Night Weaning Gently FAQ’s and Night Weaning Week 2020 with Giveaway

Night Weaning Week 2020 is made possible thanks to the generous support of Naturepedic and the Night Weaning Gently Workshop.

 

Learn more about all the brands sponsoring Night Weaning Week below, including Naturepedic organic mattressesArdo, Crane USA, Olababy, the “Night Weaning, gently” workshop, and the upcoming “Sex, Interrupted” e-book.

But first, we’re answering some common questions related to Night Weaning.___________________

Night Weaning Gently FAQs

by Jessica Martin-Weber

 

What is respectful, gentle night weaning?

Respectful, gentle night weaning is a mindful process of ending night feeds that considers the needs of the entire family with awareness of development and the importance of the parent/caregiver – child bond. This process cares for the whole family and can be done with any sleep arrangement in respect for the family’s values, priorities, and needs. While it may be with some tears, it won’t be traumatizing or isolating and there will be comfort for those tears, which teaches your child that they can be upset and still have care and support from you even when they can’t have what they want. It does not involve leaving your child to cry alone.

Ready to night wean but want more help in doing so? Take our Night Weaning Gently Workshop e-course.

 

When is a good time to start thinking about night weaning and does it have to mean moving baby into their own room? How do you know if they’re ready?

(Want to determine your family’s readiness for a respectful, gentle night weaning experience? Start with this free downloadable night weaning readiness checklist.)

I really think the answer to this is very unique to each family and each baby. Night weaning doesn’t have to mean moving the child into their own room if that is not what is desired by the family. It is important to remember that every child is different and their unique temperament may greatly influence their night weaning readiness. While some infants naturally give up their night feeds at a young age, more commonly night feeds remain an important part of an infant’s routine until 10-12 months of age or beyond for both nutrition and comforting reasons. Under 6 months night feeds for the breastfed baby are important in establishing and protecting milk supply and night weaning too early can lead to low milk supply. If your child is under 10 months, they may not be ready to night wean. Both child and parental readiness are important – if you are not ready to night wean your child, you do not have to. Your child’s level of readiness for night weaning is the most important consideration and we do not encourage attempting to night wean if your child’s readiness score is not optimal. 

(Points to keep in mind for your child’s sleep space.)

 

Will night weaning gently end all night wakeups?

Maybe, maybe not. It usually will help but we all wake for a wide variety of reasons, including babies, toddlers, and young children. Night weaning gently will end night wakings to feed while respectfully preserving the parent/caregiver-child bond.

 

How long does it take to night wean gently?

It is very unique and individual, every child and family is different but typically somewhere between 7-10 nights. However, sometimes it is a very smooth and easy-going transition, particularly if your child is very ready for the process and it may be complete in 3 nights. Other times it is a more drawn out process with additional steps, particularly if there are any set-backs such as illness or travel. 

Wondering if your child is really ready? See this checklist.

 

What are some cues that your baby may be ready for night time weaning?

Studies have shown that babies under 12 months still need to wake often to eat both for nutrition and for safety in their sleep cycle.  So I don’t look for any signs of readiness before 10-12 months. After the one year mark, though, any combination of these may be a sign of readiness to night wean:

  • Seems tired and grumpy during the day.
  • Eats well (solids and breast milk) during the day.
  • Has moved through some of the major milestones such as walking.
  • Does NOT have intense separation anxiety.
  • Is not actively teething or sick.
  • Seems frustrated and restless at night at the breast
  • Wakes to nurse but falls quickly back to sleep without really eating.
  • Shows basic understanding of phrases like “all done.”
  • Shows interest and awareness in bed time routines and daytime vs. nighttime.
  • May play putting toys to bed.
  • Responds to soothing other than breastfeeding (i.e. rocking, singing, back rubs, etc.)
  • For a more complete list of signs of night weaning readiness, download your free night weaning readiness checklist here.

I think night weaning is most successful if the child is truly ready for it, please don’t expect that just because your child is over a year old they will be ready to night wean.  If it is a giant struggle or at any time the parents feel this is all wrong and not what they want to be doing then they should stop. It is possible that a child won’t be ready one month but will be the next. Remaining flexible is perhaps the most important key to night weaning. Maybe for all of parenting actually.

 

What’s really involved in respectful, gentle night weaning?

It will depend on your child’s personality, your sleep arrangements, the support you have, and your primary goals in night weaning, but in general you set a kind of time frame that you won’t breastfeed during (your most valuable sleep hours) and soothe without the breast when they wake instead. Go over the night weaning readiness checklist and if it looks like you’re ready, you start with a block of time you don’t feed during the night, say 10pm – 4am and instead offer cuddles, back rubs, soft sounds, empathy for their upset with comforting words, and maybe a sippy cup of water. You may want to do more to prepare and it is likely you will want to more specifically customize the process to be mindful of your child’s personal sleep temperament.

Learn more about your child’s sleep temperament and night weaning gently in this do-at-you-own-pace e-workshop.

 

Can you respectfully and gently night wean a child without the help of a partner?

Absolutely. 

 

Are there options in how to night wean?

There are several and any method should be customizable to your family’s needs.

Night weaning gently method overviews:

The Feed To Sleep Method– For toddlers. If continuing to breastfeed to sleep for bedtime is something you want to continue, this method allows for gently ending middle of the night feeds while allowing for breastfeeding to continue to be the last step in the bedtime routine. With responsive comfort given for wake-ups during a set time frame of your most valuable sleep hours, the Feed to Sleep Method gradually reduces feed times during those hours over the course of several days but does not interfere with breastfeeding to sleep at bedtime.

