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Breastfeeding isn’t history, it’s a current affair- Breastfeeding Week and Month 2019 Giveaway!

August 2, 2019 by theleakyb@@b Leave a Comment

It’s World Breastfeeding Week 2019 and somehow we’re still talking about breastfeeding in public like it is 1819.

Except in 1819 and even 1918, it wouldn’t have been an issue, nobody would think of harassing someone for feeding their baby. Have we gone backwards?

That’s why today we need this week for everyone who breastfeeds currently, ever has breastfed, wanted to breastfeed but couldn’t, never breastfed, and never will breastfeed.

It’s that time of year when breastfeeding awareness increases worldwide. Celebrating the highs, the lows, World Breastfeeding Week and National Breastfeeding month educates and connects others with the journey. The struggles, the benefits, the cultural influences, the challenges, and more, are a part of the conversation surrounding breastfeeding – all with the desire to normalize breastfeeding (again) through information and community support.

Basically what The Leaky Boob community does, and has been doing for 9 years now, every single day.

Because we’re not going backwards.

For TLB, every week is Breastfeeding Week, every month is Breastfeeding Month. The rest of the world says that the month of August has a special focus on breastfeeding? Well sign TLB up! We’ve got a lot to say. We’ll be talking about what I wish I had known about breastfeeding a newborn, what’s normal with breastfeeding and when to ask for help, what we wish we had known about pumping, getting more milk with your pump, breastfeeding in public, common breastfeeding challenges, supplementing, and weaning.

This year, a number of brands are coming alongside The Leaky Boob to help celebrate National Breastfeeding Month. They want you to know that they, too, believe in the importance of a national, no, a worldwide, conversation about infant feeding, and they want to support you as you figure out what’s best for your baby. Support without judgment. Products designed for you. These are amazing brands.

A number of them are sponsoring livestreams on TLB Facebook this month, so be on the lookout for them. And they are all participating in a group giveaway. So far, we’re looking at 8 winners, but we expect that number to grow as we go along.

For now, here they are, and find your way to enter the giveaway at the end of this post:

A huge thanks to Latched Mama, Kindred Bravely, JuJuBe, Belli Skin Care, Bundle Organics, Fairhaven Health, LactaMed, Ardo, Littlebeam, Glamourmom, and Motherlove, for their visible support of new moms.

Latched Mama
Mom Life Tote Bag is the best mom tote you can find on the market. 3 in 1 large tote just like your favorite weekender. Retail Value: $100

Shop at latchedmama.com and receive free product based on your spending amount, like Nursing Romper or Dress, a Tote Bag, and a silicone teething bracelet. More details here!

Kindred Bravely
The Sublime Hands Free Pumping and Nursing Bra, this all-in-one must-have piece for any postpartum mama combines the best features of your favorite nursing and hands-free pumping bras. AND the Kindred Bravely Simply Sublime Nursing Tank: ultra-soft and stretchy for a smooth silhouette of comfort for nursing women. Retail value: $95 together

Use code LEAKYBOOB at kindredbravely.com for 20% off your purchase

JuJuBe
The stylish Be Supplied breast pump tote with the Be Equipped organizing set. Retail Value: $185

Use code TLB20 for 20% your purchases at jujube.com. Time to shop!

Belli Skin Care
Their entire line of pregnancy-safe skin care solutions. By sourcing high quality plant based ingredients that allow your body to process their products organically, Belli Skin Care is free of not only harmful chemicals, but artificial dyes, synthetic fragrances, parabens, gluten, phthalates, and preservatives too. Retail Value: $279

Bundle Organics
Healthy snacks, drink mixes, heartburn and nausea teas, all formulated for the pregnant parent. Certified organic and non-GMO, these snacks and beverages were made with functional, flavorful ingredients, and one woman in mind: you. Retail value: depends on the special bundle they prepare for you!

Use code 10MILKBOOST for 10% off your Bundle Organics purchase on Amazon!

Fairhaven Health
Milkies Milk-Saver: to collect your leaking breast milk as you nurse
Milk Tray: to freeze breast milk in convenient 1-ounce sticks that fit in any bottle
Nursing Blend: all-natural daily multivitamin with breast milk stimulants fenugreek and fennel
Nursing Time Tea: with organic herbs to increase and improve overall breast milk supply
Nipple Balm: safe for mom and baby, to soothe, protect, and heal sore or cracked nipples
Softies Nursing Pads: designed by nursing moms for nursing moms, to stay dry and comfortable
Retail Value: $112

LactaMed
The Simplicity Hands-Free Pumping Bra Kit, and the LactaMom Pumping, Nursing & Maternity Tank. Hands-free pumping made simple. Retail Value: $53

Use code WBM2019 for 20% off their entire site.

