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9 Reasons you may be uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding

May 29, 2014 by 11 Comments
by Jessica Martin-Weber

 

*Please note this article utilizes satire and sarcasm with humor.

Photo from Instagram user Jeniholland.

Photo from Instagram user Jeniholland.

We’re well into the 21st century yet breastfeeding appears to still make many people uncomfortable.  I keep hoping those individuals that get upset about the biologically normal way to feed a baby are really a rarity but, unfortunately, it still seems to be a hot button issue.  Regardless of how a woman is most comfortable feeding her baby, be it uncovered at the breast, covered at the breast, a bottle of expressed breastmilk, or a bottle of formula, plenty of people are uncomfortable witnessing a woman feeding her child and any form of breastfeeding seems to especially elicit vocal expressions of discomfort from others.  I identified 9 reasons people may be uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding be it on social media or in person settings and tried to offer some solutions in overcoming what is essentially a discomfort about babies being fed.  And that brings us to our first point:

  1. Agism.  Breasts aren’t the issue for you, nope.  You just don’t think babies and small children have the right to eat in public.  Or you think that every. single. time they do eat the experience should be charged with connection and intimacy between that child and their care-giver, staring deeply into each others’ eyes approximately 8-24 times a day and not witnessed by anyone else.  Those babies, they need to keep that stuff happening in private!  And yes, a baby or the needs of a small child should actually come second to your own personal comfort about what you witness.  Older people, that’s a totally different story, they can eat when they need to eat and for the most part, where they need to eat and how they need to eat it without harassment, expectation of high level bonding, or a blanket.  On the go, sitting at a table in public, while reading a book or talking with friends, it’s fine for those over the age of 2 to eat in public and even for them to post pictures of their meals on social media.  But those babies better at least keep it under wraps!  Spending some time watching just exactly how adults eat or watching this video could be key in getting you over your prejudices.  No?  You don’t discriminate against babies eating in public?  Ok, have you considered that you could have…
  2. Boob-phobia.  It’s a real thing, check it out.  Perhaps you’re uncomfortable by the sight of breastfeeding because you have Mastrophobia, a phobia of breasts (or cousins gynophobia, a fear of female parts, or papillaphobia, a fear of nipples) and seeing breastfeeding makes you want to run away.  Which maybe that’s what you should do, complete with screaming and waving your arms hysterically.  Or do what I do when watching a scary movie, hide behind a pillow only risking a peek here and there.  Actually though, if you do really have boob-phobia, you should seek professional help.  If that’s not it though, maybe it’s…
  3. Brainwashing.  Which is totally understandable and you can’t help the cultural conditioning that has brainwashed you into thinking breasts are truly only for sexual pleasure.  You’re a victim of marketing and fear.  Boobs aren’t for babies, boobs are for men/selling cars/selling beer/selling clothes/selling sex/selling music/selling movies/selling… selling, or at least that’s what the prevailing messages in much of society seems to be selling.  If this is an issue, walking around with a blanket over your head to cut out these messages could be the solution.  But maybe you are completely immune to marketing and the societal messages thrown at us from every which way, in which case it could be…
  4. Judgment.  You believe, and the reasons why are unimportant (certainly not fear or brainwashing), that breasts that aren’t properly shielded and covered belong to an immoral, immodest individual of low character.  Women that don’t keep those things contained and pull them out and stick them in the mouth of their hungry child must not have a shred of decency and you judge them for that.  Even if they define modesty or decency differently than you do.  Such as “it would be indecent of me not to feed my child when they are hungry…”  Heading to the bathroom to have your dinner may be exactly what you need to get you over this unfortunate character flaw.  Not a judgmental person?  Don’t care what other people do?  Then maybe you’re uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding because…
  5. Insecurity.  It could be anything.  Insecurity about your own breasts (male or female), insecurity about your friend/father/husband/brother/son seeing someone’s breasts (which of course means you make sure they avoid all malls, sports shows, magazines, and movies), insecurity in seeing someone breastfeed their child when you didn’t/don’t breastfeed yours, insecurity that breastfeeding or not breastfeeding is some kind of mark of “good parenting”, insecurity that others may be uncomfortable with someone else breastfeeding and you feel the need to make sure everyone (but the breastfeeding pair) is comfortable, or maybe just insecurity that humans are all mammals.  Whatever it is, and it could be anything, you personally battle insecurity and rather than face it in yourself you project your issues on to others.  Sitting next to a breastfeeding mother while she feeds her child and having a conversation with her may do the trick.  Not insecure?  If you’re confident enough to not be threatened by a woman feeding her child, could it be…
  6. Confusion.  You get grossed out by the sight of breastfeeding because of two words: body fluids.  It freaks you out that body fluids are free-flowing from a woman right into her baby!  Who needs to see that, right?  It doesn’t matter that it’s only natural because, hello, pooping, peeing, and sex are natural too and you don’t want to see any of THAT in public either, right?  It’s certainly only a matter of time before they’re bottling those body fluids up and feeding them to children too, I’m sure.  Fake urine will be flooding the shelves in no time, specially formulated to be just like the real thing.  Aside from the obvious fact that you really can’t see it happening during the act of breastfeeding, basic biology helps clear this up a bit: breastmilk = nutrition, urine/feces = waste, genital secretions = not food.  Some time studying basic nutrition and biology and understanding the basic differences should fix that right up.  Get the difference and not confused?  Moving on then, maybe it’s…
  7. Misogyny.  This goes along with the brainwashing point but it’s a little deeper.  If you’re uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding because of misogyny, you actually hate women and consider them less than men.  As such, their bodies are purely for men and a woman that would dare exercise her autonomy in using her body as she should choose, well she’s just asking for it, isn’t she?  A breastfeeding woman is just rubbing it in your face, isn’t she?  How dare she act as though she independently has worth and power over her own body.  Besides, seeing breasts in use in such an a-sexual way is a bit unsettling.  You haven’t sanctioned this and it’s uncomfortable to think that you have something in common with human babies. The way through this could be quite painful: start listening to women and catch a production of the Vagina Monologues.  But you’re not a misogynist?  Totally down with women as equals?  Great!  So what about…
  8. Denial.  There are people that spend time researching the emotion of disgust and have a disgust scale.  What is it, why do we experience it, etc.  Some triggers of disgust are understandable, like food contamination disgust.  We don’t want to get sick.  Obviously.  So why are you disgusted by breastfeeding, AKA, feeding babies?  It’s possible, these researchers theorize, that you just don’t like to be reminded of your animality.  Humanity is good in your mind but anything that connects you to the animal side of humans grosses you out.  That humans are mammals (creatures with mammary glands that use their mammaries to feed their young) is a fact you would rather forget.  Watch some Discovery channel, you’ll have to eventually confront that breastfeeding our young isn’t the only animal-like behavior we homo sapiens have.  Not that?  Then…
  9. Unfamiliarity.  When we’re not used to seeing something it can be startling when we come across it.  This isn’t your fault, you’re just not familiar with this as normal and actually expect the alternative to the biological norm instead.  You just haven’t seen breastfeeding enough to be totally down with it.  The fix to this one is pretty easy, see more breastfeeding.  You’ll get over your discomfort the more you see it and soon it will become just as normal as it actually is.  Don’t worry, more and more women are doing their part in feeding their babies in public, with and without covers, and you’ll get more comfortable with it the more you see them out and about or posting their photos on social media so hang in there, there’s hope for you yet!