The Gentle Weaning Method– For older babies and toddlers. This method involves including breastfeeding as part of the bedtime routine but gently weaning off breastfeeding to get to sleep at bedtime and through the night. A respectful, tuned-in approach that ends the connection between breastfeeding and nighttime sleep by observing how suckling changes and gradually reducing the time at the breast for each feed before laying baby back down.

The Time Block Method– For older toddlers and preschoolers. Involves the older child in the process with conversation that breastfeeding (or whatever your family calls it) will only happen when the sun shines or in a specific spot and not during sleep time any more. Selecting one feed to start with and using the light outside, the time on the clock, a color changing clock, or some other signal, the child knows that breastfeeding will not be available until that time but that comfort is still offered.

 

Do you have to night wean or will they eventually stop on their own?

Night weaning is completely optional. All children will stop feeding through the night on their own, often between the ages of 2-4 but sometimes later. However, no child has been breastfeeding through the night by the time they have gone off to college, they all stop at some point. If you don’t want to night wean, you don’t have to.

I can’t stress enough that being flexible and figuring out what works for your family, not following a set schedule of what someone has predetermined your child should be doing at what age is crucial for the night weaning experience to be free from trauma.

For more in-depth support in planning your respectful, gentle night weaning journey and for less than the cost of a night at a hotel, take the Night Weaning Gently Workshop with Jessica Martin-Weber and no-cry Children’s Sleep Consultant, Rebecca Michi. Register here.

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Night Weaning Week Giveaway

 

Many thanks to the brands that are participating in Night Weaning Week. They believe that parents should have easy access to the information they need to make the best decisions they can. Their products reflect that belief, and we’re excited to share a bit about the ones featured in this giveaway.

To enter the giveaway, please use the widget at the end of this post. 

 

Our Title Sponsor, Naturepedic, is all about sleep. Their mission is to provide everyone from babies to adults with a fuller, healthier night’s sleep on a quality organic mattress. Their handcrafted organic mattresses and accessories are a dream to sleep on. You can sleep soundly knowing that you are completely safe from unhealthy materials and chemicals.

Naturepedic Crib Mattress
Retail Value: $349 

The Organic Breathable 2-Stage Baby Crib Mattress combines breathability and waterproofing for a safe, healthy and hygienic crib mattress design. The mattress starts with a firm, flat waterproof surface made from non-GMO sugarcane that is so pure, it actually meets food contact standards and easily wipes clean.

 

 

 

 

A free registration for the “Night Weaning, gently” workshop
$295 Value

Learn how to gently end night feeds thanks to the Night Weaning Gentlyworkshop, with Jessica Martin-Weber, founder of The Leaky Boob and Rebecca Michi, children’s sleep consultant.

 

 

Ardo: Calypso-To-Go breast pump
Retail Value: $300

The Calypso-To-Go is a Swiss-made, closed system breast pump that features: 64 settings, 3 power options (battery, AC adapter, car adapter), less than a pound, piston pump (gentler than membrane pump), 250mmHg (same as most pumps), insurance covered. It goes where you go!

 

 

 

 

Crane: Elephant Humidifier
Retail Value: $55

Meet Elliot the Elephant! No matter the humidity level you would like to achieve we’ve got you covered. The Crane Adorable cool mist humidifiers offer variable output settings and an adjustable 360 degree mist lid making it easy to send the mist in any direction. Plus, our humidifiers are whisper quiet which makes it the perfect option for light sleepers, kids, and especially babies.


Olababy: a transitional feeding set, or a spoon + bowl feeding set
Retail Value: $25

Baby-led weaning training spoons and silicone bottles

 

 

 

 

12 free copies of the upcoming “Sex, Interrupted” e-book
Retail value: $17.99
Coming out April, 2020

What if intimacy and sex could actually be BETTER after baby?

Jessica and Jeremy Martin-Weber, together for over 20 years and still “doin’ it” in spite of having 7 kids, share their stories and thoughts on how they’ve kept their connection – and their groove – alive all this time. Straightforward and honest, they share the good, the bad – the ugly – the challenges and the beauty in maintaining a relationship when babies enter the picture – and stay there FOREVER. 

 

Enter the giveaway here:

 

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Ask the Sleep Expert- Rebecca Michi- Sleeping Transitions for your Baby – Sleep In Arm’s Reach

The Leakies with Rebecca Michi
This post made possible by the generous support of Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper

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We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakies to share their current sleep struggles. Here are a few of the responses, followed by Rebecca’s support.

 

My son is 13 months old and has co-sleept with us since birth. At first he was in a co-sleeper next to our bed and when he outgrew that he was in our bed with us. I’m feeling ready for him to be in his own sleep space because my back gets sore. How can we transition him to his own little bed in our room for now without traumatizing him and making him feel rejected?

Thank you so much for your support!

Ready to sleep alone.

 

If you’re beginning to think about making the transition to more independent sleep, now is the time to start preparing. Getting ready to make the move will take you much longer than actually making the move.

Make sure that your son is comfortable with the space you want him to sleep in, so set up the toddler bed and make sure he has plenty of awake/playtime there. Start small and increase the time as he gets more and more comfortable with it. You can play with him initially, but do work on moving away from the bed, you can do other things in the room as well as leaving for short periods of time. When he is comfortable with around 20 minutes you can work on making the change.

Make sure the mattress is on par with yours, if yours is super squishy and his isn’t he may have a tough time sleeping there as it is so different. You may want to buy a mattress topper or put a quilt or blanket on top of the mattress but under the sheet.

