humor — Page 7

F-cup, As In Frick, Those Are Some Big Boobs- Breastfeeding and Large Breasts

April 15, 2015 by theleakyb@@b 20 Comments

by Joni Edelman

this post made possible by the generous sponsorship of Rumina Nursingwear.

The author and her family.

Let me just start this off right by saying, YAY. All caps YAY. Jessica asked me to write this guest post my and first thought was, naturally, “Who? Me? Are you SURE? But I’m not worthy.” It was a real Wayne’s World moment, and if you don’t know what Wayne’s World is, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. Mostly because it would imply that I am old. Which I am not. In any case, once I was able to return to standing, I remembered that I have boobs and they have collectively nursed 10 years and 5+ kids.

Editor’s note: I nearly fainted when she said yes she would write for us! And having fed babies meant she was infinitely qualified to write for TLB. Also, Wayne’s World was a Saturday Night Live skit from the late 80’s turned feature film in the early 90’s for those of you too young to be reading this, I mean, get the reference. Back to Joni…

Speaking of boobs, let’s talk about mine! They’re round(ish). They have nipples. The right one is bigger than the left. And because the right one is bigger than the left, the right nipple points sort of downward in an ode to gravity, and my bellybutton. And speaking of gravity, my boobs and gravity, they are well acquainted. In addition to being round, nipple bearing, disproportionate, and subject to gravity, they are also large. As of this writing, they thoroughly fill an F cup. F is for frick. As in frick, those are some big boobs.

I digress. Let me start from the start. I was born in the early 70s. In the early 70s women were setting their bras on fire and such, which in hindsight seems pretty sensible. I imagine my mother, cut off shorts and tube top, perched on my dad’s shoulders at a Janis Joplin concert, waving her bra in the air, screaming, “THE MAN WILL NOT HOLD ME DOWN.” Or some other such profound feminist thing. As a consequence of the bra burning, my mom wasn’t really wearing bras. As such, I was quite intimately aware of her small sloping breasts and thumb size nipples (which seemed really grotesque to me at 7, but which I now see as relatively common, as in mine look just like that).

I personally didn’t have any boobs. I was 99.7% sure that I was destined to bear the chest of a 10 year old boy until such day as I left this earth.

Then when I was 16 I went to Europe. And while in Europe I ate a lot of pasta/nutella/bread/gelato. Because I was there for quite a while, all that pasta/nutella/bread/gelato basically adhered itself to my butt and chest. Tada. By miracle of chocolate and hazelnuts, plus a sprinkling of hormones, my boobs were born.

Joni breastfeeding and pregnant.

And then my first baby was born when I was 20. No one in my family had breastfed a baby since The Grapes of Wrath. So no one really talked about it and no one could, or would, really tell me about it. But I decided I was going to figure it out so I equipped myself with two boobs full of milk and three nursing bras.

I nursed that baby and then her brother and his brother and his sister and her brother. And if you lost count, that’s five. Plus some random babies here and there because I am cow-like in milk production. Milk glands are like sweat glands. So making milk is akin to sweating. I sweat a lot and I also make a lot of milk. COINCIDENCE?

The milk sweating doesn’t really have anything to do with the fact that I have two boulders attached to my chest. That’s mostly just genetics. I’m German and when I consider my family tree I picture a busty barmaid in a corset with a tray of beer. Wait. That’s the St. Pauli girl. In any case, where these suckers came from may remain a mystery but what is not a mystery is that they are big.

I was fit for a nursing bra after that first baby, because the three I bought looked like I was trying to shove a watermelon into a tube sock. When the lovely lady at Pea in a Pod (or something. It was the early 90s, the options were slim) measured me and declared me a 34G, I must have turned some shade of white/green, because even she looked alarmed.

Ten year old boy to Dolly Parton. Bam.

Bras and nursing tanks are more readily available now, but in the 90s if you wanted a special size you had to order it. From a catalogue. I know. It was the dark ages. We just all sat around looking at our catalogues by candlelight and eating our curds and whey.

Milk ducts actually increase with the birth/nursing of each subsequent child. Which basically means that by now, I’m equipped with enough milk-sweat glands to feed a not very small village. I nursed my last baby 2.5 years from a G cup.

Nursing with breasts this plentiful has it’s benefits, and of course it’s downfalls. Discuss.

Boos:

Buying a bra is no easy feat. Forget off the rack, unless you go to Sports Authority and buy two hammocks and whipstitch them together.
Discretion is not easy. It’s hard enough to keep a baby covered much less a breast the size of volleyball. I never even tried. Look stranger, I double dog dare you.
Your giant breast may inadvertently smoosh into your baby’s face. Not like suffocation level though (because babies are born with that little nose channel to help them breathe, probably in circumstances such as these) but smoosh, non the less.
It’s more likely that your infant will inadvertently latch on to the side your breast, simply because there is so. much. boob.
Your back is probably going to hurt from lugging around a pair of tatas heavier than your baby.

The author and her two youngest

Yays:

Looking like Dolly Parton. (This can actually fall into either category. The former, from my perspective)
In the event you are tandem nursing, it is quite easy to nurse two children at once, even if they are not near each other.
In that same category, you can nurse on your back. Because your breasts simply fall down. The one time gravity and breasts work together toward a common goal.
Ever been on a long car drive with a crying baby. Boob in the carseat and you don’t have to dangerously lean over the seat. Need I say more?

Despite my lack of support/example/community I nursed all five of my babies until they stopped. I’m profoundly grateful for my E.5 (left) and F (right) breasts. They have served gallons and gallons of meals to a bevy of babies. My gratitude is expressed by way of a well fitting bra, ordered from a catalogue. Just kidding, thankfully it’s from Cacique. Which is good because I’m fresh out of candles.

I’m Joni. I’m lucky enough to have 5 amazing kids (19, 16, 15, 4 and 2), one fantastic husband, an awesome sister and a yarn addiction. When I’m not raising up people I’m a freelance writer, RN, and the momma behind mommabare. Love is my religion. I like cake and crafty crap. And yoga. In that order.

Filed Under: #MyStoryMatters, #TLBSupportForward, Article, body image, Boobs, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding humor, breastfeeding stories, breasts, Featured, humor Tagged With: big boobs, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding with large breasts, Joni Edelman, large breast

Not Your Typical 10 Tips for Surviving Traveling with Children

February 11, 2015 by theleakyb@@b 3 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

This post was made possible by the generous sponsorship of Mamava Lactation Stations.

When you do both without a partner you’ll find yourself peeing in a public restroom with a baby strapped to your back and everyone’s luggage in there with you.

Traveling with children, I don’t understand how there isn’t a reality show based on this yet. There would be plenty of drama, melt-downs (and not just coming from the kids), arguments, ridiculous situations, questionable wardrobe opportunities, and oh-no-she-didn’t moments.