 

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 What would you add to our list?  Why do you think people may have issues with witnessing breastfeeding or encountering breastfeeding images?  If you’re uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding, why do you think that is?   Did you used to be uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding but are ok with it now?

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Filed Under: Article, Bottle Feeding, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, Breastfeeding in public, breasts, Featured, guilt, humor, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Nurturing Life Motherlove Giveaway

April 22, 2014 by 39 Comments

Happy Earth Day!

 

For the last 20 years, Motherlove has created herbal care products to help women discover the bond between motherhood and mother earth.  With a specific focus on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and babies, Motherlove strives to use ingredients that come straight from the earth.  Their support of organic farming, sustainable practices, and their use of all-recycled materials for their office and product packaging, are a testament to their dedication to caring for our earth, for the benefit of mothers everywhere.  And if that weren’t enough, they also manage a 120 acre farm, called the Legacy Organic Farm, in Colorado, where they are growing many of the herbs they use in their products.

Welcome to Our Legacy Farm

To help celebrate Earth Day 2014, Motherlove is sponsoring a giveaway here on TLB, but first, here are some pics of some of the cuteness that’s happening at their farm, where Motherlove staff is hanging out today:

baby pigs nursing

nursing piglet

To read more about their day on the farm, check out today’s entry on the Motherlove blog!

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Motherlove is giving away a Nurturing Life Giftbox, celebrating new motherhood, to 1 lucky winner.

Each Nurturing Life Giftbox has a Retail value $59.95 and includes:

– pregnant belly salve

– nipple cream

– birth & baby oil

– sitz bath spray

– diaper rash & thrush

– environmentally responsible Motherlove tote bag

Currently Leakies can find these and other great pregnancy and nursing products on the Motherlove website and in some local retail stores and boutiques.

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Good luck to everyone!  Please use the widget below to be entered, and check out motherlove.com for more products related to fertility, pregnancy, and nursing .  The giveaway is open from April 22, 2014 through April 29, 2014.  A big thanks to Motherlove for their ongoing support of TLB and all breastfeeding women, please be sure to visit their Facebook page  or follow them on twitter (@motherloveherb on Twitter) and thank them for their support of TLB and this giveaway opportunity.

This giveaway is open to US entries only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Filed Under: giveaway Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Why I am not passionate about breastfeeding

December 11, 2013 by 6 Comments
by Jessica Martin-Weber
TLB creed

“How did you become so passionate about breastfeeding?”

This question comes up often.  For a while I would hem and haw an answer, stringing together some words that were an attempt at sounding intelligent and reasonable as to why I would have created and continue to run The Leaky Boob.  Awkward and fumbling, I hoped it covered the truth.

I’m not passionate about breastfeeding.

My second daughter received formula starting at 4.5 months and by 5 months was completely formula fed.  The reasons are hardly the point of me sharing this fact.  It was, we believed, the right thing for our family at the time and, like these things are want to be, complicated.

I never felt guilty about it, never even thought about feeling guilty about it.  It just was.  I’d like to say she was perfectly healthy and no issues what so ever but that wasn’t our experience.  Between reflux that took months to resolve, constipation issues that took just as long and several expensive experiments, and then RSV, pneumonia, strep throat, multiple ear infections, and more than I care to recount, her first year was more difficult than I had ever anticipated.  Formula didn’t make it better, much it was exasperated by formula.  Still, through all that, guilt about stopping breastfeeding never occurred to me.  Nor did anger, bitterness, or even hurt.  I was sad, disappointed that it didn’t work for us but that didn’t last long and there wasn’t really anything I could do about it.  Fighting like hell to be able to breastfeed had taken a toll and I was confident that giving it up was actually better for my daughter and I by that point.

I was right.

Later, when I shared my story with someone they comforted me, telling me dealing with that guilt must have been hard.  Strange, I thought, why would I feel guilty?  In that moment and many moments later as I reflected on the guilt I didn’t have, my confidence in my parenting and decision making began to erode a bit.  Already struggling with postpartum depression, this little chink in the foundation of my parenting led to me believing that I was not fit to be a mother.  It wasn’t this person’s fault but I entered a place of shadows and shame, afraid that I couldn’t trust myself to make decisions for my children.

Time, therapy, medication, and some really good friends supporting me by encouraging me to see that I was not, in fact, a horrible mother, helped me turn things around.  Through that though, I began to understand something far more important than breastmilk or formula: confidence isn’t being right, confidence is more than believing in yourself to do the right thing, confidence is having peace with who you are even when you make mistakes.  With my confidence growing again, I moved forward with my husband, embracing that doing the right thing for our family wouldn’t always be an issue of black and white, A and B, or left and right, but rather a sensitivity for all parties involved doing the best we could with whatever circumstances we would face with whatever resources, information, and understanding we had available at the time.

My next baby was breastfed, up until 18 months we had an easy, simple breastfeeding relationship that working full time and caring for 2 other children only complimented, never hindered.  Weaning with her came unexpectedly when the single most difficult and devastating parenting experience we have encountered to date hit us: the sexual abuse of our two eldest by a very dear friend.

It was tempting to unravel in that time and in many ways I did.  But our daughters needed me.  Faking it often, I attempted confidence even as I asked how could I let this happen, how could I not see the signs, how could I… have failed so badly?

More time, therapy, and really incredible friends supporting us, we got through the investigation, trial, and agonizing fragmentation of our family.  Each step was in uncharted and sometimes lonely waters with swells of failure sweeping over me.  There was grief, pain, hurt, bitterness, doubt, and anger, so much anger.  My confidence wavered and so did my husband’s.  We considered a cabin in Montana and cutting off the outside world.

Our daughters didn’t need Montana though, they didn’t need to go off the grid and be isolated.  What our daughters needed most was someone, something to be a safe landing place for them.  That was us.  There was never a moment that I was sure we were doing everything right as we walked the path in search of justice and healing and there were plenty of people telling us how we should be doing it or how we were doing it wrong.  In the midst of the pain, grief, and anger, the truth we had learned before became an anchor along with our faith and love: confidence is having peace with who you are even when you make mistakes.  Our daughters needed us to have confidence to help them land softly.  There was space for us to be honest about our insecurities and fear but the greatest gift we could give our children along with our love was to have peace in our ability to love them well even through this.

Today, 9 years later, I know my husband and I are not perfect parents, we’ve made choices that we would change if we were to have the chance to make them again.  Maybe I would fight harder to be able to breastfeed my second baby longer.  Maybe I would have feed us all with better food.  Maybe I would have done things differently in our relationship with our daughters’ attacker.  Maybe I would handle the abuse another way.  Maybe.  I don’t really know.  But I do know that having peace in who we are, holding on to peace even as it shreds in my hands pounded by guilt, bitterness, and anger, helped our daughters find peace in who they are.  Together, we found healing.

