TLB Comic: Leaky Trouble
August 14, 2015 by Leave a Comment
What I Want My Daughters To Know About Motherhood- Feeding Babies
July 15, 2015 by 48 Comments
by Jessica Martin-Weber
Recently I was reflecting on why I started Milk: An Infant Feeding Conference and I thought back on my different feeding journeys with my daughters, looking back and wishing there were things I knew when I first started out that I know now. I considered writing a post to my young self but then I realized that the ones I really want to know now what I wish I knew then about infant feeding are my daughters. Before they embark on their own motherhood journey, before they begin feeding their own babies (yes, I’m assuming that out of 6 girls at least one of them will have children and I will get to be a grandparent), there are so many things I want them to know, I could write a book and not just on infant feeding. Respecting that their journey will be their own, not some version or extension of mine, what I want to share isn’t a how to nor is it a manual, it is more just… my heart. Why am I starting an infant feeding conference? My daughters are why.
Dear Daughter,
From time to time I reflect on the days when you were new to the world, newer than you are now, which is still pretty new. Those days when you were tiny and fit snuggled on my chest with your arms and legs tucked under you, my hand supporting your little bum. I think about the smell of your head, the feel of your skin, the depth of your eyes. I smile as I remember arguing with your father and sometimes others that it wasn’t gas, you were actually really smiling in your sleep. Like precious family heirlooms, from time to time I reverently unpack the memories of your daddy gently swinging you on his arm during fussy periods of the day, how one of your big sisters would interact with you, the way you calmed when I held you, the seriousness with which you would watch light dancing on the wall, and other fragments of the time when you were the smallest big thing in my world.
Some of those cherished mental keepsakes have little barbs on them. They sting when I unpack them, no matter how careful I am. How you were taken away from me just after I had the first chance to hold you because I was hemorrhaging, the time I screwed up and dropped you due to careless use of an infant carrier (Oh sweetie, I tried to call Child Protective Services on myself), hours and hours of screaming that nothing would soothe and the obvious pain you were in (heads up, colic is hell), the stint in the hospital with RSV, and so many more. I could keep these painful memories locked up and forgotten but I don’t, though I don’t linger over them too long, they are an important part of the story we share.
A good number of those treasured memories so carefully packed in my mind are around feeding you. You, as babies do, ate often. Satiated is but a temporary state of being and babies stay there only for brief moment of visitation. Some of these memory gems are truly sublime, shining moments that reflect the light of my love, your beauty, and our connection in sparkling bursts of color from ever angel and with every turn. Some of them are more like clunky chunks of rough rock, the weight and texture of which can make me raw. There is beauty there, beauty only appreciated when the whole topography is viewed. I cherish them all.
My baby feeding story journey isn’t isolated to just feeding you. All 6 of my children have impacted me and feeding each of them has had a hand in shaping me as a mother and directly impacting how I parented. And so, there are a few things I really want you to know about feeding babies. This won’t give you everything you need to know but these, my strong, intelligent, and courageous daughter, are the things what I want you to know from my heart about feeding babies and I hope sharing this now feeds you in a new way.
Feeding is important. Very important. Feeding our babies is the most basic, most essential, most immediate, and most elemental aspect of parenting. It can be said, without fail, that not feeding your baby is parenting failure. Neglect. Abuse. This may seem obvious and it is, but it is also important in ways you wouldn’t first see. In my experience, how our children come to us is a journey that shapes us much like rushing water can shape rock. Babies aren’t the only ones birthed, mothers are birthed through the arrival of their children into their lives. Likewise, how we feed our babies can lay a foundation for how we parent. Feeding can shore up our confidence as parents and it can tear it down.
But not that important. For as deeply as it can impact us, you’ll feed your babies so many times each day that it can become mundane. That’s ok. You don’t have to experience each moment feeding your baby as a super special time of bonding. That would be like expecting every meal with your significant other to be a candlelight dinner that you poured yourself into preparing and spent looking deeply into each other’s eyes. In the end, as long as the feeding happens, the important part is done. And because it has to be done so frequently, letting go of expectations as to how it happens can be freeing to enjoy each experience as much as possible without the stress.
