…Cause No One Really Gives a Sh*t

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Hi Leakies!

Well hello there wall, didn’t realize you were there until I ran into you… with my face.

Unless you are some kind of superhero, and even the they all have their moments of weakness, nobody can keep going indefinitely. We run out of steam. Burn out. Hit the wall.

Sometimes over and over again.

So when you hit the wall? How do you pick back up?

I don’t know. Well, I don’t know what will work for you. No tried and true way, one-size-fits-all option. There are some steps you can take to prevent hitting that wall, prevention is always the best way to go if you can (and we have some ideas for you here) but let’s be honest, sometimes we can’t prevent the wall-kiss.

Here are a few ways I’ve found to recover. These aren’t feel-good inspiring tips. These aren’t cheap spa pampering tricks you can do on your own at home. These aren’t pretty, flowery ideas of warm fuzzies.

These are the raw, real deal when you’ve smashed into a wall and you’ve got to get back up again.

Let it out. Scream, swear, cry, and throw some punches. On your own, away from anyone or to a safe adult partner who can respect your venting without taking it personally, yell about the wall and the stress that got you there. If it helps, drop a few cathartic f-bombs, punch a pillow, ugly cry, or storm outside and release a guttural yell from your primal side. While this could be scary for your children if it happens in front of your kids, if that does happen- because most of us do blow up at least once in a while in front of our kids- they’ll be ok, so will you. Apologize, share that you too sometimes have strong feelings, and work on recognizing your triggers sooner.

Scrub it out. I don’t love cleaning, I’m not one of those people that feels great satisfaction in cleaning. In fact, I hate it. But I sometimes love aggressively attacking the mold that may sprout in the caulking of our bathtub. It is a safe place for me to take my anger out and eliminate something that is just pissing me off.

Run it out. Or whatever workout helps you sweat and hurt and burn.

Turn it up. Blast the angry girl music of your teens, headbang in your living room, belt out the dance beats until you collapse from exhaustion.

Eat it up. Sure, healthy choices would be best and maybe a carrot will provide you a satisfying crunch (hahahahaha!) but it may require something more extreme such as shoving chocolate in your mouth while hiding in the bathroom. You’ll recover just as soon as you pick yourself up off the floor.

Sleep it off. Getting more of this may have helped avoid it in the first place but once you’ve run into the wall and smashed your head in, whatever it takes, sleep. Family nap time. Skip school to sleep in one day… or two. Make popcorn for dinner and move bedtime for everyone earlier. SLEEP.

Turn it on. The T.V. that is. Get yourself some space to deal with the wall you’ve crashed into by letting your child(ren) get absorbed into their favorite alternate reality. They can handle some binge watching of Sophia the First on Netflix. Everyone will recover.

Pick it up. Grab the phone and call or text someone. Maybe even someone you’ve never considered connecting with. We’re not meant to be isolated and I promise you, you are not the first parent to run into a wall. Someone else is right along with you. Ask for help- company on a walk, a play date, or even someone to watch your kids for a couple of hours so you can cry into a glass of wine.

Breathe it in. Oxygen helps clear our head and a deep breath can slow our heart rate and stop the fight or flight response. Breathe.

The wall sometimes turns out to be exactly what we needed to make changes for more sustainable choices in our lives. It can reveal where our expectations are not in line with reality, where abuse may be occurring, where isolation is defeating. After you recover from the wall, taking stock of what got you there in first place can help you recover more than anything else as you adjust accordingly.

Keep on keeping on, Leakies.

Peace,

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, theleakyboob.com

*This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

Are You A Brave Parent or a Wimp? Risking the Mess- Getting Creative with your Kids

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Hi Leakies!

Spring Break! Parents of school age children have either been dreading having the kids home for a whole week, or looking forward to it with hopeful expectation. Now that Spring Break is here, many parents can’t wait for school to start again. Even the hopeful ones were grossly underprepared, and they ran through all their fun activities within a day or two. Now what?