You could start with naps in his bed or just the beginning of the night. It is never an all or nothing when it comes to making changes to sleep, you can gradually make the changes. You just want to make sure you are being consistent with the changes. If naps are going to be in his bed, then naps need to be in his bed, especially when you begin to make these changes, changing venue one day to the next can be very confusing and unsettling and he could have a much harder time making the transition.

Good luck.

 

Co-branded Arms Reach- July 2016

My mother-in-law insists I’m spoiling my son by rocking him to sleep and then transitioning him to his own sleep space. Is this the case? He’s 6 weeks old and I just love this time with him snuggled up to me, I’m not ready to let it go. Am I ruining his sleep by doing this?

I appreciate all you’ve shared with us before, thank you!

Still Rocking

 

You are certainly not spoiling him, food spoils babies don’t! He’s only 6 weeks old, he’s just so new. I suggest you give him all the help he needs to get to sleep and enjoy those wonderful cuddles. When he goes through a really big sleep transition at around 12 weeks old (52 weeks from conception), he will sleep quite differently and at that point you may want to try for the elusive drowsy but awake, though I do feel that drowsy but awake may be an urban myth! Make changes when you are ready and enjoy those amazing snuggles.

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I love bed sharing, as a matter of fact I sleep better with him next to me and my partner and I love waking up with his smiling face between us but I have Problem …. Naps! I love laying with him but I cannot get anything done during the day because I’m stuck in bed with him. He will sleep without me for about 30 minutes but he needs more than that and I need to be productive! He’s 8 months and I can no longer spend a couple of hours in bed during the day. I want to do crib naps but he will NOT tolerate it as he will scream for 30 minutes with me next to him patting him etc. I don’t feel comfortable getting him to sleep and then sneaking away, in part because he won’t sleep long but also because of the safety of him alone in my bed is an issue, he wakes up silently and will crawl right off of I’m not there.

Thank you for your help!

Searching for a miracle Answer.

 

One day stay near him and watch him sleep as he naps, you need to know when he comes into a light sleep, this will be when he make a noise or moves and should be around 10 or so minutes before he actually wakes. Take a note of the time he begins to make those movements, that is when he is coming into a lighter sleep. At this point you want to be really hands on and help him back into a deeper sleep. This can take 10 minutes or more so don’t rush off. When he has got back down into a deeper sleep you can leave the room. The following day/nap you want to go back into the room a few minutes before you expect him to come into a lighter sleep, be hands on again, pat, shush until he is in a deeper sleep and then leave. As he gets really used to not waking up you can try leaving him and see if he can get through the sleep cycle without any help. It’s not a quick fix, but it is super gentle.

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Be sure to check out Rebecca’s book Sleep And Your Child’s Temperament and don’t miss out on the opportunity to participate in her Sleep Academy here.

If you have a question you would like Rebecca to answer next time, leave a comment.

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small Rebecca Michi121

 

Rebecca is a Children’s Sleep Consultant who has been working with families for over 20 years. She is a gentle sleep consultant who doesn’t believe in leaving your child to cry-it-out when teaching them to fall asleep more independently. She is passionate about helping children and their parents build healthy habits so they can finally get some sleep. By transforming drama into dreamland, her mission is to help your children—and you—get a good night’s sleep.

Ask the Sleep Expert- Rebecca Michi- Mothers, Restless Toddlers, and Newborn Nap Schedules – Sleep In Arm’s Reach

The Leakies with Rebecca Michi
This post made possible by the generous support of Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper

Arms Reach Banner Logo

We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakies to share their current sleep struggles. Here are a few of the responses, followed by Rebecca’s support.

 

Dear Rebecca,

With my first baby my mother came and helped. It was nice to have her but at night she wanted to have the baby in her room to let me get more sleep. I was uncomfortable with it for some reason I still can’t explain but it was nice to get a little more sleep. She would comfort my daughter when she would wake, bounce her, give her the pacifier, change her diaper, and try to get her back down. If that didn’t work, she would bring her to me to feed. Several times a night it did work so I did get more sleep. But it never felt quite right even though I appreciated the sleep. My daughter is a pretty good sleeper and my mom says it is because she taught her to sleep as a newborn.

This time I know she’s going to want to do that again and I’m torn about it. Is this ok to do or are is it potentially causing problems? I’m just not sure.

Thank you for your help,

Conflicted mom-to-be again.

 

Hi Conflicted Mom,

How lovely that you have family who come and stay and help you with your newborn. Don’t worry, your Mom helping at night will not cause any problems. Having said that. Don’t do anything that is making you feel uncomfortable. Maybe have your Mom do this once or twice a week, or after the first week or two. If you’re feeling uncomfortable you probably won’t be able to relax and sleep, always trust your Mommy instinct.

~Rebecca

 

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Dear Rebecca,

Every night around 3am my 2.5 year old wakes up. I try taking her back to her bed but she’ll just cry and cry and I’m so tired I lay back down with her or let her get in bed with us. Sometimes she needs to go potty but not every time and she’s always very confused. If I let her in bed with me she’ll fall asleep and everything is fine but I wake up sore. If I take her back to her room she’ll be up repeatedly for the rest of the night. I don’t want to reject her but I need her to go back to her bed and sleep. How can we gently help her get there?

Sincerely,

3am Zmombie.

 

Hey Zmombie,

I would work on eliminating this wake up, as it is happening at the same time each night it is happening out of habit. That’s a good thing as we can work on breaking habits!

