Served Fresh Daily.
Our family has a little treat to share, hope you enjoy, we sure did!
by Nancy Massotto, Ph.D
Parenthood is often the threshold we cross that brings us into a greater awareness of healthy and sustainability. As an expectant or new mom, we start to investigate the benefits and risks of all of our parenting decisions and consider how our choices impact our children and the future. When you’re new to breastfeeding, your focus is on the mechanics of milk production and latch. You have questions about how to solve problems like thrush or what pump to buy. Once you have settled into a pattern, we tend to settle into a routine. But then what? How do you continue to advocate for breastfeeding after your children are weaned?
When you bring home a newborn it seems like you’ll never have a child in junior high, but that day comes sooner than you realize, and slowly, over the years, our focus as moms changes from diapers and starting solid foods and breastfeeding to PTA meetings and whether our kids really need a cell phone. But, to really change how our babies are fed, we can’t leave the important issues, like breastfeeding, behind.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how to do more than just say we’re advocates and actually be activists lately. Not everyone is willing or able to march in Washington, DC but the simple actions that we take are, indeed, activist and contribute to change – or not. Apathy and a lack of participation is one of our culture’s greatest dangers. At HMN, we fight hard against both of these challenges.
For example, our Holistic Moms Conference had to change locations due to a labor dispute that was affecting low-wage working moms, and the struggle to promote the new location, explain why it’s so important to meet face-to-face with other moms and answer questions has been taking up all my time.
Supporting our event is critical for the future of our 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and yet getting people committed to making change is an uphill battle. Many people are too busy to stand up and make a difference, even in something small like supporting a cause or event. It made me realize that it’s easy to lose sight of what activism really is, and how important it is to keep breastfeeding, holistic living, and other important issues front and center with our kids.
Whether you have a nursling or a grandchild, we all need to “do” something to promote breastfeeding as the normal way to feed human babies and not just claim to be breastfeeding supporters. How do you do that? For many of us, we support nursing moms when we run into one at the mall or when a friend gets pregnant and we have the opportunity to offer support and encourage her. But, we don’t feed that passion for breastfeeding on an every day basis.
I’ve spent years researching and promoting real-life interaction and community-building for mothers. Numerous studies show that online communities are fantastic but they are not the same as looking someone in the eye and feeling their empathy when you are having a rough day. We all need to feel accepted, empowered and loved in a way that only a face-to-face encounter can provide.
The bottom line is that we need mom-to-mom interactions and community in our real life. That’s why I founded Holistic Moms Network. Whether you’re a holistic mom or a mainstream mom or a mom who wants to hang with other moms who are young, enjoy opera music, or are otherwise unique, the important thing is that you need to do it. You need to feed yourself, your passions, and the motherhood movement by being a participant, not by being a bystander or sidelines cheerleader.
Sure, for many of us it sounds like another thing to put on the calendar or another thing to take time away from family or sleep. But, connecting with others revitalizes you, makes you feel better about yourself as a woman and a mom, and gives resources you didn’t have before.
In the case of La Leche League or Holistic Moms or another natural parenting group, you also show your kids that you are passionate about breastfeeding, that you help other moms breastfeed long after you stop breastfeeding your own children, and that you care deeply about how babies are fed and raised. You empower your daughters to find a tribe when they are new mothers and not give up on their goals. You show your sons how to support their breastfeeding partners and they grow up knowing it’s important. And, along the way, you form deep friendships that can grow with you as your children grow.
Of course, I’m partial to our upcoming Natural Living Conference and believe it is an amazing way to show support, fill your cup, and feel connected. It is a fabulous opportunity to meet eco-celebrities and companies that you may talk to on Twitter but never get to interact with in person. Imagine how life changing it can be to spend a whole day surrounded by people who understand your passions and support your views? It doesn’t matter how green/holistic you are – HMN is about the journey to more natural lifestyle, the challenges we each face, and supporting one another along the way. The whole point of our organization is not to judge other parents but to empower all of us as a community to research and make educated choices. Being a participant is a gift to you, to others, and to the entire community.
Show your children that you care enough about something to show up, to be there, and to be open to learning, growing, and connecting!
For a chance to go to the Natural Living Conference for free, check out this giveaway.