Ardo
The Calypso-To-Go is a Swiss-made, closed system breast pump that features: 64 settings, 3 power options (battery, AC adapter, car adapter), less than a pound, piston pump (gentler than membrane pump), 250mmHg (same as most pumps), insurance covered. It goes where you go! Retail Value: $300

Littlebeam
This breastfeeding pillow is pediatrician approved as the best uniquely supportive pillow for comfort, ease, and portability while breastfeeding. Designed by a Lactation Consultant. Retail Value: $40

Glamourmom
Winner’s choice of any Glamourmom Nursing Bra Tank or Top. Full structured nursing bras built into tanks and tops, with a variety of options to accommodate every body type. Retail Value: $59

Enjoy 15% off your purchase at glamourmom.com with code BAM15

Motherlove
Malunggay (moringa) 120 count supplement to boost milk supply in potent liquid capsule, and Nipple Cream to help ease sore nursing nipples – a great pump lubricant as well! Retail Value: $55

Use code LEAKYBOOB25 for 25% off on Motherlove.com

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Filed Under: Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, Breastfeeding in public, Featured, motherhood, Photos, World Breastfeeding Week Tagged With: Baby, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding support, IBCLC, lactation, National Breastfeeding Month, Parenting, world breastfeeding week, World Breastfeeding Week 2019

Facebook Removes Breastfeeding Photos and Disables Mom’s Account Ignoring Their Own Policies- Again.

May 11, 2015 by theleakyb@@b 3 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

Photo Credit: Stephanie Shirley Abby shared this photo on Facebook previously with no issue.

Between 3 and 4pm on Saturday, May 9th, 2015, the day before celebrating her very first Mother’s Day as a mom, Bump 2 Baby Birth Photography owner, Abby Camarata, discovered that her access to the virtual global town hall that is Facebook was unavailable. More specifically, that her account had been disabled. The new mom of 4 week old Rocco was cut off from much of her community and from her business and she had no idea why. When she attempted to log in she received a message from Facebook that her account was disabled and if she had questions she could visit Facebook’s help center. That was it.

It hasn’t been long since Facebook received praise for finally amending their guidelines for image posting to include supporting breastfeeding photos. Just this past March news outlets, bloggers, and advocates celebrated when the guidelines were further clarified after several years of back and forth drama between Facebook, users, and the media when breastfeeding photos would be removed. There was a collective sigh that maybe this dysfunctional censoring of motherhood and the women that share it was finally over with the social media giant.

Apparently not. And this isn’t the first time they’ve violated their own policies about breastfeeding photos.

Abby and I chatted initially when her account was still disabled. Her personal profile was reinstated by 9.05 pm that evening but her business page is still gone. She still doesn’t know why. What she suspects? Somebody complained about the breastfeeding photos on both her personal profile and on her business page. This first time mom shared her thoughts on why this matters not only for her personally but for many parents in today’s society.

TLB: Abby, I’m so sorry your personal profile was disabled by Facebook. I know you’ve used your Facebook to connect with friends and family as well as for your business. Up until your account was disabled, how has FB been important to you both in the past and now more recently? How will not having it impact you?

Abby: Facebook has always been an outlet for keeping in touch with friends and family but more recently, it’s been nothing short of a lifeline. Especially since the birth of my first baby, Rocco, four weeks ago. Life can easily become isolating at this stage, Facebook as been a consistent connecting point for me through this transition. From the moment we announced our little love coming earthside, a meal train was set up in my tribe and quickly a whole month worth of dinners were signed up for. I joined a Homebirth Cesarean Facebook group that has been a shoulder for me to cry on and a safe place for me to vent. The Leaky Boob Community group has been a lifesaver. I love how this is a group of nursing moms so when I woke up at 3am and my boob felt like it got ran over by a truck, I had several responses of support and encouragement with suggested remedies within minutes!

Not having Facebook kept me from my tribe and my resources. Both of which are part of my every day-to-day life. It may not have been for long, this time, but I don’t know if it will happen again and the connections and relationships I have there mean a lot to me, particularly during this difficult postpartum stage. My business is impacted as well. I cant correspond with clients, share new work, or follow up on leads and referrals.

Facebook account disabled after posting breastfeeding photos.

The message Abby received when she attempted to login.

TLB: How did you discover your account was disabled? Has Facebook given you a reason for disabling your account or indicated that it is a determined length of time for this ban? When did they contact you?

Abby: I discovered the disabling of my account only after several friends messaged me about my account being inactive. My account was still active after the initial flagged photo for nudity so I’m not sure why it was actually deactivated later. I was never given a length of time for the ban. I was never contacted about ANY of the ordeal. When my account was reactivated, it stated that my image was reported for nudity, and that the photos were removed for “violating Facebook’s Community Standards” even though the images remain on my page, and the link to the community standards was broken and I was unable to read them.

TLB: Birth and breastfeeding are big aspects of your work as a photographer, now as a mother yourself, what do you see is the significance of capturing and sharing these moments through photography? How has it been significant for you personally?

Abby: Given the rough journey I’ve experienced so far with breastfeeding, and the utter bliss and healing it brings me, I have a renewed appreciation and love for breastfeeding photography. We are given such a short time to have this special bonding time with our children. Some moms are blessed with more time than others.

Personally, not knowing how long my body will keep producing milk with my hormone issues, I savor every second I can nurse my son. I hope others are encouraged by the images I share as I’ve been encouraged by the breastfeeding images others have shared. I’ve learned a lot too.