Yet other parents are enjoying their time at Disney, or on the beach somewhere, or some other vacation destination full of entertainment for the kids, and cocktails for the adults. Chances are, if you’re reading this newsletter, that’s not you – it’s certainly not me. For the rest of us, we are acutely aware of how many more days we have until the school routine returns with our sanity, while wanting to make the most of the time we actually have with our kids. “Let’s not blow it!” we think. And let’s not forget the work at home parents, who have the extra pressure of still knocking out work with kids underfoot and in their ears – not to mention on their nerves!

How do we keep boredom at bay while encouraging our kids to get creative about play? We have a few ideas for you here.

*This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

 

Parenting Advice You Can Trash- Take Your Advice And Shove It

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Dear Leakies,

New parent?

ALL THE ADVICE FOR YOU!

It goes with the territory. Annoying, sometimes helpful, usually not, and often completely baffling. Everyone has not just an opinion, no, somehow they’re all experts.

I have one piece of advice to give myself…

Just do you and ignore the advice unless you don’t want to, then don’t.

Ok, I have a second one…

Trust yourself. You’re going to make mistakes but you can learn and you can discern. Trust yourself.

Often, we doubt ourselves and a little bit of doubt can be good, can help us sharpen our skills, educate ourselves better, and double check when making decisions. But too much doubt can leave us completely frozen in our parenting. Children don’t need perfect parents (good thing because that will never happen), they just need parents that are trying and doing so with confidence. (In spite of the conflicting voices in their head!

What to do with all the advice? Pick what works for you and don’t worry about the rest.

And when you’re just not sure, that’s what your community is for. Bounce ideas off of them and see what feels right to you. (Why do moms crowd source medical decisions? See here.) You’re doing fine, you’ve got this.

Keep calm and parent on,

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com

This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

What is Love? Baby, Don’t Hurt Me- giveaways and more

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Dear Leakies,

As #TLBloves comes to a close, we are focusing on the relationship we have with our partner, including what we would like to have with our current or future partner.

Believing that settling is tantamount to giving up, we look for 8 ways to better our romantic relationship in all kinds of places, and it can be helpful to do so, so long as we don’t forget who we and our partner actually are. It’s impossible to fit someone else’s mould.

This week we offer you a smattering of articles and links to inspire you to draw closer to your loved one, to remember the love that you have, and cultivate your relationship so that it can bloom into something beautiful and life-giving. Including this one that sums up a core aspect of our own marriage.

Join us on Instagram, Facebook, and twitter as we share our connection stories with #TLBloves. So grateful for the sponsors we have who believe such connections are important; MilkMakersEarth Mama Angel Baby, fair trade Pebble ToysChompy Chic chewable jewelryBamboobies, and Baby K’Tan baby carriers.

Find love, Grow love, Be love.

Jeremy Martin-Weber
Co-owner, TheLeakyBoob.com
Owner, writer, Beyondmoi.com

This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

 

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Fed With Love- Giveaways and the Drama of Feeding Our Babies

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Dear Leakies,

It has been said that the way our babies come to us shapes who we are as parents, that we birth ourselves as mothers just as our children are born into our hearts and arms. I’ve seen that to be true with both adoption and childbirth.

And so I would say, our journey in feeding our children as infants feeds our mothering soul and confidence. The obstacles we encounter and how close we are to meeting our goals can directly impact how we view our own parenting competency.

This is a big part of why we still need infant feeding and parenting advocacy and why will continue doing so. It matters, not just for that moment, but for the long haul too. Sharing our feeding stories in all their diversity, from rainbows and butterflies to steep mountain and lakes of lava, matters. We can normalize just how varied it can be. And down with shame surrounding infant feeding.

It was with this in mind that the idea for a children’s book that celebrates feeding babies and toddlers was born. In conversation with my own children about the different ways babies are fed when they saw a baby with a stomach tube, they observed that the baby’s mom loved him very much. We began looking for images of babies and toddlers being fed with love. Together we wove a story of love in the various ways parents feed their children. Breast, bottle, cup, tube, spoon, syringe… What Love Tastes Like.