Any more when I am asked why I’m so passionate about breastfeeding I tell the asker the truth: it’s not breastfeeding I’m passionate about.  I support moms in breastfeeding because of the gift of confidence breastfeeding can be.  Maybe it won’t be for everyone but for many it is, it was for me and so this is one way I can offer support.  The science and relationship bonding are compelling on their own but they aren’t why I talk about breastfeeding so much.  By not apologizing for our bodies, not suppressing our bodies, and having peace in who we are and how we are can help mothers find the confidence they are going to need for the really tough parts of parenting.  Feeding their children, be it breastmilk or formula, is one of the very first steps all parents must take, undermining their confidence there is insidious and damaging.  People that are confident are more free to love, learn, and live with joy.  Babies with confident parents have a place to land softly no matter what life throws at them.  I’m not passionate about breastfeeding, I never have been.  People are my passion.  People start out as babies.  Babies are cared for by parents.  Parents are people.

This may not make me popular in some circles, I don’t mind.  But I believe that having a hurt, angry, bitter mother struggling with their own confidence and ability to parent is far, far worse than feeding a baby formula could ever be.  I think breastmilk is great but I think caring for people is even greater.  The benefits of confident parenting far outweigh the risks.

I would never tell a woman, or anyone, what to do with their body nor what to do with their child.  Respecting their ability and responsibility in making the right decision for themselves and their family based on the circumstances they face with the information and resources available to them at that time means I don’t know what they should do.  All I can do is offer support, information, and encourage them to embrace their confidence and move forward with peace.

This is why at The Leaky Boob we believe:

Feed the baby, care for the mother, support the family.

But if you need some help or support to feed your baby how you want: we are here.

If you need help with how to correctly mix and prepare a formula bottle: we are here.

If you need help with breastfeeding: we are here.

If you need help going back to work and continuing to breastfeed: we are here.

If you need help weaning (at any age): we are here.

If you need help starting solids: we are here.

If you just want to talk: we are here.

 

Walk in confidence, live with peace, land softly.

 

Community.  Support.  TLB.

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding support, family, Featured, formula, guilt, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Six myths about breastfeeding toddlers and preschoolers

October 4, 2013 by 19 Comments

Breastfeeding beyond the first year has been something of a hot topic over on The Leaky Boob page this week.  It started when I shared this image from Health Canada.

Healthy Canada extending breastfeeding image, breastfeeding is not just for newborns

The conversation quickly went from “YAY!” and “awww!” to “gross,” and “that’s sexual abuse of a child.”  You can check it out yourself here but it may not be too good for your blood pressure and that’s with having deleted the worst of the comments.  The next day I shared another related post presenting the perspective of a rather well-balanced 12 year old that remembers weaning at 4 years old.  That thread on Facebook got pretty ugly too.

As I read through the comments I was a bit puzzled as to what the outcry was about.  Putting the pieces together I began to see that it came down to what is really just some misunderstandings.  Myths about breastfeeding beyond the first year and the women that are willing to do so fueled these passionate (AKA really, really angry) responses to these posts.  Then the mothers that are fine breastfeeding beyond the first year were hurt, feeling judged based on myths that they did not find to be true of themselves.  Some got defensive.  And then more misunderstandings happened.  It was a vicious cycle.

To help clear up the misunderstanding, let’s take a look at some of the (surprisingly) common myths held about natural duration breastfeeding.

Myth #1: Moms that breastfeed beyond the first year and definitely into the 3rd year or beyond are trying to keep their children as babies and can’t let go and let them grow up.  If you don’t stop when they are young, they’ll never stop.

I’ve never met a parent that didn’t experience their child growing up and leaving various stages as bittersweet.  We go into parenting knowing that’s the deal, and let’s be honest here, we’re all looking forward to being done with diapers when the time comes even though we’ll be sad when they don’t quite fit to cuddle on our laps any more.  The moms I’ve talked to and from my personal experience, breastfeeding beyond 12 months isn’t about holding on to our child’s infancy, but there is a lot about embracing where they are in the moment.  If they still want to breastfeed, fine, no arbitrary date on a calendar they can’t read dictates their needs or our response.  As of yet there is no record of an adult needing their mother with them because they never weaned, really don’t think we need to worry about that.

Besides, breastfeeding a toddler or preschooler really is nothing like breastfeeding an infant.  Gymnurstics, squirmy excitement, multitasking, etc., one can’t be breastfeeding a toddler and think “aw, it’s just like cuddling them that first day!”  Even when they are falling asleep at the breast and miraculously still (and mom likely is falling asleep finally too) there’s nothing to confuse between those newborn tiny baby days where they fit into the crook of your arm at 7 pounds and the big ol’ toddler days with 30 pounds of limbs covering your lap.  I am never more aware of just how fast my daughter is growing up than in those moments and breastfeeding isn’t helping me hold on, it’s helping her hold on as she gradually transitions from baby to toddler to preschooler to school aged child.

Myth #2: Breastfeeding beyond the first year is for the mom’s benefit, not for the child.

This could only be said by someone that hasn’t breastfed beyond the first 12 months.  I can’t quite grasp this, I can’t get my child to give me a kiss, put on her shoes, or eat her food if she doesn’t want to, how in the world am I going to force her to breastfeed?  And why would I?  I mean, seriously, there are teeth in that mouth, for me to be willing to allow that mouth on my breast there has to be some very rearust established and I’m not going to risk getting bit just “for my benefit.”  And breastfeeding a toddler or preschooler isn’t all rainbow farting unicorns either, it can be very challenging and while I’m no martyr I’m also honest and realistic enough to admit that not only are there some special sweet moments breastfeeding beyond the first 12 months but there are also some crazy hard moments that I can’t stand.  Breastfeeding beyond the first 12 months isn’t for the mom’s benefit, it is for the mom and child’s benefit together.

Myth #3: Natural duration breastfeeding means a child won’t learn how to eat solids or use a cup.  Breastfeeding should stop when the child gets teeth.

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  Where did that idea come from?  Seriously, I can’t even begin to understand how someone made that rather large leap.  Some babies are born with teeth, some cut them as early as a 2-4 months.  Having teeth does not negate the nutritional and developmental requirements a child has.  Not all babies warm up to solids right away but generally toddlers grasp the concept of eating solids and drinking from a cup quite well.  One word for you: cheerios.  All my girls that breastfed beyond the first year were well into solids and drinking out of a cup by the time their first birthday rolled around.  Cake smashing was an event they enjoyed.  Avocado was a favorite first food as well as banana, sweet potatoes, and chicken, and more, all by the first year.  I have had my toddler finish at the breast and immediately sign “eat” or “drink.”  She’s not confused, she just wants to have her boob, her cup, her cake, and to eat it too.

So let me set the record straight: breastfeeding for long beyond the first 12 months will not inhibit a child’s developmental ability to eat and drink other foods.