While some families go for goody bags and apologizing-in-advance notes explaining that their children may act like the juvenile members of society they are, others just hope to make it through the experience with their yoga pants and spit-up embellished shirt intact. Thank you overachiever-extra-considerate parents for making the rest of us look like loser slackers. Board an airplane with a child in tow these days and I swear you’ll see looks of horror, fear, and then annoyance if you don’t have goody bags with drink coupons, ear plugs, and candy for them. As if they could possibly need a goody bag more than the parents do. If I am buying anyone chocolate for when I travel with my children, it’s going to be me. How dare I take my child in public without compensating those who must endure her presence. Hold up, I may have a smushed piece of chocolate in the bottom of the diaper bag if you really feel you deserve a participation award for me traveling with my children.

I’ve had a lot of experience traveling with children over the years. Of course, I now consider leaving the house with children to be “traveling with children.” Over the past 16 years I’ve been forced to develop some serious survival skills for this near daily endeavor. This isn’t your typical Pinterest style tips, here, in no particular order are my 10 tips for slacker parents like myself to survive traveling with children:

1. Dress for comfort. It’s likely you’re going to find yourself lugging too much stuff (and wondering why you didn’t get a Uhaul for it), chasing after someone or something, wearing someone’s meal and probably someone’s body fluid (admit it, either one could be yours), and possibly wrestling an octopus at any given moment. If you’re breastfeeding, comfort and boob accessibility can make the difference between going crazy and just looking like you are. Road trip (all the way to the grocery store!), plane, train, or the mall carousel, comfort is of the essence, you simply can’t dash after a kid in anything more trendy than yoga pants.

2. Have extra. Of everything. Since I have 6 kids, everyone seems to think I even bring extra children. Though it may seem as though you already have brought the entire Baby’s R Us, guaranteed there is something you have forgotten or foolishly didn’t bring enough extras of and that one item is the only one you will need. Just packed 6 diapers in that diaper bag? You’ll need 7 for sure then. You have an extra outfit for baby in your right pocket and for yourself in the left, right? No? There will be a poopsplosion on the airplane and you’ll have been the terrorist with the bomb, the evidence all over you and your baby. You are traveling with a weapon of massive poopstruction, you don’t want to be underprepared. So just go ahead and rent that Uhaul, stuff the glove compartment, or pack that obnoxiously large carry-on, whatever you do, don’t come up short on the 1,239,845,123,020,934 baby “essentials.”

3. Rations. You can Pinterest the living daylights out of this point, I did. A clever little box of snacks including fruit and other healthyish munchies. It was cute and put together. In the end though, you’ll just start throwing food at them and hoping some makes it in and satisfies them for 10 minutes. They say don’t eat when you’re bored but travel is totally the exception to that rule. Why? Because snacks mean silence and if you’re lucky, maybe eventually even a nap. Eat all the goldfish, Honey, I got the big box from Costco just for this trip, you can eat them all day long.

4. Put those kids to work. Once they demonstrate some competent walking skills (with my kids that seems to kick in around 6 years old) it’s time to put them to work. Even toddlers can sort of do it if getting places with any kind of urgency isn’t on your list. Each member of your caravan can carry a backpack, don’t let them slack. You want to eat on this journey, kid? Well then you better carry that food so you don’t go hungry. Want your special blankie or plushie? I got a spot for that right on your back. Activites so you don’t get bored? If you’re ready to carry the weight, you’re going to be entertained for hours.

5. Accessorize. You know what’s hot these days? Babies. They’re like a furnace. So strap one on, ditch the stroller, and strut like the hottest fashion model as you bolt to your gate. Strollers are great for certain settings but for travel can be cumbersome and take up a lot of space. Leave it at home if you can and try babywearing instead. Of course, if you have more than one baby or a baby and a toddler or otherwise think it would be good to have a baby tank handy for your excursions, you can always turn the stroller into a bulldozer to get people out of your way.

6. Find your backbone and don’t be afraid to use it. Since you may encounter people who resent you bringing your children into a public space or may be so happy to see your baby they border on affectionate assault, you may need your spine. When we traveled to India, a culture that loves young children and a fair skinned red head was a bit of an anomaly, our introverted 2 year old learned that everything could go much smoother for her if she just automatically started yelling “go away, don’t touch!” from the moment we opened the car door anywhere. Speak up for what you need and speak up when the boundaries of you or your child(ren) aren’t being respected. I must say “go away, don’t touch” at the top of your lungs does seem to be effective.

7. Sleep. Just kidding, you’re probably not going to get any sleep when you travel with kids, silly.

8. Have an escape plan. You’ll probably need it. An escape plan when traveling with children can look like anything, not just the exit that the little lights along the aisle lead to, which, unless there are more than just your kids screaming and hysterical, probably isn’t a good idea to utilize. The most effective escape options include a door and a lock, a containment facility for those that like to run and to block everything else out. Even better if there was a foot massage but unless you can get a kid to help you with that, it’s likely trying to have that experience with kids along for the ride will include you saying something like “stop licking the vibrating chair” or “those pretty colored bottles aren’t candy sweetie.” If you have a baby to feed, breastfeeding or otherwise, this can be the perfect built-in escape plan especially if you have an adult travel companion. If breastfeeding is going well for you, breastfeeding while traveling is super easy AND you get a shot of oxytocin each time you feed your kid. Instant stress relief. Nobody needs to hide to feed their child unless they are more comfortable doing so. Still, it’s the perfect excuse, you need to feed the baby, you have identified an escape plan facility (like the Mamava pods!), you hand the other child(ren) off to your partner, you go into escape facility, you lock door, and you revel in the comparative quiet stillness that is just one child and actually sitting down in more than 2 inches of space. And if you have to pump, you can maybe even go alone! Of course, if you’re not traveling with an adult who can wander around airport shops herding cats, I mean kids, then your escape may just mean a spot where they can’t run too far while you feed the baby. When you’re traveling with children you take what you can get. If you magically find yourself with spare time in advance, you can even plan out those spots while looking like a bad mom by daring to tear your eyes of your children (you might miss her twirl for the 4,253,649th time!) and check out this app for finding such havens.

Who is “vacationing” at Target today?

9. Breathe. Impossible, right? But important. There’s a reason they tell you on flights to put your oxygen mask on first before helping someone else with their’s: if you don’t get yours on and you pass out from lack of oxygen, you’re not going to be much help. You need to make sure you’re getting air or you’re no good to anyone. Don’t rush and don’t forget to take care of yourself even if it’s just in little ways. For kids, the scent of stress is like the scent of blood for sharks, one little whiff and there will be a feeding frenzy. So breathe. Breathe deep. And for 5 minutes try to ignore the fact that every breath reminds you there’s a diaper that needs changing.