Holistic Parenting Expert and Executive Director of the Holistic Moms Network, Dr. Nancy Massotto, Ph.D is a dedicated advocate for holistic medicine and green living. She is the mother of two boys, both born at home. Before embarking on her journey into motherhood, Dr. Massotto earned her Ph.D. in political science from the University of Maryland, specializing in gender studies, women’s issues, and international affairs. She also holds Master’s degrees from George Washington University, Elliot School of International Affairs, and the University of Maryland. Dr. Massotto has lectured at several universities on gender studies, international relations, and women’s issues, including at American University and George Washington University. She conducted research on women’s issues while working for non-profit research institutes and organizations in the Washington, D.C. area, including the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) and the Women’s Research and Education Institute (WREI), authoring and co-authoring publications during her tenure. 
*I really need to get my regular camera working…
Even before I became a mother I had moments where I thought it would be kind of handy if I could clone myself. When I had kids I really started thinking somebody should be looking into that idea because moms would be a built in market. But this week? Woah. I don’t just need clones, I need a whole staff. This whole work at home thing kind of means kids make gargantuan messes while mom pretends not to notice. Or is that just at my house?
As my kids were destroying the house today and Smunchie discovered she could pull all the books off the book shelves as well as empty the baskets of DVDs and VHS (yes, we still have VHS, I know, I know) all over the floor, I was doing all kinds of fun things. I tackled emails, forum registration approvals, read some articles where my name and/or TLB was mentioned, talked to Sheri (multiply this by 9 and disperse throughout day), did a couple of pre-interview phone calls, burnt a loaf of bread, listened to a pitch idea from a photographer friend of mine (I like the idea), wrote a letter to Facebook (more on that later), read more articles and a few blogs, popped in and out of Facebook and Twitter from time to time, drafted out a few blog post thoughts before I forgot them, made the worst beef soup ever, spent a bit of time playing outside with my girls and had my neighbor come up to me and say “I support boobies.” That last thing there really made my day. I’m serious, he’s a grandpa and he supports boobies, he even clarified that he supported breastfeeding, after he made a joke that is. Which I laughed at because it was funny.
Somewhere in there we even had our Epiphany celebration: chocolate coins found in shoes along with rock crayons, face pencils, a box of maple teething biscuits, and then sitting down to a homemade King’s Cake (courtesy of The Piano Man) to find the Baby Jesus (a raw red kidney bean) and crown the lucky girl who found him (the bean) queen for the day.
Now that the girls are all in bed I sit here with a glass of wine, chunks of the inside of the blackened loaf of bread, and a bit of cheese looking at a to-do list that got longer instead of shorter, a collection of media stories that is more than a little overwhelming, trying to ignore the video tapes all over the floor and feeling guilty that I haven’t called my mom in 5 days. Tonight my biggest goal is to finish writing at least one piece not including this one.
Tomorrow (today by the time this is published) is another busy day. Aside from picking up DVDs and books multiple times there are pictures (say CHEESE!), an interview on camera at the park, home, feed kids, emails and website work, Facebook, podcast phone interview with the lovely Tanya from Motherlove Blog, and then I think I’ll be closing my computer for the evening to play a game with my family and watch Grey’s Anatomy with The Piano Man on Hulu.
While the media coverage has been overwhelming, the fast paced growth of the now reinstated Facebook page (which has been up for 36 hours now) has blown me away, and the incredible supportive help of many has humbled and touched me, it has been the comments shared by new Leakies that have energized me, reminding me of why I’m doing this. These comments speak to the need for places like The Leaky B@@b on Facebook and why Facebook needs to change their method of responding to flagged and reported posts and pages with obscene content. I leave with a few of these comments.
“As someone who is 9 months pregnant and planning on breast feeding- I love that this is here for us- I have to say I have NO experience breast feeding and honestly, being able to see the different ways babies “latch” is important! I recently got a breast pump- and the instructions were censored, the drawing of the wome…n have their hands in front of of their nipples in every single example, I am still not really sure how to use the pump and exactly what part of my nipple goes where because they censored the instructions! Thank you for a safe place like here to ask questions and see tasteful, non- sexual pictures of real women breast feeding real babies- it gives me hope that I can do it myself and that I will in fact figure it all out!”
“You have come to the right place! Although I just joined these wonderful ladies, I can’t explain how valuable it is to have such a community to come to. I have 4 children, two were formula fed simply because I knew NOTHING about breastfeeding, and had very little support (my mom encouraged me, but FF me, so really had to clue how to help). When I was pregnant with my 3rd I learned everything I could, and successfully nursed for 17 months. Now, we have our 4th, and she is a champion nurser. Education can make all the difference, so you are on the right track! Congrats mama!”
“I am tearing up right now… I just posted days ago that I need more moms in my life. I found you all at the perfect time. I thank you from my heart & soul. ♥ looking fwd to helping others & receiving help as well. Big hugs to all!”