If she’s waking at 3am, you’ll want to set your alarm for 2:20am (sorry), go into your daughter and rouse her from her sleep, you don’t want to wake her, just bring her into a lighter sleep. Put your hands on her and rub her tummy/back until you see her move or make a noise. When you do, stop and creep out the room. She shouldn’t wake at 3am as she is going back down into a deeper sleep. Try this for 3 nights before seeing if she has eliminated the wake up herself. If she wakes as you expected her to you will need to wake her slightly more the following night as she wasn’t quite woken enough.

~Rebecca

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Dear Rebecca,

Naps, how do I get my 10 week old to nap somewhere other than on me? I love babywearing and I love holding my baby but sometimes I just need a break and would like to set him down to rest on my own or take a shower or something. He loves to sleep but only in my arms. At night he sleeps in the cosleeper next to me and I can transfer him pretty well after feeding but nap times during the day are an entirely different matter. It seems like he always wants to sleep during the day but it’s only in little bits here and there because if I try to transfer him he wakes up. I end up feeling stuck sitting there holding him until he wakes. Is there anything we can do or have we already made a bad habit we have to live with?

Trapped under a baby in the midwest.

 

Dear Trapped Momma,

This is very normal behavior for a young infant. I can guarantee that it will certainly not last forever. Sleep will really change at around 12 weeks of age (actually 52 weeks from conception).  At this point I would try for 1 nap a day in a swing or crib, the easiest is the first of the day. Don’t worry if naps are short, that is very normal as naps don’t develop until sometime between 4 and 6 months. In the meantime I would make sure you are swaddling your little one, making sure they aren’t getting overtired, dark room and have white noise playing as you work on a nap. You never know you may be able to pop them down whilst they are sleeping.

~Rebecca

 ____________________

Be sure to check out Rebecca’s book Sleep And Your Child’s Temperament and don’t miss out on the opportunity to participate in her Sleep Academy here.

If you have a question you would like Rebecca to answer next time, leave a comment.

____________________

small Rebecca Michi121

 

Rebecca is a Children’s Sleep Consultant who has been working with families for over 20 years. She is a gentle sleep consultant who doesn’t believe in leaving your child to cry-it-out when teaching them to fall asleep more independently. She is passionate about helping children and their parents build healthy habits so they can finally get some sleep. By transforming drama into dreamland, her mission is to help your children—and you—get a good night’s sleep.

Ask the Sleep Expert- Rebecca Michi- Sleeping Through The Night, Transitioning, and Night Weaning- Sleep In Arm’s Reach

The Leakies with Rebecca Michi
This post made possible by the generous support of Arms Reach Co-Sleeper

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We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakies to share their current sleep struggles. Here are a few of the responses, followed by Rebecca’s support.

 

Dear Rebecca,

Is it normal for a 4-5 year old to not sleep through the night yet? At 4, my son still wakes to come co-sleep with us and my 6 year old also goes through phases where she won’t sleep through the night. Is there anything we can do to help this? I worry because night wakings sometimes affect school. I think this is normal, but my husband doesn’t sleep well when they crowd us. My daughter says she wakes and is too scared to return to sleep alone. How can we make both my son and daughter feel more safe and/or my husband feel more comfortable?

I really appreciate your advice, thank you,

Feeling Crowded

 

HI Feeling Crowded,

We all wake during the night, up to 6 times is quite normal but it is no wonder you’re feeling a little crowded! I would make up beds for them on the floor of your room, don’t make them too comfortable, just a blanket and pillow is fine. When they come in to your room they can sleep on the floor but not in your bed. They may soon realize that their bed is much more comfortable than the floor of your room and want to stay in their own bed.

Hope that helps!

~Rebecca

 

Dear Rebecca,

My 17 month old co sleeps and always has. He lets me leave at night when he’s asleep for the night but I cannot sneak away from him at nap time. What can I do to start having him nap on his own?

Sneakily yours,

Ready To Have Nap Time To Myself

 

Hi Sneakily,

Nap sleep is quite different than night sleep. At the beginning of the night we all get into a deep sleep, this means that you can sneak away after getting him to sleep. He will get into a deep sleep at nap time, but it’s not as deep. Try shifting away after he’s been asleep for 10 minutes. Pop a pillow next to him so he has something to snuggle with. When you do shift away initially stay next to the bed, place your hands on him if you can see he’s coming into a light sleep (moves or makes a noise) jiggle him a little and help him back to a deeper sleep. Don’t rush off when he’s asleep, spend the time helping him remain asleep and he will have an easier time sleeping for longer.

Good luck sneaking away!

~Rebecca

arms reach image

Dear Rebecca,

When is a reasonable time for a baby to stop nursing to sleep? I keep being told that if I give my 9 month old more solids he won’t want to eat at all at night. I feed him all he wants but I try not to push him after he stops showing interest. I don’t mind the night feedings since we co sleep and he takes the breast when he wants at night without waking me much. I have been told we should stop night feedings once a baby has teeth.

Do I need to start weaning him from nursing to sleep by a certain point? I really don’t want to but maybe I’m just trying to hold on to his baby stage.

Nursing to sleep and fine with it,

Holding On

 

Hello Fine With It,

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! He will need to fall asleep independently at some point, maybe before his first sleepover or when he goes off to college and I’m quite sure that he will have been sleeping independently before that!

You don’t need to stop nursing during the night because he has teeth, you don’t need to stop nursing through the night because he’s on solids, you don’t need to stop nursing through the night because someone told you to. You continue to feed during the night until it is no longer working for the both of you. When it’s not working, that is the perfect time to stop.

Enjoy what’s working for you!

~Rebecca


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Be sure to check out Rebecca’s book Sleep And Your Child’s Temperament and don’t miss out on the opportunity to participate in her Sleep Academy here.

If you have a question you would like Rebecca to answer next time, leave a comment.