10. Plug in. We get it screens aren’t great for little kids and we miss out on so much when we’re plugged in and out of touch with the world around us. Which is why using technology to entertain kids while traveling is absolutely brilliant. We try to limit screen time at home in our family, so there’s room for many other activities that inspire creativity, physical movement, and adventure. Plus, that denial makes it a huge treat that they get to overindulge in screen time when we travel. At the start of any trip we avoid using screens but it doesn’t really take long before I’m saying “here sweetie, some headphones and digital candies you can crush for the next hour.” Survival of the techiest.

In all seriousness though, I love traveling with children. Seeing the world (or the grocery store), friends, and family is worth the difficulties we plunge ourselves and our children into. It isn’t always easy (why do we say that when what we mean is “95% of the time this is as pleasant as a pap smear but lasts a lot longer”?) but it is always rewarding. What are your realistic tips for traveling with kids?

Happy travels!

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding humor, Breastfeeding in public, family, Featured, humor, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: breastfeeding and travel, family friendly travel, Mamava, Parenting, traveling with kids

Introducing Boobles™- MOST Like Mom

January 22, 2015 by theleakyb@@b 2 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

You’ve seen it, the advertising of bottles and formula announcing how their product is somehow “like mom.” Or proclaiming that there are new developments that allows their product to be “more like the breast” while elsewhere on the packaging they say “breast is best.” It sounds amazing: new technology, new understanding, new science has unlocked some secret that makes this nipple shape and design more like a real breast than all previous nipple shapes or this specially formulated blend of ingredients more brain boosting like what is found in breastmilk than all previous specially formulated blends ever of all time in the history of feeding babies. Now it’s “more like mom” than ever before! Hey, this could be the answer to your breastfeeding troubles, this product will fix colic, sleep issues, calma your kid, teach them how to breastfeed, and probably even make your bed, because it’s MORE LIKE MOM!

Honestly though, I understand where it is coming from and it’s not the first time plastic and silicone has been confused as being “just like” the real thing, so really, it’s not that surprising. (Boobs, I’m referring to fake boobs. Which, really, when you think about it, bottles are just a different version of fake boobs. Portable, detached, feeding utensil fake boobs for feeding babies.)

But of course that’s what they’re trying to do, create, market, and sell something that is as close as possible to what human infants are born expecting. It’s probably not going to do so well with truly honest advertising that says “really nothing like mom but acceptable delivery system for infant nutrition.” Can’t imagine why brands would shy away from that approach. Besides, the basic shape is there and the design is sometimes there requiring the baby to suck to get anything from the teat (you may be surprised though, lots of bottles just run like a facet when you tilt them, some of the biggest culprits are those that claim to be for breastfed babies).

These claims, while highly contested, are on to something. It just makes sense to feed babies “like mom”. Their mouths are shaped for that, their brains are wired for sucking, and developmentally that’s really all babies can manage since forks and spoons are tricky at that stage and tubes are hopefully medically unnecessary. Having used a eye dropper to feed one of my infants, that’s also rather time consuming and messy. Having used bottles with all my babies (photographic evidence here because apparently if you’ve never posted a photo of it online, it never even happened and you’re a lying jerk), I can say a bottle tends to be a effective delivery system of infant nutrition. Very few people would argue against the basic design of bottles, it’s comparing it to mom that gets confusing and, well, kind of like lying. A predatory preying on someone who just wants to do what’s “best” for their child. These companies have financial motivation to convince someone that their product is like mom.

Because, let’s be honest here, how do they know it’s “like mom?” Aside from the obvious differences in materials (warm, living tissue vs plastic and/or silicone), each woman, shoot, for most of us, each breast is different. When they say more like the breast, I find myself asking “which one?” and when I read claims of a bottle design being closer to mom, I wonder “who?”

So, I did. I asked several of my friends to give me their interpretation of what a bottle that looked like them would look like. I asked them, if there was a bottle designed to be like their breast, what would be distinctive of their customized more like mom boob bottle, what we’re calling “Boobles™- MOST LIKE MOM”. For several of us, that would require two very different options since each of the breasts on our chest are unique in their own right. Can’t be more like this mom with just one bottle.

Here are the renderings of these moms and what their breasts would look like topping a bottle, if bottles were truly more like THAT mom. Introducing “Boobles™- MOST LIKE MOM” concept bottles that are truly, “more like mom”:

The Badass Breastfeeding Abby Theurig's Boobles™

The Badass Breastfeeder, Abby Theurig’s Boobles™ need two versions.

Kelly’s Boobles™

Laura Dover’s Boobles™, two different styles.

Acelleron Maternal Health and Wellness, Megan O’Neill’s Booble™

Rachelle Unlatched Lesteshen’s Booble™

Emily’s Boobles™ are similar but not exactly the same.

Iola from What the Beep Am I Doing would need two different models too.

Amy Peterson drew a sample of what a Booble™ could look like for a woman with a bifurcated nipple.

Jessie’s Booble™ sketch

Carrie from Our Stable Table has Lefty and Old Faithful Boobles™.

Anonymous Booble™- I promised I wouldn’t tell.

Serena’s Boobles™, one size doesn’t fit all.

MommyCon's, Xza Higgins Boobles™ would neat a righty bottle that is prone to leak.

MommyCon’s, Xza Higgins would neat a righty Booble™ that is prone to leak.

What would your Booble™ look like and what would be the unique features to make it “more like mom” for your baby?

With all the brands out there touting to be “more like mom” and promising silly things like teaching your baby how to breastfeed (biology taught your baby to breastfeed, the bottle is an attempt at copying your biology, plastic can’t teach a baby how to breastfeed!) and product names that make you think of breasts and breastfeeding, it can be confusing to find a bottle that works for your little one should they need it. How do you cut through all the gimmicks and marketing to truly find one that will meet your baby’s needs, particularly if you are breastfeeding? A popular suggestion is to find a nipple shape that looks like your breast, but aside from the potential awkward moment to check your boob selfie on your phone or to whip a boob out if you need to compare your own nipples to the bottle while you’re at the store (and then I bet you’ll wish you were shopping online), is that really helpful? I decided to ask my friend Amy Peterson, IBCLC and co-author of the book Balancing Breast and Bottle, Reaching Your Breastfeeding Goals for some guidance:

Don’t waste time looking for a bottle nipple that looks like your breast. The best way to choose a bottle nipple is to look at your baby’s latch on your breast, and then on the bottle nipple. The tip of the nipple needs to reach far back into your baby’s mouth, while the baby’s lips are slightly opened and rest on a portion of the nipple base. Surprisingly, many shapes marketed for breastfed babies are often the shapes that cause the worst bottle latch: a latch where the baby looks like he is sucking on a straw.

It’s probably a long way off for customized bottles made from silicon molds of each individual mother’s breasts, Boobles™ aren’t going to be happening any time soon. (Either a brilliant business idea or the worst idea ever.) Of course, the ridiculous claims and names of bottles aren’t about to go away any time soon either. Sifting through it all to find what works for you and your family, with the help of an IBCLC health care professional if necessary, skip the comparisons to your own breasts or those of a random woman in a stock photo used to make a sale and look for something that meets the needs of your baby. While the breast is certainly the best design for a human infant, though not always without problems that may make feeding difficult, there’s no bottle that’s going to really be anything like the breast. Unless of course plastic, silicon, glass, and/or rubber makes you think “more like mom.”