Myth #4: Mothers that breastfeed beyond a year are trying to force all other mothers to breastfeed beyond a year even if other mothers are uncomfortable doing so.  Also, they judge any mother that doesn’t breastfeed beyond a year.

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve got my hands full trying to get my own kids to do things, I have absolutely no desire to try and get anyone else to do anything else.  Sharing information and promoting conversation is great, I’m all for it, but I don’t have the energy to force anyone to do anything.  Breastfeed, don’t breastfeed.  You don’t need my approval and I’m not looking to give it.  You can breastfeed for 3 minutes, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years, I will support you.  You may not breastfeed at all and whatever your reason, I can still support you as a person and fellow mother.  My choices are not a reaction nor a judgment on yours.  The information I share is not intended to guilt or to shame, simply share.  Conversation is great but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, there are lots of other people that do.

So now that we got that cleared up, let’s be friends.  You take care of your kids, I’ll take care of mine.  If we can learn from each other and encourage each other along the way, that would be awesome.  If not… I bet there’s a place where you can find that and it will work for you and some place else for me.

Myth #5: Breasts are for sex so breastfeeding past 12 months is sexual abuse.  Breasts are genitals and having a child suck on them is pedophilia.

Just… no.  This myth is one giant ball of NO.  Stop and think about it for just a minute.  There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING that would constitute as sexual abuse at 18 months that was acceptable to do to a child at 6 weeks.  People, please.  No.  Breastfeeding doesn’t suddenly turn into a sex act simply because of a birthday (or two or three).  Breasts have a powerful sexual attraction to them, biologically men are drawn to find female breasts attractive in looking for a mate.  Which makes sense because if they mate, well, breasts will be needed to feed the end result of that mating.  Babies need boobies.  Men are attracted to a mate that can feed babies.  It’s all kind of linked.  That doesn’t mean a child suckling at the breast is performing some kind of sexual act.  GIANT BALL OF NO.  Children are not sexually mature and hopefully a 3 year old hasn’t been exposed to the lies from society telling them that a woman’s body is first and foremost for the pleasure of others and selling things and all they know is that their mother is safe and warm and her milk is for them.  Children do not understand the concept of sex, that would be projecting adult ideas onto them.  In other words: if you see breastfeeding as a sexual act you have your own issues to deal with and you should leave the child out of it.

Myth #6: Breastfeeding after 12 months will cause a child mental health issues.

Thankfully, while there is a rise in mental health issues amongst today’s teens, breastfeeding does not appear to be related.  At. All.  Is “extended breastfeeding messing up our kids?”  The answer is a resounding no.

I’m willing to bet that if these naysayers against natural duration breastfeeding actually met most mothers who practiced natural duration breastfeeding out with her child, unless her child was actually breastfeeding when the encountered them, they would think she was a normal, healthy mother lovingly caring for her children.

And they would be right.

Because she is a normal, healthy mother lovingly caring for her children.

Maybe breastfeeding beyond a year isn’t for you, maybe you’re uncomfortable seeing it.  Maybe it’s no big deal to you and you have enjoyed that connection with your own child.  Let’s let the myths go, they cloud the issue and distract from open dialogue, breaking down what could otherwise be a supportive, encouraging exchange of ideas in conversation.

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What other myths have you heard related to breastfeeding past the first 12 months?  What has been your experience breastfeeding beyond a year?

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Filed Under: Article, baby-led weaning, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, child led weaning, extended breastfeeding, Facebook, family, Featured, Jessica, The Leaky Boob, toddler, Weaning Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

My kids broke me and now I have to change the world- ride with me

September 19, 2013 by 3 Comments

I became a mother nearly 15 years ago for the first time.  At only 20 years old it undoubtedly changed me and it would have no matter how old I had been.  Because having children does change you.  As we shape them, so they shape us.

Children Shape Us

My parents tell stories of how as a child I was always deeply burdened for others, I would cry and want to rescue every creature from the circle of life if I had the chance.  The hurt of others impacted me deeply.  Somewhere, probably sandwiched between being a little sister and being a big sister and surviving puberty, I hardened and stopped feeling quite so deeply.  Enough so that I thought I wanted to go into health care, sticking people with needles didn’t phase me and blood was cool while still appealing to my desire to help people.  I became calloused in many ways though, even the commercials of beautiful celebrities with children in drought stricken parts of Africa asking for money didn’t touch me and I was just annoyed at the pleas for money.

But then my daughter was born and suddenly, my tear ducts were broken.  I had leaky boobs AND leaky eyes.  Constantly.  I cried over everything.  The natural course of the circle of life didn’t bother me still but injustice, particularly injustice against children, could shatter me.  That and Hallmark commercials.  I kept thinking it would go away and get easier with time and I wouldn’t fall apart over the card commercials, holiday marketing, every news report involving a child, every issue brought to my attention that impacted children even those on the other side of the world, every billboard featuring a hungry child, and every art piece depicting a child with no advocate.

It didn’t really get easier though, my tear ducts are still broken.  Today, stories of human trafficking overwhelm me, children sold into the sex trade, little kids the same age as my kids being forced to harvest cocoa beans so we can have cheap chocolate, families in India stuck in a cycle of poverty and lack of education and no hope for their children to change it, boys and girls kidnapped and forced to serve as soldiers being traumatized and traumatizing, communities without access to clean water and disease running rampant and killing the most vulnerable, refugee women and children abandoned and penniless without hope far from home, orphans with special needs suffering in institutions being considered un-adoptable, and on and on.  I moved from just being sad to being angry and then to being numb until it turned into something else.

I haven’t stopped crying for these stories and many more.  But I’m not just crying about them any more.  Motherhood changed me, I couldn’t bring children into this world and not do my part to fight to make it a better place.  The needs are too big, I know I can’t fix it all, I’m not sure I can even fix anything but I can try.  Hopefully in the effort my children will be inspired to rise up and try too.  And as a mother, I have to try, if it was my family suffering I hope someone somewhere would try too.  It’s not enough that my children are privileged and safe, no, just as my children deserve a better world, so do the little boys forced to harvest cocoa beans (and I’m not talking a family farm here) and the little girls in the brothels.  That is why I’m participating in the Ride for Refuge.

Over the years how I’ve responded has evolved moving from awareness of oppression to education to doing one thing to participating in events and fundraisers to a career change working in nonprofit work to help the oppressed and now to getting off my butt and doing something about it.  Different stages of my life have afforded me different opportunities and ways to make a difference and today I have more resources, more time, and more conviction to do even more.  With my family, we’re getting up off our rear ends, getting on a bike, and riding for change with Ride for Refuge.  Then, in January 2014, The Piano Man, Earth Baby, Sugarbaby, and I are headed over to A.Konduru, India with a group of artists to learn how we can better speak up for the oppressed and celebrate the new school this community has this year.

That is why I am thrilled to be working with International Teams. We realize that everyone has the same need for food and freedom, but not everyone has the same access. By the year 2020, our goal is to be in 50 communities where no one is invisible and everyone has access to the basic human rights.