We’re looking forward to making our book available with stunning illustrations done by Joni Rae Latham through self-publishing. We’re going to need your help and we’ll be sharing even more about that soon. For now, join us on the What Love Tastes Like Facebook pageand Instagram for a sneak peak at the book and a place to share our fed with love experiences plus recipes and tips.

Every day on TLB’s social media we celebrate fed with love and honor the varied paths parents find themselves on in their infant feeding journeys. This month with #TLBloves, we are taking a look at how it extends beyond feeding and into our relationships.

Join us on Instagram, Facebook, and twitter as we share our connection stories with #TLBloves. So grateful for the sponsors we have who believe such connections are important; MilkMakersEarth Mama Angel Baby, fair trade Pebble ToysChompy Chic chewable jewelryBamboobies, and Baby K’Tan baby carriers.

Feed with love,

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com

This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

 

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When Your Kids are A$$holes…

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Dear Leakies,

This month we’re talking about relationships, connecting, and bonds with #TLBloves. We all need it but sometimes we take it for granted, particularly with our children.

It seems to be a given that parents will love their children and certainly, that’s usually what happens but without intentionality, we may miss out on connecting with our children. Time and effort are involved and it doesn’t just happen by being around them, being in the same room or home doesn’t mean we’re really present.

There came a point in my parenting when I realized I was always available to my children and I was taking care of them but what I wasn’t doing was being truly present… being withthem. For me, being a stay-at-home-mom was when it was the most difficult for me to be with my children, there was always something demanding my attention and in my mind I had endless amounts of time to connect with them, I could always do it later. It wasn’t until I returned to work that I realized that I may have been there for my children when I was staying at home but I rarely was with them. That had to change.

My daughter helped me work on that when she was 2.5 years old, that story here.

Building intentional connections are important in the best of times, even more so in the worst of times.

Like when we don’t really even like our own kids.

I know, what a horrible thing to admit.

But what a reality of parenting.

And it’s ok to feel like that, even ok to admit it (but maybe not to your child, just to friends) so you can take a deep breath and remember your child isn’t trying to be an a**hole, they’re just being… a child.

So what can you do? How do you avoid damaging your relationship with your child? I’m not sure I have the answers but I appreciate what Jeremy, dad of 6 girls, had to say about this over on BeyondMoi.com, here. We also loved this post on why you should hug your kids when they’re being horrible.

Join us on Instagram, Facebook, and twitter as we share our connection stories with #TLBloves. So grateful for the sponsors we have who believe such connections are important; MilkMakersEarth Mama Angel Baby, fair trade Pebble ToysChompy Chic chewable jewelryBamboobies, and Baby K’Tan baby carriers.

May you find the deep connections with your children in a way that lasts.

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com

This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

 

View More: http://yourstreetphotography.pass.us/leakyboobwraps

#TLBloves Giveaway- Share the Love

Humans have a deep need to connect with each other, forming bonds and experiencing love. But it isn’t always easy and sometimes it is downright confusing to be in relationship with others. With #TLBloves, we aim to provide families with community support through information sharing, narrative, and personal challenges, all free of judgment.

#TLBloves Giveaway Bundle includes items from Chompy Chic, Earth Mama Angel Baby, Kahiniwalla, Bamboobies, Milk Makers, and Baby K’tan!!

The giveaway!

Chompy Chic.

banner_vs1Chompy Chic Chewlery offers unique accessories for moms to wear and babies to chomp on.  Our stylish accessories are ideal for teething, nursing and babywearing. Geometric Gem Necklace

Chic geometric style necklace are ideal for babies to teethe on who have emerging teeth and may need a little extra help on focusing on the nursing.  All silicone is BPA and lead free, contain no phthalates, heavy metals or cadimium, 100% food grade and safe for babies to chomp on.  Silicone is FDA/CE approved.

All necklaces have a breakaway clasp for safety and are intended for moms to wear.  Products with small beads should never be left unattended with a baby.  Inspect for damage to cording and beads before each use. Discard if damaged. 