Breastfeeding selfie Abby shared on Facebook on May 9, 2015.

The notice Abby received that her photo was reported by someone on her friend list.

Breastfeeding photo removed by Facebook May 2015.

The notice Abby received that her photo was determined to violate FB standards.

TLB: You had a breastfeeding photo reported just before your account was disabled, why had you shared that photo in particular? Have you had breastfeeding photos reported in the past? Was the photo removed by FB or was the last that you knew, they reviewing the report?

Abby: I take photos almost every time I nurse my son. The awe and love for breastfeeding hasn’t worn off. Again, with my breastfeeding issues, and not knowing how long I will be able to nurse him, EVERY DAY is a victory. Every latch is a reason to celebrate. Every suckle is a savored moment. A moment I want to hold onto. To remember. To document. To share! This new thing, breastfeeding, is totally rad and I want to share my journey and the love I have for it. I want to normalize it!

The very first photo I shared of Rocco, announcing his arrival, was a photo of him breastfeeding. The two week herbal bath family photos that were taken, I shared a breastfeeding photo. I shared a photo of Rocco latched as we enjoyed the shade at the park. I shared the breastfeeding photos from our three week family photo shoot. All were celebrated by friends and family and not one of them were reported to my knowledge.

Shortly after I posted my photo, it was reported. I was taken aback because out of all the nursing photos I have shared, this was the most modest! Rocco was covering his mouth with his hands. I posted a screenshot of my reported image, and then got off Facebook to tend to my son. Before I know it, I received texts from three different friends asking if I had disabled my account. I was blocked out of Facebook. My account was disabled, without warning. I waited and waited for an explanation from Facebook via email and I received nothing.

TLB: Are you familiar with Facebook’s policy on breastfeeding photos and do you believe your photos were in keeping with those policies?

Abby: I have never read the actual policies, but the last update I read from a friend, is that as long as the baby was actively nursing, any breast or nipple showing was not in violation of any policies.

Photo Credit: Stephanie Shirley Abby had previously shared this photo on Facebook with no incident.

Photo Credit: Stephanie Shirley. Abby feeding Rocco. Abby previously shared this photo on Facebook with no incident.

TLB: You shared that your breastfeeding journey has been difficult and very important to you, how does it feel in light of that to not only having someone on your friend list report your image but then to have FB actually disable your account?

Abby: It was SO disheartening, on so many levels. It’s overwhelming. What was frustrating right off is that I was provided no explanation from Facebook. It hurts that a “friend” reported my image because the image for me is the same as someone else posting a selfie at a finish line of a race. It’s a triumph. Something I’m working hard for. Something I’m proud of. It’s frustrating not only that a breastfeeding photo was reported, but it was THAT photo, which showed absolutely no nipple. I thought it was modest.

TLB: What did you do when you discovered the report of your breastfeeding photo?

Abby: I shared a screenshot of the flagged version of the photo in hopes to get feedback. Was this image offensive? HOW was this image offensive? I asked the “offended” to message me with an explanation. (I was genuinely curious.) I also asked them to remove themselves from my friends list. And that wasn’t to be malicious, it was because I don’t plan on stopping the share of nursing photos. Breastfeeding, by anyone, should be celebrated.

TLB: Your account is reinstated, will you be doing anything differently in terms of your behavior on FB?

Abby: I did have an impulse to keep my account deactivated and just start a new one with a few close friends and family. I was just so hurt that someone would be so offended by something that’s so innocent and special to me. But, refuse to stop sharing my nursing photos. If it’s a special moment, and I feel beautiful in it, you bet I’m going to share it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding my son exactly as nature intended it. I need to contribute to this societal stigma around breastfeeding. It needs to change.

TLB: If you knew who it was that reported your photo, what would you say to them?

Abby: It depends on who it was and why they reported it. I have more than 100 things I would like to say to them. I really wish they would message me and open a discussion about their concerns than rather “report and run away.” It seems very childish to me. They don’t have to follow my profile nor even be friends with me on Facebook.

TLB: Lastly, is there anything you would like people to know coming through this experience?

Abby: I could tell you to stop sharing nursing photos. I could tell you to choose your Facebook “friends” wisely. To change the privacy settings on your nursing photos. But that wouldn’t change a thing. That’s not going to break down the breastfeeding stigma rampant in our American society. Keep sharing your beautiful images. Together, we can make waves. We can normalize breastfeeding for our future generations. For our children. Nurse on mamas.

Abby and Rocco

At The Leaky Boob we believe everybody’s story matters and we should have the freedom to share it without censoring from outside sources, particularly in places where we find our community. Sharing our stories not only connects us but strengthens us all. #MyStoryMatters #YourStoryMatters and we hope you continue to share it wherever you are comfortable doing so. Share your story and offer #TLBsupportForward.

Want to share your story? Let us know in the comments.