To help fund our vision, I am joining hundreds in Elgin, Illinois on October 5th, in the 10th annual Ride For Refuge.  This is where I ask you to go with me.  Maybe you can’t take a trip to India right now, but could you get on a bike?  Ride with me!  October 5, 2013 in Elgin, Illinois I’m the team captain for a Ride for Refuge team with Initiative 31.8.  If you’d like to meet me there, I’d love to ride with you and have lunch following our ride and hear about how your children inspire you to make the world a better place.  This is a family friendly event and the proceeds from this ride go to support the work of International Teams bringing people together to help the oppressed.  By getting on a bike and riding, you would be helping the oppressed.

Can’t join us in Elgin?  Jeremy and the girls will be staying behind in the Portland, OR area and while it’s not an organized event, they will be doing their own Ride where you are experience at a local park.  We’ll be announcing where within a week (actually, any suggestions?) but if you are in the area and wanted to join them that would be great.  Anyone, anywhere can organize a casual Ride Where You Are Ride for Refuge event and Leakies from all over could participate, get together, and work to help the oppressed.  And if you can’t ride, you can sponsor me to.  Be it $1 or $10,000, every cent counts and goes toward work such as the school in A.Konduru, helping refugee families find hope, work to end slavery, and helping child soldier victims in Uganda find a new life.

I’m passionate about this, as passionate as I am about helping moms and babies reach their breastfeeding goals and to help change societal attitudes about breastfeeding and women’s bodies, I’m even more committed to speaking up for the oppressed.  Alone I can’t make too much of a difference, but with you, my community of mothers, I know we can change the world.  Our children certainly deserve for us to try.  Having them broke our hearts for a reason, we can’t accept the status quo.  The Leaky Boob has taught me many lessons, the sheer power of mothers being one of them.  We can change the world.  We already are.

My fundraising goal was initially huge, then with moving I aimed for a more modest number.  Now though I just don’t think that’s acceptable.  We’re thousands, a few hundred thousand read this site monthly and our Facebook page has over 110,000 followers.  Even if only a handful of you ride with me, if the rest can donate $1 we can easily raise $100,000 if not more.  Let’s do this, we’ve got a bunch of kids and a world to change with them.

Will you sponsor me to ride?  This is the link to my sponsorship page so you can do so quickly and easily online.

This is the link to sign up to ride with me in Elgin, Il or to do a Ride Where You Are experience.

Let me know if you’ll be joining me at the ride outside of Chicago, I’d love to meet you in person and thank you for helping to make this world a better place with me.

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What moves you?  How has having children impacted how you interact with the world and what you care about?  What are you doing to make a difference and how are you involving your children?

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Filed Under: Article, family, Featured, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Breastfeeding Toddler Explains

August 5, 2013 by 41 Comments

 The transition from infant to toddler is usually a very gradual process, at times completely imperceptible.  But it is very real and there are some very special aspects of breastfeeding a toddler that are unique.  One shares with us.

 Breastfeeding toddler in black and white

 

Dear grown-ups,

My vocabulary is still quite limited but that doesn’t mean my brain isn’t going all the time and there are a few things you need to know.  Particularly about breastfeeding toddlers.  Because some grown-ups seem to get confused, I will take a moment to explain very simply so even an adult can understand.  As a breastfed toddler, what I like to just call “human being”, I don’t understand why anyone would think I shouldn’t be breastfed.  The milk is yummy, I like to be close to mommy, it’s fun, and I was just a baby still yesterday and I’m not grown up over night, you know.  Also, I don’t care how many months I am, I know I like to breastfeed and I still need it, so please don’t make it sound gross or bad.  That just seems mean.  Don’t be a meanie.  Some toddlers may be ready to move on, that’s fine and I’m not judging them but don’t judge me just because I’m not ready yet and need to breastfeed to get through my day.  I don’t judge you for what you drink to get through your day, ok?  Acting like there’s something gross and wrong about something I’ve been doing my whole life is confusing, just let me do my thing.  I can’t imagine ever stopping breastfeeding but most of the people I see don’t breastfeed any more so I figure it’s inevitable I’ll stop at some point.  Just not today.

Also, before someone tells me there’s no nutritional value to breastfeeding past the first year (it feels nutritional to me, more than most chicken nuggets) check out how breastmilk continues to change to meet my very special toddler requirements here and a mommy’s point of view on how special breastfeeding is here.

 Toddler bfing judging image

Toddler’s guide to breastfeeding (so simple, even a grown-up can understand):

 

  • Hungry?  Breastfeed.
  • Sad?  Breastfeed- rub mommy’s arm.
  • Happy?  Breastfeed- giggle lots and dribble milk.
  • Bored?  Breastfeed and sing with your mouth full of milk, won’t be bored any more!
  • Feeling silly?  Breastfeed and growl while sticking finger up mommy’s nose, she’ll growl too!
  • Tired?  Breastfeed.
  • Tired but don’t want to sleep?  Breastfeed- keep switching sides.
  • Tired but don’t want to sleep and want to try to keep playing?  Breastfeed- break out dance moves.
  • Want to go to sleep?  Breastfeed.
  • Just wake up?  Breastfeed and consider falling back asleep.
  • Fall asleep on the breast and mommy tries to sneak away?  MUST BREASTFEED.
  • See mommy is busy and want her attention?  NEED to breastfeed NOW.  Sign milk constantly at the breast.
  • See mommy is not busy?  Breastfeed.
  • See mommy is bored and needs something to do other than laundry?  Breastfeed.
  • Mommy trying to work?  Breastfeed.
  • Afraid mommy is going to go down the toilet?  Keep mommy safe, saver her by holding on to the boobies by breastfeeding!
  • See mommy sat down?  GET THE BOOBIES!  Even if you just breastfed, breastfeed now, she wants you too, why else would she sit down?
  • See the ta-tas out when mom is changing?  BREASTFEED NOW!  DO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY!
  • Fall down?  Breastfeed, pop off and wail occasionally to remind everyone what happened.
  • Get hurt?  Breastfeed.
  • Got hurt yesterday but just remember?  Breastfeed and whine at the same time.
  • Broken toy?  Breastfeed, pull mom’s hair so she knows how upset you are.
  • Can’t climb that stupid gate thing?  Breastfeed and point at it.
  • Break mommy or daddy’s toy?  Breastfeed and make sure she keeps looking you in the eye until the oxytocin kicks in and you help her forget about the toy.
  • See mommy and daddy kiss?  Breastfeed and slap daddy away.
  • See mommy and daddy hug?  Breastfeed and give daddy the evil eye.
  • See friend breastfeeding?  Breastfeed more than them.
  • Mommy sleepy?  Time for gymnurstics.
  • Mommy tries to exercise?  Breastfeed- insist on side lying.
  • Mommy eating?  Breastfeed- time for gynurstics or stick fingers in her mouth.
  • Mommy getting ready for date with daddy?  Breastfeed- insist on hand on other one too, give daddy stink-eye.
  • Mommy talking on the phone?  Breastfeed while standing on her lap, pop off occasionally to yell in her face to help her talk.
  • Mommy making food for other people?  Remind her how easy it is to breastfeed.  If she doesn’t do it right away, cling to leg, refuse the carrier, and jam your hands down her shirt as soon as possible.
  • Need to pee?  Breastfeed then freak.
  • Just changed diaper and need to poop?  Breastfeed.
  • Wearing clothes?  Breastfeed.
  • Naked?  Breastfeed?
  • Love dinosaurs, baby dolls, trains, elephants, anything else?  Breastfeed to celebrate and tell mommy all about it.
  • Get a new toy?  Breastfeed and insist mommy breastfeed the toy too.
  • Toys get hungry?  Have mommy breastfeed toy, get angry that mommy is sharing with toy, throw tow, breastfeed and give toy stink-eye.
  • On a plane?  Breastfeed- swallow loudly to clear ears and make everyone happy you’re not screaming.
  • Headed to the car?  Quick, arch back, twist, anything, BREASTFEED.
  • Mommy holding you while meeting new people?  Breastfeed or at least let them know the boobies are yours by shoving hands in mommy’s shirt.
  • Daddy and mommy snuggling in bed?  Need that boob!  No, that one!  No, the other one!  Must breastfeed on both right now!
  • Mommy in shower?  Let her know you need to breastfeed and are worried the shower will wash your milk away.  Screaming may be necessary.
  • Walking?  Breastfeed every couple of steps.
  • Climbing?  Breastfeed when they move you off things.  Every time.
  • Have sickies?  Breastfeed lots and lots and lots.
  • Cutting molars?  Smash all the things!  And breastfeed.
  • See picture of breastfeeding?  Breastfeeding for all!
  • Hear music?  Do the breastfeeding dance.
  • Knock over block tower?  Breastfeed- hold block and hit mommy with it.
  • Grandma coming over?  Breastfeed and tell her how excited you are about it at the same time.
  • Having a first experience?  Breastfeed.
  • Think mommy is going to leave without you?  Desperately need to breastfeed to avoid starvation.
  • Mommy returns home after being out?  Five minutes or 5 hours, you must breastfeed while berating her for leaving even if you didn’t actually notice she was gone.