Retail Value: $28.00

For more information visit Chompy Chic.
Earth Mama Angel Baby.
image002Earth Mama’s classic Angel Baby Lotion was formulated with extra care, because what goes on your baby goes in your baby, through their mouths and skin! Gentle Angel Baby Lotion is baby safe skin care, blended with organic herbal ingredients to moisturize and protect sensitive, delicate skin. For babies of all ages – top to bottom, cheeks to cheeks. With organic Calendula and Rooibos, soothing to dry skin, eczema, diaper and skin rash. Smells so naturally Vanilla Orange good you’ll have to nibble on an adorable little tootsie or two!

Retail Value:  $24 (plus shipping- US only)

 For more information visit Earth Mama Angel Baby
 
 
Kahiniwalla/Pebble Child. 09 Donkey Green OctopusSome donkeys have a reputation for being a little bit grumpy… Not ours, though – he has a real twinkle in his eyes and a cheerful smiling face. And with his multi-colored stripes, large floppy ears and bright green tufted mane, he’s full of character and fun. Materials: 100% cotton with 100% polyester fill. Size: height approx 40cm, width approx 15cm. Care instructions: machine washable at 40 degrees and can be tumble dried on a low setting.
 
Retail Value: $39.95 (shipping within US only)
For more information visit Kahiniwalla.
Bamboobies.
BBtopSq200x200-1We are giving away a multi-pack of our bamboobies® Washable Nursing Pads. They are ultra-soft, absorbent and leak-proof. One box of our boob-ease® 100% Organic Nipple Balm. It’s 100% organic, lanolin-free and good for moms who suffer from sore and cracked nipples. One black bamboobies® Chic Nursing Shawl is a versatile wardrobe essential for maternity, nursing, and beyond! So stylish and discreet, no one will know it’s a nursing cover!
Retail Value: $70 (for the bundle)
For more information visit Bamboobies.
Milk Makers.
mm_select_logo®-2Milkmakers cookies and mixes are seriously delicious and nutritious…with natural key ingredients that can help BOOST your breast milk supply. We are giving away a month supply of Milkmakers cookies in the flavor of your choice!
Retail Value: $54.99 (shipping US only)
For more information visit Milk Makers.
Baby K’tan.
BK-BannerThe award winning Baby K’tan® ORIGINAL Baby Carrier is a wrap-style carrier without all of the wrapping. The patented double-loop design is an innovative blend of a sling, wrap and carrier all in one, providing the positions and benefits of all three. Individually sized to fit either mom or dad (refer to sizing chart to select correct size), the Baby K’tan Baby Carrier slips on easily like a t-shirt to comfortably carry baby from newborn to toddlerhood (8-35 lbs.). It is lightweight and compact like a sling, yet supportive like a structured carrier. Made of 100% soft natural cotton, the Baby K’tan ORIGINAL Baby Carrier is free of harmful chemicals, formaldehydes and azo dyes, and contains no hardware, plastic or metal.
Retail Value: $49.95 (shipping US & Canada only)
For more information visit Baby K’tan.

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Total Retail Value of Bundle: $266.89
Good luck to everyone!  Please use the widget below to enter. The giveaway is open from now through March 14, 2016. A big thanks to Chompy Chic, Earth Mama Angel Baby, Kahiniwalla, Bamboobies, Milk Makers, and Baby K’tan for their support of TLB and all breastfeeding women. This giveaway is open to participants in the USA.

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A Focus on Love and Relationships with #TLBloves

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Announcing the launch of The Leaky Boob’s brand new movement: #TLBloves.

#TLBloves is a movement to talk honestly and openly about relationships and connection. With our partners, our children, and most of all, ourselves.

Humans have a deep need to connect with each other, forming bonds and experiencing love. But it isn’t always easy and sometimes it is downright confusing to be in relationship with others. With #TLBloves, we aim to provide families with community support through information sharing, narrative, and personal challenges, all free of judgment.