Filed Under: #MyStoryMatters, #TLBSupportForward, Article, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding support, Facebook, Featured, Jessica, Photos Tagged With: Breastfeeding photos and Facebook, Breastfeeding support, Bump 2 Baby Birth Photography, Facebook censors breastfeeding, Facebook removes breastfeeding photos, mothers fight Facebook

The Romanticized Myth of What Constitutes Successful Breastfeeding- An Apology

October 15, 2014 by theleakyb@@b 77 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

Dear Leakies,

This is my 5th version of this letter. I’m going to finish this one.

But first I’m going to do something I’ve never done here before:

That’s a picture of Sugarbaby receiving a bottle. A bottle of my milk. Taken 2 years ago by my wonderful husband, I love this photo. So much love and pride captured in this moment. A vital moment in me reaching and achieving my breastfeeding goals. And that bottle wasn’t even kind of a “booby trap” to my breastfeeding goals.

Still, I never shared it with any of you here, on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

Why haven’t I shared this or images like it with The Leaky Boob community before now? Why is this my 5th attempt at this letter? It’s simple:

Shame.

Yep. I have harbored shame. Not shame that my babies have received bottles, no, I have absolutely no shame that I’ve fed my children as I needed to. No, my shame came from using a bottle made by a WHO Code violating company. (To learn about what the International Code of marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes is, go here.) Only, that’s not really the shame I’m holding either, do you know how hard it is to find a bottle that’s not made by a WHO code violator? Nearly impossible.

No, my shame goes way beyond even the WHO Code, bottle feeding, or supporting a WHO Code violator.

My shame is that I haven’t cared about the WHO Code for 3 years, but felt I had to in order to be a “good” breastfeeding supporter.

My shame is that I played along, even became a part of the self-appointed WHO Code policing brigade for a time, even though I knew all along, deep down in my heart, that the almighty WHO Code was creating barriers.

My shame is that I felt righteous supporting the WHO Code. The original purpose of the WHO Code was so pure, so right, so good, how could I not support it?

My shame is that I upheld an artificial picture of what it looked like to successfully breastfeed and called it supporting the WHO Code.

My shame is that my actions supported the WHO Code more than they supported women, babies, and families.

But my shame is not that my babies were fed, not that they were loved, not that they sucked on an artificial teat.

Look at that big sister love and pride!

Screw shame. I’m done. And I’m sorry. I’m deeply sorry that it has taken 3 years for me to find my courage to take the stand I live but never shared here. I’m sorry that I’ve not been honest.

Because this is what successful breastfeeding has looked like for me:

And so is this:

For every single one of my 6 beautiful children, bottles and breast have been a part of me reaching my goals. And not just because I had to go back to work. I choose to go back to work, I love working and am a better parent when I work, but even when I didn’t work outside the home, I elected to partially bottle feed my milk to my baby. This was a positive thing for me as I get physically stimulated very easily and as an introvert found the need to create some space for myself. I did better mentally and emotionally, which meant I was in a healthier place mentally and emotionally to parent my children. It was the best healthy choice for us. I have never, not once, regretted it. Today, with a breastfeeding 2.5 year old, I also don’t believe it ever interfered with our breastfeeding nor did bottles have a negative impact on me reaching my breastfeeding goals.

In fact, I firmly believe that without bottles, I would have quit breastfeeding early on.

And see the big child in this photo bottle-feeding her baby sister my milk?

Do you see that eye contact? *melt*

She was mostly formula fed.

I don’t have any shame about that either. In fact, I’m damn proud that when the time came I could make the right decision for us to stop breastfeeding and switch to formula. The regret I have felt about that has been artificial and circumstantial, never true. It took a lot of courage for me to make that decision and it was the right one. I would make it again if I had to. I will support you if it’s the decision you need to make as well. We’ve been vocal here that breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing to be successful, I just haven’t been visible with that reality for myself.

Through The Leaky Boob I have contributed to a beautiful yet often unattainable depiction of what it looks like to breastfeed. In my attempt to normalize breastfeeding and provide support up what breastfeeding looks like, I have held up at the breast breastfeeding as being more beautiful, more important, more viable, more worthy of sharing and discussing and promoting than any other infant feeding methodology.

I support people before I support a feeding method.

Sugarbaby’s big sisters loved to give her a bottle

I look at these photos of my baby receiving bottles and I see a beautiful, important, viable feeding worthy of sharing and discussing and promoting. Normalizing breastfeeding (bottle-feeders will tell me they feel that is normalized) and normalizing bottle-feeding(breastfeeders will tell me they fell that is normalized) shouldn’t be in competition with each other. What really seems to need to be normalized is caring for children. Parenting. Without it being a contest or a platform to boost how we feel about ourselves.

Feeding your child is real, no matter what they are fed or the mode of delivery. It’s real, it’s important, it’s complicated, and parents deserve support as they navigate this terrain. I am sorry that The Leaky Boob has, at times, failed to communicate that. I a sorry if instead of being a part of building your confidence, I’ve been a part of tearing it down. Deeply sorry.

I know there are those who will tell me I haven’t failed and I appreciate that.

I also know there will be those that will tell me that I haven’t failed until now. I appreciate that too.