Isn’t breastfeeding wonderful?

You know what else is wonderful?  The roll of toilet paper.  You can use the whole thing to fill the potty, it’s so fun!  And then mommy has to clean up a giant mess and it’s time to breastfeed again.  Everyone has fun!

Love,

Your friendly local breastfeeding toddler.

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What would you or your toddler add to this list of toddler breastfeeding?  Have you changed your views of breastfeeding beyond a year?

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Filed Under: Article, baby-led weaning, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, child led weaning, family, Featured, humor, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting, toddler, Weaning Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing

March 25, 2013 by
by Kari Swanson

full term breastfeeding

My daughter was placed on my chest immediately after my obstetrician finished stitching up my c-section incision. She latched onto my breast and started breastfeeding right there in the operating room. Last month we celebrated her third birthday. She knows that babies have mama milk. She also knows that big girls have mama milk until they are ready to stop having mama milk. I expect that sometime between now and the time she is around 5 years old she will gradually wean.

Some might consider the fact that my daughter is 3 and still receiving breastmilk to be extreme, but anthropological evidence indicates that this is biologically normal for a young hominid primate. That being said, it is probably no surprise that I consider myself to be a lactivist. I believe that human breastmilk is the biologically normal food source for human infants and I volunteer as an admin on The Leaky B@@b in order to support other breastfeeding mothers and to help normalize breastfeeding in a culture that has largely lost sight of the real reason women have breasts.

What may come as a surprise to some is that my daughter and my son before her received formula in addition to breastmilk. Why? Because I work full time outside of my home and I am among the unlucky few who truly do not respond well to breast pumps. For whatever reason my body just does not give up the gold for a machine despite my supply being more than adequate. After a time, despite numerous tips and tricks, pumping whenever and wherever I could, I ceased to be able to pump enough milk to entirely meet my babies’ nutritional needs while they were separated from me while I worked.

With my daughter I was fortunate to be able to spend 3 months home with her after she was born, and to spend 3 months thereafter working half time. I pumped at home before returning to work and I pumped before work, during work, after work, and on non-workdays once I returned to work. I had a small stash of milk in the deep freezer when I returned to work, but it was quickly depleted. When I first returned to work and pumped I easily had enough milk by the end of the day to send to the daycare without dipping into my frozen milk stash.

I determined how much milk my daughter needed in her daycare bottles using an iPhone app called “Breast Milk Calculator.” The app uses the baby’s weight, age and number of feedings in the previous 24 hours to suggest how much milk he or she needs per feeding. Using the app I determined exactly how many ounces she needed per bottle. The number of feedings was based on the number of hours she was away from me and how frequently she would normally nurse.

But, just as it had when my son was a baby, my pumping output dwindled over time. Eventually I was pumping less than an ounce per side per pumping session. I used up my entire frozen milk stash. Despite my best efforts at around 6 months I was no longer able to pump enough to send only breastmilk in my daughter’s daycare bottles. So, I sent as much breastmilk as I could and to make sure she had sufficient nutrition I sent formula too.

When my daughter was a newborn she, like her brother, needed supplementation. They both had jaundice and they both lost more than the usual amount of weight after birth. Although her condition was better than her brother’s had been (he was a very sleepy 37 weeker with more severe jaundice), my daughter was also a slow gainer. So, the IBCLC we saw recommended supplementation while I built up my own supply. When my son was a newborn he received formula supplementation, but my daughter received donor breastmilk, or as we referred to it “Auntie milk”—because our milk donor was my sister who was still breastfeeding her toddler son at the time my daughter was born.

By the time my daughter was in daycare full time and my pumping supply could not keep up with my daughter’s demands my sister’s son had weaned. I considered donor breastmilk, but decided against it. My strong, healthy baby did fine on formula, and I felt that the relatively limited supply of donor milk in my area should be available to babies for whom formula was not an option, babies whose mothers could not breastfeed them at all or whose health really warranted the exclusive use of donor milk. So, we chose formula instead.

I already knew exactly what formula I would choose for my daughter if I reached this point, because I had read quite a bit of research about formula before I had my son. I looked up numerous scholarly research articles and reviews of the literature about formula on PubMed. At that point I knew I wanted to breastfeed, but I had been given the somewhat unhelpful advice that my desire to breastfeed and to go back to work full time were “setting [myself] up for failure”. So, in case that was true I did all of that research about formula and based my decision on what I had read. (Bear in mind that my son was born in 2004 and donor milk was not as prevalent, except from milk banks by prescription and at a rather high price.) Despite many assertions otherwise, infant formula is an acceptable, nutritionally adequate alternative to breastmilk and is a much better choice than the milk of any other mammal or milk made from plants.