“I’m so glad this page is allowed to stay up..this is my first time breastfeeding..I couldn’t with my first daughter..so any knowledge I can get is very helpful”
“I AM SOOOOOOO GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK!!!!!! I actually cried when i got on to check in and the Leaky B@@b was gone! Thank you to all the Leakies for all their support! I would not still be breastfeeding if it wasn’t for you guys!!!!!:)”
“Hey y’all! I wish I’d known about this page when I was BFing my son! Sad I’m just finding it now! At least I’ll have it for next time!” (This Leakie also shared a link to her own blog post on this, I enjoyed it, made me laugh.)
This is why I do it.
Has TLB meant something special to you? How do you carve time out of your day to visit the FB page and ask questions and give support to others? Anyone else’s baby/toddler obsessed with pulling out the DVDs and clearing the bookshelves?
I have 5 children. Five girls. Yes, five. Yes, they are all girls. Yes we have certainly figured out what causes “that” and I have to say we’re pretty dang good at it. Obviously.
I want many things for my 5 girls when they grow up. In fact, I hope they have leaky boobs themselves one day. I know they may not, for whatever reason but it will not be because they think it is weird or gross or anything else other than normal. As their mother I’m doing everything in my power to hold breast-feeding up as normal and so far, it is working. Last summer I learned that my children didn’t even know what formula was.
“Mommy, why is she giving her baby a bottle? Are her boobies broken?” 6 years old Lolie asked loudly, much to my embarrassment.
I didn’t know the woman in question, she was a stranger feeding her baby at the park.
“Maybe it isn’t her baby and she doesn’t have milk in her boobs yet.” Earth Baby, at 10 years old, was trying to explain before I could jump in to quiet the conversation.
Breast-feeding is important enough that I didn’t want the conversation to halt but I could tell the woman and others at the playground could hear us and I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Talking softly I encouraged them to lower their voices but immediately regretted it when Lolie asked if talking about nursing was bad. After a short pause I returned my voice to a normal speaking volume, telling the girls there was nothing wrong with talking about breast-feeding. I did explain that I didn’t want to say anything that would make the woman feeding the baby a bottle to feel bad. The conversation that followed continued at a respectful volume level, thankfully.
We discussed the possible reasons why a woman would be giving a baby a bottle instead of her breast. They were immediately sympathetic that perhaps her breasts were, in fact, broken and not able to produce enough milk. It was reasonable to them that maybe this woman was a babysitter, perhaps an aunt or friend and the mom was at work and had left a bottle of pumped milk. Or that the baby was adopted and could be drinking formula because there was nobody to give him breast-milk. This idea was very sad and after I explained what formula was they wondered for a bit as to what could have happened to the biological mother and why there was nobody to donate breast-milk. That conversation gave them a great idea, since I was no longer donating my breast-milk to one of the 3 babies I had been helping to supply they insisted I go up to the woman and offer to nurse the baby or at least give her some pumped milk. Pointing out that I was actually ok not donating any more and that I didn’t know this family or that they would be interested I begged my way out of that potentially awkward situation. But it was my suggestion that maybe that mom never wanted to nurse and was choosing to give formula that got the strongest reaction. I reminded them a few times to lower their voices but by then a distraught Storyteller couldn’t help herself and loudly argued that “every baby should get to have their mommy’s warm sweet milk if they can!” At 8 years old she was already a breast-feeding advocate. I admitted she had a point.
The conversation ended shortly after that outburst and the girls moved on to playing. I noticed a short while later that The Storyteller was assisting Squiggle Bug off the slide and walking her towards me saying, a bit too loudly, “You want to nurse? You want sweet mommy milk? Ok, I’ll take you to mommy so you can have your special boobies. You’re a lucky baby to get to nurse instead of having yucky formula.” No, not passive aggressive at all.
I started out to write a piece about sharing breast-feeding with older children and ended up with this. Breast-feeding, in any amount, is worth encouraging and showing children as normal. In the recent Old Country Buffet incident a breast-feeding mother was told “this is a family friendly restaurant” as though breast-feeding isn’t family friendly. I beg to differ and so would my children. It is about as family friendly as one can get and the more families see it happening the healthier we, our children and our future grandchildren will be.
A year later, I realized just this morning how normal feeding a baby from my breast is for my daughters. I was pumping and Earth Baby asked: “Are you going to nurse her a bottle?” Anything other than nursing just seems strange. I love that.