But for the last 4 years as The Leaky Boob I have not been entirely honest with you. As a public voice in breastfeeding support, I have contributed to a mythical image of breastfeeding. I wish I could say it wasn’t intentional but it was and of the 4 years I’ve been doing The Leaky Boob, I have wrestled with this for three years. Motivated by fear, I allowed myself to present a picture of my breastfeeding journey and an idealized image of “successful” breastfeeding that simply wasn’t true. Well, not true for me anyway and likely not true for many of you. And I know holding that ideal up was damaging for some and a sort of betrayal for others. It wasn’t that I overtly lied, it was more of an omission of truth. I was wrong to do so and I am sorry.

A few weeks ago I was sitting with a friend of ours, a new dad who was bragging about how his wife and son had worked so hard at breastfeeding and just the day before, at close to 8 weeks old, had fed directly from the breast for all of the feeds. He said something that struck me: “you know, I think they’ve been breastfeeding, we’ve worked so hard but it’s not like you ever see pictures of breastfed babies getting bottles. Our lactation consultants were great but it’s a lot of work, a lot of time, a LOT of money, you know? The work you do is so important, we were on The Leaky Boob all the time and we have found a lot of help and support there but we still felt alone. I mean, it feels like it’s not as real if we’re giving a bottle, nobody ever talks about that. Does anyone else go through this?”

I was confronted with the reality of my failure on my couch.

Babies feeding babies here. So much big sister love!

Leakies I am sorry I never shared images of my babies and other babies receiving bottles. I was wrong to only ever present a side of my infant feeding journey that was safe for me as a public breastfeeding supporter. Anxious that I would be inviting drama and attacks from other breastfeeding supporters, educators, blogs, organizations, and my own readers, I didn’t want to risk being accused of being a WHO Code violator by posting pictures of my babies with their bottles. Specially since I do make some income from The Leaky Boob, I was concerned that if I ever even showed bottle feeding some would think it was sending the wrong message.

But message or not, this is the truth: my babies, all 6 of them, got bottles. One got mostly formula in her bottles. Back when I was attending women as they had their babies, often I was helping a new mother and baby pair with their first few feedings while my baby was at home getting a bottle of my milk. And every single bottle my babies have received was manufactured by a WHO Code violating company. I’ve never once regretted that, never once felt guilty for it, never once wished it was another way. But I did feel afraid to show it.

My incredible husband, Jeremy, The Piano Man, has never had a problem sharing these images though and not because he doesn’t understand the WHO Code or is unaware of the barriers women face when it comes to breastfeeding. When he came home one day with a new bottle and I stressed about having a WHO Code violating bottle in our house, that it couldn’t be posted anywhere online, and that I felt sick giving money to a Code violating company, he simply looked at me and calmly said “I thought this was about feeding our daughter.” I sterilized that bottle and moved on, knowing I wouldn’t post any photos of the offending bottle. But he did. And the very first comment on the photo was this:

I understand where the commenter was coming from and she wasn’t giving anyone a hard time but it’s true, because of the half truth I had shared, it was strange to see one of my baby’s drinking from a bottle. But it wasn’t strange that she was receiving one, it was actually a part of our normal infant feeding routine.

Bottles were an important part of me reaching my breastfeeding goals. Without bottles, I’m not sure I would have made it as far as I have and I’m pretty certain I would never have even started The Leaky Boob. I have talked about using bottles and formula feeding my second daughter, but I never shared images and I carefully couched sharing those experiences as safely as I could so as not to invite controversy.

I have let go of my shame and my fear.

By intentionally keeping that part of my breastfeeding journey quiet, by not sharing images of my baby receiving a bottle, by just sharing images of my babies feeding only at my breasts, and by neglecting the real life bottled-up aspects of the breastfeeding journeys of others, I perpetuated a romanticized myth of what constitutes successful breastfeeding.

I am sorry. Please forgive me.

With all my love, sincerely,

~Jessica

Do you use bottles? How do you feel about using bottles? Do you share pictures on social media of your baby receiving bottles? Need help bottle-feeding your breastfed baby? Check out this article, Facebook page, and this book.

Filed Under: Article, Bottle Feeding, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding support, family, Featured, Jessica, Letters from The Leaky Boob, motherhood, Parenting, Photos Tagged With: baby feeding, bottle feeding, bottle feeding selfies, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding selfies, International Code of marketing of BreastmIlk Substitutes, social media, The Leaky Boob, WHO Code, WHO Code of ethics

Why take and share breastfeeding photos?

June 4, 2014 by theleakyb@@b 6 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

Photo credit: Cleo Photography

What is the deal with all those breastfeeding photos moms are doing? Breastfeeding selfies, professional photo sessions, family snapshots, they’re showing up on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, even birth announcements and Christmas cards, and hanging on walls. This hasn’t always been a thing, has it? (Check out these and these historic photos that show it isn’t quite as new as you may think.) When TLB was kicked off Facebook in 2011, allegedly for posting breastfeeding photos, I was asked frequently why post breastfeeding photos in the first place. What is the point, they wondered, why do women feel the need to share such an intimate moment with the world? I have been patiently explaining this phenomenon for years, sharing blog posts like this one from Annie at PhD in Parenting, this one from sons & daughters photography, and personal stories as to why and content to leave it at that.