Here at TLB, how you feed your baby is secondary to that you feed your baby. Having a sense of humor, exploring some of the social and relational aspects of infant feeding and parenting, discussing information, and sharing our stories is really what we’re about. Phrases comparing infant feeding devices (doesn’t that sound so much cooler and refined than “bottle”?) to breasts are something we take issue with because ultimately we feel it’s confusing and it undermines the confidence families can have in feeding their babies well. Because, let’s get real, there can’t be many of us that look at a bottle nipple and say “hey, I resemble that teat!”

What would a Booble™ based on you look like and what kind of functional features would your customized Boobles™ have? Email your rendering of a custom designed Booble™ to content@theleakyboob.com with the subject “My Booble™” in the subject and we’ll add it to our gallery of bottle designs that would actually be more like mom.

For me, aside from two different models, my Boobles™ would have one a bit more dense than the other and both would leak whenever a baby cried. I could never take them in public without some sort of cover.

Boobles™- MOST LIKE MOM!

*Please note, you don’t have to use bottles to feed your baby if you don’t want or need to.

** Please note, doesn’t have to be breasts either.

*** Also, this post is supposed to be humorous, not something to get worked up over.

****And Boobles™ aren’t really a thing.

Filed Under: Article, Boobs, Bottle Feeding, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, breasts, Featured, formula, humor, Jessica, The Leaky Boob Tagged With: baby bottle design, baby bottles, Boobles, Booblesbreastfeeding, bottle feeding, bottles more like mom, Breastfeeding, infant feeding, marketing bottles, more like mom, silly marketing

Seven Ways to Experience Nurturing During the Holidays

December 18, 2014 by Carrie Saum 1 Comment

by Carrie Saum

This post was made possible by the generous sponsorship of Wean Green Glass and TLB sister site, Our Stable Table.

Feeling stressed? Gruesome Holidays.
Photo Credit: By bplanet, published on 02 November 2013
Stock Image – image ID: 100214808

It’s the holidays. Enough said. In the midst of all the holiday chaos, you might find you’ve begun feeling frayed already. Here are seven ways to de-stress, relax, and nurture yourself while you nurture those around you.

Fill your home with sounds and smells you love. Do you love holiday music? Put together a playlist of your favorite tunes and hit. Holiday music might not be your thing, and that’s okay. You’re not alone. Make a playlist of your favorite songs from each year for the last 20 years instead, songs that connect you to a sweet memory or happy moment in your life. Invest in an essential oil diffuser and add lavender and chamomile essential oils, or fill your crockpot with plenty of water, a cinnamon stick and sliced orange to fill your home with warm, invigorating scents. Do everything you can to stay in your body and connect with your heartspace through sounds and smell. Make an extra effort to release your stress through laughter, and get your family in on it, too. (My favorite way to do this is with YouTube videos of babies laughing or kittens being ridiculous.)

Drink warm things. I know. This is so basic. But imagine you’re feeling cold, stressed, and mentally fuzzy. Now imagine a cup of your favorite hot beverage in your hand, the ritual of holding, smelling and feeling the steam kiss your face. It’s pretty wonderful, right? You’ll feel the warmth from your head down to your toes. Make green tea and your mental acuity might even return.

Rub your ears. Your ears are loaded with pressure points that connect to your entire body. If you do nothing else to relieve your tension, do this. In the car, during stressful interactions, in the middle of the chaos, you will find your stress level falling with each tiny stroke. Even better, have your partner do this for you and double the relaxation effect.

Get between the sheets. Create an intention to go to bed early, sleep in late, and enjoy your partner. Lose your clothes when you have the opportunity. Take advantage of extra family or friends around to get some time alone together. Ask your in-laws to get up with the kids one morning and take them to breakfast, or on a long adventure through the neighborhood while you cuddle alone in a quiet house. Skin-to-skin time releases blissful, magical endorphins. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, emotionally flooded, or disconnected, skin-to-skin contact with your partner can help bring those emotions down a few notches.

The same goes for your nursling. If you’re both over-stimulated from all the holiday commotion, take your wee one to bed with you and have a skin nap. Grandparents can get their cuddles in later, but nothing is more important than your bond with your tiny babe.

Pack in protein. Sugar and carby treats overflow every table, platter, bowl, and bag within reach this time of year. While enjoying these treats in moderation is totally fine for most folks, too much sugar turns some (many) of us into wild beasts. Mamas, it doesn’t have to be this way. Start the day off with a massive protein punch and get ahead of the sugar curve. Pastured eggs, almond butter, tofurkey, breakfast sausage, a leftover chicken leg or whatever protein source you can lay your hands on first thing in the morning will be a great way to help keep insulin levels stable and the sugar crazies at bay. Keep a bag of nuts in your purse to snack on so you don’t get too hungry. Nosh protein-heavy foods first at holiday gatherings and then decide if you want that sweet treat later.

Move for fun. Gentle yoga poses, stretching, burpees, or quick run around the neighborhood might be just what you need to reconnect to yourself. My personal favorite is a silly ragdoll, and my little guy loves it, too. We both end up giggling and happy.

Say it out loud. Family tension during the holidays…Eek! And ewww. Whatever unresolved frustrations and conflict you’ve carried through the year(s) only heightens during the holidays. Interactions with loved ones can feel strained and sticky when we leave things unsaid or incomplete. If you feel brave and it’s appropriate, talk about your conflicts and points of tension with that family member directly, kindly, and gently. If you’re feeling less brave or don’t trust yourself to say it well, say it to their picture. And make sure to say ALL OF IT, complete with wild gestures, a loud voice and colorful language. You don’t have to carry those energy-draining feelings around with you for another holiday season. Release the feelings, release the past, and move on. You’ll feel empowered and ready for a new experience on the other side.

For more ideas about how to stay healthy, well fed, and connected this Christmas, head over to Our Stable Table for our 10 Healthy Holidays.

_____________________

What are your tips for taking care of yourself and distressing? Not just during the holidays, but year round?

_____________________

Carrie Saum brings a passion for wellness and over a decade of experience in health care to her clients. A certified Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor (AWC) from the Kerala Ayurveda Academy, she empowers individuals and families to achieve health and balance through time-honored practices. Carrie has extensive first-hand experience in vast array of medical fields. She has a background in paramedic medicine and spent ten years serving in the non-profit sector managing organizations, programs, and orchestrating resources to meet the health needs of people across the United States and abroad in countries such as Guatemala, Mexico, Kenya, and Zambia. She has coached countless clients on topics such as nutrition, weight loss, and stress management. In addition to her work as a wellness counselor, Carrie is a passionate “foodie” and blogs regularly about healthy cooking and nourishing the whole family with The Leaky Boob’s sister site OurStableTable.com and Facebook page. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and young son.