You matter too. Before baby comes, everyone is all about the mother-to-be. After baby comes, everyone is all about the baby and the mom is little more than the easel holding up the masterpiece. With that comes all the opinions on how to care for, and certainly how to feed, the masterpiece. But you matter too. According to many, you’ll be doing it wrong. Even those who support the method you are using will find ways to tell you are doing it wrong. Everything is subject to such “support” when it comes to feeding your baby. Bottle feeding? You’re holding that bottle wrong, using the wrong bottle, giving a bottle at all… all wrong. Breastfeeding? You’re using the wrong position, the wrong pillows, the wrong place, the wrong timing, doing it at all… all wrong. Pumping? You’re using the wrong pump, the wrong setting, the wrong method, doing it at all… all wrong. With everyone focused on the adorable masterpiece, they will want to “help” you care for it “right.” In the process, some will forget about caring for you. Mothering may change how you see your body and how you feel about it, aspects you may not love may be the most wonderful to your child. Mothering will change your heart and how you feel about it, aspects you may not love about yourself may be the most wonderful to your child. Take care of you, your children will need you to, they need and love you. It may feel selfish but taking care of you is important in taking care of your baby. You matter. Find those that can genuinely support you and your goals in caring for your baby. Those who believe you matter too.
The system is broken. It is improving and I hope by the time you are embarking on this journey, the system will be in a much better place. Right now though, it’s broken. From uninformed health care providers to uninformed store managers, from predatory marketing to pushy breastfeeding supporters, from poor insurance coverage to poor maternity leave, from ignorant judgmental strangers on the internet to ignorant judgmental friends in person, the system of infant feeding support in our society is failing moms. It is imbedded in our culture and it is hurting people. That can change but only by addressing the system rather than individual parents. They, you, just need someone willing to support them as a person, not a conquest. There is a lot of hurt, anger, guilt, shame, fear, arrogance, and hope surrounding this and you will hear it but it isn’t really about you.
Science is cool. There’s a lot of it and you’ll want to take the time to be familiar with it before you head into feeding your babies. Not everyone agrees on the science, it’s worth hearing the various view points. Being informed and personally conscientious can help you tap into your own powerful confidence. Decide what makes sense to you, what works for you according to the information, resources, and support available to you within your personal context and individual circumstances.
But feeding babies isn’t science, it’s a relationship. At some point, all the information in the world, all the evidence, all the support, all the goals aren’t important any more. Because it is a relationship. You and your baby. You are the one who knows what that relationship needs, you are the expert, you are the one most qualified. Even when you feel like you aren’t. You taught me that what a baby really needs is a fully invested parent who lovingly cares for them. Listen to yourself and your baby and don’t let anyone else define your relationship, feeding or otherwise.
There is more, so much more about feeding I want to tell you but for now I’ll stop here. Except for this:
I believe in you. I support you. Whatever you need, I am here for you and plan to be there for you. Unless you ask me not to. But most of all, I love you. You’ve got this.
Love,
Mom
____________________
What would you say to your children about infant feeding? How will you tell them the story of feeding them? What do you want them to know?
I started Milk with MommyCon founder, Xza Higgins, with the goal to bring together health care providers, parenting advocates, infant feeding influencers, and parents for workshops, seminars, and connecting centered around conversation supporting feeding our babies.
Founded on the belief that infant feeding support makes a difference and can directly influence confidence levels in parents, MiLK focuses on information sharing and mindful support that builds parents up without tearing down, respecting the unique journey of each of us. MiLK aims to actively educate and support infant feeding by connecting health care providers and the families they care for discussing breastfeeding, formula feeding, breastmilk pumping, at the breast supplementing, bottle feeding, cup feeding, spoon feeding… FEEDING. This is not, to be clear, a breastfeeding conference. It is an infant feeding conference with a goal of bringing together health care providers and parents where we can learn from each other.
Most importantly, I hope we learn how to really listen and what support can really looks like.
I hope you can me join me in Los Angeles, California, July 31st and August 1st. The speakers and panelists are all people I greatly respect, people that inspire me not only in my infant feeding journeys but in supporting others in their journeys as well. Offering 9.25 CERPs (IBCLC) and 11.1 Contact Hours (BRN), MiLK is for the lay parent and the health care professional.
I would love to see you there.
__________________
We have a MiLK giveaway!