Following the inspiration of #TLBmoves and #TLBsafeKids, we are excited to share this new experience with you, The Leaky Boob and Beyond Moi communities, that focuses first on strengthening the connection we have with our families and ourselves, to key aspects that deeply impact relationships of all sorts. Join us on The Leaky Boob Facebook page, here; The Leaky Boob Community Facebook group, hereBeyondMoi.com and the Beyond Moi Facebook Page, here; the newly formed Beyond Moi Community Facebook group (where we talk about just about anything and everything- particularly relationships), here; and What Love Tastes Like, here.

#TLBloves appropriately launches today, Valentine’s Day, and officially will run through March 14, though a meaningful focus on how we connect with others is never really limited to a set of dates. We will be focusing on what inspires us all to connect beyond how we feed our babies, such as strengthening bonds with our other children, connecting with friends, deepening our partner relationship, and supporting each other as we grow in loving ourselves, all of this through the sharing of information, support, and most importantly, The Leaky Boob community in action. Be on the lookout for the hashtag: #TLBloves, Leaky guest posts, a vocal presence across social media (Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook, and coming to Periscope), posts from our campaign ambassadors, relevant information and interactions on our sister sites, BeyondMoi.com and What Love Tastes Like on Facebook, inspiring support within our community, giveaways, and informative articles!

Let’s explore the depth and strength of love in our relationships together, with #TLBloves.

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We’ve assembled a small team to provide a little daily inspiration and some real-life experiences as they focus on the love present in their relationships. Here are the four mamas (apart from myself) that will be sharing their #TLBloves experiences with us this for the next month:

Erica Simpson. image2

I’m Erica: artist, wife to Jeremy, and mama to 1 year old Jayden (you can check out #jaydenrobertalexander on Instagram to see his precious face and sweet fro), expecting another baby in September. I blog at e-everydayart.com

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image1Jennifer Spillman. 

I’m Jennifer: 35 years old, married, and mom to 4 (Hayley-15, Ty-13, and Sadie and Wyatt- 5 month old twins). I am an RN at an OB/GYN group having worked in the mother/baby capacity for the last 10 years I love breastfeeding education.

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image1Valerie Barr.

I’m Valerie, stay-at-home-mom to 3 (Anthony- 7, Lauryn- 6, and Landon-2) with a background in school counseling . We are an active family: soccer, basketball and baseball for the grown-ups, gymnastics for Lauryn, and swimming for both eldest children, and plenty of time outside for all!

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image1 (1)Samantha Barragan.

I’m Samantha, 28 year old stay-at-home mom to Ximena (He-men-uh) . We are a very proud multi-racial and bi-lingual family. I am passionate about babywearing, breastfeeding (and FED babies), and spreading awareness on issues related to social justice. I love to read and I love being outside.

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Meet our partners:

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Chompy Chic. Chompy Chic Chewlery offers unique accessories for moms to wear and babies to chomp on. Our stylish accessories are ideal for teething, nursing and babywearing. Chompy Chic is handmade in the USA, BPA and lead free, FDA approved and 100% food grade silicone. Keep those little hands and teeth busy with any of our accessories to avoid pinching and biting. Chic geometric style necklace are ideal for babies to teethe on who have emerging teeth and may need a little extra help on focusing on the nursing. All silicone is BPA and lead free, contain no phthalates, heavy metals or cadimium, 100% food grade and safe for babies to chomp on. Silicone is FDA/CE approved.

All necklaces have a breakaway clasp for safety and are intended for moms to wear. Products with small beads should never be left unattended with a baby. Inspect for damage to cording and beads before each use. Discard if damaged.

SHARE-earth_mama_angel_baby_herb_heart_logo-700x700

Earth Mama Angel Baby. Earth Mama believes in the natural process of birth, and the healing power of nature. Our mission is to provide safe, herbal alternatives for pregnant, postpartum and breastfeeding women, and babies of all ages, and to help educate people about traditional plant medicine and safe personal care. We manufacture natural and organic products that work, combining generations of women’s wisdom and traditional plant medicine with the safety and assurances of contemporary evidence based research. If it doesn’t measure up to Mama’s standards, it doesn’t leave the building.