Filed Under: Featured, guest posts, humor, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: breastfeeding during the holidays, family, healthy eating in the holidays, holiday survival

Eating for Two: An Elimination Diet Story

December 8, 2014 by Carrie Saum 2 Comments

by Carrie Saum

This post was made possible by the generous sponsorship of Wean Green Glass and TLB sister site, Our Stable Table.

Pumping at a party with The Leaky Boob family

Can we just chat about ED for a hot second? Yes. That ED.

It happens, nobody really wants to talk about it, fewer people want to hear about it, and yet it affects so many of us. ED complicates the most straightforward activities, creates more stress during a stressful season, and siphons our time, energy, and mental capacity to make sound decisions.

Elimination Diets suck. (What? You didn’t think I was talking about the other kind of ED, did you? Psh.)

I’ve been on some sort of elimination diet for over two years. First, it was because I was pregnant. I involuntarily eliminated most food for 5 months, then only added in what my incubating baby would allow me to consume after that. And what my unborn child wanted to eat was croissants and kombucha, in spite of my every intention of eating mostly protein, veggies and fruit. Then I birthed my baby and ate ALL THE THINGS. That was a mistake. Turns out, my son didn’t take well to many foods, even through breastmilk. After a few months, we regulated one of the meds he had to take for seizures, and I cut out wheat and dairy for starters. My son’s poop diapers improved a bit. I could easily blame the rest of his relatively mild GI issues and eczema on his meds, so I left it at that for a few more months.

Then he started solids.

Within weeks, it became crystal clear that not only was my babe intolerant of certain foods in my breastmilk, he wasn’t tolerating solid foods at all. He was diagnosed with FPIES, a rare food allergy. We ran every blood test. We tried every non-invasive alternative allergy testing method to help pinpoint possible triggers. He still reacted to my breastmilk, and it was getting WORSE. So, an Elimination Diet was the next stop on our journey.

I started small, became super strict about wheat and dairy. I added soy and sugar to the elimination protocol. It wasn’t enough.

You know what was enough? Cutting out food altogether.

Just kidding. But I did cut out many, many more foods. At one time, my elimination list looked like this:

Eliminated Foods:                                                                        Safe Foods:
Wheat                                                                                                   Rice
Corn                                                                                                  Quinoa
Corn Products (HFCS, Canola Oil, etc)                                         Poultry
Oats                                                                                                      Red Meat
Eggs                                                                                                      Most Veggies
Pork                                                                                                      Most Fruit
Cane Sugar                                                                                      Most Nuts and Seeds
Asparagus                                                                                            Raw Honey
Tomatoes                                                                                           Most oils
Mushrooms                                                                                       Water
Sweet Potatoes                                                                                  Wine
Avocado
Carrots
Squash
Plums
Prunes
Melons
Peanuts
Soy

It’s SO FUN eating this way!

Just kidding. Again. Have you tried going to a party where you can’t eat wheat, dairy, sugar, soy and corn? Because nothing says party like rice and kale, I became a master of RSVP’ing to Evites with a cute “I’ll be there with my own delicious green smoothie and big bowl of brown rice to share!”

Although all of my friends and family are supportive, not everyone understands the nuances of an ED. Some would kindly try to accommodate me at dinners and parties and ask me for a list of foods to avoid. Without fail, I would email the list and my friends would reply with “What the hell do you eat?!”. My answer? “Hopes and dreams.”

After a while, I found it was easier just bring my own food to the gathering and eat it on the sly while I pumped in a back room. That didn’t last long, though. I’m a social creature and need interaction. So, I donned my pump cover and armed myself with a safe-for-me treat and ventured out into the party. People were usually so fascinated or uncomfortable by the pump mooing next to me that they didn’t pay much attention to the weird food I was eating.

Later, when I could manage a night out without pumping every three hours, I brought enough food to share. Then I made it a game. I would try to come up with the tastiest, most decadent ED treat my limited options would allow and then present it as regular food. Pretty daring, right? It worked. My food was always a hit. And I rarely told people the ED backstory because good food is GOOD, regardless of what label you put on it.

Mamas, we make an obscene number of sacrifices for our miniature milk monsters. We wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s okay to be sad to give up our comforts while still being glad to be able to provide what our little ones need. And if the sadness of giving up ice cream or baguettes gets to be too much, replace it with something else that brings you joy. For me, it was something like this Meyer Lemon Coconut Tartlet , and this fun infographic only you will appreciate.

Carrie Saum brings a passion for wellness and over a decade of experience in health care to her clients. A certified Ayurvedic Wellness Counselor (AWC) from the Kerala Ayurveda Academy, she empowers individuals and families to achieve health and balance through time-honored practices. Carrie has extensive first-hand experience in vast array of medical fields. She has a background in paramedic medicine and spent ten years serving in the non-profit sector managing organizations, programs, and orchestrating resources to meet the health needs of people across the United States and abroad in countries such as Guatemala, Mexico, Kenya, and Zambia. She has coached countless clients on topics such as nutrition, weight loss, and stress management. In addition to her work as a wellness counselor, Carrie is a passionate “foodie” and blogs regularly about healthy cooking and nourishing the whole family with The Leaky Boob’s sister site OurStableTable.com and Facebook page. She lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband and young son.

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding difficulties, breastfeeding humor, breastfeeding stories, family, Featured, guest posts, humor, Milk Supply, motherhood, Parenting, Pumping Tagged With: allergies, baby allergies, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding diet, elimination diet, pumping

How to Wean Your Teenager

December 5, 2014 by theleakyb@@b 9 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber with Ophélia and Lavinia Martin-Weber

It is a well known fact that if you don’t make sure you get a baby off the boob by the end of their first year or definitely by the time they are two, they will never, ever stop breastfeeding and you’ll have to go to college with them. This is a fact known by every Tom, Dick, and Harry, Cindy, Karen, and Amanda. If you’re not aware of this, don’t worry, any conversation about breastfeeding beyond infancy in person, on an online article, blog posts, and of course, social media, will eventually become about this very fact. It is an inescapable truth: if you breastfeed past infancy your child will never wean and you will find yourself breastfeeding a teenager or young adult some day. Once they can ask for it you have to cut them off or they will never stop. Clearly breastfeeding is more addictive than chocolate, alcohol, crack, speed, shopping, and independence.

Because everyone knows that 3 and 13 are pretty much the same thing, you just stick a one in front of that 3. Teens are, according to most people, really just toddlers in bigger bodies, with raging hormones, pimples, and a slightly larger vocabulary. The temper tantrums are pretty much the same. Childhood goes so fast, don’t blink because you’ll miss it if you do and the next thing you know your 6’ 1” teenage boy will be folding himself onto your lap and tugging at your shirt saying “nene please mama.” Fact.