3 prizes:
Grand prize: 2 tickets for one winner with the VIP option and a set of general admission to the local breastfeeding support group of their choice, 1 Arm’s Reach Mini-CoSleeper in Santa Fe, 1 tekhni Nymphai wrap, 1 Ergobaby nursing pillow, 1 Ameda Purely Yours Breast Pump, 1 Eat@Moms shirt, 1 box Earth Mama Angel Baby Organic Milkmaid Tea, 1 Earth Mama Angel Baby Natural Nipple Butter, 1 pair Earth Mama Angel Baby Booby Tubes.
Prize pack 1: 2 general admission tickets to milk, 1 tekhni Nymphai wrap, 1 Ergobaby nursing pillow, 1 manual pump, 1 Ameda nursing tank, 1 Eat@moms shirt.
Prize pack 2: 2 general admission tickets to milk, 1 tekhni Nymphai ring sling, 1 Ergobaby nursing pillow, 1 Eat@Moms shirt.
Open to USA residents only.
Please use the widget below to enter.
Carrot Fennel (Lactation) Slaw – Feed Your Whole Family
June 9, 2015 by Leave a Comment
by Carrie Saum
What do you do when you have multiple food needs in your family?
For example: Dad wants protein. Kids want carbs. Mom could use some milk boosting foods. And EVERYONE needs veggies. You can’t spend a fortune or the energy accommodating everyone all the time, right? Because you are a mom and you have to feed yourself and your family and maybe the neighborhood, too.
We joined a co-op a few years ago to purchase high-quality animal protein that was raised properly, humanely, and that was affordable. That might not be possible for you, and that’s okay. But it felt very important to us and we made the switch, even though it meant eating slightly less meat.
As a new mom, I fell in love with my crockpot. I love the idea of putting a few ingredients into a pot, walking away for the day, and then eating a fantastic home cooked meal that night. It seemed to meet all of the criteria for feeding my family: inexpensive, tasty, satisfying, balanced, and full of nutrition.
My favorite crockpot recipe by far is this Pulled Pork. It’s incredibly versatile and easy to serve, reheat, remake, and freeze. I make this fennel slaw recipe for the family and use it in pulled pork tacos. The sweetness of the slaw pairs perfectly with the saltiness of the pork. It has a fighting chance of pleasing the whole family, and boosting your milk production, too!
Ingredients:
- 2 bulbs of fennel, thinly sliced (I recommend using a mandolin.)
- 2-3 carrots, shaved (I use a veggie peeler.)
- Cilantro
- 2 Tbsp Apple cider vinegar
- 1 tsp raw honey
- Sea Salt and Pepper
Directions:
- Combine fennel, carrots and as much cilantro as you’d like in a bowl. I like LOTS of cilantro.
- Add vinegar, honey, S&P and mix thoroughly.
- Allow to sit for 10 minutes before serving to set.
My favorite preparation is this on top of pulled pork tacos with a little goat cheese a an ice cold limeade to wash it down with.
Enjoy your summer, enjoy your family!
Carrie
If you like this recipe, check out this recipe for brussel sprouts or Charlie Brown Bars over on Our Stable Table.
__________________________
*Note: It’s important to point out that most women aren’t going to need to eat food with the intention of upping their milk supply, if everything is working the way it is supposed to, your baby will know how to up your supply just fine themselves. Skin-to-skin and feeding on demand are the best ways to increase breastmilk supply to meet your baby’s needs. (Concerned you have low supply? Read this to help figure out if it is something you need to be concerned about.) For those women, galactalogues just happen and they don’t need to think about it. But some women, like me, do need a boost. As a mom who ended up exclusively pumping and indeed having low supply such that I ended up on medication solely to increase my milk production, I know what it’s like to look for anything, anything at all that would help my body make even just a little more milk to help feed my baby. With the support of my health care providers, we tried everything. It becomes “I will eat all the cookies, I will drink all the shakes, I will eat all the parfaits!” if it even just makes me feel like I’m doing something to address the low supply struggle, it is worth it.
___________________________
Carrie Saum brings a passion for wellness and over a decade of experience in health care to her clients. A certified Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor (AWC) from the Kerala Ayurveda Academy, she empowers individuals and families to achieve health and balance through time-honored practices and health knowledge.
Carrie has extensive first-hand experience in vast array of medical and service fields. With background in paramedic medicine, Carrie spent ten years serving in the non-profit sector managing organizations, programs, and orchestrating resources to meet health needs of people across the United States and abroad in countries such as Guatemala, Mexico, Kenya, and Zambia. As an AWC, Carrie currently coaches her clients and their families about topics including nutrition, weight loss, and stress management. In addition to her work as a wellness counselor, Carrie is a passionate “foodie” and author. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and young son and writes atOurStableTable.com.