Eventually both of my babies received only formula in their daycare bottles. Both times the amount I was able to pump became miniscule compared to the amount they needed and the stress and frustration of pumping so little became too much for me, so I stopped. They both did fine on the formula they received part of the time, so I felt comfortable giving them as much as they needed while they were separated from me. My daughter had breastmilk exclusively, either at the breast or in bottles, for more than 6 months. They were around the same age when they started receiving formula alone in their daycare bottles: 7-8 months. Despite this both of my babies continued to breastfeed whenever they were with me. They never experienced nipple confusion, expressed a preference for the bottle, or had nursing strikes. They both stopped receiving formula when they no longer needed bottles at daycare.

So, yes I am a lactivist. I believe breastmilk is the biologically normal food for human infants. But, breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

 

You can read more from Kari over on her site and enjoy her thoughtful, thorough writing and beautiful photography.

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Did you respond well to breast pumps?  Have you had to supplement?  If so, what did you use?  Were you able to supplement and still reach your breastfeeding goals?

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Filed Under: Article, baby-led weaning, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastmilk pumping, child led weaning, Children and breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding, Featured, guest posts, Leakie to Leakie, Milk Supply, motherhood, Parenting, Supplementing, Weaning Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Earth Mama Angel Baby Giveaway

March 21, 2013 by

Started by Melinda, a mother who believes in the natural healing power of herbs, Earth Mama Angel Baby offers organic products for expectant and new mothers, and their babies.  Their dedication to supporting mothers and babies makes them such an easy fit with The Leaky Boob.  Read below as Melinda shares more about Earth Mama Angel Baby and some of her own experience as a new mother. And then enter for your chance to win a Breastfeeding Essentials Bundle!

MelindaOlson

TLB:  What should readers know about Earth Mama Angel Baby and the values you hold to for your company?

Melinda:  The one most important thing I’d love people to really understand is this: these products were formulated for pregnant women to use. If it’s going ON and IN a pregnant woman, it is literally being given to her unborn baby. The herbs used in Earth Mama products have stood the test of generations, and have been historically, safely used on the most fragile population on the planet. If it’s truly safe enough for a pregnant woman, it’s safe. But how do you know what’s safe?

We love mamas with lots of questions, because we have them too. What makes a product truly organic? Why do some companies use questionable ingredients but still use the word organic? What’s all that information on the label, and is it important? We think it is, and we think mamas have a right to know what they are putting on their babies. We don’t think that’s too much to ask, so we are happy to tell them!

TLB: Do you think parents really care about reading labels and knowing what organic really means?

Melinda: The reason we do this is because it’s safer. And safer is better. I couldn’t do it any other way, because I need to sleep at night knowing I’ve done my best to keep mamas and babies safe. One of our missions is education. People know to do better once they know that there is better to do. And we think that once mamas know about what’s really safe, they start to see how difficult it can be as a consumer to know what you are really putting on your baby. Mamas shouldn’t have to be chemists to know if something is safe. If something is safe it should say on the label. Sadly, there are a lot of words – like safe, natural, honest, organic – that are used on product labels that are anything but.

TLB:  What was the inspiration behind the name Earth Mama Angel Baby?

Melinda: It’s about using traditional plant medicine for our most precious populations: pregnant mamas and brand new babies. Our tag line is “Gifts from the earth, for your gift from heaven” and that’s not just cute, it’s true.

TLB: What is your role in Earth Mama Angel Baby and what do you enjoy most about it?

Melinda: Earth Mama Angel Baby was born in my garage, after I spent an intensive period studying herbs and plant medicine. I knew instinctively that the herbs that are abundant on this earth are here to heal and nurture, safely, and I wanted to pass that on to people. Women especially, because women go through pregnancy with a lot of thought for their growing baby, but with not as much thought for their stretching, itchy skin, bottom problems and tummy troubles. I enjoy helping mamas who are feeling so exhausted or discouraged from the normal discomforts of pregnancy. Or hearing that Angel Baby Bottom Balm soothed a particularly terrible diaper rash. I love getting feedback from mamas, whether they are needing help or saying thanks, it’s a joy to connect with them. And the baby pictures are great too!

TLB:  We all know that all that’s really essential to breastfeeding are a pair of lactating breasts and a hungry baby, but aside from those basics, what did you find invaluable in your breastfeeding journey?

Melinda: On day two after my first child was born I was home alone. I didn’t have support or models of breastfeeding, but I also didn’t have any expectations of problems. I didn’t know there could be problems, so any difficulty that came up I just figured out! Although I think the resources mamas have now are invaluable, with breastfeeding support and lactation consultants and sites like The Leaky Boob, there was something important for me in just sticking it out because I had to. I think I’d say to breastfeeding mamas, when you’re going to dig a trench you’re gonna get blisters, but by the time you’ve dug 5 trenches you’ll have some calluses and you’ll know that holding the spade a certain way works better for you than another way. By the time you’ve dug 10 you won’t even think about any of that. There’s a break-in period for breastfeeding, and it comes from sticking it out. In the end there is an amazing reward, not just the best nutrition for your baby, and the bond you’ll have for life, but the knowledge that you did this amazing, miraculous thing. It’s like boot camp, you asked your body to do something difficult, and it responded with exhaustion and confusion and then showing you that it was capable of doing it.

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Earth Mama Angel Baby is giving away 3 Breastfeeding Essentials Bundle to 3 lucky Leakies! 

The Breastfeeding Essentials Bundle has a retail value of $44.09 and its purpose is to offer soothing comfort to nourish a new mama’s breasts, so she can nourish her angel baby, naturally.

It includes all-natural necessities for every breastfeeding mama. Organic Milkmaid Tea is a USDA Certified 100% Organic nursing tea that helps support healthy breast milk production. Lanolin-free Natural Nipple Butter (2 fl. Oz.) is a naturally safe nipple cream that helps soothe and prevent sore, cracked nipples. Booby Tubes® are gel-free breast packs to use warm or cold to ease breasts sore from engorgement or mastitis. Safe and natural, with no toxins ever.

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Currently Leakies can find these and other wonderful organic products at www.earthmamaangelbaby.com

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Good luck to everyone!  Please use the widget below to be entered.  The giveaway is open from March 21, 2013 through March 27, 2013.  A big thanks to Melinda and Earth Mama Angel Baby for their ongoing support of TLB and all breastfeeding women; please be sure to visit their Facebook page and Twitter (@earthmamahq) and thank them for their support of TLB and this giveaway opportunity.

This giveaway open to U.S. entries only. 