Still, comments on websites, social media threads, and some times in person continue to come in comparing these photos to sharing an image of someone taking a dump, calling the women posting them “attention whores”, and sometimes even accusing them of sexual abuse. The reasons why these people may be uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding totally aside (and here are 9 potential reasons), it’s obvious they don’t understand why this would be important.

Over the years I’ve seen the power of breastfeeding photos being shared. Much like images of other aspects of every day life, seeing breastfeeding photos reminds us of the importance of the mundane in our daily lives. There are more reasons than I can list, but there are real reasons none the less.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in offering support. Many women haven’t seen breastfeeding or have only seen it briefly. Seeing breastfeeding and hearing the breastfeeding stories of other women supports women where they are in their journey and gives them the space to ask questions and know they aren’t alone.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in offering information and options. For some women, breastfeeding is as natural as breathing, everything just works. Others encounter difficulties. Seeing how another woman navigates the obstacles she experiences in breastfeeding, such as when Jenna shared an image of feeding her daughter with a supplemental nursing system, mothers who had never heard of such a thing suddenly had a new option.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in offering community. Because breastfeeding has been replaced in some cases with alternative feeding methods, some breastfeeding mothers find themselves feeling isolated. Thanks to the global community now accessible via the internet, mothers can connect with others that can relate to their journey. While many are willing to walk alone, it is comforting to know you don’t have to. Sharing the visual builds a community built on more than words.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in offering encouragement. When Serena Tremblay shared her photo of breastfeeding in the ICU with the help of a nurse, she never imagined how it would touch and reach so many with encouragement and inspiration. But that’s exactly what her photo did.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in offering recognition. It’s not for attention, the sharing is more about connection and celebration. But when a woman shares her breastfeeding journey through images, she is recognizing (and helping others recognize for themselves) this very important aspect of her life. She does it day in and day out, it consumes much of her time, and sometimes it can feel quite invisible. Or worse, shameful. Recognizing the time and commitment breastfeeding requires can be a reminder of why it’s all worth it.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in offering normalization. More times than I can count people have written in to say that before they joined The Leaky Boob community they thought breastfeeding was gross and creepy. They didn’t want to see it because they thought it was like watching sex. But then they saw it and learned that it wasn’t that at all, in fact, it was oddly normal. Then there are the mothers that discovered they weren’t freaks for continuing to breastfeed past the first 12 months when they discovered there are many others like them.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in rehumanizing. I know, I know, that’s not really a word. But the objectification of women has reached such high levels that unless a woman is airbrushed, painted, surgically altered, pushed up/in, and posed, she isn’t seen as being a woman. A woman’s worth is almost entirely wrapped up in her looks. Women are barely seen as human or at least, aren’t allowed to be human. Images of woman that aren’t airbrushed, painted, surgically altered, pushed up/in, and posed remind all of us what living, breathing, human woman really look like. Breastfeeding women remind us that a woman’s body is for her to use as she pleases and her worth not dictated by how sexually attractive she is.

Sharing breastfeeding images is important in celebrating. Parenting is hard work and much of it goes unnoticed and under appreciated. Celebrating the milestones and goals reached, be they breastfeeding, potty learning, educational, or any other important aspect of parenting, is energizing. Celebrating them with others even more so.

Leilani and her daughter Ava featured in the photo at the top of this post, understands this, which is why Leilani sent this beautiful photo in with her story:

I made the decision to try breastfeeding while I was still pregnant. I read Ina May’s guide to breastfeeding (religiously), and it gave me the confidence I needed during that very first time Ava latched on. Knowing that I was capable of producing the best nutrition for my child is what inspired me to nurse. There were a handful of bumps in the road during this past year of breastfeeding, but I’m proud to say, we surpassed them. My daughter had jaundice (pretty bad) her first week of life. Due to an incompatible blood type between her and I, the doctors encouraged me to supplement, in order for her jaundice to go away faster. I refused, and as scary as it was, the jaundice went away, and she didn’t need one drop of supplement to assist. I also thought I needed a pump and bottles to nurse more effectively. Turns out that the pump caused my supply to dwindle, and I forced to deal with a baby that wasn’t getting the correct amount of milk she needed. Rather than giving up or supplementing, I was patient and nursed her as often as she’d allow. My supply finally was back to normal. Between those hurdles and moving cross-country TWICE in two months (military family), I am proud to say that Ava at (almost) thirteen months is still nursing and the bond we share is something even more special than I imagined.

