start gave me the confidence to continue it.
Star after breastfeeding her first baby
I’m sure some of you will scoff at the notion that breastfeeding saved my life.  However, I don’t think any doctor would argue that being morbidly obese sets you up for a whole slew of life-threatening ailments.  And when you add in all the *other* health benefits of breastfeeding too, well, it no longer seems like a stretch. Not to mention the 60 pounds it helped me to lose, it’s really probably not that far off from the truth.  Breastfeeding saved my life.
The author today, healthier, happier and breastfeeding her second baby.
A Note from Jessica

I love Star’s story, it is beautiful, inspiring and full of hope and I am so honored to share it here.  Breastfeeding educators have long shared how breastfeeding can help a woman lose weight and recently the New York WIC caused a stir with their breastfeeding campaign that focused on weight loss as one benefit of breastfeeding.  This isn’t a reason to breastfeed in and of itself but it is a potential positive benefit from breastfeeding and a dang good one at that.  At the same time it is important to note that not every woman will lose weight while breastfeeding and some, like myself, may even hold on to some extra padding until they wean.  Even if that is the case, breastfeeding still has so many other wonderful effects on mom and baby that it is worth continuing.  Be encouraged that either way you breastfeeding is wonderful for both you and your nursling!  To your health!
Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding benefits, breastfeeding health, breastfeeding stories, guest posts
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