____________________

small Rebecca Michi121

 

Rebecca is a Children’s Sleep Consultant who has been working with families for over 20 years. She is a gentle sleep consultant who doesn’t believe in leaving your child to cry-it-out when teaching them to fall asleep more independently. She is passionate about helping children and their parents build healthy habits so they can finally get some sleep. By transforming drama into dreamland, her mission is to help your children—and you—get a good night’s sleep.

Ask the Sleep Expert- Rebecca Michi- Night Weaning, Co-sleeping, and Crib Training- Sleep In Arm’s Reach

The Leakies with Rebecca Michi
This post made possible by the generous support of Arms Reach Co-Sleeper

Arms Reach Banner Logo

We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakiaes to share there current sleep struggles. Here are a few of the responses followed by Rebecca’s support.

 

Dear Rebecca

How do I get my almost 2 year old to sleep through the night? She wakes 2-3 times a night to comfort nurse and I’m desperately in need of a fully night’s sleep. I don’t want her to feel rejected but I’m at the end of my rope. She naps once a day for about an hour and a half and our bed time routine is pretty simple (bath, pajamas, brush teeth, story, nurse, sing a few songs, bed). What can I do to gently encourage her to sleep more at night? I’m not ready to fully wean but I have to do something.

Thank you for any help you can give me,

Red eyed and bleary in Missouri

Hi,

Do you have someone who could help during the night? Could your partner help? If so, I suggest you sleep somewhere else for a few nights (if you’re bed sharing) or have your partner go in and help during the night. They need to help the same time you would have done, we don’t want her left upset for any duration of time, and help soothing her any way they can. When night weaning (recommended after 12 months old or older, before then babies often still need nutrition at night), expect strong emotions from your child. Your daughter will be mad, quite mad I imagine, but she is just that, mad and someone is with her the whole time helping her with these emotions. Habits are broken after just 3 nights so it shouldn’t take long for her to not expect a feed during the night.

Wishing You Rest,

Rebecca

 

Dear Rebecca,

My question is about a safe sleep space. My son is 3 months and growing out of his bassinet but I’m not at all ready to put him in his crib in the nursery, I want to keep him near me. What are my options? He’s pretty big, in the 98th percentile. I don’t have space to move the crib into my room and I’d like to cosleep but I’m not sure it is safe for us to bed share as my wife is a heavy sleeper and we have a queen bed. Should we get a king sized bed? Is there a cosleeper option for bigger babies?

Deeply grateful,

Craving Cozy

HI,

Take a look at a co-sleeper Arms Reach co-sleepers, they attach your bed, and are the same height as your bed. Your child is sleeping right next to you, but in a separate sleep space, this would be the safest option for you with a smaller bed and a heavy sleeping partner.

Happy Co-Sleeping,

Rebecca

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Dear Rebecca,

Our 1 year old sleeps for a max 15 mins in his crib. if he’s in bed with us we get an hour or 2, if we’re lucky we may get 4 hours. . Any little movement he does wakes him up and he can’t get back to sleep unless he’s nursing. I’m exhausted during the day and can barely keep up.

Something has to change.

Overly Exhausted mom of 2 + a pup.

Hi,

Make sure he has plenty of playtime in his crib each day, he needs  to be comfortable in his crib when awake to be able to sleep there comfortably.

Compare the mattresses, if they are different and I bet they are, try making the crib mattress more like yours. Some crib mattresses have a softer toddler side, you can also buy mattress toppers for crib mattresses. Some families put a quilt or blanket on top of the mattress but under the sheet to make the mattress more comfortable.

Making these changes to the crib can make the world of difference, if you are still struggling with wake ups during the night, you may want to take a look at some gentle sleep training techniques.

Best Wishes,

Rebecca

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Be sure to check out Rebecca’s book Sleep And Your Child’s Temperament and don’t miss out on the opportunity to participate in her Sleep Academy here.

If you have a question you would like Rebecca to answer next time, leave a comment.

____________________

small Rebecca Michi121

 

Rebecca is a Children’s Sleep Consultant who has been working with families for over 20 years. She is a gentle sleep consultant who doesn’t believe in leaving your child to cry-it-out when teaching them to fall asleep more independently. She is passionate about helping children and their parents build healthy habits so they can finally get some sleep. By transforming drama into dreamland, her mission is to help your children—and you—get a good night’s sleep.

Our Secrets For More Sleep… Or Just Commiserating On Wanting More

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Hey there sleepyhead!  Feeling drained (literally) and lacking in sleep?  Welcome to parenthood! Of course this is when the chorus chimes in with “but they are totally worth it!”.  Yeah, ok yes, we get that but you know whats nice..not being so tired that you begin to question all the great mysteries of life and you sanity along with them.  Sleep is necessary, its important, and especially for a breastfeeding Momma and her partner for that matter.  In this edition of our weekly newsletter we are talking about sleep and how you can get more, without sacrificing your breastfeeding relationship. Have a great week Leakies!
-TLB Team
 

Hey Leakies!

Tired? You’re not alone. Not at all. In fact, studies shown that 4 months isn’t enough to recover from the fatigue that comes from having a new baby.

Lots and lots of parents are tired.

It is possible that it’s that your balance is off and it is something that nutrition and exercise could help with, or maybe it is even more serious and you need to see your health care provider for more information, or possibly it is depression and you need to speak to someone about your emotional and mental health, or maybe you’re like me- a night owl parent trying to function in an early bird world

 

This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com

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Ask the Sleep Expert- Rebecca Michi- 4 month olds, 3 year olds, and Partners- Sleep In Arm’s Reach

The Leakies with Rebecca Michi

This post made possible by the generous support of Arms Reach Co-Sleeper

Arms Reach Banner Logo

We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakiaes to share there current sleep struggles. Here are a few of the responses followed by Rebecca’s support.