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Kahiniwalla. Kahiniwalla is a fair trade company based in the US which distributes Pebble, a fair trade brand based in Bangladesh, employing over 9,000 women in over 90 separate villages. Pebble is made up of handmade toys, rattles, hats, nursery decor and more. Kahiniwalla means storyteller and we not only seek to create a market for Pebble products but we tell the fantastic story of Pebble’s talented artisan wherever we go. Pebble is truly putting smiles on faces around the world.

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Bamboobies. Bamboobies makes premium, eco-friendly breastfeeding support products. Our products address a variety of pregnancy and new mom breastfeeding needs and really work (as our growing, vocal base of moms will tell you!). Our products are created with love from one mom to many others to ensure that new moms and babies are happier and healthier, and so is their world.

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Milk Makers. Milkmakers cookies and mixes are seriously delicious and nutritious…with natural key ingredients that can help BOOST your breast milk supply.

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Baby K’tan.  Baby K’tan, LLC is a Florida-based Juvenile product company founded by two families raising children with special needs. With a desire to provide their children with the sensory nourishment they required for optimal development, while also wanting to carry their babies as much as possible for parent-child bonding, both families experimented with different baby slings and carriers. Improving and incorporating different aspects from various carriers that were already on the market, the innovative designed Baby K’tan® Baby Carrier was created! As time went on, the Baby K’tan family added new styles and accessory items to their brand and continue to increase their product line in various areas of the juvenile industry, adding innovative products that assist in baby-parent bonding and make life easier.

A percentage of the proceeds from the sale of every Baby K’tan® product is allocated to the American Heart Association and to The National Down Syndrome Society.

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Our Secrets For More Sleep… Or Just Commiserating On Wanting More

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Hey there sleepyhead!  Feeling drained (literally) and lacking in sleep?  Welcome to parenthood! Of course this is when the chorus chimes in with “but they are totally worth it!”.  Yeah, ok yes, we get that but you know whats nice..not being so tired that you begin to question all the great mysteries of life and you sanity along with them.  Sleep is necessary, its important, and especially for a breastfeeding Momma and her partner for that matter.  In this edition of our weekly newsletter we are talking about sleep and how you can get more, without sacrificing your breastfeeding relationship. Have a great week Leakies!
-TLB Team
 

Hey Leakies!

Tired? You’re not alone. Not at all. In fact, studies shown that 4 months isn’t enough to recover from the fatigue that comes from having a new baby.

Lots and lots of parents are tired.

It is possible that it’s that your balance is off and it is something that nutrition and exercise could help with, or maybe it is even more serious and you need to see your health care provider for more information, or possibly it is depression and you need to speak to someone about your emotional and mental health, or maybe you’re like me- a night owl parent trying to function in an early bird world

 

This is an excerpt from our TLB email, to continue reading, click here.

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com

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Bleeding uteruses of the world unite!

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We’re talking about our bleeding uteruses again! But that’s not all, we also have information on breastfeeding and returning to work, sleep issues, bacon, and more. Read all the way through our email for a special discount from our friends at Lunapads!
-TLB Team

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Hey Leakies!

It was an amazing week talking about our menses last week. So great.

No, seriously.

It was like a breath of fresh air. We think about our periods a lot, think about them monthly, manage them for days at a time, and try to forget them frequently. Talking about them was freeing and refreshing. 

And to think, people used to douche for that feeling and all we had to do was talk.

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We learned that there is a wide range of normal, that extreme pain and bleeding through a full size pad in an hour aren’t normal and can be indicators of a more serious problem, that our cravings have meaning, with A Girl With A View we learned that there is some crazy menstrual history out there (here), that many of us wish we had been more prepared for our menarche (first period- 5 things one girl wishes she had known here), and some surprising realities we weren’t expecting about our postpartum periods here. If you’re interested in reading on, click here.

Jessica Martin-Weber
Founder, TheLeakyBoob.com

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