*Disclaimer: I have teenagers, they were breastfed as babies and toddlers but they never breastfed beyond early childhood so I can’t say I have any experience with this fact myself, nor have I ever encountered a breastfeeding teenager and unless my friends are lying, neither have they. But thousands of people say it is true. I know, I read it online.

But let’s say you’ve done it, ignored all the warnings and breastfed your child after their 1st birthday and then even after their 2nd and 3rd and 4th birthdays, now what? If you haven’t already, you’re headed straight to meeting them at lunch in high school so they can have mama milk. And if you have more than one child, you really are in big trouble. Juggling all those schedules to get your kids their babas is going to get really challenging.

It’s true, I guess, you’re just going to HAVE to cut them off at some point unless you really are ok following them to college and then some day on their honeymoon. There could be bonding moments in the future as you breastfeed your grown son while his wife breastfeeds their son. If that just won’t work for you though, how are you ever going to get that teenager to stop breastfeeding? When is it really time to wean and how do you do it?

I turned to my resident experts on teens: Earth Baby, 16, and Storyteller, 13. They were a bit shocked when I initially brought it up to them:

Me: “How should a mom wean their teenager from breastfeeding?”

EB: “Wait, WHAT?”

Storyteller: “That’s a thing? I don’t think that’s a thing.”

Me: “It’s totes a thing, I read it online.”

*At this point I got “the look” from Storyteller.

Storyteller: “You should never say ‘totes again’ and now I know that’s not a thing.”

EB: “Wait, WHAT? Are you really asking what I think you are asking?”

Me: “What’s wrong with me saying ‘totes’? And yes, I’m really asking.”

EB: “I don’t think any of my friends have conversations like this with their moms…”

Storyteller: “OMG, I know mine don’t. They also don’t breastfeed. Or say ‘totes.’ People saying teenagers breastfeed are severely lacking in intelligence. You can’t say ‘totes’ because you’re too old.”

EB: “Our family is weird, isn’t it?”

Me: “They either don’t breastfeed because their mom weaned them when they were young enough or they do breastfeed in secret. Some of them have to because I read it on the internet. Why am I too old to say ‘totes’?”

Storyteller: “You do know you can’t believe everything you read on the internet, right? It’s just dumb to think that kids that don’t stop breastfeeding when they are little will end up wanting to breastfeed as teenagers. Saying ‘totes’ is dumb too. What is wrong with people?”

Me: “I write on the internet, of course you can believe everything you read on the internet!

Earth Baby: “This is ridiculous.”

Earth Baby and Storyteller how to wean teenagers

Storyteller (left) and Earth Baby (right).

It took a while to get them to just go with me on this but that was an excellent example of just how hard it could be to wean a teenager. They’re stubborn creatures and smart too, they can argue until you’re blue in the face and they’ll still continue. Weaning a breastfed teenager could be intensely difficult! I can see why there are so many warnings to wean while they are still young.

Besides, can you imagine breastfeeding through the dreaded wisdom teeth stage?

After bribing them, they came up with some ideas. I shot down a few, such as the suggestion that you just tell them no, that it’s all done. Oh puh-lease, teenagers and “no” go about as well together as oil and water. I’m not so great at taking a direct “no” either so I know it’s best to save them for the big things such as “no, you absolutely can not surf on the hood of a truck going down the highway.” They agreed that “no” wouldn’t work given our family’s own personal experience with how well “no” is an effective strategy for a teenager. #itsnoteffectiveatall

Here are the ones we all thought might be most effective though, all approved by the teenagers in my house:

Gentle conversation. According to my 13 year old, teenagers are reasonable.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Moving on.

Bribe them with cake. That’s right, offer cake and tell them if they give up “bobbies” they can have cake. Also acceptable would be cake pops, frappuccinos, mini doughnuts, and iTunes gift cards.

Wean to drive. They can’t drive or get a drivers license until they give up the mama milks for good. No exceptions. It would be so important for mom to hold strong when the whining starts after they’ve started driving and start whining about how badly they need their nene.

Entertainment options. If you’re trying to wean a younger teen or maybe a tween, you could try saying no PG 13 movies because those movies are for big kids and big kids don’t get to breastfeed any more. This will work because all their friends will be talking about the next Pitch Perfect movie and they’ll totally be left out which would even be worse than weaning.

Smart phone. Like breastfeeding, all the teens are smartphoning these days. It’s simple though, mom will have to get another job to afford the bill so she can’t breastfeed any more. If they want a smartphone to fit in with their friends, they’ll be more than willing for mom to hang up her nursing bras and go to work.

Dating. Explain that any possible dates will be a little horrified if they found out they were still breastfeeding. It could really hurt their chances of finding a date… ever. But since embarrassment is worse than death for teens, simply posting a breastfeeding selfie and tagging them on social media would possibly do it. Also, would take care of the whole talking to you thing.

Prom. There’s just no way you could find an on trend yet age appropriate prom dress that has easy boob access. Show them what you’d have to wear to prom so they had mama milks when they needed it. They’ll never want to breastfeed again.

Charge. Teenagers are the largest demographic with a disposable income. Use it to your advantage, my 13yo thought that $1/1 minute sounded about fair if a teen wanted to continue breastfeeding. That would encourage them to wean real quick: buy a new outfit or get some “bob bob” and the decision would be pretty simple.

Just say no. My teenagers maintain that saying “my body, my choice” would be a firm boundary no teenager would cross. Specially if you’re already teaching them to respect themselves and others.

So, tell us, what are your tips for weaning teenagers?

*Please note: this is intended to be humorous with a bit of satire.

Filed Under: Article, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, Breastfeeding in public, child led weaning, Children and breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding, family, Featured, humor, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting, The Leaky Boob, toddler, Weaning Tagged With: Breastfeeding, breastfeeding 2 year old, breastfeeding 4 year old, breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding beyond infancy, breastfeeding culture, breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding teenager, breastfeeding toddlers, extended breastfeeding, toddler breastfeeding, weaning teenager, when should you wean

7 Risks To Feeding Your Child- You’re Screwed No Matter What

June 13, 2014 by theleakyb@@b 2 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

You have a kid? Congrats! What should you feed them? Trying to decide? Weighing all your options and carefully assessing the risks? Great! You should do that. Also, you’re screwed no matter what you do. In 15 years of parenting 6 kids, having both breastfed and formula fed, and gone through phases in nutrition standards (yeah, there was a period with lots of Hamburger Helper and soda pop at each dinner and then a period of only organic, homemade, but most of the time somewhere in the middle), I have found that the “right” way was not only subjective but also highly circumstantial.