Dear Rebecca,

Help! I have a 10 week old and a 3 year old. The 10 week old sleeps pretty well, considering, but it is the 3 year old that is pushing me over the edge. The baby sleeps in a cosleeper next to me and my son sleeps in his own room but usually joins us in our bed in the very early morning. I’m fine with that, I like the extra snuggles then. What is getting to be too much is our bedtime routine. It is pretty straight forward; bath, pajamas, brush teeth, read a story, go potty, lights out, sing a few songs while I rub is back… and we should be done. Except we’re not. He won’t fall asleep without someone sitting there and what he really wants is me to lay there with him. It can take him an hour and a half to go to sleep! In that time I usually need to feed the baby and he’ll come out looking for me when I go get her. My partner isn’t home most bedtimes so I’m on my own. I’m getting so overwhelmed and frustrated that the other night I yelled at him to stay in bed and he ended up falling asleep crying. I feel horrible, that is not how I want to parent. How do I get him to stay in bed without needing me right by him for 90 minutes? I’m so tired by the time I leave his room, I struggle with picking up the house and getting the dishes done. Is there anything I can do to help him settle quicker?

Sleepily yours,

Grumpy and tired mommy of 2 in Idaho

Dear Grumpy,

It should take us between 10 and 20 minutes to fall asleep, if it’s taking longer than that chances are he’s not tired enough. I’m not sure how long her is napping during the day, but it does look like he is getting ready to drop his nap. I would start by reducing the nap down a little (maybe 15 or 20 minutes), that will probably mean that you need to wake him from his nap. Give it a week and then see what impact it has on the beginning of the night. You can continue to reduce down as you need to.

It’s okay for you to be in the room at the beginning of the night as he falls asleep if it’s not taking you so long, his whole world was turned upside down with the birth of his sibling less that 3 months ago, so give him the support he needs at the beginning of the night.

 

Dear Rebecca,

My husband seems to think we’ve spoiled our 4 month old by not leaving her to cry at bedtime and when she wakes. He thinks that the night wakings (usually 3 times a night) are out of hand. I’m actually ok with it, though I am tired, but I expected to be tired with a baby. The thing is his mother is telling him that our daughter should be sleeping through the night from 7 to 7. It doesn’t help that his sister has a 6 month old that has a baby that has loved sleep from the get-go and is happily sleeping 10 hours a night according to her. He thinks we need to sleep train her and that it is ok to let her cry. I don’t and feel that her sleeping patterns are normal for her age. Is there some kind of happy middle ground I can suggest?

Thank you,

Searching for middle ground in Georgia

Dear Searching,

At 12 weeks 70% of babies are sleeping for less than a 6 hour stretch. Waking 3 times at night at 4 months old is perfectly normal. I would not advise you leave your little one to cry-it-out. She is still so tiny and new and is only just beginning to understand that she is separate from you. Her tummy is also tiny, she will wake out of hunger during the night.

It’s awesome that your sister-in-law has a little one that sleeps through the night, most don’t, she is certainly one of a few.

Hang in there, sleep will change and those stretches of sleep will get longer and longer.

Rebecca Michi normal sleep 4 month old Arms Reach 01.16

Dear Rebecca,

My wife is an excellent mother but she puts a lot of pressure on herself to do everything. I work long hours and want to take on the parenting responsibilities I can when I’m home, even if they are in the middle of the night. She’s breastfeeding our 2 month old son, which I fully support, and it is going well. However, I’d like to help more at night, in part so she can get a break and have more sleep, and in part because I selfishly want to have some time caring for our son as well. Unfortunately, with breastfeeding she says there is nothing for me to do, he just wants the boob. Are there ways I can help with sleep and nighttime routines that won’t interrupt breastfeeding? I know she doesn’t want to pump but our son does wake frequently and I want to be able to help. He is sleeping in a bassinet by our bed so she can reach him easily. I know it sounds selfish but I just want to be involved and I don’t feel very needed in caring for our son at the moment. Any ideas?

I appreciate your help,

Daddy just wants to help

Dear Daddy,

There is plenty you can do to help with sleep. How about you do the getting ready for bed routine and your wife does the feeding to sleep? The night routine can be around 30 minutes long before a feed, that can include a bath, massage, diaper, pj’s, walk around and then the hand off to Mom. Chances are at this age your little one will fall asleep whilst nursing at the beginning of the night and during the night and that isn’t something you can get too involved with. You can give him a diaper change during the night, give him a quick snuggle before you pop him into the bassinet, get your wife a fresh glass of water and of course be ready to help if she does struggle to get him back to sleep.

Sleep is going to change so much over the next few months and I’m quite sure that you will be able to help more and more during the night.

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Be sure to check out Rebecca’s book Sleep And Your Child’s Temperament and don’t miss out on the opportunity to participate in her Sleep Academy here.

If you have a question you would like Rebecca to answer next time, leave a comment.

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small Rebecca Michi121

 

Rebecca is a Children’s Sleep Consultant who has been working with families for over 20 years. She is a gentle sleep consultant who doesn’t believe in leaving your child to cry-it-out when teaching them to fall asleep more independently. She is passionate about helping children and their parents build healthy habits so they can finally get some sleep. By transforming drama into dreamland, her mission is to help your children—and you—get a good night’s sleep.