Filed Under: Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding stories, breastfeeding support, Facebook, Featured, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting, Photos Tagged With: Breastfeeding, breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding photos, breastfeeding selfies, Breastfeeding support, Community, Facebook, motherhood, mothering, natural duration breastfeeding, Parenting, The Leaky B@@b, The Leaky Boob

Sleep dreams

January 29, 2014 by theleakyb@@b Leave a Comment

This post made possible by the generous support of Arm’s Reach Concepts.

by Jessica Martin-Weber

To sleep or not to sleep, the question babies and little children everywhere wrestle with on a regular basis and parents pray will be answered with “to sleep.” Sleep like a baby sometimes sounds like an oxymoron when it seems like your baby won’t sleep. But sometimes it isn’t to sleep or not to sleep but rather, where to sleep. The Leakies joined me in sharing pictures of where and how they have found their little ones sleeping. Two of the funniest threads we’ve had on The Leaky Boob Facebook page were the result and an image collection of baby and little kid sleeping gold. We couldn’t fit even all of our favorites here so be sure to head over to beyondmoi.com for more totally adorable and hilarious moments of sleep with little ones. It could be one of the few times you will find yourself laughing about sleep as a parent.

Whatever you do, don’t lay down! The couch is there for support, I’m just resting my eyes mid bounce…

I was going to go run but then this happened…

I’m not sleepy, my head just got heavy…

It wasn’t that I was sleepy, it’s that the entertainment was boring…

Wait, what just happened, I was in the middle of something important…

It is important to keep your best friend company…

Just getting into character…

This wasn’t exactly my plan…

Don’t worry, I’m on top of things…

And under things…

sleeping under dog bed mom checked to be sure she could breathe

Look closely… find the toes…

And in things…

And out…

It’s always better with someone else…

And if you think I’m cute when I’m sleeping, you should see when I wake up!

This guy was too cute on the Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Instagram feed.

Filed Under: Article, Facebook, family, Featured, fun, humor, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting, Photos, sleep through the night Tagged With: awkward sleep positions with kids, baby sleep, Batgirl, little kid sleep, Parenting, Sleep, the leaky boob Facebook, toddler sleep

Instagram and the global village of breastfeeding

June 21, 2013 by theleakyb@@b 6 Comments

It is said that it takes a village to bring up a child. Do you have a village?

Once upon a time community was found while foraging, working, washing, around the well, in the birthing room, through places of worship, then in salons, on front porches, over quilts, around suffrage signs. Most never moved too far from the place where they were born. Children grew up aware of the work their parents did, helping at times, involved. With the exception of Victorian era stodginess, much about the reality of life was shared openly, families just lived and extended family and friends involved.

Today the global village has expanded where we find community. No longer are the borders of our village confined to our geographical context, we find our place through social media with our past, present, and future, via our interests, concerns, and passions. We learn about life in our context and far beyond, broadening our perspective and opening our minds to other ways of living. By sharing the exiting, the mundane, the average, and the significant parts of life, people are finding their village again. In a time when it is easy to be isolated and alone, the internet is drawing people together.

All this and more is what I love about social media. I found my village.

On June 8th, as I headed out for a date with my husband, Jeremy Beyond Moi, I quickly checked The Leaky Boob Instagram account but was already logged into my personal account which I checked first. I noticed a comment on one of my photos asking what happened to The Leaky Boob account on Instagram. Unsure what she meant a knowing feeling came over me and I entered the login information for the account and received this screen.

Hoping it was a mistake but suspecting it wasn’t I tried again. Then checked my email and saw no email from Instagram so I tried again. After 4 tries I gave up. The account was indeed disabled. This part of my village was gone.

I’ve checked every few days since. Gone.

I wasn’t sure I had the energy for this. It’s not the first time The Leaky Boob has had issues on a social media platform and the fight was starting to feel wearisome. With our eldest daughter preparing to leave for the summer, 5 other kids at home, and work, I was feeling swamped as it was without this issue. But this is part of my community and not just mine but thousands of others as well.

We want our village back.

On May 23rd I received a warning from Instagram that The Leaky Boob account had been flagged but with no details as to why. It was the third warning I received within a week. All that was included was that I supposedly violated the terms of service, terms that are conveniently vague at best, intentionally nebulous for subjective interpretation at worst. I emailed requesting they let me know what images I posted violated what terms of service and received no reply.

Shortly after this, inspired by Instagram’s own weekend hashtag projects and user Instagram_kids, I started a new hashtag on Instagram, #beautifulbfing to encourage more sharing of breastfeeding photos and informed users. Posting about it I asked users to use the hashtag and I would select from those images ones to feature, or regram, just as thousands of other users and brands, including Instagram’s own account, do. With each post, I credited the user that posted it and only used images from the #beautifulbfing hashtag. The #regram is the only way to share other posts and functions much like the Twitter retweet, the only current option Instagram has to compete. Every image I shared was of a breastfeeding mother and was within Instagram’s terms of service regarding nudity. While I had forgotten the terms of service to not post images that weren’t yours, I didn’t feel this was a problem as I had permission to use those photos and had modeled this sharing of these images after Instagram’s own usage.

There were no further warnings between the May 23rd email and the account being disabled on June 8th as well as no response to my inquires about the warnings I had received. I received no warnings after I began sharing the images from the #beautifulbfing hashtag either. Nothing, just the account disabled. On June 9th there was another form email that someone had flagged my account and if the terms of service were violated the account could be disabled but no details as to why or how to contact Instagram to dispute. My account was already gone.