That there are some actual risks associated with formula feeding and breastfeeding is undeniable, if heavily debated. Risks such as possible lowered natural immunity and increased chance of ear infections with formula feeding or risks of mastitis and dietary sensitivities with breastfeeding. Nothing in life comes without risks. Yep, you’re facing being screwed or screwing up your kids no matter what you do! As parents all we can do is try our best to mitigate the risks our children face without putting them in a bubble. There’s risk to that too, what with BPA concerns, the possible damper on social skills development, and the need for oxygen. May as well let them live in the big bad scary world. Carefully weighing all the possible options, doing personal research, and making the best informed decisions we can according to our personal circumstances and resources means we have to learn to live with some risks. Regardless of how you feed your child, there are risks you face no matter how carefully you studied, planned, and executed your decision. Be it breastmilk straight from the tap, pumped breastmilk, donor milk, or formula and then eventually, before you know it, store bought baby food (organic or not), homemade baby food (organic or not), or baby-led solids, followed by McDonald’s Happy Meals, Whole Foods shopping carts, homemade, or homegrown; there are a few unavoidable risks to feeding your child.

There will likely be times you question yourself. Is this really necessary? Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? Am I stressing out about nothing? Have I ruined my child for life? Has my child ruined me for life? The answer to all these and more is: probably.
There is little doubt that new information will come out that you have, in fact, made the wrong choice. Those organic apples weren’t actually organic, breastmilk can have toxins in it (have you had yours tested?!), formula used an unnecessary ingredient now deemed dangerous and cancer causing, the baby food company didn’t list all the ingredients they actually used, artificial colors not only suck the actually cause two horns and a tail to grow on some kids… whatever it is, there will be something that’s bad about the choice you made.
Your child will grow to like junk food. Like moths to the flame, little kids love toxic laden junk food, the more carcinogens the better. Try as you might, they will discover the joys of foods you’d rather they not consume thanks to a grandparent, a little friend, a mother more lazy and uninformed than you (admit it, you have been judging her and she knew it), or more likely, daddy. And they will, at some point in time, eat something disgusting off the ground or the floor of your minivan. They will also pick their nose and eat it. They will lick something that will make you gag. No matter what you do to cultivate their palate to make discriminating food choices, they will be drawn to the junk and you will wonder if it ever even mattered.
The growth chart will scare you. Too big, too little, too average, whatever it is, you’ll probably have at least one appointment with your child’s doctor that will make you concerned about your child’s growth pattern. Because if there’s anything that can be truly charted, it’s that kids are predictably unpredictable.
Statistics aren’t guarantees. All the scary stuff that isn’t supposed to happen/is supposed to happen based on how you’re feeding your child doesn’t come true. The proverbial “they” said if you feed your child “this” way they won’t get sick, or that’s what you understood anyway, and yet you’re wiping green snot off your child’s face every day for months. And someone is bound to point this out to you, trumpeting how their kid is never sick. Immune systems can be such ignorant traitors clueless on the what all those studies say.
You will be judged. Pull out a breast or bottle to feed your baby and watch the judgment fly. Too long, too brief, too-not-what-they-did. Bad mom, exhibitionist, endangering your child, endangering other people’s children (their poor eyes may see the choice you’ve made and confuse them!), pouring toxins into your child, doing that in public, you name it, judgment will come from all directions no matter what you do.
You can make yourself crazy. Trying to do it perfectly right could be exactly what drives you over the edge of sanity. A very real risk.

And if you think it’s bad when they’re infants, just wait until your child is begging for cheetos and refusing the organic avocado and kale chips at playdates. No matter how you feed your children as infants, they will someday inevitably grow into toddlers eating their own boogers (and sometimes those of others), tasting dirt on the playground, sucking a sucker they found on the floor of the public bathroom, and licking the railing at a public park. The good news is, most of the time they really are going to be just fine even though.

Which is why it’s a good thing we don’t feed our children for others. Good luck! Whatever you do, there are risks. This is just one aspect of parenting, have confidence, there are even bigger risk you face in this journey. Go on, feed your kids, take a deep breath, and take the risks as they come. You’ve got this.

Filed Under: baby, baby-led weaning, Bottle Feeding, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, child led weaning, family, Featured, humor, motherhood, Parenting, toddler Tagged With: bottle, breast, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding and culture, formula feeding, infant feeding, mommy wars, motherhood, Parenting, Toddler

Breastfeeding, sexism, and public opinion polls

June 4, 2014 by theleakyb@@b Leave a Comment

Oh look, another poll from a media outlet for their audience to weigh in about women breastfeeding in public or past a certain age! Isn’t this fun? Scary boobs, scary breastmilk, scary baby, vote now! Breastfeeding, sexism and breastfeeding, is that even an issue? Does everybody really get to weigh in on a woman feeding her baby? Is it helping anyone? Or is it just a form of sexist entertainment?

Taking a deeper look at how these types of polls are hurting mothers and why I’m over these polls and won’t be sharing them anymore:

What do you think, are polls like these helping or hurting? Should we be voting on how women feed their children or do we have better things to do?

Filed Under: Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, Breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding support, breastfeeding video, breasts, Featured, humor, Jessica, motherhood, NIP, Parenting, The Leaky Boob, video Tagged With: Breastfeeding, breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding in society, Breastfeeding support, breastmilk, cultural attitudes about breastfeeding, entertainment, feminism, natural duration breastfeeding, Parenting, public opinion, sexism in entertainment, The Leaky Boob

9 Reasons you may be uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding

May 29, 2014 by theleakyb@@b 11 Comments

by Jessica Martin-Weber

*Please note this article utilizes satire and sarcasm with humor.

Photo from Instagram user Jeniholland.

We’re well into the 21st century yet breastfeeding appears to still make many people uncomfortable. I keep hoping those individuals that get upset about the biologically normal way to feed a baby are really a rarity but, unfortunately, it still seems to be a hot button issue. Regardless of how a woman is most comfortable feeding her baby, be it uncovered at the breast, covered at the breast, a bottle of expressed breastmilk, or a bottle of formula, plenty of people are uncomfortable witnessing a woman feeding her child and any form of breastfeeding seems to especially elicit vocal expressions of discomfort from others. I identified 9 reasons people may be uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding be it on social media or in person settings and tried to offer some solutions in overcoming what is essentially a discomfort about babies being fed. And that brings us to our first point:

Agism. Breasts aren’t the issue for you, nope. You just don’t think babies and small children have the right to eat in public. Or you think that every. single. time they do eat the experience should be charged with connection and intimacy between that child and their care-giver, staring deeply into each others’ eyes approximately 8-24 times a day and not witnessed by anyone else. Those babies, they need to keep that stuff happening in private! And yes, a baby or the needs of a small child should actually come second to your own personal comfort about what you witness. Older people, that’s a totally different story, they can eat when they need to eat and for the most part, where they need to eat and how they need to eat it without harassment, expectation of high level bonding, or a blanket. On the go, sitting at a table in public, while reading a book or talking with friends, it’s fine for those over the age of 2 to eat in public and even for them to post pictures of their meals on social media. But those babies better at least keep it under wraps! Spending some time watching just exactly how adults eat or watching this video could be key in getting you over your prejudices. No? You don’t discriminate against babies eating in public? Ok, have you considered that you could have…
Boob-phobia. It’s a real thing, check it out. Perhaps you’re uncomfortable by the sight of breastfeeding because you have Mastrophobia, a phobia of breasts (or cousins gynophobia, a fear of female parts, or papillaphobia, a fear of nipples) and seeing breastfeeding makes you want to run away. Which maybe that’s what you should do, complete with screaming and waving your arms hysterically. Or do what I do when watching a scary movie, hide behind a pillow only risking a peek here and there. Actually though, if you do really have boob-phobia, you should seek professional help. If that’s not it though, maybe it’s…
Brainwashing. Which is totally understandable and you can’t help the cultural conditioning that has brainwashed you into thinking breasts are truly only for sexual pleasure. You’re a victim of marketing and fear. Boobs aren’t for babies, boobs are for men/selling cars/selling beer/selling clothes/selling sex/selling music/selling movies/selling… selling, or at least that’s what the prevailing messages in much of society seems to be selling. If this is an issue, walking around with a blanket over your head to cut out these messages could be the solution. But maybe you are completely immune to marketing and the societal messages thrown at us from every which way, in which case it could be…
Judgment. You believe, and the reasons why are unimportant (certainly not fear or brainwashing), that breasts that aren’t properly shielded and covered belong to an immoral, immodest individual of low character. Women that don’t keep those things contained and pull them out and stick them in the mouth of their hungry child must not have a shred of decency and you judge them for that. Even if they define modesty or decency differently than you do. Such as “it would be indecent of me not to feed my child when they are hungry…” Heading to the bathroom to have your dinner may be exactly what you need to get you over this unfortunate character flaw. Not a judgmental person? Don’t care what other people do? Then maybe you’re uncomfortable with seeing breastfeeding because…
Insecurity. It could be anything. Insecurity about your own breasts (male or female), insecurity about your friend/father/husband/brother/son seeing someone’s breasts (which of course means you make sure they avoid all malls, sports shows, magazines, and movies), insecurity in seeing someone breastfeed their child when you didn’t/don’t breastfeed yours, insecurity that breastfeeding or not breastfeeding is some kind of mark of “good parenting”, insecurity that others may be uncomfortable with someone else breastfeeding and you feel the need to make sure everyone (but the breastfeeding pair) is comfortable, or maybe just insecurity that humans are all mammals. Whatever it is, and it could be anything, you personally battle insecurity and rather than face it in yourself you project your issues on to others. Sitting next to a breastfeeding mother while she feeds her child and having a conversation with her may do the trick. Not insecure? If you’re confident enough to not be threatened by a woman feeding her child, could it be…
Confusion. You get grossed out by the sight of breastfeeding because of two words: body fluids. It freaks you out that body fluids are free-flowing from a woman right into her baby! Who needs to see that, right? It doesn’t matter that it’s only natural because, hello, pooping, peeing, and sex are natural too and you don’t want to see any of THAT in public either, right? It’s certainly only a matter of time before they’re bottling those body fluids up and feeding them to children too, I’m sure. Fake urine will be flooding the shelves in no time, specially formulated to be just like the real thing. Aside from the obvious fact that you really can’t see it happening during the act of breastfeeding, basic biology helps clear this up a bit: breastmilk = nutrition, urine/feces = waste, genital secretions = not food. Some time studying basic nutrition and biology and understanding the basic differences should fix that right up. Get the difference and not confused? Moving on then, maybe it’s…
Misogyny. This goes along with the brainwashing point but it’s a little deeper. If you’re uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding because of misogyny, you actually hate women and consider them less than men. As such, their bodies are purely for men and a woman that would dare exercise her autonomy in using her body as she should choose, well she’s just asking for it, isn’t she? A breastfeeding woman is just rubbing it in your face, isn’t she? How dare she act as though she independently has worth and power over her own body. Besides, seeing breasts in use in such an a-sexual way is a bit unsettling. You haven’t sanctioned this and it’s uncomfortable to think that you have something in common with human babies. The way through this could be quite painful: start listening to women and catch a production of the Vagina Monologues. But you’re not a misogynist? Totally down with women as equals? Great! So what about…
Denial. There are people that spend time researching the emotion of disgust and have a disgust scale. What is it, why do we experience it, etc. Some triggers of disgust are understandable, like food contamination disgust. We don’t want to get sick. Obviously. So why are you disgusted by breastfeeding, AKA, feeding babies? It’s possible, these researchers theorize, that you just don’t like to be reminded of your animality. Humanity is good in your mind but anything that connects you to the animal side of humans grosses you out. That humans are mammals (creatures with mammary glands that use their mammaries to feed their young) is a fact you would rather forget. Watch some Discovery channel, you’ll have to eventually confront that breastfeeding our young isn’t the only animal-like behavior we homo sapiens have. Not that? Then…
Unfamiliarity. When we’re not used to seeing something it can be startling when we come across it. This isn’t your fault, you’re just not familiar with this as normal and actually expect the alternative to the biological norm instead. You just haven’t seen breastfeeding enough to be totally down with it. The fix to this one is pretty easy, see more breastfeeding. You’ll get over your discomfort the more you see it and soon it will become just as normal as it actually is. Don’t worry, more and more women are doing their part in feeding their babies in public, with and without covers, and you’ll get more comfortable with it the more you see them out and about or posting their photos on social media so hang in there, there’s hope for you yet!

________________________

What would you add to our list? Why do you think people may have issues with witnessing breastfeeding or encountering breastfeeding images? If you’re uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding, why do you think that is? Did you used to be uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding but are ok with it now?

________________________

Filed Under: Article, Bottle Feeding, Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding humor, Breastfeeding in public, breasts, Featured, guilt, humor, Jessica, motherhood, Parenting Tagged With: bottle feeding, Breastfeeding, breastfeeding and society, breastfeeding discreetly, breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding modest, Breastfeeding support, Community, motherhood

Sleep dreams

January 29, 2014 by theleakyb@@b Leave a Comment

This post made possible by the generous support of Arm’s Reach Concepts.

by Jessica Martin-Weber

To sleep or not to sleep, the question babies and little children everywhere wrestle with on a regular basis and parents pray will be answered with “to sleep.” Sleep like a baby sometimes sounds like an oxymoron when it seems like your baby won’t sleep. But sometimes it isn’t to sleep or not to sleep but rather, where to sleep. The Leakies joined me in sharing pictures of where and how they have found their little ones sleeping. Two of the funniest threads we’ve had on The Leaky Boob Facebook page were the result and an image collection of baby and little kid sleeping gold. We couldn’t fit even all of our favorites here so be sure to head over to beyondmoi.com for more totally adorable and hilarious moments of sleep with little ones. It could be one of the few times you will find yourself laughing about sleep as a parent.

Whatever you do, don’t lay down! The couch is there for support, I’m just resting my eyes mid bounce…