Rest Well- Sleep Support For You and Your Child From Sleep Consultant Rebecca Michi

The Leakies with Rebecca Michi

sleep consultant Rebecca Michi

We asked sleep consultant Rebecca Michi to come help us all get some more sleep and we asked the Leakies to share there current sleep struggles. Here are a few of the responses followed by Rebecca’s support.

 

Chris: My 20 month old has an average 7 hour window of awake time after she wakes from her nap- this is killing me when she doesnt go down for nap til 1:15-2 and then sleeps til 3:00! I can’t stand a 10pm bedtime!! What should I do? should I drop the afternoon nap? My mom said I stopped napping all together at age 2. Worried we are headed this way as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

Rebecca: I would work on gradually reducing down the nap. Have her wake at 2:45pm for a week and see how that impacts your nights. You can then reduce down another 15 minutes for a week. You should be able to find the perfect nap length, though it may be that she is ready to drop the nap.

Take a little look at your night routine, you want it to be between 30 and 45 minutes long, nice and consistent, same thing in the same place in the same order. Take a look at the environment as well, nice and dark (through the whole night), no energy saving light bulbs in the sleep space and no screen time an hour before bed

 

Courtney: Naps! How can I get my 15 month old to take a nap without getting nursed to sleep. He’s not one of these “drowsy but awake” kind of kids, you can’t rock him because he squirms and won’t settle. I just want to get to the point where I can put him in his crib and he falls asleep on his own. Wishful thinking? We also nurse to sleep for bedtime and when he wakes in the night.

Rebecca: You will need to teach him the skills to get himself to sleep. I suggest some gentle sleep training. When you are gently teaching sleep skills you are always with your child and you can pick them up and soothe them. Take a look at The Baby Whisperer book, Kim Wests book and my book. We all have our own sleep training techniques that are more gentle and hands on. Find a technique you like and stick with it. It’s actually easier to work on nights first, you can work with naps first, but it will be more of a challenge.

 

CarolineMy 7.5 month old never naps (ok maybe twice) longer than 70 min Is there a way to get her to nap longer? When she was younger than 3 months or so she only ever napped being worn and she would nap longer but in her crib she maxes out around 75 min. We would love it if she took longer naps – is this just what she needs? 3 30 -75 min naps (first two usually lose to an hour but the last one of the day frequently only 35 min or so)

Rebecca: How long is she awake between naps? Try aiming for the 2-3-4 routine (awake for 2 hours, nap, awake for 3 hours, nap, awake for 4 hours, down for the night. With 3 hours of nap you have a 12 hour day). Changing to this schedule should help those naps stretch out a little. Have your nap routine within your awake period, so you want to be actively working on getting to sleep at the 2 hour point and the 3 hour point. The last awake period can be a little longer, we have a longer routine so it can be longer than 4 hours. If she has had shorter naps you can have a catnap in the 4 hour stretch, this nap just needs to be long enough to keep her going until bedtime.

 

Cailyn: My 7 month old doesn’t nap in her crib. If I put her down she either wakes up immediately or within 5 minutes. We are currently doing cuddle naps, but would like to get her napping in her crib. She sleeps fine in her crib a night, provided she has napped well in the day. We have been using a lovey to try and get her to associate it with sleep time, and not the cuddling, but so far that hasn’t made a difference. Do we just have to keep trying to put her in her crib for naps, knowing that if she doesn’t nap for long her night time sleep may not be good?

Rebecca: It’s not unusual for children to sleep very differently for naps and night sleep, the reason behind this is due to day sleep (naps) and night sleep being managed by different areas of the brain. Make sure she has plenty of playtime in the crib each day, she needs to be comfortable with the space to nap in the space, this comes with play. When you do work on having her sleep in the crib you will probably notice that the naps get short, this is very normal, naps do reduce in length as we make changes to them. The naps should begin to lengthen out but themselves, but it may take a week or more for them to lengthen out. As we don’t want nights to be too impacted I would suggest having and emergency nap towards the end of the day. Maybe run some errands so she can fall asleep in the car or go for a walk so she can nap in the stroller or carrier, this way she can catch up on a little lost sleep, but you are not going going back to doing those cuddle naps.

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Be sure to check out Rebecca’s book Sleep And Your Child’s Temperament and don’t miss out on the scholarship opportunity to participate in her Sleep Academy LIVE, here.

If you have a question you would like Rebecca to answer next time, please use this form to submit your inquiry.

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small Rebecca Michi121 Rebecca is a Children’s Sleep Consultant who has been working with families for over 20 years. She is a gentle sleep consultant who doesn’t believe in leaving your child to cry-it-out when teaching them to fall asleep more independently. She is passionate about helping children and their parents build healthy habits so they can finally get some sleep. By transforming drama into dreamland, her mission is to help your children—and you—get a good night’s sleep.

Sleep dreams

This post made possible by the generous support of Arm’s Reach Concepts.

by Jessica Martin-Weber

To sleep or not to sleep, the question babies and little children everywhere wrestle with on a regular basis and parents pray will be answered with “to sleep.”  Sleep like a baby sometimes sounds like an oxymoron when it seems like your baby won’t sleep.  But sometimes it isn’t to sleep or not to sleep but rather, where to sleep.  The Leakies joined me in sharing pictures of where and how they have found their little ones sleeping.  Two of the funniest threads we’ve had on The Leaky Boob Facebook page were the result and an image collection of baby and little kid sleeping gold.  We couldn’t fit even all of our favorites here so be sure to head over to beyondmoi.com for more totally adorable and hilarious moments of sleep with little ones.  It could be one of the few times you will find yourself laughing about sleep as a parent.