Many don’t understand why images of breastfeeding are shared online, I go into that in my post about my struggle with Facebook over the same issue and you can read that here. And to go ahead and address the inevitable boorish “peeing and taking a dump are natural but nobody wants to see pictures of that” read this and remember, we’re not talking waste, we’re talking nutrition for a baby, something mothers spend a significant amount of time doing and it’s a part of her life… her life that she shares with her community. Don’t understand? Simply put though, moms need to see breastfeeding, it’s important. Others need to see breastfeeding to put a stop to the dehumanization of women through the over emphasis on the sexual nature of the female body. Sharing these images is important because we need to culturally encourage moms to breastfeed and go beyond just lip service and accept them fully in society without penalizing them by requiring them to hide feeding their children. Society needs to walk the talk. What I said about why share breastfeeding images on Facebook applies to Facebook owned Instagram as well:

Why share breastfeeding photos on FB? Some may feel it’s too private to share, I don’t. In fact, I believe it’s crucial to share breastfeeding photos. Gone are the days where breastfeeding is seen in the day in and day out living of our lives in a community, replaced instead with virtual communities found on Facebook, forums, and other social media platforms. Social media and virtual communities need to be as multidimensional as the physical community or we lose ourselves as a society, relating to each other as a slick collection of data without the human and biological component that makes us alive. We need to see breastfeeding in real life and in the virtual world that many of us relate in as our community. This photo may seem obscene to some but to others it was inspiring and encouraging, leading some to even learn something about breastfeeding.

Women used to see breastfeeding all around them in their community, it is only fairly recently with the advent of artificial breastmilk substitutes or formula that breastfeeding was considered something to be hidden. Not sure about that? Check out the number of historical paintings of religious and nonreligious nature depicting breastfeeding as well as the historical photographs from even the Victorian era that include breastfeeding mothers. We’ve lost that presence of breastfeeding in our community and today new moms see it in their online village. Breastfeeding may be natural but it needs to be learned and it’s learned by seeing others feed their baby.

I don’t know exactly why The Leaky Boob IG account was disabled, I have received no response to my inquires from Instagram. My best guess is that the many breastfeeding images, my own, were flagged by other users. It is possible that Instagram decided to disable the account because of the #regram sharing, singling out The Leaky Boob to enforce this rule while blatantly ignoring it themselves and with other brands. I don’t know. But I do know that Instagram has shut down a resource that connected thousands of women and served as one of the avenues of the global village supporting breastfeeding. In doing so Instagram has essentially said that breastfeeding women are not welcome and sends a conflicting message that may cause breastfeeding moms to question:

…if images of breastfeeding are inappropriate and not fit for her community to see, is it inappropriate for her child to breastfeed? If she’s struggling and looking for her community for support but these images aren’t permitted, how is she going to work out that there can be a wide variety of normal in breastfeeding baby’s latches or any other variety of breastfeeding related questions? How is she going to know that she’s not alone with how her little one behaves at the breast? How else are moms going to get over the emphasis on the sexual nature of female breasts to just feed her baby when her very community shames and harasses her for sharing these images? The message that is being sent is that you can have community, you can be marketed to within that community, but your personal experience with breastfeeding is shameful and not welcome in the community. Which ultimately means the breastfeeding mother is not welcome in the community.

Maybe you’re uncomfortable seeing images of breastfeeding, that’s ok. In time, with enough moms openly feeding their babies and sharing the experience with their village, you’ll get more comfortable with it. For now though, just look away, scroll right past it, and remember that a woman feeding her baby is still a person and her child’s right to eat may just supersede your right to be comfortable. And the law agrees with that.

Help us bring back The Leaky Boob on Instagram. Instagram’s parent company, Facebook, has permitted breastfeeding images to be shared according to their terms of service, we need to pressure Instagram to do the same and to stop discriminating against breastfeeding mothers and the feeding children.

What can you do?

Join the Facebook page: Instagram, stop discriminating against breastfeeding mothers and babies

Sign this petition.

Tweet and post on Instagram and Facebook using the hashtags #beautifulbfing #bringbackTLB #stopbfingdiscrimination #normalizebreastfeeding and tag @Instagram to let them know.

Share this post with your village.

Sharing breastfeeding images isn’t for everyone, individual comfort level may prohibit you from sharing. But if you are comfortable sharing your breastfeeding photos, please do and we’d love to see.

Follow jmartinweber on Instagram for more updates on the situation with The Leaky Boob IG account.

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edited: In less than an hour of publishing this post and in only 20 minutes of sharing it on Facebook, I received the following email:

While I’m grateful they acted fast to reinstate my account once I took this issue public, I’m not satisfied. Nobody should be afraid their account will be suspended if they share breastfeeding photos. Rather, Instagram needs to clearly outline in their terms of service that breastfeeding photos are permitted and have a system in place to be sure images and accounts are viewed after a flagging so as compliant accounts and images are not deleted. Please continue to speak up for all breastfeeding women and let Instagram know their policy needs to change NOW.