Dark Chocolate Lactation Granola Bark
June 1, 2015 by Leave a Comment
by Carrie Saum
In my house, anything I make or bake will get eaten either by family or friends. But it is a very rare occurrence that anything I bake goes in the trash.
When my son was born, I made plenty of lactation goodies (including this lemonade and these cookies) and it was impossible to keep them to myself. First of all, I didn’t WANT to keep them to myself because I’m a sharer by nature. Then I couldn’t because all of the people coming in and out of our house knew about the goodies and wanted to partake.
However, that became expensive. FAST.
I got smart about it. I made all of the treats I could that were inexpensive. I could buy oats in bulk for super cheap. My mom gave me a giant jar of local honey from a farm (also very inexpensive), and the rest is history. I made little crunchy granola bars that resembled Nature’s Valley but without any added junk.
But here’s the thing. I GOT BORED. Since I needed the fuel to keep my supply up while exclusively pumping, I tried my hand at different recipes. Because boredom is the master of invention. I think. No, that’s not the right quote. But it’s the right idea. I love trying new things, but I also have to try new things to keep the game interesting. And feeding yourself (and your baby) is always interesting.
So, when boredom struck, I struck back. I added sunflower seed butter. And chocolate.
Then I got a little crazy and instead of cutting them, I broke the granola into pieces that were pretty and irregular and made me feel decadent. And every new mama needs to be made to feel decadent, right? And maybe even a little fancy, too. They’re also a breeze to make, and very affordable.
Ingredients for Granola Bark:
- 1 1/4 cup rolled oats
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/4 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 Tbsp melted butter
- 1 Tbsp molasses (optional, but adds depth of flavor)
- 1/4 cup sunflower seed butter or peanut butter
- 1/4 cup honey
Ingredients for Chocolate Layer:
- 6 oz 90% cacao chocolate
- 2 Tbsp coconut oil
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1 Tbsp raw honey
Directions for Granola Bark
- Combine all dry ingredients, and mix throughly.
- Combine all wet ingredients and add to dry ingredients.
- Spread granola mixture in a 7×12 inch parchment-lined dish. Pack it down hard, leaving no breathing room.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 18-20 minutes. Allow to cool completely in the pan.
Directions for Chocolate Layer
- Melt chocolate and coconut oil in your home-made double boiler
- Add vanilla and stevia
- Once melted and stirred well, pour into the pan of chilled nut butter mixture (Optional and delicious step: Spread a thin layer of peanut butter or sunbutter over the granola first, then pour your chocolate over it.)
- Allow to harden in the refrigerator for an hour, then break into pieces. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.
For an extra milky boost you can add 2 tablespoons brewer’s yeast and/or 2 tablespoons flaxseed meal to the granola bark. Be warned that some tummies don’t respond well to the brewer’s yeast so if you or your baby tend to have sensitive stomachs, it may be best to skip it.
*Note: These do NOT keep at room temperature because of the coconut oil the chocolate layer. If you want the chocolate to keep at room temperature, consider using (sustainably and humanely harvested) palm oil instead of coconut oil.
You will be impressed with yourself when you make these. Better yet, make these for a friend who just had a baby and she will be forever grateful.
Barking up the Lactation Tree,
Carrie
If you love this smoothie recipe, you might like this recipe for Paleo Chocolate Chip Granola or these Gluten-Free Strawberry Shortcake on Our Stable Table.
*Note: It’s important to point out that most women aren’t going to need to eat food with the intention of upping their milk supply, if everything is working the way it is supposed to, your baby will know how to up your supply just fine themselves. Skin-to-skin and feeding on demand are the best ways to increase breastmilk supply to meet your baby’s needs. (Concerned you have low supply? Read this to help figure out if it is something you need to be concerned about.) For those women, galactalogues just happen and they don’t need to think about it. But some women, like me, do need a boost. As a mom who ended up exclusively pumping and indeed having low supply such that I ended up on medication solely to increase my milk production, I know what it’s like to look for anything, anything at all that would help my body make even just a little more milk to help feed my baby. With the support of my health care providers, we tried everything. It becomes “I will eat all the cookies, I will drink all the shakes, I will eat all the parfaits!” if it even just makes me feel like I’m doing something to address the low supply struggle, it is worth it.