Whatever you do, don’t lay down!  The couch is there for support, I’m just resting my eyes mid bounce…

sleeping standing on couch

I was going to go run but then this happened…

sleeping waiting for mom to be ready to go

sleeping standing back against couch

sleeping standing against the couch

I’m not sleepy, my head just got heavy…

sleeping standing against couch grouch need a nap now

sleeping standing against couch

It wasn’t that I was sleepy, it’s that the entertainment was boring…

sleeping sitting with sippy on couch

sleeping sitting nude

Wait, what just happened, I was in the middle of something important…

sleeping like daddy

sleeping on the toilet

sleeping on chair with balloon

It is important to keep your best friend company…

sleeping on the dog

sleeping propped against dog and eating chips

sleeping on dog as pillow

sleeping cuddling dog

Just getting into character…

Batgirl

This wasn’t exactly my plan…

sleeping between couch and stool

sleeping on couch and stool

sleeping outside on back pourch

Don’t worry, I’m on top of things…

sleeping on top shelf in closet

sleeping on the coffee table

sleeping on table dreaming of bike

sleeping on play table

sleeping on diaper bin

And under things…

sleeping under the table

sleeping under the coffee table

sleeping under the bed up to no good

sleeping under stacked chairs at church

sleeping under dog bed mom checked to be sure she could breathe

Look closely… find the toes…

sleeping under and between the couch and chair

sleeping under a trampoline

sleeping under a book

sleeping in the entertainment stand

sleeping burrowed under blankets

And in things…

sleeping inside a box

sleeping in the swing

sleeping in the laundry basket

sleeping in the bath

sleeping in play house

sleeping in mesh laundry hamper

sleeping in LL Bean tote

sleeping in laundry hamper trio

sleeping in green laundry basket

sleeping in glass bowl

sleeping in dresser drawer

sleeping in a laundry hamper 2

sleeping in a drawer

sleeping in a diaper box

And out…

sleeping sitting in snow

sleeping bundled up outside in chair

sleeping face against table

It’s always better with someone else…

sleeping twins in tub

sleeping twins outside

And if you think I’m cute when I’m sleeping, you should see when I wake up!

good morning cosleeper

This guy was too cute on the Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Instagram feed.

Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper Giveaway

TLB is excited to bring you this giveaway from new sponsor Arm’s Reach®.  A struggle that is common to most new parents is what to do in regards to their baby’s sleep needs.  Arm’s Reach® CO-SLEEPER® may be a part of the solution for you.  This giveaway is an opportunity for you to get better acquainted with them and your chance to enter to win one of their adorable bassinets.  Arm’s Reach is also sponsoring our series on night weaning.  Check them out over here!  Let’s start with a bit of general information about Arm’s Reach and then owner, Sharon, will answer a few questions for us. 

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The Arm’s Reach® CO-SLEEPER® comes in a wide variety of styles, fashions, and sizes. Some features include: co-sleeping mode, bassinet mode, and, in select products, a play yard mode.  The product line has something for everyone – whether you have a preference for a particular style, or have limited space requirements, Arm’s Reach has a Co-Sleeper® for you. We are also proud to offer a high-quality line of Organic accessories. The Arm’s Reach® CO-SLEEPER® is widely distributed throughout the U.S., and is even available in many countries around the world. Our patented CO-SLEEPER® technology is highly recommended by leading experts: James J. McKenna Ph.D. (author & Director of the Mother-Child Sleep Lab at the Notre Dame University), and Dr. William Sears (renown Pediatrician and author of 40+ books on infant care that are translated to over 40 languages around the world).

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You can sleep better knowing your infant is in arm’s reach.

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TLB:  What inspired you to start Arm’s Reach?

Sharon:  As parents, we wanted to experience the bonding and ease of feeding but were concerned for the safety of the baby. We realized that there was a way to still have both, the Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper® was born out of that belief. It allows the best of the two worlds – safe co-sleeping and easy breastfeeding!

TLB:  What would you like TLB readers to know about Arm’s Reach?

Sharon:  The safety and welfare of babies is our utmost concern here at ARC. We would like to have all Mothers and Babies have a positive, and safe, co-sleeping and breastfeeding experience while they use our Co-Sleeper® products.  Our goal is to improve our society, one Co-Sleeper at a time.

TLB:  What is your favorite part of co-sleeping?

Sharon:  For 9+ months you carry your baby and you feel safe knowing that your baby is with you at all times.  Then they are born. Co-Sleeping gave the peace of mind that our baby was right next to us and still safe and it sure made those nighttime feedings much easier and more enjoyable

TLB:  Share how sleeping near their baby can help moms reach their breastfeeding goals.

Sharon:  Research had shown that when Mother and Baby sleep in such close proximity their bodies tend to sync with one another. Breastfeeding becomes stressless. Mom is right next to her baby,  tending to their feeding needs becomes second nature. It makes breastfeeding at night a more satisfying experience .

5161-TS Bas

Sharon is giving away a Mini Arc Co-Sleeper® Bassinet to 1 lucky Leakie.
Retail Value: $179.99

5161-TS CoS 5161-TS Mesh Highlight

Currently Leakies can find this and other Co-Sleeping items in the Arm’s Reach Concepts website.

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Good luck to everyone!  Please use the widget below to be entered.  The giveaway is open from August 28, 2013 through September 4, 2013 .  A big thanks to Sharon and Arm’s Reach Concepts for their ongoing support of TLB and all breastfeeding women; please be sure to visit their Facebook page  or follow them on twitter (@cosleep on Twitter) and thank them for their support of TLB and this giveaway opportunity.

This giveaway is restricted to U.S. residents only.

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