Is breastfeeding seen as sexual by all men? Is nursing in public or posting lactation photos on social media inappropriate because of what men might think of it sexually?

OH NO! A BREAST IS BEING USED TO FEED A BABY! 

Won’t someone think of the poor helpless men who are used to women’s bodies being all about male gratification and have no ability to control themselves, their thoughts, or their actions and will salivate at the sight of a small child being breastfed?

Or is it really that difficult for men to not sexualize a baby being fed?

We had a fan write in sharing that their partner feels that breastfeeding photos shouldn’t be posted on social media and they’re opposed to nursing in public because they don’t want others potentially seeing their partner’s breasts. The partner argued that “all men” see breastfeeding sexually and only sexually. That they can’t help themselves. What would you say in this situation?

We were wondering, why do YOU feel that it is important that people see nursing in public and/or that photos of breastfeeding be posted on social media? What do you wish those who may think it isn’t appropriate knew about breastfeeding images and nursing in public? And how do you feel about the idea that some see breastfeeding a child as sexual?

*Excuse me, I threw up a little in my mouth just writing that.*

Below are some of the responses we received on this post:

*Note: This is a pro-breastfeeding picture space, we strongly support posting nursing pics and feeding babies freely in public and we do not believe for one second that men can’t help themselves but to see breastfeeding as sexual because we hold a high view of all humans as being responsible for their own thoughts and actions and can, in fact, control themselves… including when they witness a baby being fed. If nursing in public isn’t for you to do personally, that’s fine and we support you, but we do not support controlling other people to not feed their babies in public or to not post images of breastfeeding on social media because we want to normalize breastfeeding and remove the fabricated sexualized attitudes that comes from routinely objectifying women and hiding breastfeeding away.

Rabia: I agree and i do feed my baby in public places as i can’t let my baby stay hungry because of such mentality of People and my husband supports and respect me for that.

Benjamin: I can testify that all men don’t see breastfeeding as sexual. I’ve been fully supportive of my wife breastfeeding our four babies wherever she feels comfortable doing it. We love talking pictures of her nursing our babies, but we have many church friends that don’t feel comfortable about openly breastfeeding and out of respect for them don’t often post them on social media. We have made some posts about the topic trying to educate that breasts don’t always have to be viewed sexually.

Evangeline: I do not think all men think it’s sexual- my husband doesn’t and loves watching me feed our son and in some ways he’s also jealous of that bond I have with him. At the same time, he will argue there’s creeps that will stare (and I believe that’s true). But we both believe the default to be people minding their business in public, for both sexes. But I can understand a husband not wanting those pictures shared on social media bc of the outliers mentioned above and just the fact that everyone they know may now see their wife’s breast- causing them to be uncomfortable regardless of the fact that it’s not in a sexual situation.

Деница Б.: My man doesn’t see it as sexual, it is what it is. They were not specifically created to please men’s eyes, they are meant for feeding babies. The more babies are breastfed in public and the more we surrounds ourself with such images the more normal and natural it will look. I mean look at our distorted perseptions of what normal bodies look like thanks to the images we see in movies, magazines, etc.

Lesley: In the 13 months that I’ve been breastfeeding amongst friends who haven’t been around it much before, the more normal it’s become. It’s just mothering.

Stephanie: It’s not true. My husband is a breast man and definitely did not view breastfeeding as sexual. Had no issues with me breastfeeding in public or being viewed publicly on social media.

Tom: Speaking as a man I can say that not all men view it as sexual. I grew up in a breastfeeding home so it’s what I know. I’m 20 years older than my youngest brother and my mother breastfed him openly in our presence. I think it’s ludicrous to expect mothers to hide what they are doing because some men can’t control their thoughts. I think the more society sees breastfeeding the faster it will be desexualized.

Glenda: Tough for the men. Women should not change their biologically normal behavior to suit perverts.

Personally, I don’t care if someone sees breastfeeding and has sexual thoughts. That is their problem. Their responsibility is to manage and control their thoughts, desires, urges, and actions. Mine is to control mine. I am responsible for caring for my child.

This applies to other socially accepted areas.

There are some who see a small child and sexualize them. They are expected to control their behaviors and if they don’t, they are criminally responsible. Children don’t have to be hidden from public because of a few people who have reprehensible thoughts they are responsible for controlling. It is not my job to keep others from being perverted and it isn’t my responsibility to make others comfortable.

There are some who see feet and are aroused and yet sandals aren’t considered immodest. Those with foot fetishes are simply expected to control themselves and, this may come as a shock to those who think breastfeeding should be covered, foot fetishists manage to not assault people wearing sandals just fine.

Maybe the issue isn’t that men can’t control themselves. It is that so many expect them not to and routinely require women to manage men’s desires on their behalf.

In fact I think this wouldn’t be an issue at all if women were not regularly dehumanized and reduced to their sex appeal and how they can be used by men. To me, that’s the real issue here.

This whole idea that nursing in public is inappropriate because of the sexualizing thoughts some may have is victim blaming and enabling the dehumanization of those feeding and nurturing their children. The problem is not with the breastfeeding and those breastfeeding are not responsible or to blame for those that dehumanize and objectify them.

I know many men that don’t bat an eye at a woman breastfeeding, they are steady, respectful, and mature. They aren’t exceptional humans, they’re just decent people. They would all tell you that it isn’t that hard to not sexually objectify someone feeding a baby. But then they don’t routinely dehumanize others for any reason. Decent people don’t.

Let’s raise our expectations of men and make it socially reprehensible to sexualize a small child being fed. 

Men can handle this, they’re grownups.