_______________________
Carrie Saum brings a passion for wellness and over a decade of experience in health care to her clients. A certified Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor (AWC) from the Kerala Ayurveda Academy, she empowers individuals and families to achieve health and balance through time-honored practices and health knowledge.
Carrie has extensive first-hand experience in vast array of medical and service fields. With background in paramedic medicine, Carrie spent ten years serving in the non-profit sector managing organizations, programs, and orchestrating resources to meet health needs of people across the United States and abroad in countries such as Guatemala, Mexico, Kenya, and Zambia. As an AWC, Carrie currently coaches her clients and their families about topics including nutrition, weight loss, and stress management. In addition to her work as a wellness counselor, Carrie is a passionate “foodie” and author. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and young son and writes at OurStableTable.com.
When Life Hands You Lemons Make Leaky Lactation Lemonade
May 21, 2015 by 4 Comments
by Carrie Saum
Life handed me a truck full of lemons a couple of years ago when my son was born. Stroke, seizures, feeding issues, severe food allergies…the list goes on. It seemed we had challenges galore.
For the last two summers, anytime the mercury rose above 85 degrees, I started feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I attributed much of that to post partum hormones and unusually hot weather, but the other part was breastfeeding and pumping. Those activities exacerbated the feelings of feeling hot and bothered and honestly, a little rage-y. Hooking up to a pump several times a day and trying to work on breastfeeding with my infant who had special needs with the heat zapping me just wasn’t working
I had to work hard to keep my supply up and not lose my mind. I looked for as many ways to cool down as possible without affecting my supply. I don’t love the heat to begin with, and when it’s close to 100 degrees, my feelings actually get hurt. Why does it have to be so hot? Why does it affect me so badly? How can I take the weather so personally when it isn’t personal even a little bit at all?
{Clearly, living in a cooler climate is better for me. Rain and 75 degree summer days rarely hurt my feelings.}
With all of these lemons, there was only one solution to my needs:
Lemonade.
Lactation lemonade, to be exact.
I really don’t love tea. I drink tea. I enjoy it about once a month as a soothing, calming, self-care activity. But during the summer heat, hot tea seemed unbearable. So, I took all those lemons and made lemonade and used cold milk-boosting tea instead of water. Once I mixed up a big batch of it, I was able to easily grab a glass a few times a day. I put it in my water bottle and took it with us when we ran errands. A handful of roasted sunflower seeds and a glass of lemonade was the perfect snack to keep me cool and well fuelled while running errands, working, or just doing the day-to-day duties that seem to pile up when you have small babies.
Ingredients:
- 1 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice
- 4 cups brewed mother’s milk tea, cooled
- sweetener of your choice to taste (I prefer 1 teaspoon of powdered stevia to cut down on sugar, but you can choose conventional sugar, honey added to the tea when it is hot to help it dissolve, or a blend.)
Directions:
- In a large pitcher, combine water and tea then stir.
- Add sweetner slowly, stirring and tasting often. Sweeten to taste.
- If the lemonade is too strong, you can add a little bit of water.
- Refrigerate for up to one week.
I hope this summer doesn’t make me cry. But if it does, at least I’ll have some refreshing lemonade to make it better.
Loving that Lemonade,
Carrie
*Note: It’s important to point out that most women aren’t going to need to eat food with the intention of upping their milk supply, if everything is working the way it is supposed to, your baby will know how to up your supply just fine themselves. Skin-to-skin and feeding on demand are the best ways to increase breastmilk supply to meet your baby’s needs. (Concerned you have low supply? Read this to help figure out if it is something you need to be concerned about.) For those women, galactalogues just happen and they don’t need to think about it. But some women, like me, do need a boost. As a mom who ended up exclusively pumping and indeed having low supply such that I ended up on medication solely to increase my milk production, I know what it’s like to look for anything, anything at all that would help my body make even just a little more milk to help feed my baby. With the support of my health care providers, we tried everything. It becomes “I will eat all the cookies, I will drink all the shakes, I will eat all the parfaits!” if it even just makes me feel like I’m doing something to address the low supply struggle, it is worth it.
If you like this recipe, check out this recipe for homemade Almond Joy Bars or Creamy Avocado Zoodles over on our sister site, Our Stable Table.