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My Mommy Bliss

October 10, 2012 by

I peeked around the corner into where I heard the sounds of baby babble.  She had been on the look out for me, immediately rolling over onto her tummy and smiling tentatively.  Stepping into the room I greeted her softly and she laid her head down and smiled, a shy lopsided smile.  She was happy to see me and I her.  We had been apart for several hours.  Now, after a long nap, we were finally reconnecting.  I told her I missed her, she lifted her head and kicked excitedly, a grin filling her face showing off the 2 tiny white teeth that protruded from her bottom gums.  Both legs kicked the bed, arms flapping rapidly, broken only by the super baby pose and intense grins at me.  Overwhelmed with excitement she buried her face in the mattress, her body tense with an excited delight.  I leaned in, nuzzling her cheek and kissing her neck and she squealed glee, a squawking sound that dissolved into a giggle and ended with a sigh.  My whole being sighed too.  This was right.  This was mommy bliss.  She rolled toward me and I kissed the top of her head, breathing in her intoxicating smell, treasuring the velvety softness of her peach fuzz.  Her diaper still dry, I climbed onto our bed to snuggle and feed her.  Expectation and excitement mingled as she realized she was hungry and her kicking intensified, she began to fuss lightly.  Her hungry sound.  Little hands opened and closed, grabbing at the bed.  Her eyes watched my every move, anticipation building, I was not moving fast enough now.  As I got comfortable, I encouraged her to make her way to me but desperation set in quickly, we had been parted too long and she needed to eat now, not a second later.  Drawing her to me and lifting my shirt, I watched her calm with knowing.  More skilled at this than anything else, she was like a artist at work, anxious and itching to get started, smooth and calm in the moment of delivery.  Her mouth enveloped my nipple, her hand rested on my breast.  Laying side by side our breathing synched and I watched as she got in the zone, filling her tummy with my milk.  My milk let down quickly to her masterful technique and soon she hummed contentedly between swallows.  Finally she lifted her eyes to my face and I smiled my own lopsided smile at being noticed again.  Still in the zone, she held my gaze, never interrupting her pace as she satiated her hunger.  Her soft hums felt like a lullaby and a content relaxed sleepiness came over us both and I closed my eyes.  A contented gurgle beckoned me to open my eyes and I looked down to see her gazing up at me, no longer latched to my breast.  When our eyes met her face relaxed into the lopsided smile and she raised a hand to my face.  Staring and smiling, we stroked each other’s face, savoring the contact.  She told me about her day and I murmured about how I missed her.  Contentment in this moment of perfection clouded the reality of dirty dishes, unanswered emails, and a thousand other tasks requiring my attention. There was just her and me.

 

This is right.  This is my mommy bliss.

 

Filed Under: Article, baby, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding and sleep, breastfeeding stories, family, Featured, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: , , , ,

Motherlove Giveaway- Nurturing Life

September 26, 2012 by
Some companies go above and beyond giving to their customers and supporting families.  Motherlove Herbal Company was started by herbalist Kathryn Higgins out of a desire to help moms and families.  Her vision has expanded to include a non-profit private foundation The Nurturing Life Foundation.  Read this interview with the Motherlove founder to learn more about how she is nurturing life, families, and the earth through her company.  Continuing the trend of giving nurturing support, Motherlove Herbal Company is also giving away a Nurturing Life Gift Box to 3 winners.  I’m so grateful for the support of Motherlove for TLB and the friendship and encouragement of Kathryn.    

TLB: How did the Nurturing Life Foundation come about?

Kathryn: The Nurturing Life Foundation is a non-profit, private foundation funded by Motherlove Herbal Company. When I founded Motherlove over 20 years ago, I knew that I wanted the company to give back. As part of our 15-year anniversary celebration, we were able to found the Nurturing Life Foundation as a way to do that.

TLB: I’m a huge fan of the Nurturing Life Foundation, can you give me a brief overview?

Kathryn: The name of the Nurturing Life Foundation comes from Motherlove’s tagline, Nurturing Life. That sums up what Motherlove is all about. We believe in the healing strength of Mother Earth and the wisdom of our bodies, as well as our responsibility to nurture Mother Earth. Our products are based on herbs and formulated for the pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding period in a woman’s life – precisely when she is nurturing life. Breastfeeding is truly the nurturing of life.

It’s the nurturing of the mother, her nurturing of the baby and our need to nurture Mother Earth that guide Motherlove in our day-to-day operations.

TLB: What does the Nurturing Life Foundation do?

Kathryn: The mission of The Nurturing Life Foundation is to promote breastfeeding and support mothers in need, as well as to create opportunities for children. We do that by donating 10% of every Motherlove product purchase to the Nurturing Life Foundation, who then uses that money to support organizations that work with breastfeeding moms and/or children in need.

One organization doing amazing work is BELLAS, which stands for Breastfeeding, Encouragement, Learning, Liaison, and Support. This program is a resource for low income, minority and teen moms who often lack the resources to obtain lactation assistance.

We also work with the Breastfeeding Resource Center, a community resource center that provides moms with expert clinical and educational breastfeeding resources. They work with local hospitals, educate moms at local events about the importance of breastfeeding and help moms with every stage of breastfeeding with free support classes and IBCLC support where payment is income-based.

Other organizations we are privileged to work with include Realities for Children and Mountain Park Environmental Center, both of which work with local kids.

TLB: What is one of your favorite stories connected to the Nurturing Life Foundation?

Kathryn: There are so many. Close to my heart are the stories about children who are overcoming life circumstances that should never happen to any child. Learning about these kids and being able to help is a remarkable experience.

Through our work with Realities for Children and their Triumph Awards, The Nurturing Life Foundation has been able to award full college scholarships to youth who would otherwise receive no support to get an education. These are young people who have overcome childhood abuse, but also triumphed over their situation academically, socially and personally.

A sister program to the Triumph Awards, the Keeping Dreams Alive program works with local agencies to identify children between the ages of 6-15 who are living in situations that might kill their dreams for a different future for themselves. The Nurturing Life Foundation participates in giving these children something tangible for their dream today.

One of the programs we support that is especially important to me is the Birds and Bees, Flowers and Trees, a camping experience for girls ages 12-15, created by the Mountain Park Environmental Center. Using a blend of sex education and nature education, this program empowers girls to be comfortable and knowledgeable about their bodies and the world around them in order to make healthy choices, care for the environment, and have thoughtful relationships.

TLB: How can others support the Nurturing Life Foundation?

Kathryn: Every time someone buys a Motherlove product, they are supporting the Nurturing Life Foundation. And by reading the descriptions of the non-profits that we support on the Nurturing Life Foundation’s website and the links to the profiles and letters we receive, you might very well be inspired to support these organizations with your own donations.

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Motherlove is giving away a Nurturing Life Giftbox, celebrating new motherhood, to 3 lucky winners:

Each Nurturing Life Giftbox is has a Retail value $59.95 and includes:

– pregnant belly salve

– nipple cream

– birth & baby oil

– sitz bath spray

– diaper rash & thrush

– environmentally responsible Motherlove tote bag

Currently Leakies can find these and other great pregnancy and nursing products on the Motherlove website and in some local retail stores and boutiques.

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Good luck to everyone!  Please use the widget below to be entered, and check out motherlove.com for more products related to fertility, pregnancy, and nursing .  The giveaway is open from September 25, 2012 through October 1, 2012.  A big thanks to Kathryn and Motherlove for their ongoing support of TLB and all breastfeeding women, please be sure to visit their Facebook page  or follow them on twitter (@motherloveherb on Twitter) and thank them for their support of TLB and this giveaway opportunity.

This giveaway is open to US entries only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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