Let me just start by saying I really love my baby. And like all parents who really love their children, I absolutely adore every moment with him and delight in each perfect perfection of him. I am never rankled or flustered or overwhelmed and make sure he knows I love his sweet cuddles and his boogers, his little toes and his rank diapers.

Don’t do the crime if you can’t enjoy every second of the time, amiright?

Ok, fine, maybe sometimes I don’t love every little snot smear or middle of the night waking. Maybe I’ve held my breath through a diaper change or two rather than inhaling the bouquet of my child’s digestive system. Maybe.

My little one and I are on the nursing boundaries struggle bus right now.

Unfortunately, this has coincided with his latest language development.

Shrieking.

Shrieking is like screaming except pointier, more shrill, and contradictorily, more guttural too. Shrieking is also always punctuated with sudden and instantonset and usually accompanied by some kind of physical thrashing.

It’s like if styrofoam and nails on a chalk-board had a baby and made a mutant version of one of those screaming monkeys.

What isn’t to love about this?

We’re good, we’re good. I’m using my breathing exercises like I’m in 2nd stage labor or something but everything’s fine. My 4yo has me smelling the flower and blowing out the candle to regulate my nervous system like a PRO.

I am incredibly well oxygenated right now.

The cause of the shrieking? I have dared to set some limits such as:

I will redirect your hand when you pinch my arm, back fat, or side boob.

I will keep my other side covered and gently kiss your fingers to redirect you from trying to twiddle. (Because by rainbows, butterflies, unicorns, daffodils, and sweet Baby Jesus, I will resist the twiddle trigger of my inner she-wolf). Twiddling is how I understand why animals will bite their own children when they are OVER nursing.

I will consider you done for with a feeding session if you let go regularly to jabber to me, engage in prolonged humming, go for downward dog into a summersault, or bite me and I will stop the feed, give you a kiss, tell you I love you, and transition us to a new activity that doesn’t involve your mouth on my body while you train for the 2042 Olympic gymnastics team.

I will not feed every single time I sit down just because you believe me sitting is reason to nurse, sometimes I will sit without it being a feed and I will encourage you to play even though I’m sitting.

I consider these reasonable nursing boundaries.

He considers these RUINING HIS LIFE. Not even preteen yet and here he is nailing the teen attitude.

This won’t be the last time we disagree.

Just wait until he learns about our boundaries around phones and screens for kids.

For now, I’m working on helping him accept his feelings with coregulation that doesn’t include nursing in these shrieking moments. He is working on showing me, no worries, he can get even louder and more persistent.

Just over here lovin’ the time. Every shrieking second.